The mysteries of the background NPC

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BrokenStylus

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May 11, 2011
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A simple question: what's the most weird, foolish or downright hilarious thing you've ever caught a background NPC doing?

To clarify, I'm not talking about 'active' NPCs like AI teammates here. We all know that in a lot of games these guys are typically found dropping grenades at your feet like a pleased-with-itself puppy showing you a half-eaten pigeon it found. Or perhaps stood directly in front of your line of sight, seemingly inviting you to stick the barrel of your gun in their ear. They're morons, but usually well-meaning ones.

'Background' NPCs are the passive ones usually present as environmental decoration. Think chattering pedestrians in sandbox games, generic spice-merchants in the marketplace in an RPG, that sort of thing. Their behaviour can be a lot more mystifying when put under scrutiny.

As a recent example, me and my girlfriend just finished a co-op run through of Hunted: The Demon's Forge (a game that I actually managed to enjoy despite the game's best efforts to ensure that I wouldn't). One level takes place in a quarry with human slaves toiling away in the background, replete with mining picks and shovels. A sensible enough scenario you say? Then kindly explain to me the intentions of the half dozen slaves busily mining away on top of a wooden bridge spanning an enormous chasm. Eagerly they chipped away at their timber platform, apparantly mining for toothpicks. A wargar taskmaster encouraged them in this activity- presumably he thought that the other slaves actually mining rock were the stupid ones.

Another good example involves a bard in Assassins Creed Brotherhood who, seemingly tired of the music game, ran screaming down to a jetty and hurled himself into the water. There was no evident cause for this behaviour, so I assumed he had suddenly become aware of his own existence as background filler in a game, gone instantly mad and hurled himself to his death. Poor devil.

So please, share with me those moments when witnessing weird NPC behaviour that made you wonder just exactly what the hell was going on in those little digital heads of theirs.
 

trollnystan

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Dec 27, 2010
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BrokenStylus said:
LE SNIP

Another good example involves a bard in Assassins Creed Brotherhood who, seemingly tired of the music game, ran screaming down to a jetty and hurled himself into the water. There was no evident cause for this behaviour, so I assumed he had suddenly become aware of his own existence as background filler in a game, gone instantly mad and hurled himself to his death. Poor devil.

LE SNIP
That's just pure awesome. I wish I could've seen it =o

OT: Beyond NPCs walking against walls or the like, I can't recall anything awesomely weird worth telling. This makes me sad =(
 

Lawbringer

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Oct 7, 2009
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Oblivion has some wonderful conversations which make me desperate to know how social interaction really works there. Example:

Man and woman are coming from opposite ends of the market and stop for a friendly chat. It goes as follows:

Man: Hello
Woman: Hello
Man: I saw a mudcrab once. Horrible things!
Woman: I don't know you and I don't want to know you.
Man: Good Day then.
Woman: Until next time.

Wow....Until NEXT time? How often does this ritual take place? Will he ever earn her love with his heroic stories? Sadly I was too busy killing mudcrabs to ever find out.
 

Moonlight Butterfly

Be the Leaf
Mar 16, 2011
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In Shivering Isles (a veritable cavalcade of crazy Npc's) I walked up to an orc who shouts in my khajiit's face
'YOU! YOU'RE A CAT!!!'
and then he set his dog on me :|

the worst thing is the dog seems to respawn in the city now and again and attack me lol.
 

Lawbringer

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I've just thought of another, too. It was in Warcraft III as I recall.

I (As Orcs) had managed to fight the Human scum to a standstill and (4 teh lulz) decided to put a ring of death around the only remaining gold mine. It was not an especially impressive defence, come to think of it - perhaps three or four towers and about six spearmen.

Now...what, as the general of the desperate human armies, is the thing to do in this situation?

a) Prudence: Form what defence you can while building a small force to clear the Orcish fiends from the goldmine, thereby opening up supply lines and with it the chance of victory?
or
b) Suicide Mission: Spend all remaining resources on creating as many troops as possible. Send all against the Orcish base in the hope a surprise attack will ctach them off guard?

If you picked a or b then you will never make a general in Stormwind's armies. Seeing that lack of gold was the problem, he simply sent wave upon wave of peasants towards the goldmine to bring back what booty they could find. Nothing can go wrong with that plan, right? Oh...it's heavily defended you say? Well the only solution is to build MORE peasants!

Needless to say he bankrupted himself and his army of peasants was a joy to massacre when I finally tired of his antics.


EDIT: Oh right...that's not really background NPCS is it? Well...it amused me all the same.
 

Ca3zar416

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Oliver90909 said:
I've just thought of another, too. It was in Warcraft III as I recall.

I (As Orcs) had managed to fight the Human scum to a standstill and (4 teh lulz) decided to put a ring of death around the only remaining gold mine. It was not an especially impressive defence, come to think of it - perhaps three or four towers and about six spearmen.

Now...what, as the general of the desperate human armies, is the thing to do in this situation?

a) Prudence: Form what defence you can while building a small force to clear the Orcish fiends from the goldmine, thereby opening up supply lines and with it the chance of victory?
or
b) Suicide Mission: Spend all remaining resources on creating as many troops as possible. Send all against the Orcish base in the hope a surprise attack will ctach them off guard?

If you picked a or b then you will never make a general in Stormwind's armies. Seeing that lack of gold was the problem, he simply sent wave upon wave of peasants towards the goldmine to bring back what booty they could find. Nothing can go wrong with that plan, right? Oh...it's heavily defended you say? Well the only solution is to build MORE peasants!

Needless to say he bankrupted himself and his army of peasants was a joy to massacre when I finally tired of his antics.


EDIT: Oh right...that's not really background NPCS is it? Well...it amused me all the same.
I've actually had a similar experience while playing Age of Empires II years ago. There was a river separating me from my enemy and he had been engaging in minor skirmishes. I built up 2 lines of defense. One right near the marsh which lead to the area that was my starting point. The second was a very much Helms deep inspired fortress in case things really went wrong. All of the sudden my opponent attacked me with wave after wave of troops. I decided to go into my fortress and fight there. Imagine my surprise when he ignored all the military buildings laying outside of the walls to attack the fortress and sent his villagers to mine my gold. Realizing this I focused on destroying his expensive siege units with my cavalry and keeping villagers away from the gold with archers as my own went after it for myself. He eventually started making less and less units at which point I finally attacked and destroyed him.
 

Irriduccibilli

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Jun 15, 2010
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Oliver90909 said:
Oblivion has some wonderful conversations which make me desperate to know how social interaction really works there. Example:

Man and woman are coming from opposite ends of the market and stop for a friendly chat. It goes as follows:

Man: Hello
Woman: Hello
Man: I saw a mudcrab once. Horrible things!
Woman: I don't know you and I don't want to know you.
Man: Good Day then.
Woman: Until next time.

Wow....Until NEXT time? How often does this ritual take place? Will he ever earn her love with his heroic stories? Sadly I was too busy killing mudcrabs to ever find out.
You really killed one? Nasty creatures

OT: I was playing LA Noire yesterday, and I was inside a train station. A shot was heard and the people inside the station panicked and ran towards the same doorway that would lead them outside. So they all got stuck in the doorway and suddenly they all just fell dead... That was pretty weird. Deadly neurotoxin I guess. God damn you GlaDos, invading all of my games
 

baddude1337

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Jun 9, 2010
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I know a lot of happened, can't think of most of them at the moment. The most recent one was in Red Dead Redemption, a really drunk guy fell off of the second floor in the Armadillo Saloon, landed on someone, which started a bar fight.
 

docSpitfire

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Jun 13, 2011
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Back when I played city of heroes, i was flying around one of the new zones they'd added and had a mission to "arrest 20 trolls" (the gang not the creature) so as I was flying around I think I spot a couple, and I look over I see a group of trolls and civilians grouped in a square around one of those trash can fire pieces (not just like 4 or so, but like a 7*7 grid) and they were all doing the same /dance emote (CoH had a few that it would pick at random when you typed /dance) so I flew over to get a better screen shot, and as I did they suddenly disappeared and were replaced by a standard trolls trying to steal a purse from a civilian encounter...

It wasn't until browsing the forums at a later date that I discovered that one of the GMs would regularly log on to that server and mess with people, having mailboxes talk to them, have set pieces tail them etc. I can't say for sure it was him... but it seems too strange to be a normal bug.

That wasn't the only funny thing I saw civis do in that game, but it sure as hell was the most memorable.
 

Kahunaburger

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May 6, 2011
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Oliver90909 said:
Oblivion has some wonderful conversations which make me desperate to know how social interaction really works there. Example:

Man and woman are coming from opposite ends of the market and stop for a friendly chat. It goes as follows:

Man: Hello
Woman: Hello
Man: I saw a mudcrab once. Horrible things!
Woman: I don't know you and I don't want to know you.
Man: Good Day then.
Woman: Until next time.

Wow....Until NEXT time? How often does this ritual take place? Will he ever earn her love with his heroic stories? Sadly I was too busy killing mudcrabs to ever find out.
Ah, Oblivion. My "favorite" NPC quote is the random bar patron in Witcher 1 who helpfully lets you know that "your mother sucks dwarf cock!" Every. Single. Time. You. Walk. Past.
 

AvsJoe

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May 28, 2009
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I can't think of any glitches off the top of my head, so instead I'll bring up the suicidal cameraman in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Not far from Los Santos, there's a guy standing on the edge of the water taking pictures of the sunset. He is completely oblivious to everything else, you included (I photobombed his ass several times, especially with the monster truck nearby). After he snaps a few pics, he casually walks to the water and drowns himself. This is not a glitch, this is a programmed Easter Egg, but it's a rather depressing one.
 

ReservoirAngel

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Nov 6, 2010
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Oh! This is forever ingrained in my mind because it led to me fucking up from laughing so hard.

Saint's Row 2. I was currently being chases by about 5 police cars, at high speed, over one of the bridges connecting South Stillwater to North Stillwater. And what did I see when I switched the camera to look behind me?

Some guy dressed in "punk" clothes picking up and old lady and throwing her into the road. She screamed, was hit with one cop car's windscreen and flew over the vehicle only to slam onto the roof of the car behind it roll off onto the floor, stone dead. The punk guy just went back to walking as if he hadn't just killed an innocent old lady.

The laughter from this caused me to accidentally go off the road, plough through a group of civilians and go over the rails of the bridge, landing the car upside down where it quickly exploded.

Also, honourable mention in that game goes to any time you see random NPC members of your gang teaming up to club random citizens to death with baseball bats.

Actually, honourable mention in that game goes to any NPC car. You put one bullet in it and it takes off at full speed in any direction, often over pavement and through crowds of civilians.

Additional: In Red Dead Redemption I was casually riding around and saw some dude just running. No idea where to. No horse or other person in sight. Just... running. So I followed him. Up a hill, through some trees... and right into a bear, which subsequently mauled him to death before turning on me.
 

aba1

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Mar 18, 2010
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trollnystan said:
BrokenStylus said:
LE SNIP

Another good example involves a bard in Assassins Creed Brotherhood who, seemingly tired of the music game, ran screaming down to a jetty and hurled himself into the water. There was no evident cause for this behaviour, so I assumed he had suddenly become aware of his own existence as background filler in a game, gone instantly mad and hurled himself to his death. Poor devil.

LE SNIP
That's just pure awesome. I wish I could've seen it =o

OT: Beyond NPCs walking against walls or the like, I can't recall anything awesomely weird worth telling. This makes me sad =(
I have had that happen to me actually it was awesomely hillarious
 

aba1

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Mar 18, 2010
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ReservoirAngel said:
Oh! This is forever ingrained in my mind because it led to me fucking up from laughing so hard.

Saint's Row 2. I was currently being chases by about 5 police cars, at high speed, over one of the bridges connecting South Stillwater to North Stillwater. And what did I see when I switched the camera to look behind me?

Some guy dressed in "punk" clothes picking up and old lady and throwing her into the road. She screamed, was hit with one cop car's windscreen and flew over the vehicle only to slam onto the roof of the car behind it roll off onto the floor, stone dead. The punk guy just went back to walking as if he hadn't just killed an innocent old lady.

The laughter from this caused me to accidentally go off the road, plough through a group of civilians and go over the rails of the bridge, landing the car upside down where it quickly exploded.

Also, honourable mention in that game goes to any time you see random NPC members of your gang teaming up to club random citizens to death with baseball bats.

Actually, honourable mention in that game goes to any NPC car. You put one bullet in it and it takes off at full speed in any direction, often over pavement and through crowds of civilians.

Additional: In Red Dead Redemption I was casually riding around and saw some dude just running. No idea where to. No horse or other person in sight. Just... running. So I followed him. Up a hill, through some trees... and right into a bear, which subsequently mauled him to death before turning on me.
I was gonig to say saints row the NPC's are soooooooooooooooooooo funny they do the most random shit eva
 

ReservoirAngel

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Another one from Saint's Row 2.

A random NPC saw my car coming along the pavement and instead of being mowed down, he jumped over a railing. That's all? Oh no.

That railing had nothing on the other side of it but a large drop. Large enough to kill an NPC, probably.

Another one, this time from Just Cause 2. I used mods on a PC version of it and spawned a helicopter in the middle of a town. Before I could get into it, an NPC did. Seriously, he just climbed it. It was an NPC cop, but still. He tried to take off and just smashed into a building. Dude sucked as a pilot.