The horrid tech-vocabulary of people who are not tech-savvy

[TheYellowCellPhone]

The Internet. All the abbreviations are annoying.

I still don't understand TL;DR, /thread, or inb4.

 

[direkiller]

The Internet. All the abbreviations are annoying.

I still don't understand TL;DR, /thread, or inb4.

hope this helps
TLDR= too long did not read

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

PC running a bit slow? Virus scanner started weekly scan, no biggie, just stop it. But no, that's too much of a task. PC crashes? Well just turn it off, but no, can't even do that either. Can't send an email? That's because you added 50 goddamn attachments and it's taking 30 minutes to send all 4 gigs worth of pictures! GAH!!

Oh and according to my mum we should always log off manually instead of just shutting down once we're done, despite the number of times I have explained that shutting down ALSO logs you off, you don't need to sit there waiting for it to log off your profile just so you can THEN press shut down. The shutdown option is there on the main menu for a reason! Oh and apparantly leaving IE open and having a couple of MSN conversations open slows down the computer too much, as does having a few emails stored on a hotmail account, even though it doesn't. I guess that goes under not knowing the difference between RAM and HDD. Can't explain it though, my sister literally shouts at me and goes "I'm not listening lalalalalal!!" whenever I try to explain (she's 25 btw).

Reminds me of how momsnewhusband thinks the reason Internet Explorer takes so long to load is because our hard drive is full and almost doesn't have any spare space. When in fact it has 80 gigabytes free.

The one that annoys me is, kinda like the ipod for all MP3s is when people call their player their MP3. I just feel like saying, no you idiot, the MP3 is the file - you dont call your DVD player a DVD do you.

My mom does. To my great annoyance.

People called a Video Cassette Recording Player a VCR so I suspect that many, many people call their Digital Versital Disc player a DVD.

 

[KP Shadow]

As for terminology, everything's ok. My Gran dosen't have a computer, and my Grandma is the most technologically aware granny on the planet, albiet she dosen't understand hardware and has a ridiculously slow computer that she could very easily upgrade

...
But you just said that she doesn't have one.

And I really don't have this problem much, other than this one dumbass kid in one of my classes insisting that the Blue Screen of Death is a virus and not an error screen.

A person can have TWO grandmothers, yes? His first grandmother doesn't have a computer but his second one does.

Yes, but he never stated that he was talking about both grandmothers.

 

[HT_Black]

I'm sure I'd have some good stories, but...My dad holds an architectural position for Microsoft. It's not easy to make fun of the guy who wrote Katrinasearch.

 

[Marmooset]

My mother thinks iPod is a word referring to all mp3-players.

This isn't ignorance. It's simply a media saturation generalization. Your complaint is something akin to someone in the 1890's complaining, "My mother is so behind the times that she calls acetylsalicylic acid Aspirin!" Well guess what, youngster...

Difference is, theres not many brands of acetylsalicylic acid. There are however many different types of mp3 players ready to buy. So its more like saying "My mother is so behind the times that she calls chocolate bars Kit Kats!"

Actually, there were many brands of acetylsalicylic acid, and it had been around for 30 years when Aspirin came along. And, as of Sept 9, 2009 (most recent figures I can find) Ipod has a 73.8% share of the MP3 market - a wee more sizeable than Kit-Kat or Bayer (Currently around 20%).
But you keep trying.

Me, I'm gonna keep calling em Walkmans.

(Interesting tidbit: Bayer was also the company that invented Heroin (also a trademark), and was part of the conglomerate that produced Zyklon-B, a powerful gassing agent used in a number of concentration camps. And that's why you should never change labels on your pharmaceuticals!)

 

[OmegaXzors]

I've had an older female senior citizen actually ask if my cell phone was a CD player. While I think a lot of old people are a waste of taxes (but that could be because I lacked any close grandparent experience), I still thought it was funny.

Though, yes. My father knows quite a bit about computers so I'm not worried about him. My mother just plays first person shooters and shops on eBay like a pro. However, when she tries to buy things for my father or I, whether it be games or hardware, she tends to screw up. My mother went into severe depression when she bought the wrong video card my dad wanted.

For example, Call of Duty 3 on the Wii is something I would have never wanted. It was fun, nonetheless.

 

[vivadelkitty]

My parents/grandparents refer to any handheld gaming device as a "Game Boy"...rather annoying when I'm using a BLOODY PSP! Also, most of classmates think that since Macs are easier to use, they are infinitely better than PC's...Oh, and my grandmother thinks that the only purpose of video games is running around. Every single time I'm on my ps2 and she walks over, "Oh, that character's running." *twitch* Yes, yes he is...now leave me alone.

 

[cheese_wizington]

My mother thinks that "install" is the keyword for everything.

"Hey Thor, Could you help me install some more songs on my iPod?"

"Sure mom."

 

[L33tsauce_Marty]

I love how my mom couldn't figure out the difference between playing a game and my wallpaper featuring Starcraft art. That and when I tell people I built my own computer they think I'm some sort of absolute genius.

Also every Mactards solution to all your PC problems, buy a Mac!

 

[manaman]

The IPod being a general term for any MP3 player is quite common. I tell people I have a Sony NW-HD3 and they ask me if it's an IPod. Sigh.

I say we encourage that, rather then discourage that. Should the name get to the point it is more common then MP3 player, or media player, then Apple will lose the trademark on iPod, and I would really like to see that happen.

Think of terms like Band-Aid, Vasoline, Aspirin, E-mail, Thermos, Netbook, and Escalator. All brand names that where (and a few still are in other countries) trademarked, but have become generic terms for the product.

 

[Scobie]

DELETED

 

[InnerRebellion]

My mum. Calls every Nintendo system "your Nintendo". And calls my PS3 "The Sony-Box." I swear, sometimes she's just stupid. Oh, and she always asks me or dad "How do I upload the internet?"

My dad's fine...but he doesn't seem to get that IE isn't THE Internet.

 

[Oh That Dude]

My Dad's a tech consultant, so he's fine. My Mum, on the other hand... Well, she's alright; she can shop online and send an email, but as soon as something more complicated arises, Dad must be called. Also she doesn't seem to have grasped that my Xbox can play more than one game, she refers to it as "your game". Personally I can make a computer do what I want, but I'm not at all familiar with the inner workings. I don't know what RAM is, for example.

 

[SimuLord]

My mother: "This computer doesn't have a hard disk. How do I save anything?"
Me: "Mom, what you're describing is a floppy disk. An A drive. They don't make them anymore because the things won't even hold an Excel spreadsheet. Now you save on a C drive. It's in the guts of the computer so tech-illiterate people can't break it."
My mom: "Oh, that makes sense. I always break computers."
Me: "Well, now it won't break as much. Just don't touch it because they make them so only nerds can do that."

My mom also calls everything "a Nintendo". Doesn't matter if it's an NES, a Wii, or an XBox 360. If it's a video game console, it's a Nintendo. Usually phrased as "You're a grown man and you still play Nintendo like you did when you were a kid."

 

[Hashime]

My favourite is
Idiot: How much memory do you have?
Me: 4 Gigabytes
Idiot: Wow, I have more than that on my Ipod, My mac has 500 gigaabytz
Me: Do you know what memory is?
Idiot: the place where I put the songs and videos that I paid twice for because I want to put them on my Ipod
Me: NO, that is you hard drive!
Idiot: shut up [insert random insult]
Me: I have a 1TB hard drive

This has become even more complicated with the dawn of SSDs, Imagine that conversation with an SSD thrown in the mix!

Also: -We are almost out of bandwidth (my mom, she means internet usage)! -I've just been streaming movies, not downloading! (my sister)

Idiot: My computer has so many viruses, PCs suck, I'm paying 2 times as much for a mac!
Me: What anti-virus software do you have?
Idiot: the norton trial that came with my computer (and expired three years ago)!
Me: How many pop-ups do you click on?
Idiot: the ones that tell me I have Viruses, that is why I know my computer is so infected!

 

[Tsunimo]

Also this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8rKFtmlVvY

Finally! i finally know how to make an email go! And i had to use WD40 on my CDs? no wonder it kept asking me to onload them!

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

Gotta be the time I handed a DVD to someone.

He stares down at the DVD and then at me blankly.

Guy: "Which side do I play it on?" He asked.

I stare at him wanting to believe that he was joking, which of course he wasn't.

Me: (Heavy sigh) "Shiny side down."

 

[TehCookie]

I'm the stupidest one in my family sadly to say. I got laughed at for asking for a erthernet cable. My dad gives me a funny look and says ethernet?

He also got mad when I asked for "One of those sound cables for my computer speakers, that have a jack that look like the headphones jack on both ends" because I didn't use the actual term. He told me and I still forgot.

Spoiler: Can you guess what it is?

Or was I unclear and you had no idea.

 

[Iznat]

I had an English teacher who once asked me to "open the computer and take out a file" as if it were some kinda of filing cabinet, as opposed to.. Well, a computer.

My father will refer to downloading as installing, as in "I installed some music onto the computer from the Internet earlier."
And I know people who call the desktop the homepage of the computer.