"Mr. Mouse, do I understand this correctly: You want a divorce from Minnie because she's... excessively silly?"
"No, it's because she's fucking Goofy!"
"No, it's because she's fucking Goofy!"
The Official Escapist Dad Joke Thread
- Thread starter ObsidianJones_v1legacy
- Start date
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Bert and Ernie are sitting at a bar. Ernie looks to the end of it and sees a beautiful woman, who smiles at him. He turns to Bert and says "Bert! That woman over there smiled at me Bert!" Bert replies "All right Ernie, just smile back."
Ernie turns to the woman and flashes her a smile. The woman then looks him dead in the eye and gives him a huge wink. "Bert! Bert!" says Ernie, "That woman just winked at me!" "All right Ernie, just wink back, OK?" Bert says. So again, Ernie turns to the woman and winks.
Just then, the woman lifts up her top and flashes Ernie. "BERT! BERT! Oh my God BERT!" Ernie yells at his friend. "That woman just flashed me her breasts!!" "All right Ernie, calm down. Just show her your nuts." Ernie, beginning to relax says "Ok Bert. Ok, I will."
Ernie gets up off his barstool, confidently walks over to the woman, stares her in the face and screams "GRAHAHAHHHABBBBBRAAAHAHAHALAHHRRRAAHHHHH!"
Ernie turns to the woman and flashes her a smile. The woman then looks him dead in the eye and gives him a huge wink. "Bert! Bert!" says Ernie, "That woman just winked at me!" "All right Ernie, just wink back, OK?" Bert says. So again, Ernie turns to the woman and winks.
Just then, the woman lifts up her top and flashes Ernie. "BERT! BERT! Oh my God BERT!" Ernie yells at his friend. "That woman just flashed me her breasts!!" "All right Ernie, calm down. Just show her your nuts." Ernie, beginning to relax says "Ok Bert. Ok, I will."
Ernie gets up off his barstool, confidently walks over to the woman, stares her in the face and screams "GRAHAHAHHHABBBBBRAAAHAHAHALAHHRRRAAHHHHH!"
A Mexican magician says he will vanish on the count of three. He says "uno...dos..." *poof* He disappeared without a tres.
Remember, before you criticize someone, you should always walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do it, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on them. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way. Unique up on them.
Remember, before you criticize someone, you should always walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do it, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on them. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way. Unique up on them.
