Everyone else shopping in the Grocery store who isn't me.
Please do not walk in the middle of the fucking road in the parking lot, this is simple pre-school shit. Just stay off to the right, close to the parked cars and you should be fine.
Do not casually stroll while holding hands with your whole family so as to create the stupidest game of "Red Rover" ever. Just trust me on this, the cars will win.
There are two sets of doors, clearly marked exit and entrance. Using the proper doors avoids uncomfortable bottlenecks and awkward maneuvering of cumbersome shopping carts.
It's not that hard to tell which is which you mouth breathing, slack jawed idiots.
Just like in the parking lot, please stay to your right so that people can pass you and you aren't taking up the whole damned isle.
When you do stop, please try to do so either between display stands or pull off to the right.
Be wary of those around you when stopped, they may need to get by or look at items which you are currently blocking.
Should this be a case politely move your ass.
Should you come across another shopper who is blocking your path saying "Pardon me" is not a sign of weakness, nor is it a challenge to mortal combat. Saying it when you need to squeeze by will allow them to know that their attention is temporarily needed so that they may move aside. There is nothing to fear, they will not tear out your heart and consume it to gain your strength.
I applaud frugality, and the use of coupons is a great way to save money. To this end, kindly clip the god damned things before you come to the store and know which coupons you have. This will avoid making everyone in line behind you wait while you shuffle through your stupid little coupon wallet looking for the coupon you "could have sworn" you brought with you.
Please use the shopping cart deposit racks provided in the parking lot, this frees up parking spots and lets other people know you aren't a completely self centered asshole.
