[HEADING=1]Epilogue[/HEADING]
'So this is what Men feel before they die.'
It was the first sentence Nikolai had been able to form in his head, when, or after he woke. It was hard to tell. His perception of time and space was unfocused. He could not tell when he had regained consciousness, was it several hours, or mere seconds ago? All he knew was, through the fog of the void that hung heavy over him, he had come to realise that he was aware. An indeterminate time after that, he concluded that being aware meant that he must be alive. After all, Nikolai had seen enough things die to know that the people who spoke of afterlife's and reincarnated spirits were telling lies. He had torn Men and Beasts alike inside out. If inside any of them there dwelled an immortal soul, surely he would have felt it as he ripped them limb from limb.
As he continued down this train of thought, he became aware of other things. The weight of his body pressing down on the earth as he lay on his back. Soil felt harsher than he has imagined. That was when he realised he could feel things, and what he felt was pain. From the top of his head to the tips of his toes, on his skin right down to his bones, his world was pain. Nikolai may have screamed upon this epiphany, or he may have laughed, he wasn't sure.
With great effort, he struggled to contextualize the pain. Catalogueing it, separating one injury from another, somehow it seemed to make the accumulative pain less overwhelming. It hurt to breathe, that meant broken ribs, probably. He could move his fingers and toes. That was good, but the real test would be when he tried to stand up, and that seemed like a long way off yet. When he tried he found that he could lift his right arm, but his left hung limp. A dislocated shoulder, it had happened before. With his good arm, Nikolai instinctively reached over, positioned his left, found the sweet spot, and popped it back in. That made it hurt more, but it was a good hurt. Now, at last, he opened his eyes, and wondered if it was night-time, or if it was just the smoke that made the sky so dark?
'Smoke... the crash!'
Too quickly, Nikolai tried to sit up, and was pushed back by a wave of agony. He tried again, more slowly, gritting his teeth. This time, he forced himself to remain upright. Next, standing. He pushed upward with his legs, but his right ankle gave way beneath him, sending him crashing back down again, hitting his head on a rock in the process. Back to square one, he rolled onto his front, which made his ribs spike in protest, and used his arms to help push himself to his feet, putting as little weight on his right as possible.
He thought back to when the Metal Bird hit the ground. He remembered... what did he remember? He had been at the front, inside the hollow skull, except he wasn't anymore. Where were Dmitri, and Vladimir? He tried to call for them, but the words wouldn't form. His face was so swollen and contorted by bruises and fractures it didn't feel like his own anymore. It was hard to tell how many teeth he had left, due to him apparently having bitten off a significant portion of his tongue.
He knew he must find the others, but his vision was still foggy and he wasn't sure in which direction he should walk. He moved towards the glowing to his left. Daylight. Except he remembered daylight from the time before Nikolai. The time when he was The Boy, and it had never been this hot.
Shrinking away Nikolai rubbed his eyes, ignoring the new pain in his eye-sockets and over the bridge of his nose as he forced his vision to focus. When at last he saw detail, a faint whimpering sound escaped his swollen lips, as Nikolai fell to his knees, drained of strength. As he knelt there, staring into the wall of fire, Nikolai didn't even notice as he soiled himself.
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The Widow sat across from him, with puffy eyes and red, blotchy nose. He knew her name. They had spoken several times before the war, but before the war may as well have been a dream now, the wistful musings of a youthful idealist. They had spoken, raised toasts together, laughed at the same jokes. She had been a friend, or the closest that anyone outside his family and comrades had came anyway. Now though, it was easier just to see her as The Widow.
"I..." she began "I w-was wondering if... you c-could tell me how... I'm sorry... I don't, forget I asked."
"It's ok." Lee replied, and after that the other lies came easier. "Chen was very brave, one of the best soldiers I have ever known. Without him by my side, helping to keep us strong, to keep us together, I don't know how any of us would have made it through Bahrain. He was a good man, a patriot, an example to all the Tigers, and I am so very sorry."
That last sentence was true at least, from certain angles. Although he knew it was false hope, as she was too blinded by grief, and he was not the man she had known from before, a part of him wished The Widow could look into his eyes and know the truth. He wished for her to hate him, to scream at him, to slap him and beat against his chest. He wanted her to make him pay for what he had done, for all of it.
Instead, she managed the weakest and most pathetic of smiles, and said "Thank you, Lee." before she drew a rattling gasp, and dissolved into sobs again.
Perhaps Lee was still a true Tiger too. After all, here he was helping to preserve the disgusting lie of it all. Piling one betrayal on top of another for the good of the cause. It made him sick, but after all was said and done, he still did his fucking duty. It was that thought that scared him more than any other. Not the ways he'd changed, but rather the ways he had not.
Lee thought back to the last few seconds of Corporal Chen Dum-Song's life. The hunger in his eyes, not for the gun that he had been pressing against the head of the Iberian boy, but rather the gun that Lee had been pointing at his own. The Corporal had been weeping tears of gratitude as he made his ultimatum, counting down from five. Lee had done what Chen had wanted, that count was never supposed to reach zero.
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"The report is finally in Colonel. All levels are now secure. Mission Accomplished."
"Thank you, Captain Montoya. That is welcome news. Now, I believe I've kept the Director waiting long enough."
Montoya saluted and left Lee alone in his office. Two years of plotting, of anxiety, desperation and determination had come to an end. Except they hadn't. Operation Borealis would never be over, not for Lee. RACDI-Alpha would be his now. Truly, undeniably his, and with it he must work to wash from his hands the blood that had been spilled to obtain it. It wasn't over, not yet.
Lee pointed the remote at the wooden panel at the far side of the room, which slid down to reveal the large video conference screen. Another click, and Lee's office was filled with the unwelcome sight and the Director's expensively dressed girth. He didn't look happy.
"Director." Lee greeted with a nod of his head "You will be pleased to hear that the unrest has now been completely quelled. The Pit is now secure again."
"Spare me the pleasantries Colonel!" The Director snapped. "I will decide what does and does not please me."
'Gladly' thought Lee, but he felt it was best to let the Director finish.
"The Board requires a swift and adequate explanation Colonel. You were given this position because we had confidence that you could keep things under control, and now this?! Hundreds of Wardens dead, thousands of Inmates, not to mention a successful escape! You have just presided over the biggest breach of security on RACDI-Alpha since it's construction, and made us all look like fools! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"May I speak plainly Director?"
"I should damn well hope so!"
"It took no contribution on my part to make you and the Board look like fools."
In his temper, the Director seemed to inflate further with rage "YOU DARE..."
"Yes, I dare!" Lee interrupted sternly "You said it yourself Director, I was put here because I had earned your confidence, because you knew I was the best man for the job. I am a hardened soldier, an experienced commander, and since day one you have been second-guessing every recommendation I have made. Time and again I have given you honest advice on how best to keep RACDI-Alpha under Venture Horizon's control, and time and again I have been rejected by those who lack the will to act when action is most necessary. You knew that something had to give at some point Director, as well as I, and now you see the consequences of your failure to admit it. Your failure Director, not mine!"
The Director looked as if he might burst. "One more word Colonel, and I swear..."
"That you will finish me?" Lee mocked "That you will see I never work again, that you will make me disappear perhaps? If that is your wish, then I wish you luck, but we both know it would be futile. We have only just managed to restore order, and our position is as precarious as it has ever been. Now is the last chance you will ever get to grant me the power I need to do what is necessary. In the time it would take to replace me, this place could slip though your fingers for good; and even if it doesn't, you will be forced to grant my successor the exact same powers.
First, I want complete control of personnel application in this facility. I decide who to hire and fire, and when, with no obligation to waste time clearing my decisions with you. Second, the Board will relinquish its unlimited veto on decisions I make regarding security at RACDI-Alpha. You get one, per year. Third, you will cease any covert surveillance you currently have on me and my staff. Yes, I know about that! You feel you need to keep an eye on me? I will gladly welcome a team of inspectors to follow me around and evaluate my progress, provided they have no official power to overrule any decision I make. Finally, I want a blank cheque on any and all equipment at Venture's disposal for use at RACDI-Alpha. You claim this place is the most valuable investment you have, the backbone of the corporation. Well, I intend to treat it as such. From now on, every Warden in this place will be trained as well as Special Operations, and equipped with the best weapons and gear you have, supported by heavy armor on the ground, and heavy air support, to ensure that we are adequately prepared for all threats from within and without. Agree to these demands, without question, and we just might be able to pull this place back from the brink."
The Director had taken to his cigars for comfort while Lee went through his list. After the Colonel had finished, he was silent for a long time. When he finally spoke, his face was almost completely obscured by smoke.
"You will have what you need Colonel, all of it. Don't disappoint us again. Whatever you intend to do, I suggest you get started."
"I've already begun, Director." Lee smiled, as he raised the remote and severed the connection, before turning back to face the window.
