The slow death of politeness

[Serinanth]

I'm in central Massachusetts.
While on foot I have not noticed much of a change, it's hit or miss of course. Some people almost seem like they want to shut a door in your face, but they thankfully seem to be a minority. Most will hold the door for you, some even while they have groceries and whatnot in hand.

However.

Driving? My god, its gotten bad on the roads. I have noticed a serious decline in directional signal usage, and the amount of psychopaths that seem like they are actually trying to kill you has gone up drastically.
I still always use my signals and I am fairly certain the decline is due to the "Challenge accepted" mentality people seem to take. You want to get in my lane? In front of me? I'll kill you! So people don't give any warning what they are going to do so there is no chance of assholery.

The Oatmeal sums this up pretty damn good.
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/minor_differences

I've been around and location seems to make a big difference in the general politeness I have experienced. Ireland blew my mind, everyone was so nice and polite, I have yet to experience that level of simple wide-spread kindness to strangers in the US.

 

[Wolf-AUS]

I think it's these douche bag party freaks in my age bracket. They are so annoying and RUDE. While I like to keep my manners instead of giving then up to look like a tool.

D:

I'm a pretty big party goer, I'm only 3 years older than you. I also have manners, and now I'm hurt

Sorry about that. xd

I mean people that push people out of the way or just bash people in just for looking at their girl. lol.

Basically Jersey Shore kinda douche bag.

I meant no offense!

It's ok I'm the one dancing with their girlfriends and somehow avoiding fights. I just go to clubs to dance, all the way until the sun comes up. I know exactly the type of people you mean though, they definitely do exist in the clubbing scene.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

I am a polite man. I hold doors open for people, always say please and thank you and am respectful in conversation. However, a lot of people now seem to have forgotten what manners are. Why, dear escapist?

Did you move from up north recently? My wife swears people up north are less polite. I will admit (as a northerner) there is some truth to that.

Perhaps the internet is to blame for some of it, the fact that we have become very cold in our texts that even "ty" no longer means "thank you" it means what we say after someone gives us info.

 

[omega 616]

I am a polite man. I hold doors open for people, always say please and thank you and am respectful in conversation. However, a lot of people now seem to have forgotten what manners are. Why, dear escapist?

Did you move from up north recently? My wife swears people up north are less polite. I will admit (as a northerner) there is some truth to that.

Perhaps the internet is to blame for some of it, the fact that we have become very cold in our texts that even "ty" no longer means "thank you" it means what we say after someone gives us info.

Well show your wife from 1:48 to about 2:40. =D

(there is also a gamer joke slightly later on)


I think it is just 'cos when you hear some body be polite you don't think any thing of it but when you hear somebody be rude or not say please/thank you, you remember it as "what a rude person!" and it sticks in your mind more.

 

[Toaster Hunter]

I work in retail, so rudeness is part of the job. I cannot count the times someone has just thrown the money at me rather than hand it, and the words "please" "thank you" and "excuse me" are all but forgotten.

 

[w9496]

Do you live in a small town? Small towns like mine are pretty nice and polite(5000 people).

I've been to bigger cities before, and I always notice the sudden change in peoples behavior towards each other. It seems like all common courtesy becomes uncommon.

 

[Basement Cat]

I am a polite man. I hold doors open for people, always say please and thank you and am respectful in conversation. However, a lot of people now seem to have forgotten what manners are. Why, dear escapist?

It may comfort you somewhat to know that people still treat each other nicely. I live in north Alabama. One of the positive stereotypes here is the "Southern Gentleman". Men routinely open doors for women--and other men--and are surprisingly polite to strangers in general.

Part of the downfall of general courtesy in America is attributed--partly, and not necessarily accurately--to the feminist movement from the 60's and 70's. Long story short: Because men's opening doors (etc) for women was viewed by "Fema-nazis" as 'trying to keep women down' for a long time there when men opened doors for women some women would complain and gripe saying things like "Do you think I can't get the door for myself?", that sort of thing.

It never happened to me, but it did to some of my friends. Fortunately that sort of reaction (here in the South, at least) has gone the way of the dinosaurs. Like I said, people are generally courteous to everyone.

Another part of the loss of courtesy may be the impersonal nature of modern society where neighbors don't know each other and communities where people socialize are disappearing.

Plus TV and the internet. People--especially kids--learn by watching others. Entertainment has less courteous actors/actresses and more "In your face" shock behavior. Not exactly the best examples for kids to have, but even if you limit their TV viewing they pick up a lot of their behavior at school. So unless you home school your children their development will be heavily influenced by the TV shows, games, music, etc, that other children enjoy--precious little of which places any emphasis on personal courtesy, positive or negative.

 

[Fappy]

Oh, rubbish.

Don't know where you live, but the vast majority of people I know are generally polite.

Pretty much this.

I live in the south (US) where it'd be abnormal if someone didn't hold the door open for you.

 

[Angie7F]

In Japan i wouldnt expect someone to hold the door open for me, but everyone is very polite in general.
I definitely think it depends on who and where you hang out with...
In every country there are well brought up people with manners, and not so well brought up people with out manners.
Of course "well brought up" refers to upbringing, not wealth in this matter.

 

[McMullen]

Depends on where you live. When I lived in Texas people were very polite and friendly. In the schools of Pierce County Washington, people would actually ridicule me for being polite. How polite people are seems to depend more on where your community is on the spectrum between shithole and nice place.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Perhaps some of the 'polite' people in question aren't quite as civil as they like to think they are? Perhaps they're harbouring a condescending attitude that enables them to subtly belittle those around them without directly insulting them per se; baiting the other person into making a more laconic retort and then acting shocked and offended that some people have the temerity not to take so kindly to their supercilious demeanour in order to give themselves the moral high-ground and further feed their ego? Perhaps the kind of people who are actually courteous and amicable are those with the humility not to brag about it? Just a thought. (Not to necessarily imply that this is applicable to anyone in this thread, just a general attitude I've observed.)

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Ah, double post, how discourteous of me.

 

[Woodsey]

I think it's these douche bag party freaks in my age bracket. They are so annoying and RUDE. While I like to keep my manners instead of giving then up to look like a tool.

D:

"I AM SO POLITE UNLIKE THESE MASSIVE FUCKING TWATS."

I live in a rather small village, and even though I hardly know most of the people, I greet everyone politely. You can't do that in a city.

Well no, you'd be stood in one spot all day every day.

OT: Perhaps they just don't like the cut of your jib.

 

[CannibalCorpses]

Most people are polite in real life but when you dredge the anonymous internet you tend to find everyone is a [insert your own choice of abuse here]. It's probably just that you remember the dipshits more because they stand out a mile...me? I worry about the quiet gentle ones

 

[GTwander]

People have a serious attitude problem that is amplified when witnesses are present.

Example:
My father and I were at the beach boardwalk one day and he turned to a cigarette-smoking woman in her early twenties and said "be careful, cops around here hand out $500 fines for that" (no smoking in many parks anymore, America is dead as I know it). She turned to her friends, scoffed, and then said "why is this guy talking to me?".

This is why I give zero fucks and give zero favors.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

I'm from Sydney, and as far as I can tell it's just that people mind their own business. I hold doors open, say good morning to people sometimes, generally give up my seat(not for everyone and only when I'm feeling generous), but I understand keeping to yourself. I maintain a scowl when going through the city so volunteers don't hand me f***ing pamphlets, and I try to look like I'm going somewhere so people don't get in my way. But I'm cursed with this approachfulness I don't know why I have, people ask me which platform to go to all the time and instead of brushing past and maintaining a scowl, I take a pamphlet when offered, even if it's religious. But most people would be helpful if asked, it's just less hassle to look like you don't want to be.

I wouldn't expect anything more though, I don't know what happened to you that you miss it.