The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)
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"I'm glad you asked!" said Ryan Seagrimm. "Bring out the test!" He yelled as a Bunny in a cage was rolled out. "Now just react how you normally would in this situation."
"Hmm. I see what are you pointing out to me. If I would be a truly sadistic villain I should dispose of the animal. But me, I`m not sadistic. I shall ..." Cheshire laughed and suddenly disappeared.
*poof* For a moment all everyone could see was a thick cloud of dust. The lights turned off. It was pitch black and the only thing you could hear was a sound of purring and maniacal laughing.
*poof* For a moment all everyone could see was a thick cloud of dust. The lights turned off. It was pitch black and the only thing you could hear was a sound of purring and maniacal laughing.
Hearing disembodied maniacal laughter, Paula Chell ducked under the table convinced that GLaDOS had gone insane and was trying to kill her, again.
"Don't let it get me, Mr. Scary Maddawg." she say holding on to him for dear life.
"Don't let it get me, Mr. Scary Maddawg." she say holding on to him for dear life.
Back in the wreckage of Las Vegas, a pile of rubble moved. Some of the debris from the top rolled off, and, using all his strength, Sollux pushed himself to his hands and knees. Shaking the dust and rubble off him, Sollux tried to stand, failed, and collapsed into a pool of his own vomit again.
"ii... liive..." He mumbled, reaching into his pockets for a jar. He found it, pulled it out and brought it up to his mouth, but a trendy converse shoe stamped down on his wrist.
"No. Bad Sollux. We don't eat the mind honey," the man standing above him scolded.
"Y... you..." Sollux croaked.
"Yep. Events have unfortunately arisen that have swayed my hand into entering the fray once more, so I'm afraid you won't be needed anymore. And an explosion of a city in Nevada seems like as good a place as any to kill you off..." the young man said, frowning sympathetically. "I'm sorry it's come to this, but hey, them's the breaks." He removed his foot from Sollux's hand, reaching into the satchel at his waist for a weapon to finish Sollux off with, and reacting to the oppurtunity Sollux swung his arm towards him, sending a shard of glass flying towards his executioner's neck. The young man casually leaned forwards, losing only a few strands of his spiky blue anime-hair, and kicked Sollux in the face with the toe of his trainer. "Oh, now look what you've done... I was going to allow you to die quietly, but now I'm afraid I'll have to introduce you to the same fate as I did Death..." the young man crouched down, placed a hand around Sollux's neck and picked him up. "So long, kid. You just weren't doing it for me." And with that, Sam teleported Sollux to a realm from which no-one can ever escape; the Atheist Afterlife. And, as atheists don't believe in an afterlife, that means that Sam sent Sollux nowhere; and that is where Sollux shall spend the rest of eternity. Nowhere.
"Okay, thank god that's over!" Sam said cheerfully to himself. "Now, think happy thoughts! Get into character! Dogs go "woof"! It's raining knives, hallelujah! Unbridled joy and delightful whimsicality, everywhere! And... we're back." His trademark smile now back on his face, Sam G turned to look for Ram and the rest of his friends.
"ii... liive..." He mumbled, reaching into his pockets for a jar. He found it, pulled it out and brought it up to his mouth, but a trendy converse shoe stamped down on his wrist.
"No. Bad Sollux. We don't eat the mind honey," the man standing above him scolded.
"Y... you..." Sollux croaked.
"Yep. Events have unfortunately arisen that have swayed my hand into entering the fray once more, so I'm afraid you won't be needed anymore. And an explosion of a city in Nevada seems like as good a place as any to kill you off..." the young man said, frowning sympathetically. "I'm sorry it's come to this, but hey, them's the breaks." He removed his foot from Sollux's hand, reaching into the satchel at his waist for a weapon to finish Sollux off with, and reacting to the oppurtunity Sollux swung his arm towards him, sending a shard of glass flying towards his executioner's neck. The young man casually leaned forwards, losing only a few strands of his spiky blue anime-hair, and kicked Sollux in the face with the toe of his trainer. "Oh, now look what you've done... I was going to allow you to die quietly, but now I'm afraid I'll have to introduce you to the same fate as I did Death..." the young man crouched down, placed a hand around Sollux's neck and picked him up. "So long, kid. You just weren't doing it for me." And with that, Sam teleported Sollux to a realm from which no-one can ever escape; the Atheist Afterlife. And, as atheists don't believe in an afterlife, that means that Sam sent Sollux nowhere; and that is where Sollux shall spend the rest of eternity. Nowhere.
"Okay, thank god that's over!" Sam said cheerfully to himself. "Now, think happy thoughts! Get into character! Dogs go "woof"! It's raining knives, hallelujah! Unbridled joy and delightful whimsicality, everywhere! And... we're back." His trademark smile now back on his face, Sam G turned to look for Ram and the rest of his friends.
After some time lights turned on, and in the middle of the room there was the same cage with the bunny, except the bunny seemed strange. But there was no sign of Cheshire. Could such a nice kitty really do something villainous? Or the nice kitty was just an image, behind which the real monster was hidden.
The judges looked up from their judging of Chesire Cat's villainous deeds to the bunny as crashes came from the cockpit. Sho stumbled out, clearly drunk. "That man, is my hero! Do you know that he has been to hell and back.....4 TIMES! And he STILL had a hidden flask of scotch at the end of it! But I wouldn't try iiiit. Iiit's homebrew......and its some strong shiite!" Sho rambled on until he collapsed on the cargo bay floor.
"Argh, he never was much of a drinker!" The pirate cap'n shrugged.
"HEY! YOU GOT DRUNK WITHOUT ME!!!! BASTARD!" Grimm screamed.
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMM!" Maddawg shouted.
"Oh fuck me sidewa-" Grimm mumbled before being backhanded across the FACE by Maddawg.
"*whimper* Did you have to hit me so har-" Another backhand.
"Ok, I get the pictur-" This time, Maddawg kicked Grimm in the FACE, knocking Grimm to the floor. Grimm glared up at Maddawg, not daring to say a word incase he got beaten again.
"See, I knew that we had a reason to keep him around!" Maddawg said.
Chell looked at Maddawg and pouted. "You shouldn't be mean to the blue haired moron. He is cursed with AWESOME BLUE HAIR!"
Sho looked up from the floor. "NEWSFLASH! Grimm is our resident PUNCHING BAG!!!"
The pirate Cap'n looked at Chell too. "Arr, he be right, lassie. He be right."
Jakeman watched the commotion unfold on the cargo hold cameras. "Hahahaaaa. This is the place to BE! OI MADDAWG! We'll be in Hong Kong in a few hours!"
"Argh, he never was much of a drinker!" The pirate cap'n shrugged.
"HEY! YOU GOT DRUNK WITHOUT ME!!!! BASTARD!" Grimm screamed.
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMM!" Maddawg shouted.
"Oh fuck me sidewa-" Grimm mumbled before being backhanded across the FACE by Maddawg.
"*whimper* Did you have to hit me so har-" Another backhand.
"Ok, I get the pictur-" This time, Maddawg kicked Grimm in the FACE, knocking Grimm to the floor. Grimm glared up at Maddawg, not daring to say a word incase he got beaten again.
"See, I knew that we had a reason to keep him around!" Maddawg said.
Chell looked at Maddawg and pouted. "You shouldn't be mean to the blue haired moron. He is cursed with AWESOME BLUE HAIR!"
Sho looked up from the floor. "NEWSFLASH! Grimm is our resident PUNCHING BAG!!!"
The pirate Cap'n looked at Chell too. "Arr, he be right, lassie. He be right."
Jakeman watched the commotion unfold on the cargo hold cameras. "Hahahaaaa. This is the place to BE! OI MADDAWG! We'll be in Hong Kong in a few hours!"
"Mr. Candy Head is a punching bag?" says Chell "But his hair is made of candy." said Chell, still confused why everyone was so mean to the blue cotton candy haired moron.
After the all that nonsense the villains returned to their original nonsense, AMERICAN OVERLORD
"Ye did your thing dawg, and it was fairly evil. Said Randy 'the Pirate' Jackson.
"You so scary and evil, Mr. Kitty, [sub]That poor bunny[/sub], I loved it it was special and unique." said the always perky Paula Chell
"That was the worst excuse for villainy I have ever seen, absolutely dreadful, Chell I am amazed by your level of perky stupidity. If you want to be a better villain you're going to have to do better." says Simon Scowl
With that the Judges got up and went to work on the final decision, inside a troop transport truck.
"And while the judges work on the final verdict lets take a minute to thank Toyota, Coca~Cola, Epic Games, Valve, and Japan, Bungie, and The Escapist for sponsoring the show." says Ryan SeaGrim.
"Grim stop being such a tool." says Sho
After the all that nonsense the villains returned to their original nonsense, AMERICAN OVERLORD
"Ye did your thing dawg, and it was fairly evil. Said Randy 'the Pirate' Jackson.
"You so scary and evil, Mr. Kitty, [sub]That poor bunny[/sub], I loved it it was special and unique." said the always perky Paula Chell
"That was the worst excuse for villainy I have ever seen, absolutely dreadful, Chell I am amazed by your level of perky stupidity. If you want to be a better villain you're going to have to do better." says Simon Scowl
With that the Judges got up and went to work on the final decision, inside a troop transport truck.
"And while the judges work on the final verdict lets take a minute to thank Toyota, Coca~Cola, Epic Games, Valve, and Japan, Bungie, and The Escapist for sponsoring the show." says Ryan SeaGrim.
"Grim stop being such a tool." says Sho
A man was walking down the street, then women were all over him.
COCA-COLA. It'll help you get women.
From Epic Games comes... GEARS OF WAR 3. Triple the chainsaws, triple the blood, and triple the TESTOSTERONE.
This Winter, Valve is taking a new, more gentle approach to gaming.
FUCK THAT. Left 4 Dead. This game is so good, we skipped the third. Fuck the third. We're motherfuckin Valve. What're you gonna do about it? That's right, nothin. *****.
JAPAN. Either your addicted to the anime, or wish it was gone. BUY IT
BUY JAPAN NOW.
BUNGIE. You want more Halo!? TOO FUCKING BAD. We're here with Stubbs the Zombie II. This game is fucking amazing. Buy it now. Seriously, get the fuck out of your house and buy this shit. It makes Halo look like SHIT.
Do you like the internet? Do you like games? If so, than The Escapist is the place for you! You can chat with friends and meet new people. All in a friendly, safe, environment.
"Did... Did we just cut to commercial!?" SeaGrimm asked
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO BE A TOOL." Sho replied.
"Where... How did we just see those..." Simon Scowl muttered to himself.
COCA-COLA. It'll help you get women.
From Epic Games comes... GEARS OF WAR 3. Triple the chainsaws, triple the blood, and triple the TESTOSTERONE.
This Winter, Valve is taking a new, more gentle approach to gaming.
FUCK THAT. Left 4 Dead. This game is so good, we skipped the third. Fuck the third. We're motherfuckin Valve. What're you gonna do about it? That's right, nothin. *****.
JAPAN. Either your addicted to the anime, or wish it was gone. BUY IT
BUY JAPAN NOW.
BUNGIE. You want more Halo!? TOO FUCKING BAD. We're here with Stubbs the Zombie II. This game is fucking amazing. Buy it now. Seriously, get the fuck out of your house and buy this shit. It makes Halo look like SHIT.
Do you like the internet? Do you like games? If so, than The Escapist is the place for you! You can chat with friends and meet new people. All in a friendly, safe, environment.
"Did... Did we just cut to commercial!?" SeaGrimm asked
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO BE A TOOL." Sho replied.
"Where... How did we just see those..." Simon Scowl muttered to himself.
The Vegas compound exploded and the villains escaped on a roller coaster, through a portal into a giant military cargo plane. they took it over . Jakeman, an ODST marine shows up and is now piloting, the villain are currently holding American Idol parody.
Sam (the character) is Back
Ryan, Frank, and Shirke did stuff in canada.
Sam (the character) is Back
Ryan, Frank, and Shirke did stuff in canada.
"I say we fly to the moooooooooooon!" Shouted Frank, pointing to the sky, nothing happened.
1 LONG PAUSE LATER!
"You really expected to magically grow wings and fly didn't you?" Asked Shrike
"Yeah, kinda." Replied Frank.
1 LONG PAUSE LATER!
"You really expected to magically grow wings and fly didn't you?" Asked Shrike
"Yeah, kinda." Replied Frank.
The Shrike paused..... "Well if you to go to the moon...."
The Shrike spread his arms wide and slowly a faint ring connects from his four outstretched arms and the ground. Slowly the Shrike took energy from the void which binds; soon the ring solidified and filled looking like a mirror.
"If you step through this portal you will step out on the moon. This is a Farcaster, an instant teleporter, it took a lot of energy to make it, so.....? The Shrike stepped through the portal; it only rippled slightly as he disappeared.
The Shrike spread his arms wide and slowly a faint ring connects from his four outstretched arms and the ground. Slowly the Shrike took energy from the void which binds; soon the ring solidified and filled looking like a mirror.
"If you step through this portal you will step out on the moon. This is a Farcaster, an instant teleporter, it took a lot of energy to make it, so.....? The Shrike stepped through the portal; it only rippled slightly as he disappeared.
"What is the final vote on the cat, thoughts." asks Maddawg of the other judges.
"He's fluffy like a turret." says Chell.
"He be makin' a fine cup a tea, dawg" say Cap'n Sky
"I mean about a promotion you idiots." says Maddawg
"sure" say both chell and cap'n sky
Maddawg, and the others step out of the truck and hand Grim an envelope.
"Cheshire cat the Judges voted and it look like you have been promoted to the position of Maddawg executive assistant."
Everyone claps
"He's fluffy like a turret." says Chell.
"He be makin' a fine cup a tea, dawg" say Cap'n Sky
"I mean about a promotion you idiots." says Maddawg
"sure" say both chell and cap'n sky
Maddawg, and the others step out of the truck and hand Grim an envelope.
"Cheshire cat the Judges voted and it look like you have been promoted to the position of Maddawg executive assistant."
Everyone claps
"Oh where oh where did my little self go? Oh where the marmite am I!?" Sang Khan, once again finding his memory wiped of what has happended in the past 4-6 weeks.
Ryan stepped through the portals, curious how his Bio-mechanical body would react to the moon. he also decided to tell Frank something important
"Hey Frank you remember that thing I do?"
"What that massive fire laser thing?"
"Oh actually I meant that little detail that I'm a were dragon."
"Oh so what are you gonna do?"
"Well I change when i stare at the full moon, soooooo."
suddenly the light i n Ryan's eyes faded until they were nothing but black spheres
"What happened to you Cybe?"
"Oh nothing to worry about" he said as he stumbled around the moon.
"I just diverted all power from my ocular receptors to my other sensors, audio sensors improved radar functioning. I should be fine as long as I don't hit anything."
he then walked right into the flag the Americans had put on the moon.
"Hey Frank you remember that thing I do?"
"What that massive fire laser thing?"
"Oh actually I meant that little detail that I'm a were dragon."
"Oh so what are you gonna do?"
"Well I change when i stare at the full moon, soooooo."
suddenly the light i n Ryan's eyes faded until they were nothing but black spheres
"What happened to you Cybe?"
"Oh nothing to worry about" he said as he stumbled around the moon.
"I just diverted all power from my ocular receptors to my other sensors, audio sensors improved radar functioning. I should be fine as long as I don't hit anything."
he then walked right into the flag the Americans had put on the moon.
"Wait, executive assistant!? That's at least 90 steps above me!" Grimm whined.
"Well, you don't really leave enough of an impression... That's why you don't get promoted." Maddawg explained.
"I'M IN EVERY POST." Grimm replied.
"But not in every impression!" Sho said back
"That... That makes no grammatical sense..." Grimm mumbled.
"SHUT UP!" Sho said and pushed Grimm out of the plane.
"COTTON CANDY MAN, NOOOOOO" Chell cried.
"Wait for it." Sho said yawning.
"Dick..." Grimm muttered.
"But... He just..." Chell stammered.
"It's like his superpower. He comes back. No matter what. Like the god of all boomerangs." Sho explained shrugging.
Chell looked at Maddawg for a better answer. "Uhhh, well, we keep him around... He's pretty fun to hit." Maddwg said.
"Alright, this is the last stop, everybody out!" The pilot said.
"Where are we?" Maddawg asked. "I don't remember asking for a location."
"Egypt." Sho said as he looked out the window.
"Argh... Looks like it..." Sky grumbled.
"THIS IS ARIZONA YOU TWATS." The pilot said.
"OH YEA! We nuked it, didn't we..." Maddawg said in a reminiscent tone.
"But there are pyramids... And the nile river... And the Sphinx..." Sho mumbled.
The pilot checked his map. "Oh, I was reading it upsidedown. This is Egypt."
"Okayy...." Sho mumbled and began to step off the plane.
"Well, you don't really leave enough of an impression... That's why you don't get promoted." Maddawg explained.
"I'M IN EVERY POST." Grimm replied.
"But not in every impression!" Sho said back
"That... That makes no grammatical sense..." Grimm mumbled.
"SHUT UP!" Sho said and pushed Grimm out of the plane.
"COTTON CANDY MAN, NOOOOOO" Chell cried.
"Wait for it." Sho said yawning.
"Dick..." Grimm muttered.
"But... He just..." Chell stammered.
"It's like his superpower. He comes back. No matter what. Like the god of all boomerangs." Sho explained shrugging.
Chell looked at Maddawg for a better answer. "Uhhh, well, we keep him around... He's pretty fun to hit." Maddwg said.
"Alright, this is the last stop, everybody out!" The pilot said.
"Where are we?" Maddawg asked. "I don't remember asking for a location."
"Egypt." Sho said as he looked out the window.
"Argh... Looks like it..." Sky grumbled.
"THIS IS ARIZONA YOU TWATS." The pilot said.
"OH YEA! We nuked it, didn't we..." Maddawg said in a reminiscent tone.
"But there are pyramids... And the nile river... And the Sphinx..." Sho mumbled.
The pilot checked his map. "Oh, I was reading it upsidedown. This is Egypt."
"Okayy...." Sho mumbled and began to step off the plane.
Wanted to be off the plane, didn't know where. Stole brothers 20 sided die, named 20 places, it landed on 9. 9 was Egypt.
"This place looks fun" said Chell following Mr. Grey Hair of the plane.
"I wanna go in there" she said pointing to a pyramid, he fired an orange portal at the plane,
then running straight for it using the portal gun to drag Grimm with her.
"Why me, why always me." he whined.
"because your cute, and have tasty hair." She said.
They arrived at a large hill over looking the pyramid.
"I have an Idea." Said Chell
"Oh dear sweet lord no"
She push Grimm face down into the sand, and rode him like a surfboard to the bottom.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" she screamed on the way down
She fired a blue portal at the pyramid then wave to her friends on the other side.
"I wanna go in there" she said pointing to a pyramid, he fired an orange portal at the plane,
then running straight for it using the portal gun to drag Grimm with her.
"Why me, why always me." he whined.
"because your cute, and have tasty hair." She said.
They arrived at a large hill over looking the pyramid.
"I have an Idea." Said Chell
"Oh dear sweet lord no"
She push Grimm face down into the sand, and rode him like a surfboard to the bottom.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" she screamed on the way down
She fired a blue portal at the pyramid then wave to her friends on the other side.
The plane did come with vehicles