The largest weapon you could conceal stealthily.

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

Okay - picture you are Jackie Estacado from the Darkness or Neo from the Matrix.

Spoiler: Jackie

Spoiler: Neo

You're a bad-ass in a long coat; you are famed for hiding weapons in your bad ass long coat - so what I ask you is - through picture/story or pure inventiveness; what is the biggest weapon you conceal and not look like you have any weapons on you.


I've heard tale of a sling-thing that goes on your back and can conceal an automatic rifle the size of an m-16.

EDIT; forgot the most stealthy of sea dogs in a trench coat.

Spoiler: The Punisher

The smutty answer would be, "But I'm already hiding a huge weapon in my..."

The BEST answer would be, "But I'm already hiding a big bazooka in my..."

 

[traceur_]

As opposed to concealing conspicuously?

If various episodes of Road Runner are anything to go buy, I can easily a conceal giant hammer behind my back.

 

[Poofs]

ok here we go, im assuming your wearing a trench coat

on your headd have a top hat with a bladed rim

on your back you could have a pump shotgun and an assault rifle in crossed holsters

give each arm a hidden blade one poisoined the other with gun attachment

12 throwing knives strapped to each shoulder

a belt with holsters all the way around containing upwards of 12 desert eagles all with 100
round extended clips and hollow point rounds

on each hip you could have a small katana in a sheath

legs could have trowing knives strapped onto them, 12 knives per holder, 4 holders per leg

on the inside of the coat you could keep upwards of 12 frag grenades and lots of ammo

lastly you could hold 9mm glock in each of the coats outside pockets

 

[murphy7801]

VX- enough to wipe out probably a million people in the right place.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VX_%28nerve_agent%29

 

[Sporky111]

Under a coat, you can have any shotgun or rifle if you hang it under your shoulder by the stock (like Reese did in The Terminator).

Other than a coat, I could hollow out the neck of a guitar and hide a long barred weapon in there. The problem would be using it on the fly, and if somebody asked you to play it (it would sound terrible). But you could easily walk around without suspicion with a guitar slung on your back.

 

[Hazy]

Apparently, this can be easily concealed in Final Fantasy:

-snip-

That constantly confused me during FF8, especially when I was younger.

He just made it... vanish.
Around Balamb Garden, the thing is nonexistent. Likewise, it dissolves into fat air when certain scripted sequences occur.

 

[HentMas]

who needs a trentch coat!?

EDIT: i loved the shot gun haha

 

[Treblaine]

There is nothing stealthy about a trench coat, not only does it restrict you movement and does it make you stand out like a sore thumb but unless you button it up below the belt-line it can't conceal any longer weapons but then it would be come extremely hard to move quickly.

Now the best concealed weapon is not the shotgun but something like a compact sub-machine gun or machine pistol. Since they can be small and light yet still controllable and their firepower is about on par with a shotgun only with greater range and being much easier to use, just pull the trigger, no worry about cycling the action, reload is simpler too.

This 1/6th scale model of an IRA gunman shows comparative sizes and how easy it would be to conceal a weapon like that under even a modest coat. Though wearing camouflage in an urban environment is sure to attract unwanted attention.

 

[Parattchi]

I once saw a show on Columbine, and it showed how easy it was to conceal weapons even just wearing a t-shirt and shorts. This guy had some ten or so pistols on him, including a goddamn Magnum, a sawnoff shotgun, and a tommmygun down the back of his pants. All completely invisible.

 

[Doc Incognito]

I saw a clip from the movie Bowling for Columbine about concealed firearms in baggy clothing. There was a commercial advocating dress codes to prevent kids from wearing baggy clothing. The commercial proceeded to show a kid in baggy clothing, who pulled one, two, three, four pistols from his pants, followed by a Mini-Uzi and ammunition from behind his back (presumably tucked in his pants), and finally, a shotgun from his pant-leg. Single funniest thing I ever saw that tried to be serious. I really wish I could find the YouTube clip, but the clip continues to elude me.

Concealing is for stealth. Stealth is for wusses. Therefore I cannot conceal anything.

I sure as hell am not going to rush gung-ho at my enemies when they outnumber me.

Call me a wuss if you will, but I'll be happy living.

OT: Apparently Snake can conceal a Stinger Missle, FAMAS, Socom USP .45 pistol, Claymores, C4, Frag Grenades, Boxes, and Chaff grenades in his sneaking suit.

In reality, though?
An automatic rifle, probably.

On stealth, I second that. I'll be the wuss in MewTwo slitting throats from behind.

 

[Erana]

Dood, I just realised that Jackie Estacado's jacket looks a lot like my sister's old leather jacket!

OK, sans holes.
And a more reasonable length.
And being fit for a woman.

...You know what? I think it may be that they just were both black leather and had a mauve lining.

Still, in a fancy leather jacket like that...
Well,

Spoiler

Give me a retractable handle, and make that back blade not so sharp, give me a turtle neck, and I could conceviably hide it.

Who knew my small, yet pleasantly feminine bosom would come in handy one day?

 

[Urgh76]

a Buster Sword obviously

 

[Treblaine]

Then of course you have weapons like this that you may have seen in that film Inglourious Basterds:

Apparently it is based on a real weapon used by spies in WWII, though it looks very awkward to fire in a conventional way, but it was intended that plunger on the front actuated the trigger and is designed to be depressed as the clenched fist in punched into the target, firing at the moment of impact.

The great thing about this is many people either have a lot of experience punching or have trained a lot to the extent that with close quarters fighting they feel more confident landing an accurate punch than trying to aim a small gun quickly and precisely. A small and slow bullet is extra deadly if fired with he muzzle pressed into the target as they absorb the energy from the muzzle blast as well as the bullet.

 

[Blimey]

My giant Stick of Justice.

 

[clank1013]

the jetsens mobile!!! i mean it turns into a suitcase!!! idk about you, but thats concealment!! lol

 

[L3m0n_L1m3]

Not so much about size, but more about quantity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRG_I90GEIc

(One day I need to learn how to embed videos)

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

An ICBM. I'll find a way to conceal it.

Just paint the words "This is not an ICBM" on the side. That'll handle it.

This 1/6th scale model of an IRA gunman shows comparative sizes and how easy it would be to conceal a weapon like that under even a modest coat. Though wearing camouflage in an urban environment is sure to attract unwanted attention.

Not to mention the ski mask. Unless it's winter, of course.

Really, though, there's no small (ha!) number of weapons you can hide on your person. My own personal setup would be:

Ruger MP9 x2 (tucked into belt at small of back, underneath jacket)
Thompson submachine gun, without stock (strapped to left side)
FN P90 (strapped to right side)
Glock 36 x2 (strapped to forearms)
Micro Uzi x2 (strapped to shins, underneath loose pants)
Combat knife (strapped to left bicep)
Throwing knife x2 (strapped to shins, opposite guns)

Sure, I'd set off every metal detector in five blocks, but hey. Sometimes you need to look cool even when you pack heat.

 

[Supreme Unleaded]

An ICBM. I'll find a way to conceal it.

Now if only you could aim it at someone within 2 miles without blowing yourself to pieces.

Edit: We all know that this little toy is the real winner here, just watch.