Nikolai smiled a strangely childlike smile. It was fitting, for sharing secrets in whispers.
"I do not know my name too." he told her "Most are clever enough to call me what I am, 'Dog'. A Dog fetches, A Dog guards, and barks, and kills. I am a Dog, so they call me 'Dog', but this is not my name.
Then there are the few, like Azrael," he said the word out loud in her hearing "who call me 'Nikolai'. They call me this because they ask 'What is your name?', and I say, 'Nikolai'; but this is just a word to them. They do not know the why of the word. They do not care. So for them, this is not my name. It is what they call me, but it means nothing."
He faltered just a little, as if he was expecting to be punished for saying these words out loud, but then he went on.
"Many long nights I have been in this place. Since, I think, I was younger than you. Every one of the one long, long nights, when I close my eyes, I hear a woman screaming. Just one word she screams, 'Nikolai! Nikolai! Nikolai!'. again and again. Perhaps she is screaming for me? At me? Perhaps she is my mother? Or maybe Nikolai is someone else? I do not know these things. What I know is this. Nikolai is a good name, a strong name, for a strong beast. So I take it, claim it for my own. After I do that, who Nikolai really is does not matter. I take my bad dream, and I make other Beasts fear to speak it. That is the why of the word. That is why my name is 'Nikolai'.
Many make names for themselves here. They call themselves Orphans and Dragons, but to know the name, you must know the Beast. They call you 'Lucia', but that is not your name. Lucia was a little girl who lived above ground. In this place, you are what you choose to be, and they will not know the why of Lucia, or whatever name you make. They will not understand, and that will be your weapon."
He leaned a little closer, for this was the most important secret of all.
"Men are greedy as well as cruel. They like it when you say 'Master'. They like it, so they do not ask why. If they asked 'Why? Why am I Master?', maybe they would ask 'Who is Master? Is it Azrael, is it Surface Men, or is it neither?'. They do not ask themselves, so Nikolai gets to choose, and they do not know."