The single most destructive phrase...

[Unsilenced]

I usually hear "First world problems" in a sort-of joking way. You know, in regards to actually trivial problems, and often to the problems of the speaker.

It is rude as fuck though to imply that just because there is somewhere someone suffering more, you can't complain about anything. I'm pretty sure that, by that logic, even someone starving to death can't complain because somewhere there's someone else that's starving to death while on fire. It's just ridiculous.

 

[Guffe]

I have two.
number one: I don't believe in the Moon Landing
number two: Vitun Huora (it's my native language Finnish)
If you say the second one to someone who understands Finnish you're pretty much screwed.

 

[5-0]

I have two.
number one: I don't believe in the Moon Landing
number two: Vitun Huora (it's my native language Finnish)
If you say the second one to someone who understands Finnish you're pretty much screwed.

My super detective skills lead me to guess that Huora probably means whore. Am I right?

Dayum, everyone's chosen the good ones. It's not the most destructive, but I would nominate "fair enough" as being particularly annoying to me. It suggests the person has no interest in what you're saying and has nothing to contribute. And then the conversation just grinds to a halt.

 

[Matt King]

does this make me look fat?
can lead to fucking doom

 

[Alexnader]

FUS RO DAH!

 

[JustShyofGenius]

"We need to talk."

 

[GoldenDragon14]

"Butt-hurt" and/or "fan boy". Whenever I hear someone use those words in reply to an argument I make I get incredibly irritated. Also, when people mumble when they talk to you, and you ask them to repeat what they just said and they say "Oh, it's nothing". I hate that.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

"I hate Nathan Fillion".

Irrelevant. Will never happen. Can never happen.

Most destructive phrase...

'You can handle that right?'

No. Actually I can't. I'm alreayd helping with a student induction for 200 new students and I'm handling UCAS, which is approximately 100 of our old students, and all of this is coming to a head on the same day. No I cannot also handle proof-reading the entire student handbook, student welcome pack, student guide and induction handbook (400 collected pages) by the end of next week.

But unfortunately I'm a lowly intern who is underpaid at the best of times anyway, and you have outright admitted you're exploiting me, so I know that if I don't do what you've asked then I can expect to be leaving by the end of the month and there isn't a better job (or indeed any jobs) out there, so yes, I suppose I can 'handle' that.

This isn't at all based on something that happened yesterday, why do you ask?

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

"You wouldn't understand" is a good one. Nothing like implying that your logic exists on a higher plane that the other person couldn't possibly interact with.

Of course sometimes this one is entirely true. A girl once told me I could understand what it was like to have periods and you know what? I agree with her. I can understand pain, I can understand bleeding, but I can't understand having a uterus which is shedding lining on a monthly basis.

I can't understand a lot of things, and I know for a sure shooting fact that other people can't understand some things about me. The fact that anyone anywhere could say about someone with depression 'just cheer up, look at all the good things you've got.' No, no you can't, and someone with depression can understand that. When I've spoken to other people who have depression they understand, because they know exactly how your thoughts actually change, but you can see when you speak to someone who's never had it that they just don't get it. They don't understand how your own thoughts can betray you so much, and you can be aware that you're becoming depressed and still can't do anything about it.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

"That's debatable."
"Agree to disagree."
"I'm done arguing with you."

The first one was a favourite of some stoner prick in University who couldn't argue for f*ck yet responded to every point he didn't like with that line AND THEN DIDN'T DEBATE IT! I literally had a 20 minute conversation with him where his every response was to say 'debatable', ignore my points and keep going with whatever he was saying. I had to be physically restrained.

 

[Offworlder_v1legacy]

"You're a great guy and all....".............................Obliteration.

 

[Vamantha]

At the age of 22 I am still in wonder of how I am still given this phase from time to time "Maybe your parents can pay for this." It's embarrassing enough that I don't have the money for whatever it is I'm trying to buy. Then out of no where I am suddenly too stupid and young to take care of myself financially that I need my parents to help me out. Thanks...

"Stop being depressed." Oh, thank you wise one. I'll get right on to that once I finish embalming my childhood.

"You wouldn't understand." Maybe I don't. Maybe there is some deeper hidden meaning behind this. Or maybe your just saying that because you think I'm stupid and have never had a human emotion or event in my life.

"You think your problems are hard." You know what fuck off. Take your more important problems and go fuck them until they spray out magic solution juice. Everyone's problems are important to them. To dismiss them in such a rude and superior gesture is hurtful and selfish.

 

[OniaPL]

"You must do things the way others do them. You must follow the rules society presents you. Doing otherwise will only get you fucked."

Well fuck you.

 

[Doclector]

Telling someone that is freaking out to "Relax" is probably one of the worst ways to get them to calm down

I agree, but I've had "Chill the fuck out dude!" work before. What really annoys me is when people say First World problem.

God I hate first world problem. It's the most unhelpful phrase ever. "Oh, your laptop isn't working properly? Well, seeming as it's not the biggest problem in the world, you're a terrible person for complaining about it." Imagine how little would get done if we only cared about the worst problem in the world. People would just sit around, not fixing machines because nuclear missiles still exist. Doctors would sit around not giving a shit about broken limbs because hey, some people have cancer. It'd literally make every other problem a billion times worse because nobody gives a shit.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

"Agree to disagree."

Oops, I use that one a fair bit. Generally I roll it out when I find myself in an argument with someone who isn't taking anything of what I'm saying on board and I want a quick out because I'm sick of banging my head against a brick wall - metaphorically speaking.

OT: I tend not to get riled up by things that people say, but you can be damn sure that if someone trots out the phrase "I don't mean to be offensive, but ... " the next words out of their mouth will be offensive.

 

[Surpheal]

"In my opinion..." or "that is just my opinion"
Yes, I none that it is your opinion, I can figure that out by myself. Telling me this will result in an unforeseen blow to the head.

"There are children here"
You will typically hear this accompanied by them telling you not to do something, which will more often than not cause me to do it more.

Once heard someone say "Y.O.L.O." in public once, felt the urge to test sand see if that is true.

"lol"
If you say this in front of me and you are, in fact, not laughing out loud, I will make you scream out loud.

 

[Doclector]

It's not so much that this phrase causes havoc but it's a sure sign that a shit-storm is imminent.

Spoiler

It's fine

Is it a sign of my over exposure to zombie media that I instantly thought of someone saying "It's fine" while hiding a bite?

 

[OMGMOO]

No one seems to have said this yet, but when my brother was still living at home, this was the one word question that would spark World War 3 through 100:

"What?"

You see, the tension would build silently over the course of about a week, and my mothers attitude towards him would become sourer and sourer, to the point where he'd notice and ignore it until the sourness was unignorable. Usually it was followed by a response of "Nothing." in the most sarcastic tone you can imagine and then it would escalate. My brother has moved out now, thank Christ.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Using science, maths and some questionable interrogation methods I was able to narrow down the phrase that would piss off the most people all at once.

"Rape is a feminist myth."

It mainly pisses of women, specifically women who consider themselves feminists, but it gets everyone if you say it right and the people don't know you're taking the piss.

 

[Mr Smith]

An sentence where "versus" is used as a verb. I'm a regular at a local wargaming shop, and whenever someone says "I versed him", "Can I verse you?" or anything along those lines, it brings out my inner Grammar-Nazi, and nobody likes those.

"We need to talk", or words to that effect, are never followed by anything good. That being said, people who use that phrase and folow it with something mundane and routine will often get an earfull from me for causing me to stress over someting ultimately unimportant.

Incedently, a friend of mine has recently pointed out that I say "That being said" a lot. I don't know how I feel about this.