The inevitability of death (how do you deal with it?)

[DeltaEdge]

I can't say that I am particularly worried about death. I used to be religious, and almost kind of looked forward to it in a way at the time because I was lazy and demotivated as hell, couldn't really understand why I was such a failure socially and personally, and the thought of an infinitely superior afterlife(provided I was a good little boy) only fueled my detachment from this immediate life.

Once I gave up my religion though(having 99% agnostic/atheist friends probably didn't help ), I found that the pressure to perform to my religion's arbitrary moral standards went away which made me feel better and encouraged me to take more responsibility for my life, and my rationalization of death also helped with not leaving me feeling an exaggerated fear of death. As for that rationalization, I'm pretty much of the opinion that nothing happens when you die, your consciousness simply fades to nothing, no regret, no hostility, or watching over people from above or anything like that, your just dead. Not resting, dead, no feelings, no fear of death or nothingness, just a lack of existence, plain and simple. This has always helped me feel better about the potential of dying in a less than favorable situation like being spited right before death, because it helps to trivialize pre-death feelings for me. While I can't say that I will think exactly the same way as I do right now once I start to make more friends and possibly family since my perspective will shift to care more about them than myself, what I think right now works for me quite well.

 

[Evil Moo]

I look forwards to death. The thought of ceasing to exist is so alien and impossible to imagine that I can't help but find myself intrigued by the concept. The lack of existence seems like it would be quite liberating in a way. No more responsibilities, no more tedious insignificant everyday occurrences, no more sensation, just pure nothingness.

In the unlikely event of some form of afterlife, at least it would be a change of scenery.

Death is nothing to get upset about. It isn't as though you are going to be around after it happens, so the land of the living is no longer a concern.

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

I'm less concerned with the inevitability of my death and more concerned with how it'll happen. I'm hoping that I'm one of the lucky ones that just kinda slips away while already asleep. Beats the hell out of dying in a fire or drowning or whatever.

 

[Flutterguy]

Everyone has had to face this fact throughout all of eternity and will have to until eternities end.

What is your fear of death accomplishing exactly? Probably motivating you to reassess your current values, and bring about change in your life.

Best thing you can do is use it as motivation to assess what is important to you, and formulate goals from that. Then strive to accomplish your goals.

There are plenty of things you can choose to fear. The air we breath, the water supply running dry, your own mortality, what your peers think of you.. These things are helpful in moderation, but getting crushed under them, allowing depression to rule you, that is no way to live.

 

[Britpoint]

I deal with this thought by reassuring myself that it's a long long time away. Like putting off homework until the last minute. When I'm a retired old gent with a dodgy hip and a heart condition, I'll probably start dwelling on it a lot more. But I'll be older and wiser then, so it will be easier to cope with.

For the now though, why worry about death when I could be playing RollerCoaster Tycoon? I just ignore the things I can't control and focus on the stuff that I can. I also reassure myself that it's not like when it does happen I'll be trapped in some blank void for eternity, I'll just stop registering stuff. It happens every night when I go to sleep; one moment I'm gazing at the ceiling thinking about how cool it would be if I were a wizard, the next my alarm is going off and I'm rolling over to hit snooze.

Death will be pretty much like that, just without the bit where you wake up and notice that you were asleep in the first place. So when it eventually happens, death is something you won't even notice.

 

[lacktheknack]

Well, as someone with a positive religious outlook, the idea of dying tomorrow is more disappointing than anything. I'd planned to go to Iceland and Russia! I want to learn how to draw! I want to write music! I've worked hard to get where I am in school, I'd like to at LEAST finish! Etc, etc. I'd be sad if I found out that I'm on death's door and don't get to do those things.

It also makes me a bit worried for the well-being of my family and a few friends, but really, death doesn't scare me at all.

 

[persephone]

A lot of the time I don't mind the idea of dying, at least in the abstract. I imagine the death itself will probably suck, but then it'll be over. Of course, I'm fairly religious and I live with daily disability and pain, so the idea of getting relief from that has its appeal. However, I don't want to die yet; I want to managed to accomplish something first, so the idea is a bit scary.

As for worrying that it would be hollow to take up a religion just for comfort, you'd probably be right -- if that was your approach. Instead, might I recommend simply doing research into several religions to see if any of them strike a chord with you? Read up on Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, and their various sects. Instead of simply adopting one in the hopes it'll make you feel better, investigate them and search for the truth. You're smart enough to know that you wouldn't be comforted by something you don't believe in, so try to find something you do believe in. I know I spent some years contemplating and researching my religion before I really mentally committed to and believed in it. And that time spent researching and learning really paid off.

 

[DANEgerous]

I thought on this before it is a rather odd topic in that it starts off exceptionally depressing until you find a goal and either complete it or are told something that make you realize you already have. I had to think about this when my cousin was suicidal, he told me when he was black out drunk along with he had tried and failed to kill himself twice already and it struck me I may be the only one that knew this and I had to in some sense save his life which was hard as revealing that I knew this and was attempting it would likely trigger another attempt. I did it but that is a long and boring story, he even admitted to me and three other people had allowed him to either get over or seek medication for his depression.

But how does this relate to my death? Well that is a rather simple yet complected question, easy answer though. This alone was enough for my life to be validated, someone telling you they want to die make you wonder if you your self want to die and if not why not. Being the sap and rather simple man I am was just to aid the people I have encountered and be a positive no matter how small force. I in turn believe I have been, this along with the acceptance that everything dies takes the fear out of death.

 

[Eamar]

I don't really think about it.

To be honest, I am far more scared of getting old than I am of dying. It makes no real sense for me to fear death since, as an atheist, I'm pretty damn certain I'm not going to be aware of the fact I'm dead, and I don't think there's any chance of being sent to hell or whatever. In fact, it's perfectly possible that death might be a welcome release from pain or a long illness.

And that's the bit I'm scared of. The being old and frail and sick part, losing much of my mobility, my body slowly failing (and possibly my mind too), possibly losing my independence, getting to an age where your friends and siblings start to die. Plus I don't plan on having kids, so it's not like I'll have family to look after me (hopefully I'll have some nice friends and neighbours though). I've often thought I might prefer to die relatively young (in a worthwhile way, like saving babies and puppies from a burning building or something) rather than live to get old.

Of course, being young and all I firmly believe they'll have cured ageing by the time I get to that stage. Right?

 

[Entourian]

Many years ago, by the noon day sun, the Devil took my soul. When the time comes he will take my body also. But until that day I will march endlessly toward my goal. After all, the Devil will only take my soul when I die, but how can he, when I intend to live forever.

But on a more serious note, I have died before, concussion and drowning, was dead for about five or so minutes. For me death is simply a fact of life, and I have since accepted. Hell, I don't even mourn it anymore. I have a goal in life and will do everything in my power to reach it, and I suggest that everyone find one and seek to accomplish it. After all, when we stand at the Gates of Judgement, what will we think about our life.

 

[Chris Moses]

So that's my piece, any help/insights would be greatly appreciated.
How about you? How do you deal with this fact?

I look at it from two perspectives. Hopefully one will help you.

1. Life is an experiment run by God to see what it is like to be limited and to suffer. This may seem like a dick move, but I also believe God is the universe; so in reality, as we are all pieces of God, He is making Himself suffer. The reason God is not apparent is that would make things too easy and ruin His experiment. Good news is that as long as you are not too much of a dick (and don't embrace the darkness), you will be rewarded for your suffering by joining the collective of souls that have passed on and all they've learned and experienced. Not only will you be able to re-live your best life experiences, but other's as well. Wanna see what it would like to be an eagle or a dolphin? Done. Want to be a dinosaur, also done. Hell, there should also be countless alien species to experience if you wish.

2. There is no afterlife, no real reason to be good or bad, except that bad people fuck things up for everyone else. Your life goes out like a switch. The reward is that you no longer have to worry or deal with this fucked up little planet and its shitty little people.

I look forward to both, the only thing that stops me from hurrying either process along is that there are people that seem to care about me and would be devastated at my premature departure. I care about them too, so oh well, I am going to hang around a bit longer, see how things go. Live my life the way I want and enjoy the things I want (within reason).

Either way death is a ticket off of this limited little rock and all the pain and fear it induces. You don't want to grow to be too old. I watched my great grandfather die of old age. That sucks, and I don't advise it.

 

[viscomica]

I don't deal with the invitability of death, I just don't. I try not to think about it and actually enjoy life as it is. Whenever I do think about it, though, I get sad and scared and desperate. I don't like feeling like my life doesn't matter and I like to think there's something more to it and that human consciousness of mortality is not just a joke.

 

[Roxor]

So that's my piece, any help/insights would be greatly appreciated.
How about you? How do you deal with this fact?

It's nothing to worry about. It's just like turning off a computer. The computer doesn't know how much time has passed while it was off until it checks the clock. Same thing for you if you were to die and be resurrected later on.

Alternatively, think about just how horrible it would be to live forever. Not merely a very long time. FOREVER. Star Trek Voyager's episode "Death Wish" makes just one argument for how bad immortality would be. I'm sure you can find plenty of other examples in other works.

 

[Dimitriov]

Given all that, I can't say that death scares me too much. Sure, if I tried to jump off a cliff or something my instincts would probably get the better of me and I'm in no hurry to die because of what it would do to people who knew me, but I find the idea kind of comforting. Sort of like going to bed at the end of a long day. Whatever happens, it's going to be over, so stop worrying so much. There's no one to judge you, your conscience is going to be obliterated and your body is going to be eaten by bacteria or whatever you want doing with it. It won't be you though, it's just going to be stuff.

This is kind of how I feel about it too. I am in no hurry to die, but the thought that everyone dies eventually is kind of comforting. I like how you compared it to going to sleep.

I really have grown to see it as simply the well-deserved rest at the end of life.

 

[lunavixen]

I've accepted the fact that one way or another, i'm going to die, though hopefully later rather than sooner. I'm more worried about dying before my parents do and what my death would do to them, it's what stopped me attempting suicide a few years back (I've been battling depression for about 12 years now). For the moment, I think i've been able to wall myself off from those thoughts for the most part.

 

[theboombody]

Unlike most millennials, I happen to be a religious man. Not a very good religious man, but a religious man anyway. So I trust God that he'll make everything right in the end, but it's all the stuff before then that worries me. That's what I have a hard time trusting God with. When I saw a sign that said, "Life isn't about avoiding the clouds, it's about learning how to dance in the rain," I became extremely depressed. Because I knew at that point that God had some kind of mission in my future that would definitely have rain clouds in it. The writings of Paul describe these rain clouds as character building exercises, which are not fun. I still try to avoid the rain clouds much more than I try to dance in the rain.

So there are actually times I fear life more than I fear death. The thing I fear most about death is the potential shame of not doing the things I was meant to do, no matter how little those things are. I think God likes us to do little things more than big things. Otherwise he wouldn't have filled life with so many menial tasks. I hate menial tasks, but I don't think God hates them. I think I hate a lot of things God likes. That's why I struggle with him so much. That's probably why the Israelites and God fought each other over, and over, and over again. Israel means "wrestles with God."

A lot of Christians like to think they're on the same page with God, but I don't believe it's quite that simple. I believe that quite often believers fight against God more than non-believers do without even realizing it. Especially when they bully people around. How is that going to solve anything? I like to bully sometimes too, but only in a cunning way so I don't get in trouble.

I know this all probably sounds ridiculous to atheists and agnostics and such, but oh well. Life is ridiculous sometimes, and I dread the monotony of the endless menial tasks that fill it. Sometimes I dread those tasks more than I dread death.

 

[toquio3]

I plan to live just long enough for a cure for aging and death to be made available. Dunno about you guys.

 

[GeneralChaos]

I came to terms with it by deciding that dying is for chumps and signing up to be cryonically preserved. I figure there's about a 10% chance of it working, which is about 10% better than every other option. Barring that, there's always trying to extend your life long enough to reach escape velocity - that is, to extend your life expectancy by more than 1 year every year on average, most likely by living long enough to see a cure for aging and/or death like toquio said.
Remember: Dying sucks, and accepting death just makes it that much harder for the human race to cure it.

 

[Not Lord Atkin]

I'm very well aware of he fact. I'm not afraid. What frightens me more than my own death is the fact that the precious few people that I love are going to die at some point.

As for me... well fear of death is for people who love life.

That is not to say I'm one of those sad individuals that have nothing to live for and spend most of their time curled up in the fetal position crying themselves to sleep. Thing is: currently there is no one who depends on me to the point that I can not afford to die (like a wife or children) so there is no practical reason to fear death. As for myself... while fear of dying is there to a point, fear of death as is... not really.

The stance I'm taking is the one described by Epicurus. Depending on what you believe in - for atheists, you existence will cease to be when you die. You will not be there to feel pain or really care about the fact that you're dead at all. For religious people, the life after death is more often than not better than the physical one. So there's no reason for fear either.

 

[Remus]

I actually kinda look forward to it n an odd way. My intention when I die is to have my body donated to science or perhaps a federal body farm so that it gets use well after the neurons have stopped firing. I'd put my body out for organ donation, but over the course of my life I've been on such a litany of drugs that I would not want to risk someone else's life if they have an adverse reaction to whatever levels remain after I'm deceased. But yea, generally I don't think about it. I just casually observe those around me who are older than I am to learn what not to do in order to live longer. Ah the joys of being the youngest child in a large family. So my life is very low key - I don't smoke, don't drink, never even tried anything illegal, exercise every day, get out when I can, and I'm brutally honest, never keeping grievances bottled up as to cause unnecessary stress.