The right to complain...

[Capt. Crankypants]

Right now, things in my life are looking pretty drab. I'm real short on money, was dropped from a job I liked about a month ago because I was too expensive to keep, and a chronic injury in my foot keeps threatening to end the sport/hobby that I love (and have spent the last 4-5 years becoming insanely good at). Naturally I feel pretty down about how things are going, but I can't bring myself to bring it up or talk to anyone about it because frankly, I don't feel like I have the right to complain about it. There are a few things that kinda keep me going, I'm quite handsome, have a wonderful family etc. and so every time I think "man, shit kinda sucks right now" I stop myself because I throw the 'other people have it worse' thing in my own face before someone else can.

So, little anecdote aside, what DOES give someone the right to complain about things? God knows there are enough people who DO complain about things. There's a whole website dedicated to 'FML' (but I think those people are just tossbags anyway...), and a large portion of any given conversation between friends is discussing recent hardships, in almost a competitive manner (see Monty Python's four Yorkshiremen), about how long or hard someone had to work the other day, or being hit by another car or being underpaid one week or whatever. So why do they? Do you?

 

[Sightless Wisdom]

A complaint is just another thing to talk about, until someone tries to solve the problem. I complain all the time but I don't really expect things to change and I don't really have big enough problems to warrant solving. The thing is... life is just a bunch of challenges that you need to overcome in creative ways if you expect to survive. Naturally the biggest topic of discussion between people is going to be what challenges they themselves have and how they intend to solve them.

 

[Jubbert]

Whatever you think justifies it. If you don't think you're justified in your complaining, don't do it. If you think you are, go nuts.

 

[Mr Thin]

Because it feels good, especially when other people sympathise. Even if you know you brought your troubles on yourself.

I suppose, technically, we all have the right to complain about anything, with free speech and all that.

It's not just what you're complaining about, but who you're complaining to. Getting pissed off because you got an ice-cream cake for your birthday when you're lactose intolerant may seem reasonable, but you shouldn't expect any sympathy if you told a starving Ethiopian.

Edit: I figure you're allowed to complain if you're willing to take steps to remedy the situation. If you're complaining because you hope someone else will make everything better, you can bugger off.

 

[the spud]

You are justified to complain whenever you think it may actually get people motivated to fix the problem for the better.

 

[OutforEC]

Edit: I figure you're allowed to complain if you're willing to take steps to remedy the situation. If you're complaining because you hope someone else will make everything better, you can bugger off.

This kinds sums up my thoughts as well. If it's something you can't change, then complaining about it is pointless. If it's something you can change but haven't tried, then complaining is just another word for whining. The only times that complaining seems to be worthwhile is when you're either venting (as long as you have a willing listener), or looking for input/advice in an attempt to change whatever it is you're complaining about.

 

[Phishfood]

I'd say a chronic injury does give you the right to complain. I know exactly how you feel, I've had whiplash for the last 8 months and its killing me. Can't go to the gym, can't carry things I'm going stir crazy.

Anyhoo, complaining is a human right. It makes us feel better. Of course, anyone listening to complaints equally has the right to think "what a whiny git". That's life.

 

[MrMixelPixel]

I'm a strange complainer...

I complain about the tiniest annoyances. My feet hurt, it's hot, this is boring, etc. However, I attempt to do it in a satirical form and generally know when people are in the right mood to hear my bitching. I mostly do it around friends as an extra precaution.

I can not ,however, bring myself to complain about anything major. Like home life, negative emotions, stress, injuries, and stuff like that. I feel that is more of a serious matter that I'd like to shy away from.

 

[RandallJohn]

I think a person should only complain about something if they've tried to do something about it. Just my two cents.

 

[Instinct Blues]

Everyone has the right to complain at some point in their life because not everything will go your way and people get their frustration about that through complaining. Thats especially if they can't do anything about it at the present time. I mean because really your hands are tied when you can't do a damn thing about what is/went wrong and thats when complaining is the only thing you can do to get out your frustrations.

I really don't complain that much because if something is out of my control I can't do anything about it so why waste the time thinking about it. It doesn't bother me when people complain, but it does bother me when thats all they do. Its like you ask someone how their day went and then they launch into this whole about how everything sucks. I mean something good must have happened today even if it was a miniscule event it still brought happiness. When people complain about their computer being to slow or their cellphone not getting reception that pisses me off because to quote Louis CK "Everything is amazing and nobody is happy."

 

[Loner Jo Jo]

Well, I'm a woman so most people would say I've mastered the art of complaining.

Seriously, though, yes, someone is always going to have it worse off than you, but that doesn't negate the fact that your problems are troubling to you. If you feel the need or desire to talk to someone about what's going on, do it because you'll probably feel better afterwards. Sure, merely talking about the problem won't make the problem go away, at least in your case, but one, releasing these negative emotions in a positive manner is healthy and refreshing. Furthermore, "complaining" (I wouldn't use this word in your situation because you have legitimate problems you are facing) gives you an opportunity to let the people your close to in on your life and they can prove to be a powerful support base. Even if the problem is something you can't fix, knowing that there are people there who have your back is comforting.

(Side note! Captcha: Great Imedici. If I ever become a magician, that will totally be my stage name.)

 

[theevilgenius60]

I complain to make myself feel better. It gets out the pressure for me. I make sure to let everyone know this so they don't misunderstand and think that I have it bad( or that I think I do). When I complain it's just me releasing some steam, and it's ok for you to do it too. Just let them know that's what it is.

 

[Ambi]

Damn, what will you take up now? Lawn bowls? Table tennis?

[sub]Sorry...[/sub]

I admire your attitude, Lucas.

I think complaining is acceptable when:

a) It's kind of hilarious,
b) A problem needs to be identified to be fixed (in a practical or abstract sense)
c) People around you aren't sick of hearing your woes

It's okay to vent sometimes to find people who can relate to your problems or give sympathy, so long as complaining doesn't define your life and you're genuinely looking for solutions and positives.

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

the "other people have it worse" never works for me. It never makes me feel better about my situation and it only makes me feel guilty about taking my fortune for granted.

 

[Cyberdelic]

There is no such thing as the 'right' to complain, and it really irritates me when people suggest that there is. Everyone has the freedom do to as they please regardless of others by the simple fact hat we can because we have vocal cords, we are then restricted what we can or cant say by law because of the 'freedom of speech' acts of various countries. But these in the west are fairly liberal. What you mean is 'is my complaint valid'. The validity of your complaint stems purely from your subjective view point and evidence to back that complaint up.

If life sucks for you, it sucks. Its subjective. But please don't ask if you have the 'right' to complain when 'rights' are invisible constructs of law used to restrict society to form social norms.

 

[Nouw]

Everyone has the right to do so. It shouldn't even be called a 'right' because it's a way of further worsening your situation letting out your thoughts.