The REALLY Wild Wasteland. (The Fallout RP!)

[freebiewitz]

Crouched over he approached his target which thankfully was turned away from him.
The explosion from earlier had caught everyone else's attention and from the look of things everyone there was a unique NPC.
This meant one thing, unique loot!
Closer and closer he came, the only thing that stopped him from going any faster was the number of people there.
Making too many noises and at least one of them might hear him.
One wrong move and someone would see him.

Any of these events would force him to leave the area and try again.
Maybe even fight if they were hostile to strangers.
Though his interface listed them as neutral it was possible that if they saw him he'd undergo a dialogue session which could end up with them demanding that he pay them for passage or something.

Wouldn't be the first time this had happened.

Regardless he was in a prime position and the only thing he was waiting for was the prompt on his screen that would tell him that he could pickpocket the target.
Bullets, guns, caps as long as it was valuable and not too heavy it would be taken.
Everything else would be more or less left alone unless he had room to spare.

He contemplating dropping some empty bottles actually.

He was almost there, he could practically feel the loot and then...

"Hey! Who's that?!?!"

Shit he was being pulled into a dialogue menu!
As his neck and attention was pulled unwillingly away from his target he could feel the frustration boil as his camera zoomed in on the person's face.
He hated being interrupted like this, scripted events like this always pulled you out of everything even if no one could see you, it was BULLSHIT!
He must've crossed some invisible scripted line!
Well at least no one would call him out on being a pickpocket today.

Though annoyed his curiosity was piqued, the scripted event did lead to a conversation with a girl, an attractive one at that. But the most important thing was the BLUE HAIR!
It lead him to the conclusion that she was an important NPC, a companion perhaps or at the very least a quest giver of sorts.
Maybe she could tell him about all the other NPCs with her, perhaps they were a group, a faction of sorts.

"MISTER JOHNNY HELMET HEAD!"

Gosh that was loud, better to turn down the volume when he had the chance, maybe muting the game would be alright.
After all he had subtitles turned on.
A second later his interface provided several possible dialogue choices, none of them included an option to tell her to turn around so he could rob everyone in the room.

"Hello there Miss, how can I help you?"
(Charisma 2/3) "Hey Baby, if I said you had a hot body would you hold it against me?"
"What do you want?"
"Go away, I'm busy."
"How do you know my name?"

The 'Go away' option was tempting but every single angle had to be evaluated first.
After a moment of thinking through the choices he decided to go with the last one, afterall he NEVER told ANYONE his name EVER, it was weird for someone to actually say it.
Even if it wasn't his proper name of 'John'.

"How do you know my name?" Came a synthesised voice from his helmet.
A curious NPC for sure.
Then there was a hat....
Damn buggy games.

 

[Generic NPC 22]

Somewhere in the Wild Wastelands, Near a Mister Sploded Utterly Black, Formerly Working, Formerly Enclave Twirlybird:

Little Manic Riding Hood was all over the place focus wise, which wouldn't have been an issue in most cases but she found herself being pulled in two or three separate directions all at once.

First and foremost was the story that Papa Johnny Shakes was telling Mister Jammy-Jams (that's short for Pajamas) FalloutJohn that totally engrossed the girl to the point that she had done a 180[sup]o[/sup] turn to listen to Papa Johnny Shakes' story. She was so engrossed in the story that she could imagine herself playing Twister with the Teeny Weenie Itty Bitty Mister Molerats. She could imagine them spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning while screaming "TWISTER" as they did until one of them, most likely the Sky-Blue-Haired-Just-Turned-18-Yesterday-or-two-weeks-ago-maniac-of-a-girl-wearing-a-red-cloak-and-red-dress, inevitably puked.

To her surprise, she did find herself spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning before she quite literally stopped to look at Papa Johnny Shakes with the most endearing smile that she could stick to her face without the use of Photoshop or any other reality manipulation thingies.

"Hey, Enclave, why don't you assholes all pick up and move to the Big Empty. At least then you'd have an excuse for being so obviously retarded!" Papa Johnny Shakes said ending with a moral to his story.

"Papa Johnny Shakes. What's the Big Empty? Where's the Big Empty? Will you take me to the Big Empty sometime with Mommy Meryl Barrel? Can we bring our new friends? Are these our new friends? Can we keep them? PLEEEEEEEEASE?!?!?!?!?" Sylphee asked, giving Papa Johnny Shakes just a few seconds to answer her questions lest she lose track of whatever it was that Papa Johnny Shakes was answering.

Then there was Mister Johnny Helmet Head's turn to start talking.

"How do you know my name?" Asked Mister Johnny Helmet head or something that could have been Mister Johnny Helmet Head's voice or something forcing the Cutest Force of Nature in the Wild Wastelands to turn back around and almost puke all over Mister Johnny Helmet Head's head/helmet/thingy.

"What's your name? I don't know your name? Do you have amnesia? Because sometimes when I close my eyes and open them again, the sky goes from dark to bright. I think I have amnesia. Do you have amnesia Mister Johnny Helmet Head." The Sky-Blue-eyed girl asked Mister Johnny Helmet head before she noticed the hat that had fallen from the sky and put it on top of Mister Johnny Helmet Head's head/helmet/thingy, took a step back and shook her head before putting the hat on her own head.

Airplaning over to Papa Johnny Shakes and Mommy Meryl Barrel, Little Maniac Riding Hood stopped to pose in her new hat.

"Do you like it Mommy Meryl Barrel? Do you like it Papa Johnny Shakes?"

 

[TheDoctor455]

"Papa Johnny Shakes. What's the Big Empty? Where's the Big Empty? Will you take me to the Big Empty sometime with Mommy Meryl Barrel? Can we bring our new friends? Are these our new friends? Can we keep them? PLEEEEEEEEASE?!?!?!?!?" the adorable Red-and-Blue Princess said, bouncing with excitement.

"You don't want to go there, sweetheart," he said quickly, remembering that one time he'd narrowly escaped becoming a lobotomite... Courier turned up at just the right time for him to escape on a nearby rocket, "As for this guy," he pointed to FalloutJohn, "I doubt he's going to be a friend. And as for this... guy," Johnny just stared at the Helmeted John. "I don't know what's going on with him but... he needs a new name. FalloutJohn, me... and this guy... too many Johns wandering around here. FalloutJohn works well enough... and I'm sure as hell not changing my name... again, so yeah... John in the Helmet... you need to come up with a non-John nickname for yourself. Pronto."


Johnny leaned on his rifle again as Sylph interrogated the newbie. Then the hat landed on her head.

Do you like it Mommy Meryl Barrel? Do you like it Papa Johnny Shakes?" the adorable blue-haired wonder said.

"Yeah," Johnny chuckled at how cute she always managed to be, "It suits you. Looks nice. Hmm... reminds me of this one adventurer I hung around with for a while when I was a kid. He kept calling me short-round for some strange reason, and he never went anywhere without his hat and never left it behind if it fell off. Weird guy. Died one especially sunny morning... fell into a spike put full of poisonous snakes and then crushed by a giant boulder that came out of nowhere. It was kind of funny to watch for some reason. Guess all I can hope for is that my own death is that funny."

 

[Rip Van Rabbit]

Lucy had smiled for the first time since the loss of her eye. Truth be told, she was relieved that Shifty was able to come up with something on the spot, something that even made sense. However, the smile lost itself after her eye fixed itself into an icy glare as she slipped back into her cover.

Crossing her arms, she addressed Shifty authoritatively with a slight edge of amusement and warning.

A warning that this was a delicate situation.

"Ever the opportunist, aren't you? If I had known this was your end goal. We could have arranged something more elegant than hitching a ride via foothold. That was risky..." Sighing, she dropped the glare and her voice reflected caution instead. "But it solidifies my cover as a hostage at least. Just tell me about any of your plans that may involve me in the future."

Lucy decided to make the introductions and add an explanation.

Clapping her hands together, she motioned between everyone. "Sir, meet Shifty Mcgee The Illustrious Undertaker of The Wasteland. Shifty...meet Fallout Bob!"

Yes, Shifty. You're sitting next to the man that murdered my Father. Retain your cover. Please.

"And I guess there's an explanation needed for the slow and uneducated...and Fallout Bob. You see, the Undertaker here, was my ticket IN and OUT of the Brotherhood with no questions asked. If ever I had to leave to make a report to an Eyebot, I'd be monitored and marked as a traitor by the Brotherhood within seconds. However, an Undertaker is free to go as they please without the added surveillance...so we worked out a deal and we've been working together. I provide locations of future corpse parties and the Undertaker lets me use him as a hallway pass."

Just go with it! That should cover for you too!

Lucy fixed her eye into a glare that moved between Barry and Shifty. "Just to clarify for everyone present. My job over the past few years has been gathering intel for the Enclave. So don't go jumping to any assumptions that I'm a traitor to this cause. I hate being second guessed."

You know it's a different story, Shifty. I can't give you a signal here!

"Fallout Bob set me free, showed me what the real world is like, now I finally get to see my new home." She said so while running her fingers along her unscoped Gauss Rifle.

Lucy closed her eye for her last sentence. There was an uncomfortable truth in her words that she didn't wish to display.

How far down the Rabbit Hole was she willing to go?

 

[Souplex]

Paladin Fredrick, and Paladin Thompson had returned with Danielle's box, while Danielle tracked Mr. Impotent through Fredrick's rifle's scope.
"Ah, you brought it."
Danielle opened up the box.
The Zeus was one of Danielle's favorite weapons. Frank had taken four Tesla cannons, wired and bolted them to a harness, set them to chain-fire off of one trigger, attached some legs to the front of the harness, and wired all the Tesla cannons to a single back-piece with multiple Electron Charge Pack slots.
It was too heavy to be practical for field use, and required a team to load in new ECPs as they popped out from the firing.
It would also obliterate whatever it was aimed at.
Danielle got into the shoulder harness.
[Strength]While it was quite uncomfortable, she remained standing under the weight.
[Inspiring presence]"You two are on reloading duty!"
Zeus was always Danielle's favorite mythological figure. Her favorite book as a child was a collection of Greek myths.
[Black Widow][Energy Weapons 100]For some reason she identified with a guy who screwed everything that moved, and slew his foes with a hail of energy. She couldn't put her finger on why.
[Energy Weapons 100]Danielle lined up her shot on Mr. Impotent and fired.
Time for Mr. Impotent to ride the lightning!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sam fired on the Vertibird in the distance.
Suddenly, a Replicant was upon him. He was sent flying by the impact of the super sledge.
Jake: Sam!
A coordinated hail of lasers, plasma, and smashing destroyed the replicant.
There were more though.
John: There's always more.
The cluster of replicants was coming from one side.
Jake slowed them down with a hail of lasers while John bombarded them, and Moe came in the mop up.
That looked to be the last of them...
...When a lone replicant ran up behind John, about to smash his head in.
Suddenly a bolt of plasma melted the replicant's head.
Jake: Sam! You're alive!
John: Thanks. You okay?
Moe: There's a lot of blood, and I see bone...
Sam: Did I hit the bird?
Sam collapsed from blood loss.

 

[ImSkeletor]

Zoom listened in closely to the two exhaling the smoke. Every sentence plastered over a hole in their story. Each word slowly building toward a complete near air tight story. Their individual sections forming one prestine narrative. But it was just too prestine. Each sentence was crafted too carefully before leaving the mouth. A person telling the truth tends to leave questionable details that can be filled by follow up questions. They allow it to stand on its own without forcibly cramming plot hole filling plaster over it. This distinction however was rather difficult to explain to a man like Bob without sounding rather Paranoid, so i will not be able to leverage my knowledge against them quite yet. Rather annoying, but they had failed utterly at removing my knowledge that this was a complete and utter fabrication."
Zoom then spoke in his monotone voice, " And Lucy makes a rather pathetic attempt to insult me once again in such a way as a teenage girl, maybe younger. This pathetic obstinate bitterness most likely came from a very troubled homelife. I would be willing to wager that at least one of your parents tortured you, mentally or physically. You did seem to latch onto Barry's superman persona rather quickly and strongly. Holding onto it so closely. You most likely dreamed of a man saving you from the torment all those years ago. It was the mother. Oh I do wonder how Mama Lucy hurt you deep inside. I bet you try to defend what she did to you. That she was preparing you or only had the best in mind. But deep down where those scars lay, you know that can't be true." He smiled at her, but there was no change in his eyes.

 

[wilcoblackflame]

It had been a while now and Marlon hadn't seen either Bob or the weasel, which odds on meant they were no longer in the area or dead. He hoped it was the latter. He really, really did. Rousing one of the few brotherhood medics near the infirmary that had been knocked aside by Bob's door swinging rampage and weren't dead, he got down to business pretty quick.

"Do us a favour and get this fucking piece of steel outta my arm so I can get back out there and not have to worry about catching it on something and doing extra tissue damage. We haven't got all day." In most circumstances the brotherhood medic probably would have been a bit more reluctant to act immediately on a demand from Marlon Van Graff, but with a large portion of the surrounding area rendered a scene of chaos by Bob and Barry, they didn't waste time arguing and set about removing the jagged metal.

In the meantime, Marlon checked his weapons over to make sure they were still in good working order. They were. He knew that, but he needed something to occupy himself while the metal was coming out.

Before too long it was out, the wound bandaged and a stimpak jabbed into the area. Marlon wasted no further time inside, leaving the medic to see if any of the other brotherhood members lying prone on the floor were dead or unconscious, and made his way back topside to see what was going down, coming up just a few minutes after Danielle's crew had returned with her giant electric death ray. "Is everything still terrible out here too or's that just inside?" He had planned to continue along those lines to let then know what had been going on inside, but was distracted by the tesla rig Danielle had going.

"Okay, that's either one of the most interesting weapons I've seen or a really creative deathtrap. Either way I like it."

 

[freebiewitz]

Three Johns in the group huh?
Wait why was he being forced into a group? He didn?t even do any quests for them yet!
Maybe this was the quest to determine if he was going to be part of the group or not. Made sense he supposed.
While thinking his heads up display decided to process a few replies.

?Three Johns? THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!? (Attack)
?You can just call me Helmet Head.?
?I?m Mr Smith, how can I help??
(Charisma 2/3)?Three Johns? Sounds dirty, like me, do you wanna be like me??
(Barter 50/60)?You can call me rich John.?

Mulling over his options he decided to go with the shortest one.
?I?m Mr Smith, how can I help?? He supposed some of them might just call him Smith, he didn?t really mind, anything was an improvement over Helmet Head.
Attacking them was tempting but it was better to finish their quest lines and then kill them all for loot if they turned out to be evil. Besides he was too low level to take out this many unique NPCs on his own. It was better to level up first.
Maybe when he had enough money for explosive weapons?
Another reason why he didn?t go with the Barter option, if he did they might get the wrong impression and start asking for caps. Something he?d rather die for then give away.
After all you could always respawn but caps could only be hoarded for so long.
It seemed many of the NPCs were already fighting, perhaps if joined them he could start looting the corpses while they fought each other and still get a quest reward for ?helping? later.

 

[JokerboyJordan]

"William, is that you?"

The look in the weedy one's eyes as he stared at Hayes seemed to suggest some kind of familiarity with him, as if he recognised him from somewhere. This confused Hayes, who had never seen either of the two before in his life. All he was eager to do was to ascertain their intentions.

The merc stepped forward, helped by a nudge from his companion. He towered over Hayes, his sheer size probably would have intimidated a lesser man, but Hayes stood his ground; unflinching. His mind was running through every possible scenario that would result in the man's demise if things were to turn sour.

"We're friendly, we just wanna talk. Say, if we'd a wanted to kill you like raiders I'd have just shot you as soon as a saw ya."

Hayes grip on his knife tightened as the seemingly harmless attempt to ease tensions only served to put him further on edge. Anyone who even talked about killing him, even in jest, had a decreased life expectancy in his mind.

"Uhhh, hey I don't mean it like that, what I mean is we're clearly not raiders so put the knife away. Now me and my pal Evan here, name's Dudley by the way, are just campin' out. We were gonna be settin' our way east in a while. Why don't we just come over to the camp and chat huh?"

He looked at Dudley's outstretched, checking it for traps. Finding none, the grip on his knife loosened as he became less anxious towards the pair. He sheathed his knife on his chest before tossing up a peace sign with his hand, still reluctant to shake the stranger's hand.

"Hayes. We cool."

Hayes could tell by Dudley's face and voice that he was being sincere, but he still didn't trust the other one, Evan. There was something about him, something more to him than meets the eye. He slowly began to make his way over to the campsite, pausing briefly to pivot on the spot and point his car keys in the direction of the Grasshopper before clicking a button.

*BEEP*

Satisfied that his car was now secure, Hayes plonked himself down by the fireside and held his hands up to the flame, feeling it's warmth seeping into the his fingertips was a satisfying sensation, the kind one gets when they first shoot up Med-X.

Don't blame me when you're dead. I only wanted the best for us.

Hayes shot up from the fireside, having seemingly ignored Evan who was standing a few feet behind him. The boy was trembling in his boots, looking shot to shit. He was going through something that Hayes had seen too many times before; Med-X withdrawal.

He merely grinned at the boy's plight as he placed his hands behind his back, taking unnecessarily large steps as he paced around the campfire.

"Feel free to chat away"

 

[Souplex]

Danielle had opened fire on Mr. Impotent.
"Is everything still terrible out here too or's that just inside?"
[Perception]The Van Graff was looking a little worse for wear, but still intact.
"The crabs are mostly dealt with, outside of some stragglers. There's some sort of situation with a giant robot to the west, but Francine's got that covered. All that's really left for me is obliterating this Enclave big-wig over there."
"Okay, that's either one of the most interesting weapons I've seen or a really creative deathtrap. Either way I like it."
"Thanks, little sister made it for me. It's basically just designed to be a Tesla machine gun. It chain-fires four Tesla-cannons. Now that you're here you can join these two on reload duty!"

 

[maninahat]

Beryl quietly listened to Johnny's story and quietly adjusting the sight on her gun. It looked like she wasn't the only one clumsily preparing for a fight.

"Do you like it Mommy Meryl Barrel? Do you like it Papa Johnny Shakes?" said Sylph.

"If I say yes, will you stand still and be quiet?"

"I'm Mr Smith, how can I help?" said the other Johnny, but not that Johnny, the other other one...the one called Smith

"I'm Beryl," said Beryl, "and you can help by not hanging around. You won't believe the shit I've had to put up with: a teenage whirlygig psychopath and creepy eldritch force, channelled through a drunken pervert. So what's your story? Are you a secret agent with amnesia, a cyborg sent from the future, or a 10 year old boy in the body of a grown man? Because if it is any of the above, I don't think I'll be able to cope another minute of this."

Beryl raised a cigarette to her face, only to find her hand was shaking too much to guide it into her mouth. These people.

 

[RobDaBank]

"Assuming it's the same place I used to know, not really. But I dunno. Been a while. Last time I was up towards Boston." Well that didn't sound good, but then again, they had to have something better than the piece of crap 10mm pistol he was toting, besides it was often surprising what even the most remote trader could have in stock, so maybe he would get lucky.

"Cool! Look at all those lasers!" Stan said, looking around. "But, uh. Maybe we should go faster? This can't be safe. It kind of looks like those brotherhood meanies are winning. I don't want to be nearby if they do."

"Going as fast as I can buddy" Wayne answered, though he was holding back a little so the Enclave badass could 'remove' any threat in their way.

"So, uh, Wayne? Is there maybe something I can do to help? I've got a couple stabby-healy things," he asked, retrieving one of said "stabby-healy things"- a stimpack.

"Nah, I've had so many of those things and they don't work on this bum leg of mine. What I need is a Med-X, just to take the edge off the pain.. I'll be OK for now though" He replied.

They were almost out of the battle now, when the Enclave soldier was attacked by a BoS grunt, though it didn't take much to put him down Wayne still leveled his rifle, just in case. The Soldier didn't even bother with a weapon as he grabbed the grunt's helmet and twisted it violently round, the body underneath going limp. As he dropped the body to the floor a straggling Nukalurk leaped from a pile of rubble towards him, the soldier turned as it screeched, about to engage it when Wayne fired a round from his rifle, straight through the creatures eye, causing its head to explode and its body to fly off away from view in spectacular fashion.

The soldier turned to face Wayne, as if to say 'What the hell was that' To which Wayne called back, "Just proving my worth!"

 

[Generic NPC 22]

Somewhere in the Wild Wastelands, Near a Mister Sploded Utterly Black, Formerly Working, Formerly Enclave Twirlybird:

"It suits you. Looks nice. Hmm... reminds me of this one adventurer I hung around with for a while when I was a kid. He kept calling me short-round for some strange reason, and he never went anywhere without his hat and never left it behind if it fell off. Weird guy. Died one especially sunny morning... fell into a spike put full of poisonous snakes and then crushed by a giant boulder that came out of nowhere. It was kind of funny to watch for some reason. Guess all I can hope for is that my own death is that funny." Papa Johnny Shakes said in response to Sylphee's question bringing a radiant smile that brought images of one especially sunny morning to her face as she turned to Mommy Meryl Barrel, waiting for her response but there was one little bit of Papa Johnny Shakes' story that Sylphee didn't like.

"Papa Johnny Shakes, I don't think your death will be funny at all. I think it would make me sad." The Red Cloaked girl said as her smile dimmed a few degrees, one Daddy lost was already pretty bad. Two would have been too horrible to think about so Sylphee didn't think about it, well not much at least. Still she waited for Mommy Meryl Barrel to speak when Mister Johnny Helmet Head decided to talk instead.

"I'm Mr Smith, how can I help?" Asked Mister Smithy Mirror Face's face which was rather smooth and lacked features such as a nose or a mouth or eyes begging the question:

"(How's Mister Smithy Mirror Face talking without a mouth?)" Came the thought in the Blue Haired girl's mind. Which brought on a slew of conclusions and questions all on their own and ended with the thought "(If I wanted to help Mister Smithy Mirror Face, what would I do?)"

Which started the dumping of Sylphee's treasure sack all over the ground and ended with the girl holding a rather large, rather black and rather permanent marker in the air in triumph.

Which started the marker assault on Mister Smithy Mirror Face's face and ended with Mister Smithy Mirror Face being known as Mister Smithy Smiley Face.

Smiling brightly, Little Manic Red Riding Hood turned to Mommy Meryl Barrel, her lung inhaling deeply as she was about to ask Mommy Meryl Barrel how the hat looked on top of Sylphee's head.

"If I say yes, will you stand still and be quiet?"

"YAY!!!!" Sylphee exclaimed before remembering her instructions and so she froze in one spot, like quite literally not moving for quite some time. Like standing there with every muscle in the same position for the longest time. Like a statue. Sylphee wanted to look her best for Mommy Meryl Barrel and if that meant standing in one spot, in one position for forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever, the Red Cloaked Girl was quite happy to do so.

---------- Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever later 30 Seconds Later ----------​

"omph" The Sky Blue Eyed Girl omph'd as she fell over after losing her balance, falling on Mister Jammy Jams FalloutJohn.

"HI!"

 

[The Harkinator]

Dudley was feeling on edge, this newcomer by the name of Hayes was pacing around the camp with large strides, hands behind his back. What was he doing? Dudley began to feel that he was no longer in control of his own camp.

"Feel free to chat away." Said Hayes, looking around at several things. Dudley was thinking that the man was paranoid or on edge about something. A long (everything is relative) life out in the wasteland had made Dudley aware, or at least able to see the signs of trouble. This Hayes had a drug habit, whether he was drugged up right now or not was difficult to tell. After a long time of substance abuse most people deteriorated to the point it was difficult to tell.

This Hayes kept looking at Evan a lot, shooting glances as he paced. Dudley was noticing it too, Evan was becoming nervous and quiet. He had not spoken to Hayes at all and was purposefully avoiding looking at anything in particular. This had been the case ever since Evan had taken a shot of Med-X to calm the pain of a few Dudley-punches.

Nobody at the camp felt much like talking, though Dudley attempted to make small talk,

"What brings a guy like you out this way, and where are you headed?"

As soon as he said it Dudley regretted it, asking why somebody was alone in the wasteland and where they were going was an intrusive question and could be the question of a sneaky raider. Figuring out how far away from help somebody was and the next place they were expected to be meant the clever raider could pick their targets off without any problem and leave no evidence as to what did it. Many lone travellers or small groups just vanished without much of a trace, a few bloodstains, abandoned equipment and a few spent bullets by the side of the road were all that remained. Other travellers may scavenge the site later or quicken their pace, fearful of the same fate. The settlements they were headed to would wait a few days, looking into the distance for signs of their arrival and soon lose hope. The word would get out that raiders prowled the roads, caravans would find other ways around and some settlements may no longer be visited, causing them to lose supplies and wither away. In this way a single person could doom whole towns to abandonment.

These were questions Dudley had been asked several times by others, and each time these others had been torn to pieces by his minigun or hacked into bloody chunks by his axe. Dudley had only said it as a conversation starter to ease the tension. It hadn't helped much.

"What I mean is, wanna travel together if we're goin' the same way. Roads aren't safe."

DAMN IT, that wasn't helping, saying the roads weren't safe was almost a threat and with both Evan and Hayes on edge the situation could easily get out of control.

"Let's pack our stuff, huh Evan?" Said Dudley, who started packing his things, trying to coax some reaction out of the jittery scribe.

 

[freebiewitz]

"I'm Beryl," said the newly identified Beryl, "and you can help by not hanging around. You won't believe the shit I've had to put up with: a teenage whirlygig psychopath and creepy eldritch force, channelled through a drunken pervert. So what's your story? Are you a secret agent with amnesia, a cyborg sent from the future, or a 10 year old boy in the body of a grown man? Because if it is any of the above, I don't think I'll be able to cope another minute of this."

That was fairly interesting and oddly specific. A moment passes and his helmet soon generates another set of possible replies.

(Charisma 2/3) ?Baby, I can be anything you want.?
?If I was a secret agent with amnesia how the hell would I know I was a secret agent??
?Yes I?m from the future and I'ma cyborg BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP!?
?Actually I'm just a prospector, a vault hunter if you will.?
?None of your business.

Considering his five options he once again dismissed the ?charisma? based option. Who needed Charisma when half of the charm stuff was skill based? If you wanted to talk good all you needed was enough intelligence to sink into skills.
The secret agent option was nice but he decided against it. Antagonizing a potential friend was a bad idea and might cost him a higher reward.
The future option was not much better, he didn't want to appear stupid and the ?none of your business? option was off the table for the same reason as the secret agent one.
So that left the whole vault hunter thing.

?Actually I'm just a prospector, a Vault Hunter if you will.? He spoke tapping his pipboy.

And then the blue haired girl decided to take a pen to his face. It wasn't so bad actually, in fact it was probably positive progress. If he was going to be marked then it meant that he was already a member of the group.
A friendly NPC faction was always good news.
It meant he could piss off harder enemies and just bait them towards his allies and still get the experience and loot.

?Thank you for the markings, what do they mean??
?Get that shit off my face *****!?
?Thanks.?
(Charisma 2/3) ?Thanks babe, now let me show you how a real man does it!?

Though he was curious about the markings he figured he could wait until there was a mirror.
Smith just decided to go with the short reply.

?Thanks? He commented readying his pistol and crouching. Hopefully any hostile enemies nearby wouldn't see him and he'd be able to receive his critical stealth bonus when attacking them. Nothing was more satisfying than killing an enemy that never even knew you were there.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Johnny Truant stared at the man as he crouched down. The hell?

"Umm... what are you doing?" he said, resisting the urge to follow suit and crouch as well, "Seriously, the hell are you doing?"

Johnny looked over at, in order, Sylph... who seemed to be dancing around, as giddy as ever; Beryl, who was scowling at everything again, predictable; and FalloutJohn, who hadn't said a word during any of this. Hadn't even seemed to react to Johnny's long-winded insult. Weird.(1)

(1) Don't worry, Mr. Truant. You're still the freak of the group.

Shut up!

 

[Rip Van Rabbit]

"And Lucy makes a rather pathetic attempt to insult me once again in such a way as a teenage girl, maybe younger. This pathetic obstinate bitterness most likely came from a very troubled homelife. I would be willing to wager that at least one of your parents tortured you, mentally or physically. You did seem to latch onto Barry's superman persona rather quickly and strongly. Holding onto it so closely. You most likely dreamed of a man saving you from the torment all those years ago. It was the mother. Oh I do wonder how Mama Lucy hurt you deep inside. I bet you try to defend what she did to you. That she was preparing you or only had the best in mind. But deep down where those scars lay, you know that can't be true."

Lucy merely turned to face Barry, her face devoid of emotion.

She blinked once, over exaggerated a shudder and mockingly spoke to the foul-smelling fool before her. "Ooooh! Was that supposed to get under my skin? Was I supposed to feel like less of a person after your little speech?"

Lucy started clapping with a smirk on her face and pure amusement in her remaining eye. "Well done, really, pat yourself on the back. Mother dearest did make life very difficult for me...-" Lucy ceased with the clapping and dropped the amusement in her voice. "...but you are completely wrong on every other front. What is this, cold-reading for idiots?"

Time to turn this around.

Lucy's smile matched the puppet's and grew sadistic as her little speech edged along. "Now tell me, what kind of pathetic, weak and disgraceful man are you, if your own mind has to resort to fragmenting your own personality? So you're supposedly the villain to Barry's superhero persona? Clearly, reality is a little too difficult, for the feeble-minded such as yourself."

Lucy couldn't help but mockingly laugh at the shadow of a man before her. "Don't bother answering. Any more emotional trauma might result in a nervous breakdown for someone as mentally deficient as you."

Sitting back in her chair and crossing her legs, Lucy tuned out the puppet permanently with her final words. "Don't pretend to know me, mental failure. Besides, let's face it, if you can't handle reality...then you are not cut out for the Wasteland or any of this."

[hr]

Content with the conclusion of her conversation with the puppet, Lucy crossed and uncrossed her legs and addressed Shifty, still rather amused by the puppet.

"Besides, I couldn't let you get away since there we still have business to attend to, like the matter of the caps that you owe me for that coffin I had to build for you during the Behemoth attack. Even though it would have been quite a shame for my only contact with the Enclave to have gotten herself killed, business is business after all."

Lucy's eye turned harshly on the Undertaker. "You'll get paid when I wish, stay focussed in the meantime and be a little more grateful, I just opened up a whole new line of business for you."

"That is...if my handler accepts it." Nodding towards Fallout Bob momentarily.

Much to her amusement, while waiting for the previously uneventful flight to end, Shifty had vomited all over Barry and Bob's boots. Not even a droplet had reached Lucy.

Oh Undertaker Mcgee, you do the sweetest things for me.

 

[ImSkeletor]

Zoom looked down at he vomit on his feet. "Hahahhahahahahaha....hahahahahahahahaha...hahahahahaaha you need to calm the hell down Lucy. Jesus. I simply tried to give you advice and you shat all over it. Then you continue to insult me for no reason whatsoever. So i responded, then you acted like I instigated the argument. You need to calm down and not let me get under your skin that badly that you after rattle off some frankly ridiculous speach about my mental stability that you know absolutely nothing about. I inferred through facts that your childhood was likely less than optimal. You just bullshitted information from no where. We are on the same side in case you didn't notice so relax and be happy to be alive. No need to shit on your comrade to make yourself feel better. Yeah I think you're screwed up, im screwed up, Shifty is screwed up. Truce?" He extended his hand.

 

[Pink Gregory]

- RECORDING DATE MISSING, RESUME -

"Oh blasted damned fool, Crawver! How could you have been so callous? It's all your fault, not mine, yours, you damned bedraggled fish-fuck! You really believed that this...this...'survival tonic' could really keep you ticking along, in the manner to which you've become accustomed? And you call yourself a scientist? A devotee of empirical data and flawless, perfect logic? You've shown us all up, old boy..."

*No...no I can repair him. I just need the tools, I-I've got a surgeon's hands, I know I do, I was made that way.*

"You'd better bloody hope so, Fish. Just take a look at that poor child. You can't, can you? 'One day I will kill you'. That's what you said to him, and now look at him. Didn't think you could shatter that body any further, but you did, didn't you?"

*No, it wasn't...you don't, I-*

"I'll tell you for one, he stuck with you longer than he did that bloody cow of yours."

*You, YOU DAMNED BRIGAND! Curse you with hellfire you SNAKE! You don't know a damned thing about Udders, not a damned thing! You think I want this drunken sot as a companion? I don't have a choice in the matter!*

"Hogwash! You damn well had a choice, and every opportunity to put it into place, taking full account of every permutation."

*Hogwash? HOGWASH! You would speak lowly of me with hogwash?!*

"Shut up you damned provincial quack, or on your own head be it! If there be a modicum of a head left for it to rest upon!"

*Y-yes, yes I will. Oh Abraham, there's barely any of you left...right. Who among my beloved flock has my medical bag...*

"OH GLORIOUS DAY! HE WHO WETS THE LAND FROM THE WATERS HATH CHOSEN ME TO FERRY HIS-"

- RECORDING ENDS -

 

[Pink Gregory]

"Fishy...Fishy this is pow'rful tiresome; ah liked it when ah were followin' the tubes, they got a trail y'know, a scent; that's how ah find 'em. Mighty prideful ah am, Ol' Abe's the only baw from miles aroun' who knows that smell, but ah tell yuh once it gets inside it's...it's like bamboo unner yer fingernails, like the Japs in that war that time. You gotta find the tubes, or the tubes is gon' chew up yer mind. Chew up yer mind. It's goin' on in hyah. Chomp chomp chomp chomp."

"Yes, yes, alrigh...alright, we'll find your tubes, we'll find your tubes, just, just...this is important. Look I...I listened to you for the duration of that journey; you don't need to repeat yourself, I understand fully. Yes, yes I was crushed against mesh and flesh and yes, I was sick that one time...no, no I wasn't reading the crisp packet I was listening to you, we'll find your tubes, just this is important right now, do you understand? Thank you."

*Well, Crawver. All my resources, all of my intellect, and the triumph of science over fortune has brought you before me. Do you have anything to say? Such things must have lain heavy on that aquarian mind of yours, I should know, I designed it to do that, HAH!*

"...I don't know who the bloody hell you are, but do you have a spare stimpak, guv? We're starvin' here..."