The funny truth about raised terrorist alert as of late! Satire story!

[dududf]

Canadians have raised their terrorism level from "To bad for America" to the "Ugh... Send in the snipers."

Only once before has Canada's threat level of "OH SHIT, ARM THE BEAVERS!" ever been used. The event that occurred is still classified [sub]Unless you ask nicely.[/sub]

You forgot about 'Unleash the RCMP', which is typically only done when tourists of unclear Eastern European descent are abandoned and ignored in major Canadian airports. It also occurs when North American Indian groups set up blockades in response to large corporations deciding that the 3rd-rate land we gave them might actually be worth something, after all.

Is there a particular reason you've stated this, or are you trying to say some thing.

Merely pointing out that you forgot about the 'Oka Crisis', and the RCMP tasering of a Polish traveller in the Vancouver International Airport in October, 2007.

And how does this involve my post?

 

[Azure-Supernova]

Wales are still trying to figure out what Uncle Brynn was talking about.

"Owain Hughes, does he what?"

 

[dududf]

Canadians have raised their terrorism level from "To bad for America" to the "Ugh... Send in the snipers."

Only once before has Canada's threat level of "OH SHIT, ARM THE BEAVERS!" ever been used. The event that occurred is still classified [sub]Unless you ask nicely.[/sub]

You forgot about 'Unleash the RCMP', which is typically only done when tourists of unclear Eastern European descent are abandoned and ignored in major Canadian airports. It also occurs when North American Indian groups set up blockades in response to large corporations deciding that the 3rd-rate land we gave them might actually be worth something, after all.

Is there a particular reason you've stated this, or are you trying to say some thing.

Merely pointing out that you forgot about the 'Oka Crisis', and the RCMP tasering of a Polish traveller in the Vancouver International Airport in October, 2007.

Oi I asked a question, if you feel so damn compelled about pointing out faults in my country out of context then you best give an answer. Other wise you can fuck right off.

If you want to have a proper discussion about imperfections of Governments, and systems go right ahead. But put it in the right context, other wise you just looks like a troll.

 

[LuntiX]

Canadians have raised their terrorism level from "To bad for America" to the "Ugh... Send in the snipers."

Only once before has Canada's threat level of "OH SHIT, ARM THE BEAVERS!" ever been used. The event that occurred is still classified [sub]Unless you ask nicely.[/sub]

1812 when we burned down the white house

 

[dududf]

Canadians have raised their terrorism level from "To bad for America" to the "Ugh... Send in the snipers."

Only once before has Canada's threat level of "OH SHIT, ARM THE BEAVERS!" ever been used. The event that occurred is still classified [sub]Unless you ask nicely.[/sub]

1812 when we burned down the white house

Hee hee, I remember a funny song about that... lemme see if I can scrounge it up two seconds...

*Edit

Found it, funny as hell. Not completely true, because if memory serves me right it actually happened AFTER the war actually ended. Some thing with lack of information and such.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

Canadians have raised their terrorism level from "To bad for America" to the "Ugh... Send in the snipers."

Only once before has Canada's threat level of "OH SHIT, ARM THE BEAVERS!" ever been used. The event that occurred is still classified [sub]Unless you ask nicely.[/sub]

Isn't the last alert level "beaver riding hockey players"? Now THAT would be frightening to behold on a battlefield.

Romanian has gone from "Armies aren't that important" to "OH MY GOSH, SOMEONE ACTUALLY CAME TO THE RECRUITMENT CENTER!"

 

[ad5x5]

The Scots have a secret force from Glasgow with a level above "Let's get the bastards!".

This level is only known as "Stitch tha' Jimmy!" and is only used in extreme situations such as 'impending apocalypse' or 'Friday night outside Wetherspoons'

 

[dududf]

Canadians have raised their terrorism level from "To bad for America" to the "Ugh... Send in the snipers."

Only once before has Canada's threat level of "OH SHIT, ARM THE BEAVERS!" ever been used. The event that occurred is still classified [sub]Unless you ask nicely.[/sub]

Isn't the last alert level "beaver riding hockey players"? Now THAT would be frightening to behold on a battlefield.

Romanian has gone from "Armies aren't that important" to "OH MY GOSH, SOMEONE ACTUALLY CAME TO THE RECRUITMENT CENTER!"

No sadlly. The Beavers get a little nippish...

Which is why when we call the final alert, we keep our human troops a couple kilometres away from the beavers... Vicious bastards.

Peaceful little rodents my ass... those bastards decapitate by the dozens.

Frodo was lucky, and he didn't face the secret Beaver army... if he did... oh my.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

No sadlly. The Beavers get a little nippish...

Which is why when we call the final alert, we keep our human troops a couple kilometres away from the beavers... Vicious bastards.

Peaceful little rodents my ass... those bastards decapitate by the dozens.

Frodo was lucky, and he didn't face the secret Beaver army... if he did... oh my.

So, there's no 2nd Battalion Beaver Riding Hockey Squad?

 

[dududf]

No sadlly. The Beavers get a little nippish...

Which is why when we call the final alert, we keep our human troops a couple kilometres away from the beavers... Vicious bastards.

Peaceful little rodents my ass... those bastards decapitate by the dozens.

Frodo was lucky, and he didn't face the secret Beaver army... if he did... oh my.

So, there's no 2nd Battalion Beaver Riding Hockey Squad?

No.

But we do have the Royal Beaver airborne.

Deadly stuff.

 

[Dahni]

scotland has another level just above "lets get the bastards" called
"SEND IN THE YOUNG TEAMS AND THE FLEEEETO".

 

[Aerodyamic]

Oi I asked a question, if you feel so damn compelled about pointing out faults in my country out of context then you best give an answer. Other wise you can fuck right off.

If you want to have a proper discussion about imperfections of Governments, and systems go right ahead. But put it in the right context, other wise you just looks like a troll.

I'm Canadian, so I'm hardly pointing out faults in YOUR COUNTRY, out of context or otherwise.

Also, I was merely following the theme elsewhere in the thread, where other posters have highlighted the full variety of threat levels. Perhaps you read the opening post, where multiple threat levels of several countries were listed?

For instance:

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability..."

Orrrrrr.....

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!,? "I think we'll need to cancel
the barbie this weekend," and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has
ever warranted use of the final escalation level.


- Post your response or additions

Does the bold, italicized and underlined bit seem relevant, now? And for your information, the reason I didn't immediately reply to your response was because I WAS WRAPPING UP MORTGAGE NEGOTIATIONS. I figured completing the process of buying my first house was somewhat more relevant than responding to you with any semblance of alacrity. Did you have anything else you'd like to piss and whinge about?

 

[SimuLord]

US terror alert level has been raised from "Make bellicose speeches" to "Invade country that can't fight back." The next level up is "Start unpopular military quagmire", but after that, there's only one step left: "Nuke Japan."

 

[Revolutionary]

Australia has raised its alert level from "were with U.S" to "were with you guys"
And from "minor token gesture arse kissing" to "serious face protect freedom arse kissing"

 

[dududf]

Oi I asked a question, if you feel so damn compelled about pointing out faults in my country out of context then you best give an answer. Other wise you can fuck right off.

If you want to have a proper discussion about imperfections of Governments, and systems go right ahead. But put it in the right context, other wise you just looks like a troll.

I'm Canadian, so I'm hardly pointing out faults in YOUR COUNTRY, out of context or otherwise.

Also, I was merely following the theme elsewhere in the thread, where other posters have highlighted the full variety of threat levels. Perhaps you read the opening post, where multiple threat levels of several countries were listed?

You're alternate account says other wise.



This is for satire, and you're talking about screw ups in the country, from which should not be joked about I don't see how a man being tazered to death is funny. Completely and utterly off topic, have a look every where else in the thread, and it's easy to see that "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG."

Lets leave it at that. If you want to continue whether you were off topic or not PM me. In my eyes though, you were trying to be a jerk. I'd like to see to see you disprove me of that. (No seriously, grudges are annoying as hell. I like to be disproved that you were trolling me.)

 

[Claymorez]

Look guys this thread is purely for the lols and making it funny - I am English and I took the piss out of my own country here - it is meant to be taken as satire/joke so please no fighting just post funny add ons, speaking of which:

Sweden has yet to, in it entire history, lower its warning level from "Norway has tree cutting capability, be on the watch for ents".

Zimbadwai has raised its terror alert to, "We have a trustworthy leader" from "We love kittens", Only two other levels exist above the current, "Mugabi won Wimbledon" and "demanding a recount of failures"

 

[ottenni]

I'm telling you now, the barbie will never be cancelled. NEVER!

 

[huckleberryhound]

 

[Claymorez]

I'm telling you now, the barbie will never be cancelled. NEVER!

Australia has just gone from "I think we'll need to cancel
the barbie this weekend" to "we will have to reschedule the barbie"