The Really Wild Wastelands | The Distant Past | BlamCo HQ | Sable's Room
One Little Undertaker revealing the truth, Hoping that he doesn't sound uncouth.
Thomas "Shifty" McGee | Sable BlamCo
[hr]One Little Undertaker revealing the truth, Hoping that he doesn't sound uncouth.
Thomas "Shifty" McGee | Sable BlamCo
To be perfectly frank, which when Thomas McGee thought about it, was really a strange adage to use in reference to someone who was attempting to be honest and transparent with both his words and intentions. It might have been better if the adage was "perfectly Lucy" or "perfectly Charlotte" or "perfectly Sable" or even "perfectly Jonathan" since perfectly frank brought to mind the mental image of a power armored thug attempting to souplex a Deathclaw. To be "perfectly Arizona... no not Arizona... William," The Future Former Undertaker of the East visibly flinched and felt a sharp pain in his stomach, as if someone had removed his stomach, turned it into a molerat and the molerat had been given a good wallop by an Alpha Deathclaw that had been heavily, HEAVILY dosed with Buffout and like the very same molerat that had found itself roasting on the surface of the sun, Shifty felt his face get warm as it turned a heavy, HEAVY shade of red.
"Truth be told, I have heard about the Ferrymen.", Sable started, her head resting delicately on one hand, "From you. In reference to yourself. 'Ferrymen can never be judges', as you mentioned before."
Another adage that Thomas was keenly aware of was "You know What happens when you assume?" In this case the answer was not "It makes an ass out of you and me" the answer was "It makes an ass out of Shifty." Though, to be perfectly Dudley, it was no fault of the Silver Swan Maiden that the Darkly Dressed Caredtaker of the Dead had tipped his top hat too soon nor that she was more perceptive than most of his peers in the organization he served. The term "peers," by the way, was used in the very loosest sense of the word when it came to the Undertaker that sat in front of the Graceful Gladiator and his relationship with his fellow Union members. Were Thomas more like his "peers" he might have found himself pointing Mags at Sable's face once again.
There was a brief lull in the conversation, one of those awkward sorts that occurred every 20 minutes after the hour for some strange reason. Glancing at the clock, the Superstition and Silent as the Grave Grave Digger noted that it was indeed twenty past the hour. Was Sable listening to a choir of angels that had flown over the building? Was she paying a silent homage to Abraham Lincoln? Or was she, as Thomas was, thinking about why a silence had befallen them at twenty past the hour. Whatever the cause of the pause, it had allowed the crimson faced ferryman to bring is emotions under control and calmly listen to the words of Sable BlamCo.
"My knowledge of the Undertakers is thus: A Union exists, which suggests an organised movement with a strong familial foundation, not unlike BlamCo itself. Undertakers operate under a broad philosophy that includes studies in various unmentioned subjects, which suggests multiple disciplines and perhaps some measure of personnel specialization, not unlike the BlamCo Valkyries." The Death's Dancing Dame said as she tapped a finger on her teacup, ""You would 'prefer' not kill, which further suggests a measure of control over those circumstances, not unlike the BlamCo Valkyries during mutant hunts or quelling skirmishes that border on mercenary work."
Listening to the Silver Clad Spear-Wielder, the Friendly but Formerly Panicked, Future Former Undertaker of the East started to formulate an idea of BlamCo's purpose and the relationship between Sable's Valkyries and the manufacturer of cheesy yet wholesome food products. It was a little known fact that, once upon a time before the bombs fell, BlamCo had been contracted by the founder and deity of Disneyism, Lord Walt, to provide for and manage all of the food concession stands for Walt Disney's Land. The Fresh-faced Ferryman brightened at the idea that it was possible to form a newly forged partnership, or rather a resurrected partnership, with Sable's compatriots.
"Apparently BlamCo is expecting a visit from another Undertaker by the name of Victoria...considering you are the very first Undertaker to set foot within our home in this generation, the news of not one but two Undertakers would have inevitably reached me by now." The Wise Warrior Woman said, a look of puzzlement crossing her features, "Now, about these Ferrymen, specifically my implied knowledge of 'the Ferrymen', what was once a cute metaphor is now a title that you speak of in hushed tones --- Odd, since I thought it was a reference to yourself after our fight. As I noted before, the brutality of your weapons contradict your nature -- this isn't a criticism. We Valkyries choose weapons that reflect our personality to an obsessive degree, even if our equipment is a hindrance in this day and age. Perhaps it isn't a contradiction and more of a reveal?"
The Knife Wielding Nice Guy nodded slowly, unsure of how to respond to the Warrior Woman's critique of his choice in weapons, a pair of combat knives. To be perfectly Constance, Shifty's use of the knives was primarily due to the nature of the weapon's concealability. Due to his position as an Undertaker, the Good Natured Grave Digger was already at a disadvantage when it came to interactions with the general public. Given the general belief that death clung to members of the Undertaker's Union like a shadow, the simple act of carrying a weapon, even for the purposes for personal defense, would do nothing but make it more difficult for a Union Member.
The rustle of cloth brought Thomas' mind back to reality and the realization that, in his angstian thoughts, he'd started looking into the depths of his tea cup, as if attempting to divine some sort of meaning for this meeting. Looking up, the already world weary wanderer was greeted by a warm and reassuring smile from his honorable hostess. With a smile returned, Shifty McGee found himself reengaged in the conversation.
"Excuse me. I may have said too much, but my point is that no relationship can begin without acceptance, trust and a leap of faith. I just so happen to firmly practice trusting others to an implicit extent. In a world filled with endless negativity, it's easy to lose one's sense of purpose or faith -- so my personal challenge is to be a stabilizer, a balance of relationships between others and BlamCo.", A pair of green eyes shifted towards the room's lone bed, a motion that did not go unnoticed by the usually pale pall bearer, "That extends to my personal life as well."
"Moving on, you can choose to ignore my speculation. Dismiss it. Misdirect me. Silence me. In all of those scenario's, you close the doors to BlamCo, the Valkyries that operate above a simple company's discretion and the resources at our disposal in various manners. This can range from a polite goodbye to generations of senseless war." The BlamCo Ballerina commented, while Solitary Shover's Subconscious unsuccessfully attempted to point out at the top of its lungs that Sable hadn't ruled out her bed as a possible outcome to this conversation.
The Neophyte Undertaker frowned at the thought of a prolonged and wasteful war against an army of warriors like his BlamCo's Battle Ballerina and at the fact that he'd been placed in such a position. Such a thing should have been left to a more senior member of the Union, not to one who had only recently been given his first assignment. Regardless of the sense of ineptitude that had been growing in Shifty's chest regarding the current situation, to it didn't take any great amounts of wisdom or insight to know what the best outcome for everyone would be: Peace.
"I say this, as someone with blood on her hands," The Virtuous Valkyrie said with prideless ferocity, "I am in no position to judge or provoke. We have both stumbled today and I am wondering whether I can find meaning within the Undertakers and their cause. So far, I am very sympathetic...as opposed to the glorification aspect of the warrior culture that BlamCo breeds."
The pale green pair of eyes shifted downwards, her smile having fallen off of her face.
"If a marionette wishes to cut off it's strings, has it become a broken doll or can it become something else?"
"(Can you call it a marionette in the first place if it has wishes of its own?)" The Tall and Thoughtful Thomas wondered absently, remembering Lord Walt's Parable of Pinocchio,"(A marionette parrots the will and actions of its master. It has no will, no wish, no thought other than ones belonging to the one who pull the strings.)"
"While BlamCo is a business aimed at providing dairy-based meals in various categories, our history and methods have been far from innocent. This goes beyond corporate greed, promotional meals appear hypnotic due to flavor, which is only half-true. Addictive substances can guarantee return customers. Taste-testers were required for every single iteration, that's hundreds of subjects for successful...and failed projects. While the Valkyries exist due to family tradition, we also serve as guardians against those that threaten BlamCo. It must seem odd to have such a militaristic and combat-orientated presence surrounding a food production company, don't you think so?," Sable stretched and looked at Thomas intently, "Now I haven't admitted to anything, but I have implied enough. Now neither of us can feel disarmed in this exchange."
If the BlamCo Valkyries were at all similar to the Undertaker's Union, Thomas "Shifty" McGee was fairly certain of what the consequences would be for Sable if word ever got out of the implications she'd made about her organization. The consequences would be especially severe if it was revealed that she'd received no sort of intelligence regarding the Undertaker's Union in return. While part of the Future Former Undertaker of the East wondered if this was all a well acted ruse, as other members more than likely would have believed, a large part of the Caretaker of the Cadaverous and their Clan didn't care.
"So I must inquire, who are the Ferrymen and do their goals align with the Valkyries? A small group of warriors that operate at their own discretion for the sake of BlamCo and their allies." Sable asked bluntly.
The Apprehensive Emissary to the Underworld took a nervous sip of his tea, pausing the conversation to put his thoughts in order. BlamCo's Green Eyed Guardian had put a tremendous amount of trust in her guest when she had hinted at the secrets that the Mega Food Conglomerate was hiding from the world, secrets of such magnitude that BlamCo would have sent someone like Sable to ensure that this information remained a secret. Would it have done any good for the two of them to be on both the Undertaker Union's list of people to eliminate as well as BlamCo's? No... but it wouldn't keep Thomas from returning the trust that Sable had placed in him, naive as the action may have been.
"To understand the Ferrymen, you must first understand that the Undertaker's Union was originally founded with the idea that no body left in the Wasteland should suffer the indignity of being left unburied, as they have already suffered enough in life. In a simpler time, before the Old World was transformed into the one that we know today, far fewer souls were left to suffer this fate. The bombs fell because of the decisions and desires of the few people in positions of power. It was because of an elite few that the world suffered and yet, despite the tragedy's evidence surrounding us, we still allow the few to determine the fate of the many. Even now, while you and I speak over this tea, men and women who, having not learned from history, are responsible for the deaths of a great number of people. My Father's Father came to the realization that a great number of people could be saved from the pain and indignity of dying in the Wastelands, far from their home and their families, in exchange for one sacrifice. It was because of this realization that a my Father's Father commissioned the organization of a group of men and women culled from the ranks of Undertaker's Union. These Ferrymen and Ferrywomen would break the most basic of tenets taught to every recruit when they seek Union membership: Unless it in defense of one's self, do not end the life of another. By killing one of the many Wasteland warlord that have sprouted from the ashes of the Old World, a Ferryman can prevent the senseless death of many others. It was a strict rule that only those whose exemplary actions show their dedication assisting mankind to its feet and given knowledge of the Ferrymen and thus given the right to hire them," The Friendly, Foolish Feeling Future Former Undertaker said, his eyes locked onto Sable's. He paused for a moment, his thoughts wandering once again. It wasn't that he didn't believe in his Father's Father's cause, it was difficult to ignore the rumors that had swirled among the candidate Ferrymen. It was especially difficult to ignore those rumors regarding the identities of the current Ferrymen patrons and that each patrons had been selected because they had the ability to assist the Undertakers with their ultimate goal.
The contemplative caretaker of the departed shook his head ever so slightly, breaking free of the potentially factitious bits of fabricated fiction before giving the continuing conversation between the Blonde BlamCo Ballerina and himself. He had considered using his pause to segue into another topic but he felt as if he needed to make an additional clarification on the matter. He sipped the remainder of his tea, the golden nectar helping soothe his mind as well as his throat, which had started to feel a little sore from this much use after not having a conversation partner for so long.
"I'm not so naive as to believe that all or any of the Ferrymen's patrons are the benevolent type of person that would put the welfare of others above their own survival," Shifty said solemnly as he refilled his tea cup, his eyes flicking upwards to meet Sable's, "I would say to act otherwise would be to act against our nature as humans. However, to return to the question that you posed, those freed from the strings that control them, be that their selfishness or their familial traditions, have the potential to become something greater than they were. We are naught but bodies filled with potential, as it is said in the Parable of Pinocchio. I'll spare you the long sermon, but there was once a puppet named Pinocchio that had been freed from the strings that controlled him. While he was but a wooden child, a facsimile of a human boy, he persevered through numerous tribulations and proved that himself worthy of becoming human and therefore something greater than he once was. I believe that, even in this day and age, we all have that potential."
The previously pale pall bearer felt his cheeks grow warm again, feeling slightly embarrassed at sharing one of the many of Lord Walt's stories. Despite this, Thomas McGee maintained his eye contact with his honorable hostess, the Silver Swan Maiden named Sable, and braced himself for the inevitable stifled laughter, the typical reaction of those who heard one of Lord Walt's stories.
"While I lack the authority to say for sure whether or not a partnership between BlamCo and the Undertaker's Union is possible, if the ranks of the BlamCo Valkyries are filled with members like you, honest and honorable, I would hope that such a partnership would be inevitable." The Neophyte Undertaker said with a small but energetic smile. Despite his weariness from their earlier confrontation, he found himself enjoying the conversation with his lovely companion.
"As for Victoria, she was to meet me at your BlamCo headquarters so that she could assist me in my preparations to depart for the East Coast where I am to take over her now vacant office. While I'd hoped that she'd report directly to your manor, she has always been the sort of free spirit that enjoyed milling with the local populace." Thomas "Shifty" McGee said with a fondness in his voice. Glancing out the window, he noticed that it had started getting late into the afternoon. The Undertaker sighed in disappointment at the prospect of having to leave, "I should probably go look for her. I've already posed too much of an imposition..."
[hr]
The Really Wild Wastelands | Outside Andale | South of Fairfax | Mass Grave
One Lonely Undertaker Stacking Bodies High, One Green Plasma Blast Sent Them Into the Sky
Thomas "Shifty" McGee | Sylph | Arizona | Fiona Evan | Brother Johannes William Knight | Dudley Sullivan
[hr]One Lonely Undertaker Stacking Bodies High, One Green Plasma Blast Sent Them Into the Sky
Thomas "Shifty" McGee | Sylph | Arizona | Fiona Evan | Brother Johannes William Knight | Dudley Sullivan
Stacking the corpses of the Fairfaxian Raiders had only taken half as long as Thomas "Shifty" McGee had expected, thanks mostly in part to the assistance that Sylph had rendered. Eying his blue haired ward, the Friendly Former Neighborhood Undertaker wondered how it was that a young wisp of a woman was able to carry the now empty vessels with such ease. Which was, of course, when the Darkly Dressed Grave Digger remembered who Sylph's original guardian was. The Stacker of Empty Shells absently wondered just how many times this scene had been played during her time with Henry. The thought of the Henry forcing his will upon Sylph caused Thomas' blood to boil and his hands clench into fists. The sensation of blood dripping through his fingers brought with it the realization that the Angered Undertaker's nails had started to dig deeply into his palms. Banishing the thought of his brother from his mind, Shifty glanced towards Andale to ensure that the Enclave's cybernetic defenses had not been activated.
"Father?" Came the Blue Haired Butcher's flat voice, drawing the attention of the concerned caretaker of corpses. Thomas blanched when he realized that Sylph's voice had come from the top of the rather mountainously tall pile of corpses, quite a few of those corpses having been created by the Crimson Menace herself, "Is something the matter?"
"No... not really... and Sylph, could we talk about this whole Father business?" The Fairly Frustrated False Father Figure asked as he gestured for his Daughter of Disaster to get off of the giant pile of corpses. Taking her to the side of the collection of criminal corpses, Shifty looked down at the Red Menace with a slight amount of embarassment, "Sylph... would you perhaps call me something other than Father?"
The Blue Eyed Little Psycho looked at her Bogus Begetter with unwavering eyes as she considered the matter.
"What would the proper term be for a male guardian, that is, one who is responsible for my well-being, protects me and ensures that I am properly cared for?" The Stormy Blue Eyed One asked flatly before turning away to ensure that there were no more corpses that needed to be placed in the pile while Thomas facepalmed at the fact that he'd been out talked by the Scarlet Scythe.
"Just... could you start the fire now?" Sylph's Crimson Faced Custodian asked as he turned towards to the others and motioned for them to back away from the pile of corpses, as the smell would be rather strong when they started burning. Glancing towards the Rouge Reaper, Thomas nodded for her to pull the trigger on her laser pistol.
"Aaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuoooooooooooooo!! Auuooo, Aaauuoo, Aaaaaaauuuuuuuoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" Came a distant and discordant howl that was not the sound of a laser pistol.
"What the fuck is making that noise?" Went Thomas' Loaded Down with Loot Companion in response to the distance and discordant howl that was not the sound of a laser pistol.
"Sounds like a person trying to do a piss poor impression of either a wolf or a deathclaw with a sore throat." Went the DDDDDD cupped Dame of Deathclaws in response to Thomas' Loaded Down with Loot Companion's response to the distance and discordant howl that was not the sound of a laser pistol.
Startled by the noise, the Gifted Laser Pistol's beam went slightly askew and missed the pile of kindling that had been gathered under the mountainous pyre and instead struck an exposed metal pipe of some sort.
[HEADING=2][color]BA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!![/color][/HEADING]
As it so happened the exposed happened to be a natural gas line that detonated loudly, sending flaming hunks of flesh and limbs skyward, which inevitably started to fall ground ward and onto the group once gravity took over. Grabbing Sylph by the hand, Thomas took his Disorder Inducing Pseudo-Daughter and took refuge from the flaming flesh hunks under the wreckage of a large transport truck. Looking out from under the truck chassis, Thomas wondered how it was that he'd ever been a successful Undertaker.
"I think I'll stick with digging graves," The Reluctant Corpsian Rocket Scientist muttered before noticing that Sylph's hand was tightly wrapped around his. Glancing over at her, he noticed the slight smile on her face as she admired the flaming fountain of fire that she'd created. Sighing, the Former Undertaker of the East turned Father to a Walking Natural Disaster squeezed Sylph's hand and called out to the rest of the group.
"Everyone alright?!" Shifty called out before getting out from under cover, "I think we'd better head to Andale before more gas mains explode and whatever made that howling noise finds us."
[hr]
The Really Wild Wastelands | Fast Travelling
One Naked Enclave Soldier #209, Getting burned where the sun don't usually shine.
Enclave Heavy Weapons Specialist #209 | Trixie | Charlie Cannon | Eddie the Dead | Grendal | Vera 2.0
[hr]One Naked Enclave Soldier #209, Getting burned where the sun don't usually shine.
Enclave Heavy Weapons Specialist #209 | Trixie | Charlie Cannon | Eddie the Dead | Grendal | Vera 2.0
"So who are these guys?"
"That jerkface that has my Power Armored Helmet, I think he's called Eddie, the skinny puke in the dress is Chuckles, the smooth talker... I have no fucking clue and same with the Eyebot"
"Where are we going?"
"We're going to Andale to get you looked at. The Enclave has a... doctor there."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
~15 minutes pass~
"So who are these guys?"
"That asshole that has my Power Armored Helmet and Gauntlets, I think he's called Eddie, the skinny fucker in the dress is Chuckles, the screaming moron... I have no fucking clue and same with the Eyebot"
"Where are we going?"
"We're going to Andale to get you looked at. The Enclave has a... doctor there."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
~15 minutes pass~
"So who are these guys?"
"Eddie, Chuckles, Fuckwad and Eyebot"
"Where are we..."
"Andale."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
~15 minutes pass~
"So who ..."
"Dick, Cock, Berry and Anal Beads!!"
"Not them. That guy!"
"Oh that's a Behemo...fuck..."
[hr]
The Really Wild Wastelands | Springvale Elementary
One Bloody Cat Scout Stuck Inside, Hopefully After This Her Brain Won't Be Fried
Constance Sorrowfeld
[hr]One Bloody Cat Scout Stuck Inside, Hopefully After This Her Brain Won't Be Fried
Constance Sorrowfeld
If one had the ability to imagine how it would feel to have a pulse emitter for a millimeter wave radar system pointed directly into one's skull, then it could be said that you either have a very vivid imagination or that you have pointed a millimeter wave radar system at your own skull. Suffice to say that it is not the most pleasant of experiences as the radar pulses do cause the slightest of vibrations in a person's skull meats. While the individual pulses don't cause too much of an issue, the cumulative effect of thousands of pulses was enough to cause the blind American Enclave Scout of America a mildly severe amount of pain.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..." Constance moaned, her head feeling as if it was both attempting to explode out of her brain and spontaneously combust, which in a way it was since the radar waves piercing through her brain had been imparting some of its energy to the girl's brain tissues which was converted into heat.
"Constance? I think I see the problem with your 'ear', so I'm going to go ahead and take off the casing, disable it temporarily, and once I make sure the emitters are properly lined-up, I'll turn it back on. You may feel some disorientation or discomfort, but that should be normal, I think..." Constance could hear Miss Jenna's voice through a haze of "OMG IT HURTS!"
There was an audible click and then everything went dark, not that it wasn't dark before given that the Girl with the Kitty Cat Tail didn't exactly see things. To describe exactly how the Sonar Guided Scout saw the would would have been as difficult to describe as someone attempting to describe what the color blue looked like to someone that had never seen in color. Regardless of this, it probably would have been better if Miss Jenna had left the Echolocating Enclave Enthusiast's ears turned on, otherwise she might not have flinched when she heard a trio of SMACKS! when the Faceless Female Follower decided that smacking her Pipboy next to the head of a blind girl was a good idea.
SMACK SMACK SMACK!
The Blind as a Bat Amateur Shotgun Surgeon flinched in response to the banging, her head movement tugging a bit on the cable connecting Constance's skull to Miss Jenna's pipboy.
"Ow ow ow woooow!" The Suddenly Seeing Enabled Scout exclaimed once her ears were re-enabled. Testing her "vision," Constance panned her ears left and then right before focusing on Miss Jenna's "face"
"uhhhh... that's better... Wh... what happened to Mister Jonathan... and Miss Kristen?" The Concerned about the Welfare of Others Kitten asked as she tried to get up, find that a bad idea since her brain was a little on the over-easy side.