Decoy Doctorpus said:
I think feminism, at least moderate feminism, enjoys a relatively positive media reception thanks to the big issues feminists have tackled and over thrown. Masculinism on the other hand is generally perceived as a 'nitpicking' movement challenging things most perceive (correctly or incorrectly) as relatively inconsequential. Then there's the very hard to do away with guilt by association issue.
Yeah, that's the problem with being a young movement. I've seen that in a number of manifestations. The hardest part is convincing people that something is wrong, which is why it frustrates me that the masculine stereotype issue is perceived as incompatible with feminism. Feminists have husbands and brothers and sons and male friends. We don't hate men. They do piss us off though. A lot. But to be fair, so do women.
In fact in your post you kind of inadvertandly touched on the problem guys have with advocacy, 'suck it up', cousin of 'toughen up' and distant relative of 'be a man', all parts of what guys are supposed to be.
Good catch. Part of that is that I'm trying to say what I mean in a way that I hope will be recognized by the people I'm trying to speak to. Why guys should believe it necessary and natural to "suck it up" under a rain of constant verbal abuse on Xbox Live and yet excuse themselves from acting on their declared beliefs because people criticize them makes absolutely no sense to me.
But I'm also a really big non-fan of the victim thing. I've been in enough feminist groups where the person who could lay claim to the most victimhood (often a person who was, in the grand scope of things, pretty well off) got to pretty much control the discussion and the actions, and it was all done in the most touchy-feely, passive-aggressive, "when you [blank], I feel [blank]" psychobabble, bullshit fashion. Finally I got sick of it. "OK, so you are the big victim. So what do we do about it? No practical ideas? Yeah, that's what I thought. Until you have something we can
do about it, suck it up." Sometimes getting a little butch is just what a conversation needs.
All in all I mostly agree with you, not just because you're the most aggressive person in the discussion either,
I'm not sure if I should be flattered by this, but I am a little bit. This is a bit off-topic, but I've sat and listened to my coworkers giving each other shit while playing Halo, and I just imagine how much worse it would be if they didn't know and like each other, and that puts me off of online play (that and I kind of suck but anyway). But the thing that gets me when I hear gamer griefing, it's not that it's aggressive, it's not that it's mean, it's not even that it's racist, sexist, and homophobic. It's that it's repetitive and boring. If I could go online and argue about whether or not slam poetry was really poetry or not, or whether the movie "Hero" supports a basically tyrannical worldview, or argue about the sustainability of the American middle class while running around and shooting people, I would be in heaven. "Shakespeare was just a front, the plays were really written by the Earl of Oxford." "Take that back, you snob!" "Oxford rules, Shakespeare drools..." BOOM HEADSHOT!
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. I'm fine with aggression, as long as a person had some aim and isn't just spraying the place down with a bullet-hose.
but I still think media stereotypes are pretty far down the list of problems we need to address.
Yeah, there's Darfur and the whole shit-we-broke-the-planet thing, but I do want to stick up for the importance of this topic. I worry about guys, about young guys. It kind of goes back to the talk I had with Joeshie, and it definitely has to do with this conversation. Somehow, nobody seems to think young men are important as anything other than a consumer demographic. As long as you are spending money in predictable patterns, no one seems to care, other than to make sure you get the job skills so that you can grow up, stay employed, and keep spending money in predictable patterns. The young men is see around me just seem really discouraged and unhappy and disengaged and perpetually
bored. It's like the culture isn't giving them anything real to do or any real reason to do it. The thing is, as a female feminist, I can only challenge them, I can't really offer them solutions, because I'm not one of them. So yeah, I get up in your face, but I really try not to tell you what to do, because I don't know what you should do. So all I can say is, "Yeah? So what are you doing about it?" and tell them, yeah, it's hard, it's hard all over, and it's going to get harder. So what are you going to do about it?
Me, I'm going to go back to my RP and keep writing a really fucked-up man-hating female badass character and then try and save her from her own hateful fucked-up-ness while retaining her badass.