Approximately 9,500 miles from England to Australia. I went there for a holiday, but stayed a lot longer because it was just so nice. Everything's a lot more spread out than in the UK, which was a little frustrating because I didn't have a car.
Seeing a massage-parlor in a mall was a bit of an oddity, but it made so much sense: you go in, pay for a massage and spend ten to fifteen minutes dazedly falling into the most blissful euphoria as a young asian man caresses your muscles in ways that make you sigh contentedly and groan with pleasure. Oh, how I needed that. In fact, I could do with one right now, but there don't seem to be any such places where I currently live (back) in England!
I was living in a cottage out in wine country and there were forest fires ripping through the nation fast enough that even if I'd been warned, I'd have been unable to escape before getting swamped by giant, raging walls of flame cutting through the countryside as the wind dragged it about like a plastic bag. It was so dry! The ants were not very accommodating, but the wine was delicious and red and lovely. I wish I'd bought more. Saw a dead kangaroo in the road. Plenty of sex, sun and booze. Lovely.
Before that, my other favorite trip was a short but sweet trip to Toronto in Canada. It was February, and even though it was cold, it was a very dry and manageable cold, if that makes sense? Here in the UK the wind carries so much moisture that it quickly robs you of any warmth you may possess, cutting into your fingers and ears and turning them numb; you rush home and fumble with the key in the lock to get into your bathroom and lower them into a basin of hot water, sighing out loud as the heat funnels into your fingers and you can move them again.
We hopped into a taxi and visited the CN Tower, with its super-fast elevator shooting right up to the top, where we could see the whole city (it's quite a big place) and we kissed on the balcony in high winds, then rushed back inside to kiss where it was warm. We were all cute and naive, d'aw! I'm not sure if there were other people about.
The train to Niagara Falls pushed its way through an endless white sheet, covered with more and more snow by the second; it was beautiful. Snow all around, right up to the horizon in every direction. Back in the city, it was a little icy, but stepping into one of the many large malls meant you were basically stepping in front of a giant hair-dryer, ready to brush all of that icy wetness right off you and leave you snug and cozy to look about the shops.
I stopped in China on the way back from Australia, but that was just a single flight and I stayed in the airport. Looking out the window, I saw an ocean of concrete, as far as the eye could see. A giant grey square plane covered in aeroplanes. The toilets were quite interesting: rounded troughs in the floor, suggesting that the proper directions for their usage involved squatting over them rather than sitting. It makes sense when you think about it: you don't have to let your precious bum touch any germy seats!
Travel is great. It's empowering: you're a new man in a new city, the master of your own destiny, with endless possibilities stretching out before you, beckoning you to start an adventure. Then you end up catching a stomach virus and spending four days on the toilet, swearing at the heavens.
I'm sorry it's such a long post again. I thought I'd forgotten all of this stuff, but it seems not. I've not been out of the country for a couple of years and I regret that. This place is just cold, dark and rusty. But no one I know could afford it.
Any of you ever try geohashing? It was mentioned on XKCD once or twice as a game you play with GPS, "using random numbers to generate latitude and longitude coordinates. The process of generating the random coordinates is called Geohashing. These coordinates serve as a basis for adventure, not unlike throwing a dart on a map and then trying to reach that location."
Anyone here ever feel a bond with a country that wasn't their country of birth? You travel and realize that you'd rather live there than where you came from? Heh.