The Greatest Puns of All Time
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Every single one of you is going to die a slow, horrible, painful death and suffer for eternity in the deepest trenches of hell.
Oh, you. That got a good chuckle out of me.Radoh said:
Too...many...WORDS! I'm going to read that, and if there isn't a pun so hilarious it melts my face off by the end I'm going to hurt you.OutcastBOS said:
Edit: I read it. It wasn't worth it. You need to get a life. But then again you know what they say, never bring a life to a pun fight
OT:"Well... I had an Uncle Richard that tried to bring nude theater to a festival in Waterdeep... Exposure is usually good for an actor's career, but even so, a cold reception for the play caused the cast to shrink steadily. Blackballed, my uncle tried to recruit from the thieves' guild, but they wouldn't let their nick-ers go. 'Just bare with me,' he would say, but they were afraid of being stripped of their dignity. He gave up the lead to attract new members, and eventually the production's genius was uncovered, even with his part left out."
I'm in America and I pronounced it Leave-er. Also I did not find it to be very punny.BringBackBuck said:
I make lame chemistry puns because all the good ones argon.
What do we do to dead chemists? Barium.
What do we do to dead chemists? Barium.
I used to have a Phil Collins obsession, but take a look at me now.
Is Lenin's grave a communist plot?
Kim Jong Il has taken a job in Korea Guidance.
My Buddhist friend went to get a pizza. He went in and asked them to make him one with everything, but he only had a note. It's ok, said the pizza delivery guy, because change can only come from within.
He also went to the dentist, where he refused ether or Novocain, because he wanted to transcend dental medication.
I had to walk out of the annual meeting of Chess players, because they were all talking about their latest victories in the main hall. I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
A toothless termite walks into a pub and asks "Is the bar tender here?"
An Arabian Teacher was arrested at East Midlands Airport today while trying to bring a sword cane, with a calculator in the pommel, through customs. It's reported that he knew of the dangers of a weapon of maths instruction.
I always wondered why frisbees make a louder sound as they come closer. And then it hit me.
Two silk worms had a race. It ended in a tie.
Give management an inch and they'll think they're a ruler.
Time flies like an shot. Fruit flies like a banana.
Prison walls are never built to scale.
Is Lenin's grave a communist plot?
Kim Jong Il has taken a job in Korea Guidance.
My Buddhist friend went to get a pizza. He went in and asked them to make him one with everything, but he only had a note. It's ok, said the pizza delivery guy, because change can only come from within.
He also went to the dentist, where he refused ether or Novocain, because he wanted to transcend dental medication.
I had to walk out of the annual meeting of Chess players, because they were all talking about their latest victories in the main hall. I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
A toothless termite walks into a pub and asks "Is the bar tender here?"
An Arabian Teacher was arrested at East Midlands Airport today while trying to bring a sword cane, with a calculator in the pommel, through customs. It's reported that he knew of the dangers of a weapon of maths instruction.
I always wondered why frisbees make a louder sound as they come closer. And then it hit me.
Two silk worms had a race. It ended in a tie.
Give management an inch and they'll think they're a ruler.
Time flies like an shot. Fruit flies like a banana.
Prison walls are never built to scale.
Our chemistry teacher, Sten, is a treehugger, he always tells us to be in zinc with nature. I think he's sometimes high in class, because he asks dumb questions. This one time he asked: " What's this thing in my mouth?" and I answered: It's your tongue, Sten."martin said:
There was once an eminent chemist,Ddgafd said:
Alas he is no more,
Coz what he thought was H2O,
Was H2SO4.
