The funniest accidental misuse of words?

[razer17]

Well anyway she has a look at one of the candles the owner shows her, and she says with a straight face:
"Smells like incest."

I know someone who did the same thing. Except the awkwardness was worse because it was my sister. I just quickly said " I think you mean incense and walked away.

Also, at one point in a biology lesson, I answered a question, and instead of "organism" is said "orgasm" Which was quite funny

 

[Catchy Slogan]

A friend and I were talking about how he like the smell of matches just after being blown out. So I meant to say that I like the smel of burning wood. But instead said "I like wood" Naturally, He laughed his ass off.

 

[Littaly]

There's this very embarrassing misconception among younger Swedish kids and the word "cook" (the noun, not the verb)

Basically, "cook" is Swedish is "kock" (K pronounced like a C), and because the words are so similar, it's easy for children who haven't studied English for that long to confuse the Swedish word with the English one.

I think we were in third grade when our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we grew old. My friend wanted to be a cook, you figure the rest out...

 

[teh_n00b_root]

"Try our currys! You'll never get better!"

 

[Woodsey]

this mourning actually it was my friend and we were at his brother's house, we were talking about the superhero we would want to be (don't ask how we got there believe me!) I of course said Alex Mercer, my friend then "explains" 'Yeah he's the harbour of death'

epic /facepalm

The best bit of that is that you spelt morning wrong.

 

[Alex909]

A couple of weeks ago me and 3 of my friends were hanging out when this girl we know walks past. One of us goes over to say 'Hi' (he fancies himself as a ladies man). One of my friends gets really grumpy (he gets annoyed when his friends don't include him, it's like he needs us for life-support). I go to say "He has more friends than just you" but ended up saying "He has more friends than you".
He called me a to**er and didn't speak to me for a week

 

[Akai Shizuku]

Once I was playing Dead or Alive 3 with my sister and I hit her when she wasn't looking or something. I had pretzels in my mouth, but I wanted to be fair, so I said "Go on, take a free hit". The pretzels, however, made it sound like "Go on, take a free shit."

My dad was laughing for hours.

Also, I could bring up a whole list of Bush quotes.

 

[Brownie101]

Ohh... The Mixups!
I was trying to tell my friends about the idiom:
"A Bird in the Hand is worth 2 in the bush."
I messed up and said:
"A Hand in the Bird is worth 2 in the bush."

 

[oppp7]

Some girl in my class was going to ask a question about something a few years ago. She asked, "Can we talk about *subject*." Unfortunately, she slipped up and instead said, "Can we talk about my period?" Very, very awkward. The whole class heard it.
Edit: also, for the sole reason that someone had to say it: All your base are belong to us.

 

[iron codpiece]

When I asked my 3rd graders if any of them know what symmetry is one responded,
"That's where they bury dead people."

Some of her classmates agreed.

 

[Treblaine]

Spoonerisms [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism]

 

[Soxafloppin]

I was watching formula 1 a few weeks ago, and the commentator said 'look at Button beating off Hamilton in the first corner'... I was with my grandad, tried not to laugh. It didn't work. Awkward.

 

[DrunkWithPower]

If I'm thinking right, didn't G.W. Bush say "Incineration" instead of "Incarceration"? That tickles me in just the right way.

 

[hazabaza1]

Not exactly a misuse, when when my science teacher wrote 'a disease causing organism' he said out loud "don't want to mis-spell it. That'd be a pretty weird disease."

I was the only one who noticed and laughed. Now he thinks I have a dirty mind.

 

[infernovolver]

From the Fan fic My Immortal:

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!!!!" Snape ejaculated menacingly.

 

[LukeUK90]

"Has anyone really been as far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/has-anyone-really-been-far-as-decided-to-use-even-go-want-to-do-look-more-like

 

[Stillve]

I have heard people messup and use the word "orgasm" when they meant "organism". I can't remember the exact context though.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/466650 I bet you do now.
If not, enjoy spacing out watching the thing.

 

[Jerious1154]

When we were talking about a story we had read in Spanish class, my teacher wanted to say that the main character was a "wuss" but got confused and called him a "pussy".

 

[mannaroth]

I was also reading a thread on the Escapist once, and the title contained the phrase: "misusage of words" instead of "misuse of words"! It was so funny!

Oh my that was hilarious hahahaha.