The Escapist users and Rape

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Dec 16, 2009
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Palademon said:
Also, how is consent while drunk not willful, but initiationg sex while drunk undefendable?
So it's a case of "You consented, it's not your fault you were drunk" whilst at the same time being "You initiated sex, being drunk isn't an excuse."

What the Hell?
yes this. WTF

It's like these people have never been in a club just to have fun and ended up pulling. There is no lurking in corners, waiting to rape. We dance we kiss we undress eachother back at her place. Consent enough in my book

I think this has all come from some spin off of the White Knight Syndrome
The women is a precious flower on a pedestal and any man who does anything ungentlemanly is evil
 

anthony87

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Aug 13, 2009
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Pyramid Head said:
Don't have sex with drunk people. Their breath is awful!
Plus one of the defining attributes of intoxication is impaired judgment, so it's easy to argue that drunken consent isn't consent because they are not in the right state of mind. Better to just stick with the sober or get consent before getting shitfaced. And i could bring up the fact that you should know your limits and stop drinking before you're liable to rise to the occasion with a total stranger, but expecting responsibility out of adults is apparently asking too much.
Well see myself and others have said many times that it could easily be construed as rape is the person is indeed shitfaced, we're not trying to dismiss that in any way but according to the high and mighty crowd, consent given after a SINGLE drink doesn't count because that one drink has now impaired every single decision you will make for the rest of the night.
 

anthony87

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Aug 13, 2009
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Mr Ink 5000 said:
Palademon said:
Also, how is consent while drunk not willful, but initiationg sex while drunk undefendable?
So it's a case of "You consented, it's not your fault you were drunk" whilst at the same time being "You initiated sex, being drunk isn't an excuse."

What the Hell?
yes this. WTF

It's like these people have never been in a club just to have fun and ended up pulling. There is no lurking in corners, waiting to rape. We dance we kiss we undress eachother back at her place. Consent enough in my book

I think this has all come from some spin off of the White Knight Syndrome
The women is a precious flower on a pedestal and any man who does anything ungentlemanly is evil
I think it's also safe to assume that most, if not all of the people claiming that we're now apparently rapists have never had a drink before in their lives because they seem to be grossly overestimating the effects of 1 or 2 drinks.
 

Dastardly

Imaginary Friend
Apr 19, 2010
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irishda said:
Taking the issue entirely separate from the issue of rape, people need to focus on logical (and legal) consistency of definition.

If a person can become drunk enough that they are no longer "willful" -- that is to say, they can no longer be trusted to give dependable statements about their wishes or intents -- then the law must be consistent about this. We'll call this state "incapacitated" for now.

That said, if a person engages in criminal activity while drunk, they are not excused from their crimes (provided they were not made drunk without their knowledge, which can serve as a mitigating circumstance). If I get drunk and rob you, I'm responsible for robbing you.

But on the other end of things, when two drunk people (both falling under the above definition of "incapacitated") engage in sex, there are several different ways this can occur.

1. Party A propositions Party B. Party B refuses. Party A continues regardless. This constitutes illegal activity -- ie, Rape -- on the part of Party A.

2. Party A wants to proposition Party B, but Party B is unconscious or passed out. Party A takes this silence as a "yes" and goes about his/her business. This constitutes illegal activity -- ie, Rape -- on the part of Party A.

3. Party A propositions Party B, and Party B says yes. In the morning, Party B cites being incapacitated and claims consent was not duly given. This is where a lot of people seem to have the question of whether or not illegal activity took place.

4. Party A propositions Party B, not knowing that Party A has already been drinking heavily that evening. Party B accepts. In the morning, Party B makes it known to Party A (or the authorities) that he/she was incapacitated and consent was not duly given. This is another situation that raises a lot of questions.

It seems to me that #1 and #2 are clear-cut rape scenarios. But scenarios #3 and #4?

For Scenario #3: If Party B's judgment can be so impaired that his/her "Yes" cannot be taken as binding, how can an equally-drunk Party A's judgment to receive that "Yes" at face value be considered binding? It displays an inconsistent handling of the terms and conditions being considered.

For Scenario #4: We can often tell someone they "should have known," but that's not so simple. Some people mask the physical effects of intoxication very well. Some people don't recognize them well in others. This creates a very uncomfortable grey area.

Could this be grounds to charge someone? Perhaps, depending on the circumstances. But a conviction would predicate upon being able to prove Party A knew, beyond any reasonable doubt, that Party B was incapacitated. Beyond that, it would require knowledge of conversation details that occurred most likely behind closed doors, coming back to the he-said-she-said. It would be next to impossible to get a conviction in a situation like this, because our legal system is designed to keep people from being convicted of crimes based on our own hindsight and feelings toward the victim.

When we remove our own passion from the situation, something our legal system is specifically designed to do, it becomes impossible to tell what really happened. The only way someone can definitively say rape occurred in such a case is by imposing feelings, thoughts, and above all intentions into the mind of Party A due to understandable sympathy for Party B.

It is our tendency to view such situations as "a rapist being let go." However, if the law fails to convict the accused, he/she is not a rapist in the eyes of the law. That is a separate judgment reached in the court of public opinion. To the law, this was a grave misunderstanding between two people due to the impaired judgment of both parties, or the impaired judgment of one and incomplete information made available to the other.

(Incidentally, this is why so many ad campaigns focus on preventing oneself from being in these compromising scenarios. Even in those cases where it is rape, a conviction is next to impossible... so clearly the better solution is for both sides to work toward avoiding any situations with so much ambiguity.)

Now, I know that's what you were getting at toward the end of your post. I agree completely. I was just hoping to frame the questions being raised in a dispassionate way, so that folks could understand what people seem to be asking and why. To me, it's just a thought experiment -- I avoid drinking with strangers for this exact reason (not rape, but the idea that trouble can occur when I'm not fully prepared to avoid/handle it) -- but I can understand how many would have trouble distancing themselves from the issue to view the considerations objectively.
 
Dec 16, 2009
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anthony87 said:
Mr Ink 5000 said:
Palademon said:
Also, how is consent while drunk not willful, but initiationg sex while drunk undefendable?
So it's a case of "You consented, it's not your fault you were drunk" whilst at the same time being "You initiated sex, being drunk isn't an excuse."

What the Hell?
yes this. WTF

It's like these people have never been in a club just to have fun and ended up pulling. There is no lurking in corners, waiting to rape. We dance we kiss we undress eachother back at her place. Consent enough in my book

I think this has all come from some spin off of the White Knight Syndrome
The women is a precious flower on a pedestal and any man who does anything ungentlemanly is evil
I think it's also safe to assume that most, if not all of the people claiming that we're now apparently racists have never had a drink before in their lives because they seem to be grossly overestimating the effects of 1 or 2 drinks.
oh no, I'm a racist too as well as a rapist. A racist rapist, what will my fiancee think of me

Sorry, couldn't resist the thought of having fun with your typo
 

anthony87

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Aug 13, 2009
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Mr Ink 5000 said:
anthony87 said:
Mr Ink 5000 said:
Palademon said:
Also, how is consent while drunk not willful, but initiationg sex while drunk undefendable?
So it's a case of "You consented, it's not your fault you were drunk" whilst at the same time being "You initiated sex, being drunk isn't an excuse."

What the Hell?
yes this. WTF

It's like these people have never been in a club just to have fun and ended up pulling. There is no lurking in corners, waiting to rape. We dance we kiss we undress eachother back at her place. Consent enough in my book

I think this has all come from some spin off of the White Knight Syndrome
The women is a precious flower on a pedestal and any man who does anything ungentlemanly is evil
I think it's also safe to assume that most, if not all of the people claiming that we're now apparently racists have never had a drink before in their lives because they seem to be grossly overestimating the effects of 1 or 2 drinks.
oh no, I'm a racist too as well as a rapist. A racist rapist, what will my fiancee think of me

Sorry, couldn't resist the thought of having fun with your typo
Ha! Didn't even see that there.
 

Aidinthel

Occasional Gentleman
Apr 3, 2010
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I've read over most of this thread and it seems to me that the real point of contention is this:

Is a drunk person responsible for the decisions they make while drunk?

Disclaimer: I don't know anything about the law. I cannot make legal judgements, only moral ones.

I would say that if you are drunk of your own free will then yes, you are absolutely responsible for anything you decide. If you decide to have sex then it isn't rape. If you decide to give someone money it isn't theft. If you decide to sign a contract it isn't fraud. If you don't want to make bad decisions then don't make decisions while drunk.

Note my use of the word "decide". A lot of people seem to be taking similar statements as meaning that it isn't possible to rape a drunk person or some such nonsense. I do believe that it is very important to obtain consent before sex, and that having nonconsensual sex with a drunk person is rape. I simply don't believe that being drunk removes the person's ability to give consent.

Basically, I don't think the person being drunk has any effect on the morality of the issue. (Assuming they made the original decision to get drunk of their own free will and no one spiked their drinks. If you have alcohol forced on you or are tricked into consuming something you didn't intend to that changes things.) If it is immoral to do with a sober person then it is immoral to do with a drunk person, but the reverse is true as well.

Yes, it would certainly be courteous to say "No, you're drunk, come back when you're sober" (and personally that's probably what I'd do because otherwise you're going to have a very awkward morning) but I'm not going to do anything more than roll my eyes at someone who accepts such an offer. It comes down to personal responsibility. As long as no one is being forced or tricked into anything, then each person is responsible for their own actions-regardless of what mental state they have put themselves in.
 

Kinguendo

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Apr 10, 2009
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ravensheart18 said:
Kinguendo said:
Whats with all the threads about rape recently? Its disturbing.
It's because in one thread it was pointed out that what some escapists did was rape and they got all freaked out and tried to defend their behavior so it just blossomed.
And these people call themselves nerds? What are they doing even talking to women? I cant* and I am a perfectly friendly non-rapist, doesnt exactly seem fair that they can talk with women and I cant.

I feel "allegedly" fits into that paragraph somewhere but I'll be damned if I am going to put off sleep for another second to find it.

* Not strictly true, I can... its whenever rejection enters the playing field I reject the possibility of rejection by not playing the game anymore. I figuratively and literally take my ball(s**) and go home.

** That needed to be said.
 

lordmardok

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Mar 25, 2010
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Holy. Shit. Seriously what is with all the rape threads? I'm honestly confused here given that no one on this forum is exactly qualified to provide a definitive be-all-end-all answer unless someone crowned them king/queen of the universe with unlimited legal authority while I wasn't looking. It's a discussion that has raged for quite a long time and somehow I highly doubt the answer is going to be determined on a bloody e-zine forum. People have different opinions all of which are equally invalid given that it's neither up to them nor permissible in a court of law.

It's not like I have an problem seeing serious issues discussed on forums but by god there have been way too many of these damn rape forums.

irishda said:
First point, this one is true. Intoxication has never been a defense ever. That goes for both parties, however, and one party will usually be seen as just "the one who got drunk" while the other would be "the one who took advantage of the other". It doesn't matter if the predator was drunk, then they just drunkenly took advantage of someone.

Second, the key word here is "willful". Legally, consent is seen as a contract between two people. Consent doesn't even have to be verbally expressed. It can be implied if one of the party's actions can be construed as willful agreement. But there's that word willful again. Willful implies a mental ability to weigh the consequences of an agreement. YOU CANNOT ENTER INTO AGREEMENTS (legally) WITH PEOPLE OF AN IMPAIRED MENTAL STATE BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT SEEN BY THE LAW AS BEING "WILLFUL". I really can't stress that enough. If you go to the judge and say, "It's ok, she said yes." He's gonna reply with "Did she know that? And did she know what she said yes to? Since she's charging you with rape, I'm gonna assume the answer to both of those is no."

Finally, if both parties are drunk, rape still has occurred. We've already established that drunk people are still responsible for their actions, but it's now much harder to tell which is the perpetrator. Generally, the rapist in situations of unlawful consent would be whoever initiated sexual contact, and it's now impossible to tell who is who without further evidence. One of the parties could technically bring charges against the other, but the defense will always be, "I couldn't have consented either."
This right here is bunk. Some of it may be true, other bits of it not so much. Either way however I've known courts that pass this stuff by and courts that crack down. It's not a cut and dried issue that gets the same result every time so get off your damn soapbox and do something productive.
 

chadachada123

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Jan 17, 2011
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If both parties are consenting at the time of sex, it should not be illegal. Period.

Exceptions are if it was forced (meaning consent was not obtained), if it was coerced/blackmailed (consent not obtained), if one person was drugged against their knowledge (consent not obtained), which are all illegal, regardless of intoxication, because of other laws we have.

I also think that society and our laws today are sexist against men, thinking that, if two drunk people have sex, it was the guy who is the rapist. I additionally feel that putting things such as "oh, he was *less drunk* than her, and therefore a rapist" is equally sexist. Many people are of the opinion that men essentially can't be raped in the same way as women, or that they can't be drugged/taken advantage of just as much as women can.

I see little difference between, say, a guy and a girl having sex but the girl being uncomfortable with it, but not objecting verbally, which is perfectly legal (barring exceptions), and a drunk guy and a drunk girl having sex but the girl being uncomfortable with it yet not objecting verbally, which some people would rather be illegal. If there is a verbal rejection, then it is rape through force/coercion/whatever, but if not, I see no reason why one person should be criminalized for acts that both (implied) consent for, especially if the other partner had no way of knowing "true" consent (like arriving at the party with the other already tanked).

IF a drunk man regretting sex with some ugly girl was treated with the same ferocity and legal punishments for the girl who came onto him as it is with the genders reversed, then I wouldn't be as fervent as I am right now.

I realize this doesn't answer OP's charge that drunk sex is illegal sex, but my argument is just that, regardless of if the act itself was illegal, both parties should be treated equally unless there is reason to believe that coercion/force/drugs were used.
 

veloper

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Jan 20, 2009
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Dreiko said:
Paradoxrifts said:
On the one side you have the people who identify with those people, predominately male who are falsely accused of rape because they had sex with an agreeable but mildly intoxicated sexual partner who waking up the next day with their crazy switch well and truly flipped have gained a new found quest to utterly ruin the person they just had sex with.

Could happen. Does happen. People can be vindictive little bastards. Probably not the likeliest of the two scenarios that I'm in the middle of positing but it could very well happen.

Now on the other side of the argument you have the people who identify with the rape victims who have the misfortune of meeting up with the wrong person, predominately male again, and being date raped by them. And if that wasn't enough to deal with right there, they also have to deal with a court system that must go through the motions of disproving their rapists lies about just how 'consensual' the sex was.

Could happen. Does happen. But probably just a 'pinch' more likely to happen than the first scenario I mentioned.
I think the difference of group B is that while they indeed are more likely to have this happen they also indirectly cause the problems of group A. Group A on the other hand does not promote men having sex with drunk women cause they're already afraid of being accused for rape anyways so why risk it.


The only people who are not included here are the actual rapists/date-rapists and that's the thing, while group B takes issue with group A's reaction to being unjustly accused of horrible acts they leave the actual bad guys go free.


Unless they truly believe everyone in group A is a faker rapist who wants to make excuses for himself or rape seem less horrible (and one would have to show why such feelings are justifiable, since, to me that sounds preposterous) they really should focus their efforts elsewhere.
That's a good and concise way to put it.
 

Sansha

There's a principle in business
Nov 16, 2008
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MassiveGeek said:
ravensheart18 said:
MassiveGeek said:
ravensheart18 said:
MassiveGeek said:
Rape is having sex with a person against their will, sometimes using means like force to do it as well. Correct?

Then I'd have to say that if you made the concious decision to get so pissed that you'd give consent to a stranger, that is not rape, because frankly, you've given consent.
That doesn't make any sense. You consented to get drunk (and that's stupid) but you did not consent to anything else. Once you are drunk I can take all your money too then right, since you consented? Beat you up? Slash your throat? What, you consented!
Read the post properly before throwing around accusations.

I said that if you're so pissed that you would give consent to a stranger that's on you, because it is. I didn't say being drunk automatically gave consent, or at least, that's not what I fucking meant and most people with half a brain would understand that no one would agree that being drunk automatically means you can use the person as much as you want.

Fucking hell.
Read what I said. You can't consent to anything when drunk. All that person did was consent to get drunk, they didn't and couldn't consent to anything else. In a good part of the world, and morally as well in my view, you are describing rape.
Of course you fucking can. You don't lose the ability to speak when you're drunk - if a drunk chick came onto a drunk guy or vice versa, and propositioned them for sex, if they then said yes, they have given their consent. It's that simple.
We can't fucking cosset every idiot out there, if you got drunk and said yes to having sex with someone and you did, then that's all there is to it. If you, or both people regret it afterwards, then boo-fucking-hoo, it happened. Tough. Deal with it.

And fucking hell, not everyone is a decent person, and if you put yourself in a very exploitable position(like getting pissed like a ************) then you have indeed put yourself in a very exploitable position and that is something you can be, and should be, held accountable for. You can't just fucking assume everyone will think rationally(especially not if everyone's a drunk ************) and always consider the consequences. It would be amazing if that was what happened, but it's not.
I don't know how you could possibly disagree with this.

Sauri Arabia had the right idea by making alcohol illegal.