The Guy above me is a troll because...

[Barbas]

For donking the wrong chimney stack.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For... Moustache moustache moustache moustache.

 

[Barbas]

Insufficient sideburns.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For moustaches!

 

[Barbas]

For weebling, you weeb!

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For melons!

 

[Barbas]

For attempting to hijack the cheese roll patrol.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For not giving me more cheese!

 

[Barbas]

For making unrealistic dairy-related demands.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For not indulging my unrealistic diary-related expectations!

 

[Barbas]

Failure to understand logistical complexities.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For not listing the complexities and getting around them with the rest of the minions.

 

[Barbas]

For briefly interrupting That Guy With The Glasses.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For stealing a gnome's auri culci!

 

[Barbas]

For smelling of Turkish Delight. I hate Turkish Delight!

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For overloading the cake with bananas!

 

[Barbas]

She keeps staring at me from out of the corner of my eye, damn it! Stop that! *Throws magazines*.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For throwing magazines at me! *throws them back*

 

[Barbas]

For disrespecting Pravda!

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For not realizing my glasses are Prada!

I wear contacts most of the time, though...