The hell is wrong with me? Please read.

[pliusmannn]

you are seeking attension aren't you? and for the answer, yes, it's lack of sleep, yes changing job will help and yes sleep is important, before shitstorm i am a student of that manner and i know that sleep will help

 

[DVS Storm]

That sounds tough man. I know that too well because I sometimes get feelings like that. I think you are just being a little unsure and paranoid. I personally haven't worked night-shifts but I've heard(and studied a bit) what the lack of sleep does to people. Try to get some sleep, see a councilor of some sort or just be alone for a while(being alone may sound a bad idea right now but at least it works for me). You're just being human.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

man, i used to work the graveyard shift, it was rough, it messes with you. esspecialy on you're days off when you're up and everyone you know is asleep. it gets really lonely. but after acouple weeks my body adjusted to the shift and things got alittle better, no more random bouts of self-loathing, but the isolation was still a bit hard to cope with.

Wait, so on your days off were you up in the night? cause I'm up in the day time right now, I'm trying to make the sleeping pattern that my girlfriend gave to me work but i don't know, I feel like I should be staying up on my days off like I do on my work days (nights) but I can't seem to be able to

 

[Redingold]

Go do some exercise. It's as least as effective at treating depression as anti-depression drugs.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

Are you getting enough sleep and eating decently?
Some people are very sensitive to these sorts of things, and are a wreck if they don't take care of themselves.

Also, this "I'm so fucked up" mantra you've got going on is a problem here. You aren't broken, you aren't messed up. You've been living how you've been going, and the world hasn't ended, has it? You're never going to be perfect, and that's perfectly alright.
There's no immediate danger here; things will turn out fine and you have plenty of time to learn what you need to know to be a competent employee.

Now go baby yourself a little! Curl up with one of your favorite books and have some hot chocolate. Put on some nice music and cozy up with a comfy throw or take a nice bath. Make your primary goal right now just to calm down. And Don't let yourself get into this "I'm not worthy" nonsense.

Well I'm not in a fucked up mantra but I just want to know how to fix this, so I don't get thoughts like I'm having now, I don't like it, I want them to stop and I don't want to feel alone or like I said how I wanted to stay at my girlfriends and always want someone around me, I want that to stop, I want to go back to how I was before I got this job

 

[silent-treatment]

As someone who has had a night position, which has since turned into a early morning position, it is more then likely a combination of sleep deprivation (which is a real ***** for the first couple of weeks/months) and really the age that you are at. Late teens early twenties are a *****, life is confusing, college/finding something to do with your self sucks. Depression is a normal, very much so human, way of dealing with things.
Now if you start to get suicidal, then you have an issue. If it isn't to that point, though, I say hang with your GF more if she calms you down, listen to music, find something that clams you down. Just don't get so caught up in calming your self down that you forget to move on with life...not that I take my own advice very well, but hey.

 

[chainer1216]

man, i used to work the graveyard shift, it was rough, it messes with you. esspecialy on you're days off when you're up and everyone you know is asleep. it gets really lonely. but after acouple weeks my body adjusted to the shift and things got alittle better, no more random bouts of self-loathing, but the isolation was still a bit hard to cope with.

Wait, so on your days off were you up in the night? cause I'm up in the day time right now, I'm trying to make the sleeping pattern that my girlfriend gave to me work but i don't know, I feel like I should be staying up on my days off like I do on my work days (nights) but I can't seem to be able to

yeah, in order to let you're body adjust to the new hours you need to keep to those hours. my hours were 11PM-7am so what i did was i'd sleep in the morning, right when i got home from work, so i'd wake up in the 3-5 area, and i'd talk to friends in the remaining time till work, and on the weekends, most people stay up alot later than they would normally, so i'd have plenty of time to hang out with them then. when they went to sleep i'd just go home and amuse myself with video games or books or the internet.

also: dont be afraid of napping, people who have normal hours might think you're just being lazy, but a good 2 hour nap can do wonders for people who work the graveyard shift.

 

[Ham_authority95]

Some of you might remember me from my post about my new night shift job so this might be a cause of it.

Anyways, I'll just post what I messaged to a friend.

"I've been really depressed all day, I shouldn't be, my life is good, maybe it's my new job, I work back shift at the super store, I hear sleep deprivation can cause depression or at least lots of stress.

like today when I was at my girlfriends place I wanted to cry and I have no idea why, I guess I thought that I wouldn't be able to keep the job and there might be another possible job offer at Payless shoe source and I was thinking if I got a job there I wouldn't keep it, I kept thinking of my future and how I wouldn't really have one cause I wouldn't be able to keep the job(s)
I don't usually think about that stuff, working back shift is really hard.

and when I was leaving my girlfriends house I didn't wanna leave, I wanted to stay there with her (i mean I could have but I would have been lonely cause she had to go to bed)


yeah but like even now I wish she was awake so she could text me and I wouldn't be alone, I mean you're here but I can't explain it, i haven't been this way since I didn't want my friend joey going home so very long ago
I think my problem is that I really want someone to touch and hold right now, someone I can talk to, its probably why I still sleep with my stuffed mickey mouse so it feels like im holding someone as I go to sleep

i know i'll see her again but its like I can't wait, like I need them here now and always around me, maybe my adhd is acting up again, who knows

and even though i've only done two shifts so far, I feel like they'll fire me (not that i'd mind that too much) because I'm not as fast as the other people, and whenever I go in before a shift at least for this next one I always think I wont do good or something bad will happen like I fall asleep or I just give up, fuck I don't know whats wrong with me, i just want someone to hold me and to stroke
stroke my hair and say it will be okay
when my girlfriend was holding me I wanted to cry but decided not to.....I wish I wasn't so fucked up"


TLDR: Basically after my last shift I felt really depressed and stressed out, when I went to my girlfriends place I felt like I wanted to cry in her lap but decided not to, (it would have been hard to stop) and when she was going to bed I really wanted to stay but I would have been lonely cause she had to go to bed, it's like i needed her there with me, like all the time, to hold her or for her to hold me, you should just skim the post to know.

I don't know what it is but I haven't been like this since I was a kid when I didn't want to go home or for a friend to leave my place, I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

You should PM a mod to get this thread moved to the Advice forum. You'll find a lot more mature responses there.

OT: It may just be your fucked up sleep schedule. Once your body resets its clock to this new schedule, you'll get used to it.

If not, another possibility is that you're not letting yourself have an emotional outlet. First of all, let yourself cry. Let it all out. Preferably in the presence of your girlfriend and/or any emotionally support person.

Now that you've cried, do you still feel depressed? If so, find some friends, not only your girlfriend, to confide in. If you don't have many friends, go to a social event/activity you enjoy to meet other people.

You could also just keep yourself really busy so you forget about your sadness.

I'm feeling something similar right now. New work schedule, more tired, can't see girlfriend, etc etc. What I try to do is force myself to do something or to hang out with someone.

Also, why can't you just sleep with your girlfriend? It wouldn't need to be sexual, just someone to cuddle...

 

[spacewalker]

taking a few guesses at things that may cause anxiety.
colourles or depressing enviroments, very subjective but you could possibly feel a bit better doing some ligth decorating, like getting a picture or something. Dont really know what kind of an enviroment you live in.
Anxiety can be caused by having debts, personally i like the idea of being debt free.
otherwise i would suggest tea or occasional vitamin suppliments.
work enviroment is definetly a large factor, it can have both positive or negative effects.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

You're human. Thats what. Besides...happy people are not natural. A stand up comedian said it best.."Maybe its the happy people that are messed up"

How so? I don't agree. The kind of plastic happiness some people have by just throwing money and plastic surgery at everything, that's messed up. Not just weighing good and bad stuff together and coming out positive

And OP, ever considered it's because of the night shift? Being tired does some pretty horrible stuff sometimes, and even moreso when you have a glorified jetlag

Ok, fine. I guess naive and uninformed people are not really messed up. But the world sucks and is full of bad things. Anyone who is happy is either insane, or ignorant. (Not neccesarily the offensive kind)

Or they choose to not let the negative parts of life ruin the good in their life.

I understand that I'm not going to change your view, I can also respect your view, I'm just trying to explain to you why some people are happy and not messed up.

OT: Don't worry man, it'll all work out. I know it seems like it won't but just hang in there.

I remember when I was working night shifts, it was bloody hard to deal with anything, luckily I had just moved back into my dad's place at the time, so I didn't have too much to worry about other than learning to do my new job. I would suggest that you focus on how to sleep properly (a solid sleep pattern is always positive) then start working your social and physical needs in and everything should fall in to place.

As far as the loneliness goes... is there a mate or sibling/cousin/other family member that you can talk to and cry with and not worry about anything with? If so I suggest buying a case/pack of beer or what ever, going around and just talking to them. Let it all out, and see what they think.

Chances are that they know you and will end up saying something similar to what you've been told here, worry about one thing at a time and it'll sort it's self out. Just work on it all separately.

My shifts are 10 to 6 in the morning, what do you think is a good sleeping pattern for that? I can't think of any, anything you could suggest would help

 

[Quiet Stranger]

As someone who has had a night position, which has since turned into a early morning position, it is more then likely a combination of sleep deprivation (which is a real ***** for the first couple of weeks/months) and really the age that you are at. Late teens early twenties are a *****, life is confusing, college/finding something to do with your self sucks. Depression is a normal, very much so human, way of dealing with things.
Now if you start to get suicidal, then you have an issue. If it isn't to that point, though, I say hang with your GF more if she calms you down, listen to music, find something that clams you down. Just don't get so caught up in calming your self down that you forget to move on with life...not that I take my own advice very well, but hey.

Yeah hanging with my GF helps but when I have to leave it hurts, like I don't want to leave (ever, it's like I want her to stay with me always) and I have to force myself a little bit to leave

 

[tthor]

snip~

have you been getting much natural sunlight?
Sunlight causes the production of vitamin D in the body, which in short makes your brain feel happy. I know that if I don't get much light for a time, i may start getting really depressed,
if nothing else, buy a lamp and a UV lightbulb for your desk, in place of natural light (just try not to get a tan~). a bit of light does a surprising lot of good

 

[dmase]

Any job is going to have a learning curve and fears that you can't perform. If I remember correctly your a gas station attendant, your have a low priority job that you haven't been training for, I doubt your bosses expect you to be as good as everyone else immediately.

If you do take the job at payless you have to understand your still gonna have to work a register and stock shelves. Right now you have a late shift with no one checking up on you till the morning so you can mess up a little as long as its small things. Your going to inconvenience the low amount of people that come by at night payless is going to be during the day with more people. If you feel pressured now you will feel more pressured to succeed there.

I think your feeling needy because you are working a lonely, at night, dangerous job. I think thats for some people not everyone or its something you get used to like a kid staying at home by himself for the first few weeks. You have to become comfortable with your surroundings. You really need to drive that fact home if you do stay at the gas station, that your feeling bad because of your surroundings not because of you.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

Some of you might remember me from my post about my new night shift job so this might be a cause of it.

Anyways, I'll just post what I messaged to a friend.

"I've been really depressed all day, I shouldn't be, my life is good, maybe it's my new job, I work back shift at the super store, I hear sleep deprivation can cause depression or at least lots of stress.

like today when I was at my girlfriends place I wanted to cry and I have no idea why, I guess I thought that I wouldn't be able to keep the job and there might be another possible job offer at Payless shoe source and I was thinking if I got a job there I wouldn't keep it, I kept thinking of my future and how I wouldn't really have one cause I wouldn't be able to keep the job(s)
I don't usually think about that stuff, working back shift is really hard.

and when I was leaving my girlfriends house I didn't wanna leave, I wanted to stay there with her (i mean I could have but I would have been lonely cause she had to go to bed)


yeah but like even now I wish she was awake so she could text me and I wouldn't be alone, I mean you're here but I can't explain it, i haven't been this way since I didn't want my friend joey going home so very long ago
I think my problem is that I really want someone to touch and hold right now, someone I can talk to, its probably why I still sleep with my stuffed mickey mouse so it feels like im holding someone as I go to sleep

i know i'll see her again but its like I can't wait, like I need them here now and always around me, maybe my adhd is acting up again, who knows

and even though i've only done two shifts so far, I feel like they'll fire me (not that i'd mind that too much) because I'm not as fast as the other people, and whenever I go in before a shift at least for this next one I always think I wont do good or something bad will happen like I fall asleep or I just give up, fuck I don't know whats wrong with me, i just want someone to hold me and to stroke
stroke my hair and say it will be okay
when my girlfriend was holding me I wanted to cry but decided not to.....I wish I wasn't so fucked up"


TLDR: Basically after my last shift I felt really depressed and stressed out, when I went to my girlfriends place I felt like I wanted to cry in her lap but decided not to, (it would have been hard to stop) and when she was going to bed I really wanted to stay but I would have been lonely cause she had to go to bed, it's like i needed her there with me, like all the time, to hold her or for her to hold me, you should just skim the post to know.

I don't know what it is but I haven't been like this since I was a kid when I didn't want to go home or for a friend to leave my place, I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

You should PM a mod to get this thread moved to the Advice forum. You'll find a lot more mature responses there.

OT: It may just be your fucked up sleep schedule. Once your body resets its clock to this new schedule, you'll get used to it.

If not, another possibility is that you're not letting yourself have an emotional outlet. First of all, let yourself cry. Let it all out. Preferably in the presence of your girlfriend and/or any emotionally support person.

Now that you've cried, do you still feel depressed? If so, find some friends, not only your girlfriend, to confide in. If you don't have many friends, go to a social event/activity you enjoy to meet other people.

You could also just keep yourself really busy so you forget about your sadness.

I'm feeling something similar right now. New work schedule, more tired, can't see girlfriend, etc etc. What I try to do is force myself to do something or to hang out with someone.

Also, why can't you just sleep with your girlfriend? It wouldn't need to be sexual, just someone to cuddle...

Do you think anyone would care if I made the same topic again but in the Advice board?


Also her bed is tiny, like a single bed

 

[Ham_authority95]

Do you think anyone would care if I made the same topic again but in the Advice board?


Also her bed is tiny, like a single bed

EDIT: Nevermind. This thread is where it needs to be.

I see how that would be uncomfortable...

 

[Quiet Stranger]

Your circadian rhythm is out of whack. That generally passes after a few weeks.

Say what now???

 

[Quiet Stranger]

Any job is going to have a learning curve and fears that you can't perform. If I remember correctly your a gas station attendant, your have a low priority job that you haven't been training for, I doubt your bosses expect you to be as good as everyone else immediately.

If you do take the job at payless you have to understand your still gonna have to work a register and stock shelves. Right now you have a late shift with no one checking up on you till the morning so you can mess up a little as long as its small things. Your going to inconvenience the low amount of people that come by at night payless is going to be during the day with more people. If you feel pressured now you will feel more pressured to succeed there.

I think your feeling needy because you are working a lonely, at night, dangerous job. I think thats for some people not everyone or its something you get used to like a kid staying at home by himself for the first few weeks. You have to become comfortable with your surroundings. You really need to drive that fact home if you do stay at the gas station, that your feeling bad because of your surroundings not because of you.

I work at a grocery store, and sometimes my manager does check in on me for whatever reasons, it can be pretty lonely but I do talk to my fellow co workers some times and its not the job thats stressful, its the hours, backshift just does something to me

 

[Saelune]

You're human. Thats what. Besides...happy people are not natural. A stand up comedian said it best.."Maybe its the happy people that are messed up"

How so? I don't agree. The kind of plastic happiness some people have by just throwing money and plastic surgery at everything, that's messed up. Not just weighing good and bad stuff together and coming out positive

And OP, ever considered it's because of the night shift? Being tired does some pretty horrible stuff sometimes, and even moreso when you have a glorified jetlag

Ok, fine. I guess naive and uninformed people are not really messed up. But the world sucks and is full of bad things. Anyone who is happy is either insane, or ignorant. (Not neccesarily the offensive kind)

Or they choose to not let the negative parts of life ruin the good in their life.

I understand that I'm not going to change your view, I can also respect your view, I'm just trying to explain to you why some people are happy and not messed up.

OT: Don't worry man, it'll all work out. I know it seems like it won't but just hang in there.

I remember when I was working night shifts, it was bloody hard to deal with anything, luckily I had just moved back into my dad's place at the time, so I didn't have too much to worry about other than learning to do my new job. I would suggest that you focus on how to sleep properly (a solid sleep pattern is always positive) then start working your social and physical needs in and everything should fall in to place.

As far as the loneliness goes... is there a mate or sibling/cousin/other family member that you can talk to and cry with and not worry about anything with? If so I suggest buying a case/pack of beer or what ever, going around and just talking to them. Let it all out, and see what they think.

Chances are that they know you and will end up saying something similar to what you've been told here, worry about one thing at a time and it'll sort it's self out. Just work on it all separately.

It was not a comment made to be taken so literally. I do not think all happy people are messed up. I dont think even half of happy people are messed up. It was a joke about how people who are unhappy are viewed as messed up, and just twisting that.