The minor annoyances that keep us all from accepting the invitations to attend Hogwarts

[Diablo2000]

Because I guess I wouldn't be able to find a place to recharge my DS, I would recharge with what? Magic? There's a magical DS recharging spell?
And because I would be kick out of there for attacking my room mates with magic and screaming "HADOUKEN! ************! HADOUKEN!"

EDIT:There's also no TV in there, so I wouldn't be able to watch Doctor Who...

 

[thethingthatlurks]

Why I'm not matriculating at Hogwarts? Well, frankly I detest British food. It's a major deal breaker for me, although I'm pretty sure I could live with the rain, and the occasional troll invasions. Plus the headmaster is batshit fucking loco, but nobody seems to want to remove him, despite the dead students...

 

[ajemas]

A couple of reasons. First of all, it's the fact that a quarter of the students ARE TOTALLY EVIL! I wouldn't want to go to class with a bunch of kinds who are essentially the Nazis of the wizarding world. Secondly, it's the fact that you don't learn anything practical other than magic. No math, science, or history, just magic. Imagine that thousands of super-powerful wizards with an 11 year old's understanding of history. Now make a quarter of them evil. (Thank you, Cracked.com).
One last problem that I have is the fact that school security is awful. Even when Hogwarts was specifically tasked to guard the Sorcerer's stone (Philosopher's stone, if you're British), it was unable to stop three 11 year old kids. And then there's the fact that they didn't figure out that there was a motherfucking basilisk living in their building for something like 20 years.

 

[huigho1215]

Y'know, all of the dying.

I'm not sure I'd want to attend a school that not only hands you a dangerous weapon at age 11, but requires you to use it in every day life, which teaches what I can only describe as germ warfare and then hands you a death sentence if you ever actually use your education outside of school.

regular school is dangerous too, "knowledge is power" dangerous stuff.

OT: The whole Forbidden Forest with the deadly creatures, not a real selling point to me.

 

[Hollock]

I'd agree on the stair thing. It would make being on time a pain in the ass.

"Young man, why are you late?"

"Well Mr Fli-"

"15 points from Ravenclaw."

"Son of a *****."

You mean of course, Hufflepuff.

Naaah, Ravenclaw is the best one. Its where the smart ones who don't die go.

I'm not arguing that Ravenclaw is the best one. I'm arguing that Ravenclaw is not the place for you ~_^. Y'see Hufflepuff was intentionally made for the children who weren't brave, unambitious, and not-so-clever. But worry not, Hufflepuffians are quote un-quote "Hard working".

Its not my fault though! Its those stupid stairs! If they never existed then Harry never would have had to fight Voldemort for the Sorcerer's Stone and everything would have ended with book one!

Whatever helps you sleep at night Huffy-boy (or would be huffy-boy if those fucking stairs weren't so annoying!) .

Damn straight! As for calling me a Huffy-boy....Tarantallegra.

I CAN'T believe you just did this to me, I have NEVER been this humiliated before!
Why don't you just join the Death eaters?

 

[Asuka Soryu]

This evil bald guy keeps screwing everything up. God~ I wish someone would blow him up.

 

[Ultraman950]

Well, I live in the US. But suspending all disbelief, here's my big reason for not going to Hogwarts.

Snape.

Just Snape.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

I'd agree on the stair thing. It would make being on time a pain in the ass.

"Young man, why are you late?"

"Well Mr Fli-"

"15 points from Ravenclaw."

"Son of a *****."

You mean of course, Hufflepuff.

Naaah, Ravenclaw is the best one. Its where the smart ones who don't die go.

I'm not arguing that Ravenclaw is the best one. I'm arguing that Ravenclaw is not the place for you ~_^. Y'see Hufflepuff was intentionally made for the children who weren't brave, unambitious, and not-so-clever. But worry not, Hufflepuffians are quote un-quote "Hard working".

Its not my fault though! Its those stupid stairs! If they never existed then Harry never would have had to fight Voldemort for the Sorcerer's Stone and everything would have ended with book one!

Whatever helps you sleep at night Huffy-boy (or would be huffy-boy if those fucking stairs weren't so annoying!) .

Damn straight! As for calling me a Huffy-boy....Tarantallegra.

I CAN'T believe you just did this to me, I have NEVER been this humiliated before!
Why don't you just join the Death eaters?

O_O.....My life is complete now. I just-...wow...*Begins slow clap sound affect* DANCE YOU SILLY RAVENCLAW DANCE!

Ahhh, Lets see what other spells we got here...uhhh, Langlock?...naah. Oooh. *Points wand* Obscuro!

 

[Astoria]

Pfft, why would I go to Hogwarts. I mean what's so special about it? Ok, so being magical is pretty cool. And it's a lot colder in the UK so that's a bonus I suppose. Oh, and Quidditch of course which I would love to play. And then you have the whole you get to live in a castle thing, you pretty much have an all you can eat three meals a day, you get to see friends 24/7 apart from holidays....damn it! I wanna go to Hogwarts

 

[Paelias]

They don't tell you this in the letter but Hogwarts is actually hugely expensive. And you can't get loans because they don't take muggle money. As for gringott's they have terrible interest rates.

There's just not enough financial aid to make it worth while.

 

[Professor James]

No technology, I have to travel all the way to England, and the security sucks.

 

[The King of Rock and Roll]

I'd have to say the fact that Harry Potter was both fictional and poorly written would be the deciding factors.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

A couple of reasons. First of all, it's the fact that a quarter of the students ARE TOTALLY EVIL! I wouldn't want to go to class with a bunch of kinds who are essentially the Nazis of the wizarding world. Secondly, it's the fact that you don't learn anything practical other than magic. No math, science, or history, just magic. Imagine that thousands of super-powerful wizards with an 11 year old's understanding of history. Now make a quarter of them evil. (Thank you, Cracked.com).
One last problem that I have is the fact that school security is awful. Even when Hogwarts was specifically tasked to guard the Sorcerer's stone (Philosopher's stone, if you're British), it was unable to stop three 11 year old kids. And then there's the fact that they didn't figure out that there was a motherfucking basilisk living in their building for something like 20 years.

You know, that Cracked article always annoyed me, mainly because they do get magical equivalents of all three subjects. I always got the feeling that the author watched a couple of the movies, but never read a single book in the series. Hermione took Arithmancy, which is magic with numbers, they all had History of Magic, and there are a few magical sciences in there -- potions is chemistry with more potent ingredients, and botany and care of magical creatures, when put together, work out to biology. They don't get much in the way of physics, but then, when a law doesn't apply to you, why bother to learn what it says?

Edit: Also, that basilisk had been down there since the school was founded. Salazaar Slytherin built the Chamber of Secrets, Voldemort just opened it -- and he opened it 50 years before the books take place, so I have no idea where you got the 20 year figure from. [/uberdork]

 

[ajemas]

A couple of reasons. First of all, it's the fact that a quarter of the students ARE TOTALLY EVIL! I wouldn't want to go to class with a bunch of kinds who are essentially the Nazis of the wizarding world. Secondly, it's the fact that you don't learn anything practical other than magic. No math, science, or history, just magic. Imagine that thousands of super-powerful wizards with an 11 year old's understanding of history. Now make a quarter of them evil. (Thank you, Cracked.com).
One last problem that I have is the fact that school security is awful. Even when Hogwarts was specifically tasked to guard the Sorcerer's stone (Philosopher's stone, if you're British), it was unable to stop three 11 year old kids. And then there's the fact that they didn't figure out that there was a motherfucking basilisk living in their building for something like 20 years.

You know, that Cracked article always annoyed me, mainly because they do get magical equivalents of all three subjects. I always got the feeling that the author watched a couple of the movies, but never read a single book in the series. Hermione took Arithmancy, which is magic with numbers, they all had History of Magic, and there are a few magical sciences in there -- potions is chemistry with more potent ingredients, and botany and care of magical creatures, when put together, work out to biology. They don't get much in the way of physics, but then, when a law doesn't apply to you, why bother to learn what it says?

Edit: Also, that basilisk had been down there since the school was founded. Salazaar Slytherin built the Chamber of Secrets, Voldemort just opened it -- and he opened it 50 years before the books take place, so I have no idea where you got the 20 year figure from. [/uberdork]

My bad, it's been quite a while since I read the books. I thought that it was about 20 years since Hagrid was thrown out of school for the whole Basilisk thing, and that it wasn't there beforehand. My bad, and thanks for the tip.
And by the way, now that you mention it, I do remember them taking some other classes besides magic. Still, I wouldn't want to attend a school with such a high mortality rate.

 

[Firetaffer]

I am a man of science, so I will be happy with my mechsuits and laser weaponry while you're learning how to turn rats into snuffboxes.

Wouldn't a man of science want to study this Magical (Pft) phenomenon? WE MUST STUDY, FOR SCIENCE.

 

[Plurralbles]

The teachers don't actually teach you anything.

Magic also has a huge, "You either get it or you don't" system which makes unqualified teachers even the more so unqualified and making it all a waste of time.

Also the inefficiency of moving staircases would irk me too.

The inefficiency of having a huge mess hall and set meal times would suck.

The fact that there's no shops near the place for normal people clothing/games/whatever.

The fact that they keep incredibly dangerous things all around you and don't bat an eye and blame YOU for getting hurt.

Quidditch. Screw that game. I'll stay on the ground and play football, thank you.

Houses. Screw the sorting hat. It literally humps your head to make an arbitrary assertion on what kind of person you are instead of being a constructive influence. Yeah, send me to a house surrounding me with people who are exactly like me. THAT's intelligent. I'll grow into a better personthat way for sure!

 

[Hollock]

I'd agree on the stair thing. It would make being on time a pain in the ass.

"Young man, why are you late?"

"Well Mr Fli-"

"15 points from Ravenclaw."

"Son of a *****."

You mean of course, Hufflepuff.

Naaah, Ravenclaw is the best one. Its where the smart ones who don't die go.

I'm not arguing that Ravenclaw is the best one. I'm arguing that Ravenclaw is not the place for you ~_^. Y'see Hufflepuff was intentionally made for the children who weren't brave, unambitious, and not-so-clever. But worry not, Hufflepuffians are quote un-quote "Hard working".

Its not my fault though! Its those stupid stairs! If they never existed then Harry never would have had to fight Voldemort for the Sorcerer's Stone and everything would have ended with book one!

Whatever helps you sleep at night Huffy-boy (or would be huffy-boy if those fucking stairs weren't so annoying!) .

Damn straight! As for calling me a Huffy-boy....Tarantallegra.

I CAN'T believe you just did this to me, I have NEVER been this humiliated before!
Why don't you just join the Death eaters?

O_O.....My life is complete now. I just-...wow...*Begins slow clap sound affect* DANCE YOU SILLY RAVENCLAW DANCE!

Ahhh, Lets see what other spells we got here...uhhh, Langlock?...naah. Oooh. *Points wand* Obscuro!

I hit this asshole right?!?!