The Escapists Cookbook

[Saltyk]

Hello, Escapists. I'm sure many of you have some excellent recipes that you love to cook for friends and family or even just yourself. So, I thought it would be cool if we shared some of our recipes with each other.

Of course, I'll start.

Spoiler: Chicken Rice

Chicken Rice

What do you need?
Rice
Chicken Broth
Salt
Butter

How do you make it?
First, you'll need to pour some chicken broth in a casserole dish. Personally, I prefer Swansons chicken broth. Depending on the size of the dish and the serving, you will need at least two cans.
Next, you should add some rice. If you can you should use the cans to measure your rice. Basically, just fill the can with rice and pour it into the broth. If you use two cans of broth you should use a little less than one and a half of rice (one and a quarter or one and a third). Don't worry, you don't really need to be precise with this.
Now, add a little butter, half a stick or less if you like, and some salt. I can't really give you an amount of salt, but do be careful or it will ruin the flavor of the rice. If you want a measure, I'd say a teaspoon or less of salt.
Finally, place the casserole dish in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. A lot of people find this weird, but trust me. Keep an eye on the rice, coming to check on it regularly. It seems to start off slow, but will be done before you know it. You'll know it's done when you no longer see any broth. This should take about a half hour to cook.

This is a very tasty side dish. It requires no gravy or other condiments to fully enjoy. I've had plenty of compliments from this one minor side. And it's one of my favorite sides, too.

Spoiler: Or if you would rather...

There's another variety you can try that my family calls Beef Rice. It's basically the same concept, but you use beef broth instead.

Now, I'm sure many of you are disappointed that I revealed a side dish, rather than a main dish. But I have one such meal in mind. In fact, it goes perfectly with the above side. However, I want to see some of your recipes before I reveal another family recipe to the interwebz. Is it good? Very good. So good that my Ex couldn't stop bragging about how good it is. I even made it for her mother and step-father who loved it.

 

[Count Igor]

Screw them, you deserve a post.
Frankly, my favourite thing to cook is brownies. And I have a knack for them. Do they count?
I pour a fair bit of self raising flour into a bowl, and enough sugar to make it look tasty, before adding an egg or two (Whatever I feel like), baking powder and about half a packet of butter. I mix it all together before adding coco powder and nuts/chocolate chips to give it a marble effect.
As you can see, they never turn out the same twice in a row, as I guess almost all the ingredients. Buuut, according to my friends, family and everyone who's ever bought them, they're the most delicious brownies ever. Might be because of the strained grin and the knife to their throat, but hey.
Sorry I can't be more informative, but I have like 10 seconds to run and catch a bus >.>

 

[Saltyk]

Screw them, you deserve a post.
Frankly, my favourite thing to cook is brownies. And I have a knack for them. Do they count?
I pour a fair bit of self raising flour into a bowl, and enough sugar to make it look tasty, before adding an egg or two (Whatever I feel like), baking powder and about half a packet of butter. I mix it all together before adding coco powder and nuts/chocolate chips to give it a marble effect.
As you can see, they never turn out the same twice in a row, as I guess almost all the ingredients. Buuut, according to my friends, family and everyone who's ever bought them, they're the most delicious brownies ever. Might be because of the strained grin and the knife to their throat, but hey.
Sorry I can't be more informative, but I have like 10 seconds to run and catch a bus >.>

Holy... Someone actually posted on this? I'm genuinely surprised. Especially since I literally just brought up how hard this thread failed in another completely unrelated thread. Lol

Sounds like you make brownies like I make liquor. Just pour as much as I want in the blender til I think it's right. People love my Dirty Monkeys. ;-)

Thank you for the post! And yes, brownies do count as a recipe.

 

[SadisticPretzel]

I'm not good at cooking...I'm one female you DON'T want in the kitchen. If it were possible to burn water, I would figure it out. =D

That said...I do have a suggestion to share. I don't think it counts as a recipe, though. Have you ever put cinnamon on grilled cheeses? Heaven on earth, people.

 

[Count Igor]

Screw them, you deserve a post.
Frankly, my favourite thing to cook is brownies. And I have a knack for them. Do they count?
I pour a fair bit of self raising flour into a bowl, and enough sugar to make it look tasty, before adding an egg or two (Whatever I feel like), baking powder and about half a packet of butter. I mix it all together before adding coco powder and nuts/chocolate chips to give it a marble effect.
As you can see, they never turn out the same twice in a row, as I guess almost all the ingredients. Buuut, according to my friends, family and everyone who's ever bought them, they're the most delicious brownies ever. Might be because of the strained grin and the knife to their throat, but hey.
Sorry I can't be more informative, but I have like 10 seconds to run and catch a bus >.>

Holy... Someone actually posted on this? I'm genuinely surprised. Especially since I literally just brought up how hard this thread failed in another completely unrelated thread. Lol

Sounds like you make brownies like I make liquor. Just pour as much as I want in the blender til I think it's right. People love my Dirty Monkeys. ;-)

Thank you for the post! And yes, brownies do count as a recipe.

Yes, I read your post so I searched for this thread. You deserve replies damnit! You've put far more work into your OP than most people do.
Now for my recipe on smoothies!
Grab fruit and put it in a blender.
Voila!

 

[SquadronAce]

Oreo Cheesecake.

You will need:
2 packets of Oreos
4 Table spoons of MELTED butter
1/2 cup sugar
3 tubs of cream cheese (250g each)
3 eggs
1/2 cup of cream
A 9 inch springform cake tin

All ingredients must be at room temp!!

First preheatoven to 375 dregess F

Make sure tin is well greased with cooking spray

BASE

Crush up one packet of oreos in a food proceser until crushed up good, then add the butter and blend in.
Cut some baking paper in a circle to match the bottom the cake tin then put the crushed oreos in the bottom and shimmy it to make the oreos spead out. then get a flat bottom glass and push down on the basetil its packed in tight then place in the fridge

FILLING

First blend all the cream cheese with the sugar. Then add the eggs one at a time. Make sure not to over mix, only mix until blended. Then add the cream.
After everything is mixed throw the last packet of oreos in the mix.

Pour the filling into the cake tin and shimmy and give it a tap it on the bench to get it smooth and any air bubbles out.

Bake for 30 - 45 mins. take the cheesecake out before the middle is cooked as it will continue cooking in tin after you take it out.

Heres one that I made
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1552130367381&set=a.1348576158653.2047941.1358793992

 

[GrimTuesday]

I like to make a pasta dish called fiery fettuccine

Spoiler: This makes a lot of food. I can feed three or four people with it

Spoiler: what you will need

two cans of roasted red peppers
ten spicy italian sausages
half a carton of cream (Half and half will work also)
Creole seasoning
pasta noodles of any kind (about a pound)

So what you want to do is put the suasage in frying pan with the burner set on medium. Cook them until they are mostly cooked then cut them up, put them back into the pan and finish cooking them.
cook the pasta if you just bought the dry stuff
in a blender blend the peppers with the cream/half and half until it is a nice pink color and there are no chunks of pepper floating in there. season with creole to taste and mix in with the fully cooked sausage (if you're eating pork sausage you can leave the grease in the pan and add the sauce to it, it makes it more spicy) Mix in the cooked pasta and enjoy

 

[Saltyk]

Screw them, you deserve a post.
Frankly, my favourite thing to cook is brownies. And I have a knack for them. Do they count?
I pour a fair bit of self raising flour into a bowl, and enough sugar to make it look tasty, before adding an egg or two (Whatever I feel like), baking powder and about half a packet of butter. I mix it all together before adding coco powder and nuts/chocolate chips to give it a marble effect.
As you can see, they never turn out the same twice in a row, as I guess almost all the ingredients. Buuut, according to my friends, family and everyone who's ever bought them, they're the most delicious brownies ever. Might be because of the strained grin and the knife to their throat, but hey.
Sorry I can't be more informative, but I have like 10 seconds to run and catch a bus >.>

Holy... Someone actually posted on this? I'm genuinely surprised. Especially since I literally just brought up how hard this thread failed in another completely unrelated thread. Lol

Sounds like you make brownies like I make liquor. Just pour as much as I want in the blender til I think it's right. People love my Dirty Monkeys. ;-)

Thank you for the post! And yes, brownies do count as a recipe.

Yes, I read your post so I searched for this thread. You deserve replies damnit! You've put far more work into your OP than most people do.
Now for my recipe on smoothies!
Grab fruit and put it in a blender.
Voila!

Lol. Well thank you. You might have just started this thread off to success. So thank you again.

 

[Hashime]

My food solution:
Step 1: Make rice
Step 2: Make a meat of some sort
Step 3: Cut up veggies or use frozen veggies
Step 4: Put all in pan, crack egg on top, cook on medium for about 5 minutes stirring constantly.
Step 5: Serve hot on plate.

Notes: I usually use about 1 and 1/2 cups of rice (uncooked), 2 eggs, and frozen veggies.
The meat can be anything, but bacon is always a food addition.
Adding sauce helps, I use either BBQ or soya.
This is a good way to use up leftover rice.

 

[Erana]

Ooooh.
I have a great Chicken 'n dumpling soup recipe, but I think my mother'd kill me if I were to share it. I don't want to go stealing recipes from my cookbooks...
I'm not much of a recipe-writer myself, though I am a decent cook.

Hrm. I know! If you're ever in dire need of a quick bit of cake, just mix one part nesquick with two parts self-rising flour. Add water depending on how moist you want the good to be, and stick it in the microwave for a minute or so. Just don't leave it unattended.
Also, if you want to put real chocolate in it, insert candy after its been microwaved for a melty chocolate center.
It doesn't really taste like a cake, but the texture and flavor is close enough that it can satisfy a craving. It has saved me from going and baking a real cake, and having that tempt me for days until I can find someone to give it to.

Also, pumpkin spice is amazing and can be added to almost any sweet drink or food for a taste reminiscent of a $7 coffee shop beverage.
It makes my chocolate milk even more amazing.

 

[PeePantz]

Hello, Escapists. I'm sure many of you have some excellent recipes that you love to cook for friends and family or even just yourself. So, I thought it would be cool if we shared some of our recipes with each other.

Of course, I'll start.

Spoiler: Chicken Rice

Chicken Rice

What do you need?
Rice
Chicken Broth
Salt
Butter

How do you make it?
First, you'll need to pour some chicken broth in a casserole dish. Personally, I prefer Swansons chicken broth. Depending on the size of the dish and the serving, you will need at least two cans.
Next, you should add some rice. If you can you should use the cans to measure your rice. Basically, just fill the can with rice and pour it into the broth. If you use two cans of broth you should use a little less than one and a half of rice (one and a quarter or one and a third). Don't worry, you don't really need to be precise with this.
Now, add a little butter, half a stick or less if you like, and some salt. I can't really give you an amount of salt, but do be careful or it will ruin the flavor of the rice. If you want a measure, I'd say a teaspoon or less of salt.
Finally, place the casserole dish in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. A lot of people find this weird, but trust me. Keep an eye on the rice, coming to check on it regularly. It seems to start off slow, but will be done before you know it. You'll know it's done when you no longer see any broth. This should take about a half hour to cook.

This is a very tasty side dish. It requires no gravy or other condiments to fully enjoy. I've had plenty of compliments from this one minor side. And it's one of my favorite sides, too.

Spoiler: Or if you would rather...

There's another variety you can try that my family calls Beef Rice. It's basically the same concept, but you use beef broth instead.

Now, I'm sure many of you are disappointed that I revealed a side dish, rather than a main dish. But I have one such meal in mind. In fact, it goes perfectly with the above side. However, I want to see some of your recipes before I reveal another family recipe to the interwebz. Is it good? Very good. So good that my Ex couldn't stop bragging about how good it is. I even made it for her mother and step-father who loved it.

You know, I read a response of yours about your thread dying without a single post and I said, "Fuck that. I'll support him, and I love cooking."

Anyways, I've been injured and have had a lot of time on my hands, so I decided to master fried chicken. Here's my recipe that I have devised:

Spoiler: Fried Chicken!

Either a whole chicken cut into parts, or the equivalent to it (drums, thighs, breasts)
1 quart Buttermilk
2 tbs paprika
2 tbs salt
few dashes of pepper
1 tbs garlic powder
1 tsp cayenne pepper
flour for dredging

For Brine:
Large pot filled w/ boiled water
1 cup salt
2 bay leaves
dash nutmeg
tbs garlic powder
tbs pepper
tsp cayenne pepper
tbs paprika
1/2 cup brown sugar
ice
2 freezer bags

Boil the water for the brine. Once boiling, add all the ingredients and stir until dissolved. Remove from heat and add ice until mixture has cooled down (i'll place it in fridge if the ice doesn't do the job quickly). Once, brine is cooled, place chicken into freezer bags and fill with brine. Place bags in large bowl (in case they open) and refrigerate for 10-12 hrs.

Remove chicken from bags and wash with water. After chicken is rinsed, place in a large bowl and fill with buttermilk. Place in refrigerator and keep 10-12 hrs.

Preheat oven for 350

Dump chicken from bowl into a strainer in the sink, and drain the milk. While chicken is draining, combine the rest of the ingredients except the flour and vegetable shortening into a small bowl. Once mixed, liberally season the chicken on both sides with spice mix (i usually put the chicken in a baking dish, it makes it easier). While applying the rub, heat the vegetable shortening in a large pan over medium high heat. Dredge chicken in the flour until well coated. Place chicken skin side down into pan and fry for 3-4 minutes on each side (or until golden brown). I like to place the chicken on a baking rack placed over a baking tray, if you don't have a wire rack, just use the tray. Put tray into oven and cook for about 30-50 minutes or until the center reaches about 170-175 degrees or until the chicken isn't pink in the middle. Remove chicken and let stand for about five minutes.

 

[dududf]

My cook book is currently at my grandmothers, as she is copying down her own recipes into it.

So I'll have to be lame, and just put down what I had for breakfast yesterday.

Get 4 eggs, a mixing bowl, some cinnamon, some vanilla extract, milk, normal sliced bread.

Crack open the eggs, and pour in about about 2/3 milk in relation to the eggs.

Now look at the mixing bowl, if you notice that it's too milky, meaning the yellow is severely tinged out, and you can't even really see it.

A good colour would be a a couple shades lighter then this

Add an egg/add more milk to achieve it.

Then pop in some cinnamon until you feel it's covered. Don't over due it, but you'll have to pour in as much as you feel like you'll need depending on personal preferences. Pour in 20-50 ml of Vanilla extract, stir that up.

Crank that temperature up, not too hot, but just the normal temperature, maybe higher as to what you'd cook your eggs at.

When temperature is achieved, wash those hands of yours, as things are gonna get a little bit messy. Grab a piece of bread,and press it's face into the mixing bowl, leave it there for 2-3 seconds, then flip it over. Soak it for 1 second, then drop it into the pan. Personal note here, I typically sprinkle a tiny bit of cinnamon on 1 face when it's in the pan, do so if you wish.

Repeat this process until the mixing bowl is empty.

Enjoy.

 

[Roamin11]

*GASPS and Runs off to get cook book*

Boy-yo let me tell ya, I'm starting with a favorite/nostalgic recipe of mine I call

Danielle and Justin's Ministroni soup!

Spoiler: Danielle and Justin's Ministroni soup

Ingredients
A few splashes of olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 large onion, chopped
2 stalks of celery, chopped
2 medium carrots, chopped
1 small can tomato paste
1 28 oz can diced tomatoes
8 cups chicken broth
4 cups water
1 cup shredded cabbage
Salt and pepper to taste
Dried basil, oregano, sage and thyme to taste
1 cup chopped parley
1 whole zucchini, sliced
1 cup frozen peas
1 cup red kidney beans
1 cup macaroni, uncooked

Peperation:


1. Heat olive oil in soup pot on medium low. Add garlic, onion, carrot and celery, sprinkle with salt. Sauté until onions are soft.
2. Add tomatoes, tomato paste, broth, water, cabbage, zucchini, peas and beans. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for about 30 minutes.
3. Add remaining ingredients except parsley, cook for about 10 to 12 more minutes to cook the pasta.

4. Add parsley a minute or two before serving just wait to wilt a little.

Justin's notes: Just less than half a teaspoon of each of the spices is good enough to make the soup taste well, but using your own mixture to how you deem tasty is okay too

Danielle's notes: The macironi makes good projectiles while soup takes forever too simmer!

Copypasta from my book!

 

[minarri]

Sadly since I live by myself with a minimal kitchen I don't do much real cooking. Though I once made an awesome curry-and-rice dish with breaded prosciutto and cheese, I don't have the recipe now.

So instead I'll write down my favorite dish from home.

Spoiler: Beef 'n onions

Beef 'n onions!

1/2 lb. flank steak
A few onions (I usually use yellow onions but any kind will do)

Marinade:
2 t. soy sauce
1/2 t. sugar
2 t. oil
2 t. cornstarch

Sauce:
1 1/2 T. soy sauce
1 T. dry sherry
1 T. cornstarch, dissolved in 1/2 cup water
2 t. sugar
2 t. sesame oil

Cut meat along the grain into 2-inch strips. Add marinade & refrigerate for at least 30 min.

Shred onions, cutting into length size pieces. Add garlic to taste (I usually add about 1 t. per 1/2 lb. of meat). Heat a wok and add 5 T. oil; cook onions & garlic until onions are translucent. Remove from heat & set aside.

Heat wok, add 3 T. oil, then add the meat and cook until only slightly pink. Add the onions. Give the sauce a big stir and pour into pan, stirring until sauce is smooth. Serve over rice.

 

[GrimTuesday]

Because I love bragging about how good my recipe for chocolate chip cookies is so much here you go

Spoiler

2cups softened butter
2 cup of brown sugar
1 ½ cups white sugar
3 tablespoons vanilla extract
3 eggs
6 cups flour
1 and a half teaspoon salt
1 and a half teaspoon baking soda
4 cups chocolate chips

Mix butter, with brown sugar and white sugar. Add vanilla and eggs. Beat for 4 minutes. Mix in salt, baking soda and flour mix till there is no visible flour. Roll into balls and placed on a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 250 degrees F for 18-22 minutes.
When you take them out they will look like they are still not cooked. Let them sit for ten minutes, they will become more firm.

Feel free to tell me how awesome I am.

I love this thread

 

[Leg End]

Quick food here:

My(Not so patented) Random Shit I Throw Together When My Fridge Is Nearly Empty

You will need:

Sandwich meats(Any kind will do, we are not making 5 star cuisine, we are making something better)
Cheeses(Again, any kind will do but the more the better)
Linear's Frying Pan of Doom(But a normal one will do)
Fire(Get a match)
SPAM
Corned Beef
OPTIONAL:
Chinese Takeout from Friday
Beef Jerky I have had in my room since last month(I am not even fucking kidding, it never goes stale)
Mustard
A1 Steak Sauce
Various Salts and Pepper
Whatever else you want.

1.Get Linear's Frying Pan.
2.Throw in cheese.
3.Fire.
4.Add Meats Into cheese.
5.Add more cheese.
6.Slice SPAM into dozens of bits.
7.Remove Corned Beef from can.
8.Add SPAM and Corned Beef to Cheesemeats.
9.Add any extra stuff you want, AKA whatever is left in your fridge.
10.Add more cheese to cover the top.
11.It now looks like an omelet.
12.Flip.
13.Repeat every minute for 4 minutes or until it begins sticking to Linear's pan.
14.Find plate(Or eat from pan)
15.Enjoy.


Yes, I am entirely fucking serious, I have done this before and IT IS ACTUALLY GOOD.

 

[Roamin11]

Small tip, check your ethic food isle in the grocery store... Rice noodles are awsome for stir frys of the sweet varity

 

[Naheal]

I'm not good at cooking...I'm one female you DON'T want in the kitchen. If it were possible to burn water, I would figure it out. =D

You and I should start a family at some point. Whomever would survive that match made in hell would be greater souls than anyone ever.

<-burnt water. It was amusing.

 

[thingymuwatsit]

I have a scrambled eggs recipe that I almost completely made at random, therefore, I cannot bother telling you my awesome secret cheese eggs recipe.

 

[thingymuwatsit]

Also, I can poach tofu. It was an accident, I was drunk and I don't remember, so don't ask me.