The Nerd Label

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

I'm a little annoyed at the nerd proclamations I've seen from various people online, especially on dating sites of all things. If you call yourself a "nerd" you probably aren't. It implies a certain level of social ineptitude in addition to having obsessive interests. There is no such thing as a "cool nerd." It's an oxymoron. So when I see a girl who may have "nerdy" interests (whatever they may be), when said information is followed by fifteen images of her partying with friends, she hardly seems to fall under the nerd category. No matter how strange or arcane the interest is, once you've a bunch of other interested people in the same thing (especially of the opposite sex), it's no longer nerdy.

For example, I play video games a lot. I don't play online, I don't play multiplayer, and I don't know many people who like the same things. However, if I suddenly fell into a large group of friends who also like the same stuff, then I'm not really a nerd anymore. (The internet doesn't count.) I feel the missing ingredient in the nerd status is social isolation. Generally, the lonely of the world develop these hobbies to combat the loneliness and wallow in their own private activities until the end of time. Maybe you'll find friends, but if they aren't interested in the same stuff, it is still somewhat nerdy. Find a bunch of friends who like the same stuff and want to share in the activity, then you're just another enthusiast.

Another example: Call of Duty. A lot of people play this alone in their parents' house for hours and hours without speaking to anyone outside of a few muffled commands/insults through a headset. These are nerds. Other people play Call of Duty with a group of friends, drink beer, and talk. These are not nerds.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting alone on my couch playing Pikmin 2 on the Wii and will have basically no one to talk about it with. I am a nerd. If I had my buddy over who knew how to play, we could do 2 player and catch up on life. This is still a little nerdy - it's an old game about little red guys with flowers growing out of their heads. But still, social at that point.

A lot of girls enjoy pokemon, but I often get the impression since it's a portable game and it often is played while doing some other activity and involves trading and interacting with others, it doesn't really "feel" nerdy a lot of the time. Except when they "gotta catch them all" and delve face first into it like there's no tomorrow. It's a game that seems to move back and forth between nerdy and not nerdy. Even "casual" gaming goes the way of nerdy from time to time, the way my mom spends hours with Word With Friends and tells me about different plays and people she suspects of cheating. Once you get to the point where you find yourself explaining it to someone with a blank faced expression of boredom and disinterest, you have a nerd hobby right there.

What would you say about tabletop rpgs then. Things like DnD.


There is a big social element to it, you are having fun and catching up on life and stuff with friends while you do it and there needs to be a bunch of people for a good campaing, 5 minimum I would say. Those meet your criteria for non-nerdy activities yet are some of the most nerdy things average people could think of.



I think it's the way you tackle an activity, not what it is or how many people you have with you while tackling it, that qualifies it as geeky. Then, if you're socially awkward and a bunch of other negative stereotypes about it too, then you'd qualify as a nerd. The loner part is really not much of a factor. I was pretty much a self-induced-outcast during the later years in highschool but I had tons of friends at the same time...they were just older people or from different schools. I just happened to not match with a lot of the people in mine, I still wasn't the "nerd" or anything, just this unusual guy studying Japanese in the corner by himself. I didn't feel lonely and I still had a few people who I chatted about stupid stuff with during class, none I would really call friends but it's not like I was bullied or made feel I did not belong. It was more the other way around, I just didn't seem to have enough things in common with most of them to form a deeper connection like the one with my out-of-school friends.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

What would you say about tabletop rpgs then. Things like DnD.

There is a big social element to it, you are having fun and catching up on life and stuff with friends while you do it and there needs to be a bunch of people for a good campaing, 5 minimum I would say. Those meet your criteria for non-nerdy activities yet are some of the most nerdy things average people could think of.

I think it's the way you tackle an activity, not what it is or how many people you have with you while tackling it, that qualifies it as geeky. Then, if you're socially awkward and a bunch of other negative stereotypes about it too, then you'd qualify as a nerd. The loner part is really not much of a factor. I was pretty much a self-induced-outcast during the later years in highschool but I had tons of friends at the same time...they were just older people or from different schools. I just happened to not match with a lot of the people in mine, I still wasn't the "nerd" or anything, just this unusual guy studying Japanese in the corner by himself. I didn't feel lonely and I still had a few people who I chatted about stupid stuff with during class, none I would really call friends but it's not like I was bullied or made feel I did not belong. It was more the other way around, I just didn't seem to have enough things in common with most of them to form a deeper connection like the one with my out-of-school friends.

Remember that escapist show "I Hit It With My Axe?" (I think that's what it was called.) It was about a guy who gathered a bunch of porn stars, hair dressers, makeup artists, strippers, and models to play D&D. This was the test of the theory in practice. Is it still nerdy if he's playing it with a bunch of hot chicks and filming it? No matter how "nerdy" it could be, he was still hanging out with people and in my estimation, it was not at all nerdy. In your case when you "chatted about stupid stuff during class" and had out of school friends, I definitely say you were not a nerd. (As if I make the rules, but for the sake of the thread, let's say that I am.)

I also recently found out about a D&D group that a college friend was a part of. He said he and a few guys would hang out and have a good time, but eventually it got ruined by the DM and his girlfriend who got increasingly angry and nitpicky about the game. It got to the point where people quit showing up and it was just the dude and his bitchy girlfriend who had driven everyone away. She didn't like how casual the group was and dissolved it by forcing her nerdiness upon it. Thus, she and her boyfriend are now "true nerds."

Another example: when I was in high school, I was eating lunch with a couple of nice guys I knew from class. Eventually, due to schedule changes and switching lunch rooms, they left, leaving one or two fellows I didn't know very well. They were really into Yu-Gi-Oh, which I knew nothing about, so I just ate quietly. Gradually, more Yu-Gi-Oh fans gravitated to this table, while I slowly tried to drift away. The discussions got more and more heated to the point where people were fighting to get back to the main table, while being stuck at a secondary table with such a social outcast as myself. Eventually even that table freaking filled up. It was high nerd drama, but at that point who was the nerd? Them with their seemingly nonsensical discussions about a children's card game, or me who didn't know anything about anything and eventually found himself trying to find the best place to sit alone, while mouthing the lyrics to Billy Joel songs and studying Spanish. I doubt anyone was whispering jokes about the Yu-Gi-Oh nerds, but I definitely heard them about me.

On a greater level, I think this is where a lot of anti-girl boys-only sentiment comes from on the internet. Girls are just more likely to be social and do activities in a more social way. There was a group of girls I had a crush on all the way through school and years later I saw them reminiscing about Mario Kart on facebook. I played the shit out of Mario Kart at the exact same time they were playing the shit out of Mario Kart, but it's clear that one of us was "doing it wrong." That would be me, isolated in my living room and developing horrible posture because of those stupid short cords on the controllers.

 

[deathzero021]

i think it maybe due to the belief that nerds are smart and therefore not something to hate or fear but maybe something to admire?

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

Remember that escapist show "I Hit It With My Axe?" (I think that's what it was called.) It was about a guy who gathered a bunch of porn stars, hair dressers, makeup artists, strippers, and models to play D&D. This was the test of the theory in practice. Is it still nerdy if he's playing it with a bunch of hot chicks and filming it? No matter how "nerdy" it could be, he was still hanging out with people and in my estimation, it was not at all nerdy. In your case when you "chatted about stupid stuff during class" and had out of school friends, I definitely say you were not a nerd. (As if I make the rules, but for the sake of the thread, let's say that I am.)

I also recently found out about a D&D group that a college friend was a part of. He said he and a few guys would hang out and have a good time, but eventually it got ruined by the DM and his girlfriend who got increasingly angry and nitpicky about the game. It got to the point where people quit showing up and it was just the dude and his bitchy girlfriend who had driven everyone away. She didn't like how casual the group was and dissolved it by forcing her nerdiness upon it. Thus, she and her boyfriend are now "true nerds."

Another example: when I was in high school, I was eating lunch with a couple of nice guys I knew from class. Eventually, due to schedule changes and switching lunch rooms, they left, leaving one or two fellows I didn't know very well. They were really into Yu-Gi-Oh, which I knew nothing about, so I just ate quietly. Gradually, more Yu-Gi-Oh fans gravitated to this table, while I slowly tried to drift away. The discussions got more and more heated to the point where people were fighting to get back to the main table, while being stuck at a secondary table with such a social outcast as myself. Eventually even that table freaking filled up. It was high nerd drama, but at that point who was the nerd? Them with their seemingly nonsensical discussions about a children's card game, or me who didn't know anything about anything and eventually found himself trying to find the best place to sit alone, while mouthing the lyrics to Billy Joel songs and studying Spanish. I doubt anyone was whispering jokes about the Yu-Gi-Oh nerds, but I definitely heard them about me.

On a greater level, I think this is where a lot of anti-girl boys-only sentiment comes from on the internet. Girls are just more likely to be social and do activities in a more social way. There was a group of girls I had a crush on all the way through school and years later I saw them reminiscing about Mario Kart on facebook. I played the shit out of Mario Kart at the exact same time they were playing the shit out of Mario Kart, but it's clear that one of us was "doing it wrong." That would be me, isolated in my living room and developing horrible posture because of those stupid short cords on the controllers.

I have not watched that, I think I remember the title and some image...but it looked like lame hipster BS so I didn't give it a chance.



I agree that hiring strippers to play a game is not the same...since you need people with some kind of cultural understanding and you can't just do it one time, campaigns take months to do. If the strippers also happened to be fans of the game and stuck through it for the duration, I see no reason why it couldn't be that, no. As for myself, I agree, I never saw myself as that, I'm more of the anime-fan type person and I did do a lot of lonely activities but at the same time it was by choice and I had the option of having social activities too, I was (and still am) more of a connoisseur of those things than someone who took refuge in them. I just really like em for whatever reason and being somewhat charismatic of a person (if I may say that about myself...hehe) I don't see why you need to preemptively take the lonely lion approach when you could just CONVERT people though positive explanations and stuff.


As for that couple, yeah, I'd be like that too, I hate casual non-serious approaches to such stuff, I'd make sure no people who took the game lightly would be part of the campaign before even beginning, making sure the rules of conduct and whatnot are allowed. In my campaign we have a tip jar where people put a dollar in whenever they break character and we use that to buy food once we're done. I think that fits with your rules. XD




As for the big yu-gi-oh thing, those were still people who the larger society would bunch together as nerds. They have just formed a large enough coalition to be able to stand their ground and not need to be quiet or introverted about liking the game. I don't think it's a thing which would disqualify them from being into the subculture, you just weren't part of that facet of it.



Lastly, as for mario kart, did you ever...I don't know...make it known to other people that you played it? I mean...common sense really...if you wanted to play with those girls, might as well ask em, right? No need to keep bringing it up but a one-time mention of it couldn't hurt. Maybe bring the game manual with you and read during recess or something. Small things like that open big doors.

 

[RedLister]

Ok i enjoy gaming and take it somewhat seriously somewhat at times. Enough to school stupid GAME employees about the games there trying to sell since they are clueless about it. Why they hired them ponces over me is anyones guess. Shop must of wanted eye candy at the time its a serious problem in my town.

But i also enjoy working out every day (Cardio and Lifting weights being my main two focuses atm) If i fail to fulfill said exercise i get twitchy and paranoid.

Not a great people person...treated like shit too many times for too long...long story. I work alone so yeah im rather awkward socially when im out and about keep on mixing up words or forgetting words too in the heat of the momment especially when enraged.

Not very brainy either i struggle with short term memory. but thats part of the typical and overused stereotype, Nerds being brainy and all that...not the memory loss.

What does that make me?....a walking mystery?....who is very obsessive.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Lastly, as for mario kart, did you ever...I don't know...make it known to other people that you played it? I mean...common sense really...if you wanted to play with those girls, might as well ask em, right? No need to keep bringing it up but a one-time mention of it couldn't hurt. Maybe bring the game manual with you and read during recess or something. Small things like that open big doors.

You see, a nerd would never think to do that, risking getting the manual dirty or damaged. Or risk getting made fun of. Or risk the terror of a basic regular social interaction.

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

Lastly, as for mario kart, did you ever...I don't know...make it known to other people that you played it? I mean...common sense really...if you wanted to play with those girls, might as well ask em, right? No need to keep bringing it up but a one-time mention of it couldn't hurt. Maybe bring the game manual with you and read during recess or something. Small things like that open big doors.

You see, a nerd would never think to do that, risking getting the manual dirty or damaged. Or risk getting made fun of. Or risk the terror of a basic regular social interaction.

I'd think being constantly immersed into the fantasy world is worth the risk. You could always just buy two copies and keep one in pristine condition while enjoying the other. That's what I do with my figures. (yes, I actually have figures too )

 

[Phasmal]

Lastly, as for mario kart, did you ever...I don't know...make it known to other people that you played it? I mean...common sense really...if you wanted to play with those girls, might as well ask em, right? No need to keep bringing it up but a one-time mention of it couldn't hurt. Maybe bring the game manual with you and read during recess or something. Small things like that open big doors.

You see, a nerd would never think to do that, risking getting the manual dirty or damaged. Or risk getting made fun of. Or risk the terror of a basic regular social interaction.

I think you are mistaking nerdiness with a social shut-in. Different things.
Besides, it's fun to nerd out with other people. Talking about games and Doctor Who and other such things with my boyfriend is one of my favourite things to do.

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

Lastly, as for mario kart, did you ever...I don't know...make it known to other people that you played it? I mean...common sense really...if you wanted to play with those girls, might as well ask em, right? No need to keep bringing it up but a one-time mention of it couldn't hurt. Maybe bring the game manual with you and read during recess or something. Small things like that open big doors.

You see, a nerd would never think to do that, risking getting the manual dirty or damaged. Or risk getting made fun of. Or risk the terror of a basic regular social interaction.

I think you are mistaking nerdiness with a social shut-in. Different things.
Besides, it's fun to nerd out with other people. Talking about games and Doctor Who and other such things with my boyfriend is one of my favourite things to do.

Indeed, I mean, I'm incredibly introverted but I enjoy few things more than sharing my passion for various anime/game related things with others who could appreciate them or fostering an understanding about them in people who do not.


He seems to retreat into them and use them to replace and sublimate other stuff, than simply enhance it.

 

[Reincarnatedwolfgod]

i have nothing useful to say about this topic
but picture below is just...

what the fuck

 

[artanis_neravar]

I still think of it an an insult.

One of the higher ups asked me if I was a "geek" because I did the amazing action of using a laptop. I was less than happy with that. I mean, what a *****. That being said, she showed me her ipad for like 20 minutes as if I cared.

That's how I feel about it, mostly because it always seems like it is an insult when a non nerd/geek calls me a nerd/geek.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

I think you are mistaking nerdiness with a social shut-in. Different things.
Besides, it's fun to nerd out with other people. Talking about games and Doctor Who and other such things with my boyfriend is one of my favourite things to do.

Google says "nerd -
1. A foolish or contemptible person who lacks social skills or is boringly studious: 'one of those nerds who never asked a girl to dance.'
2. An intelligent, single-minded expert in a particular technical discipline or profession."

Having been called a nerd before in my life as an insult and having listened to the popular lexicon, I'm pretty sure I'm right on the money with my definition of nerdiness. You can't "nerd out" with your boyfriend. Nerds don't have boyfriends.

Your situation doesn't really fit the second definition either. Dr. Who and video games are widely differing and varied interests that are fairly popular. A nerd of the second classification talks about what they do for a living as though it's their entire world. Look at Jurassic Park. Dr. Grant and Dr. Sadler are boyfriend and girlfriend nerds because they are only interested in discussing and building their lives around paleontology. That's mostly it. I met a girl who majored in music theory and she really wanted to find another guy she could talk to about music theory. She eventually did find someone who was into music theory. She wasn't into much else.

So, I'm sorry to say, according to me and google, you are not, in fact, a nerd. I'm sure this must be difficult news to hear.

 

[DragonStorm247]

Nerds are generally not regarded as "socially desirable". To be a nerd, according to our social training (think high school, etc), is to be a failure in society.

And yet, despite this, we are generally the group most satisfied with ourselves on a personal level. We are passionate about our interests and we are proud of our nerddom. This new "fascination" with nerds is likely some form of jealousy, the desire to be comfortable with who we are.

 

[GartarkMusik]

Ive never felt more like a nerd than when I was explaining the difference between star trek and star wars to a girl and Im not even a big fan of either series.

Not to mention being made ostracized in school for liking pokemon and playing yugioh.

Playing videogames....

It sucks being a nerd.

Hold on, the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek? There are people that don't know??!?
D:

 

[CODE-D]

Ive never felt more like a nerd than when I was explaining the difference between star trek and star wars to a girl and Im not even a big fan of either series.

Not to mention being made ostracized in school for liking pokemon and playing yugioh.

Playing videogames....

It sucks being a nerd.

Hold on, the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek? There are people that don't know??!?
D:

She knew they were different, she just didnt know anything about either, but said her grandpa was into trek.
I mean the only reason I know anything about either is parodies and jokes over the years
and it wasnt until the star wars prequels that I cared about wars.
And it wasnt until the 2009 star trek that I felt I could delve into that universe, as both are old series and slightly outdated.

 

[Vault101]

I still think of it an an insult.

One of the higher ups asked me if I was a "geek" because I did the amazing action of using a laptop. I was less than happy with that. I mean, what a *****. That being said, she showed me her ipad for like 20 minutes as if I cared.

wait....

she called you a geek for using a laptop?...for USING A LAPTOP

I'm missing somthing here right?

 

[sethisjimmy]

Imo for the most part people who self-identify as nerds are people that like to do so because it makes them seem more interesting than they actually are.

 

[Mr.PlanetEater]

I still think of it an an insult.

One of the higher ups asked me if I was a "geek" because I did the amazing action of using a laptop. I was less than happy with that. I mean, what a *****. That being said, she showed me her ipad for like 20 minutes as if I cared.

wait....

she called you a geek for using a laptop?...for USING A LAPTOP

I'm missing somthing here right?

Yes, you're missing the part where she is a time traveler from the 1800s.

 

[Don Savik]

This picture sums up all that needs to be said.

Spoiler

Its people taking advantage of the popularity of games to gain popularity themselves. You will NEVER see the bottom picture hanging out and conversing with the top picture. Its just the way things are.

Its a new breed of evil.

 

[Phasmal]

So, I'm sorry to say, according to me and google, you are not, in fact, a nerd. I'm sure this must be difficult news to hear.

My rely to that is: Tough titties. I'm not gonna give up nerding out cause you and google say so.
I'm surprised you think that level of obsession is required, or that the instant you get a partner you're not a `true nerd`. (Besides, good luck getting my boyfriend to talk about anything but video games these days, it's a freaking accomplishment I tell you that- he's not into Matt Smith as the Doctor).
I don't mind if you think I'm not, because whatever hanging out with people talking games makes me - it makes me happy. =)