The stupidest thing you've done.

[janjotat]

Self explanatory really.
Anything that could/did go horribly wrong with 20/20 hindsight.

For me its a toss up between tying down a model rocket which proceeded to explode.
OR
Playing with Thermite. And if you don't know what it is, its three times hotter than lava.
If you're still curious look it up.

 

[Ruedyn]

Truth or Dare with my friend, who has an almost inhuman tolerance of pain. I should've known how it would end, but I still tried...

I still have a few scars >_>

 

[Quaxar]

That thermite story needs further elaboration. Did you mishandle it? Juggle it? Wrestle it in a astonishingly revealing spandex body suit to the sound of 80s detective series background music?

I can't even remember anything stupid. Come to think of it, I don't remember much anyway. Once visited a hardcore conspiracy forum and had a close read of some people's honest believes. Lost a lot of hope for some that day, I guess that could count.

 

[janjotat]

That thermite story needs further elaboration. Did you mishandle it? Juggle it? Wrestle it in a astonishingly revealing spandex body suit to the sound of 80s detective series background music?

I can't even remember anything stupid. Come to think of it, I don't remember much anyway. Once visited a hardcore conspiracy forum and had a close read of some people's honest believes. Lost a lot of hope for some that day, I guess that could count.

Your comment made my day, but looking back on it, it had the biggest potential for disaster. Nothing bad happened, but lighting it with a blowtorch wasn't a very good idea. Sparks fly everywhere and if anything splashed on me I would have 3rd degree burns. Thankfully nothing happened but it WAS stupid.

 

[Kopikatsu]

Stole the lawn furniture from nearby condos and build myself a three story tower that I used to climb up to my balcony. This is something that I did many times, because I kept forgetting to bring my house key with me to places. Nearly killed myself no less than twice, although there were probably other times I almost fell from near the top that I'm probably repressing at the moment.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

Dozed off while driving in a stretch of highway with no cell service, hit a hydro pole on the driver's side and nearly killed myself two weeks ago.

 

[Terminate421]

I dropped a random kid whom I never met on his head onto a cruise ship floor about 2 feet. He was annoying but it was uncalled for.

Now that I think about it, I could have killed him, or done serious damage. This is why I feel like it was the stupidest thing I may have done in my life.

 

[tsb247]

The following are stupuid mistakes I made as a result of being overworked, tired, and still climbing into an aircraft. Let this be a warning to anyone with amitions of flight - DO NOT FLY UNLESS YOUR MIND IS CLEAR AND FOCUSED.

I made an assumption about some ATC instructions and nearly flew head-on into an Cessna 172 coming in to land on an intersecting runway. Yeah, that was dumb. It nearly ruined my day.

After being shaken from that incident, I forgot to pull out my power when I was abeam of my touchdown point and I landed halfway down the runway; nearly hitting a helicopter that was sitting on the runway.

To my credit, I have never done anything like that before or since. Needless to say, it was a bad day.

There is nothing more terrifying than staring down an oncoming aircraft. PERIOD.

 

[Musette]

I once thought it was a good idea to tie a glow stick to a bottle rocket. It ended up messing up the trajectory for the rocket to fly into and explode inside a nearby jeep. At first, the bright orange glow of the firework going off made it look like the jeep caught fire. I'm pretty glad that wasn't the case.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

I jumped off the top of my double decker bed when I was young. I believed I could fly.

Yeah... idiot me.

 

[Vegosiux]

I do something stupid every time I contemplate letting a traffic accident happen because someone else would be causing it. (Like, slamming on the breaks when an obnoxious git is flashing his lights behind me when I'm already at or past the speed limit myself).

No, I didn't actually do anything along those lines, but even thinking about it is rather stupid.

Another rather stupid thing I sometimes fall victim to is telling myself "Nah, it's okay, you don't need a break, you can handle this". Because, if that goes too long, I'll end up having not a break, but a breakdown.

 

[Robot Number V]

Hmm. Probably a toss-up between:

-Attempting to race one of my friends down a really short road that quickly merged two lanes into one. I tried to pass him and wasn't fast enough, so we were right next to each other when the lanes merged. I had to slam on my breaks not to hit him, ended up spinning out and hitting the curb. Thankfully nobody besides my friends and I saw the event. It could've been a lot worse.

-I once punched right through a window. Not a REAL window, mind...just one of the panels on a glass door. Really thin. Believe me, I was just as surprised as anyone. Fortunately no real damage was done, just a nasty cut on my wrist and a whole lot of embarrassment. Which brings us to the "why" of the matter...I hit my shoulder on the door on my way through it, so I punched it. Didn't even think about it. It was like a reflex. I wasn't even remotely angry until I hit my shoulder. In fact, I was in a pretty good mood. Then I just...punched it. I've always had some pretty serious anger management issues, but this was...probably the worst instance of it. (Pro tip: Do NOT play videogames while angry. Especially not Shadow of the Colossus. And ESPECIALLY not while your grandmother is in the house. I'll just leave it that.)

-I once made a joke about cancer. Now, I was a kid at the time, but I knew what I was doing. What's that you say? You think it's not that bad? Did I forget to mention that my friend, who's mother had severe leukemia (a fact I was well aware of at the time) was in the room? I mean, I wasn't trying to offend him or anything, I just didn't think. Still, I literally slapped myself several times after that. Still feel awful about it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go try to slap myself so hard that my idiot past self feels the pain. That moron has it coming.

 

[Hoplon]

I moved back to England.

 

[bigfatcarp93]

When I was a kid, I stuck a key in an electrical socket. In my defense, it looked like it would fit.

 

[NoeL]

This one is REALLY stupid and involves that "special" part of my anatomy, so it's going in spoiler tags not to offend the sensibilities of those that don't want to read about big floppy donkey dicks.

Spoiler

So I was watching some pr0nzorz, feeling simultaneously impressed and outdone by the volume of ejaculate these guys are able to produce (I know it's mostly drug induced, but still) and I came up with the BRILLIANT idea of faking a monster cumshot by injecting a semen substitute (in this case, a creamy white moisturising body wash) down the shaft of my penis. What could possibly go wrong, right? As it turns out, urethras don't like liquids going in the wrong way - especially soapy ones. Thanks for the information, pain response!

A few hours/beers later and I needed to urinate, but instead of urine I was met with the feeling of a sharp needle piercing through my glans instead. I couldn't pass more than a drop or two without crippling agony. Not a fun position to be in with a full bladder. Then came the totally not humiliating admission to my parents that I was pissing razor blades and needed them to take me to the hospital. Yay!

Then came the super fun conversation with the doctor in order to inform him why I was pissing razor blades, followed by a pleasant physical examination. Not that I needed to impress him or anything, but it turns out that in frightening, awkward situations your penis shrivels up to the size of a 5 year old's. Lucky no ladies saw, right lads?

He prescribed me painkillers and a urine alkaliser, which thankfully numbed the pain enough to make pissing about as fun as sticking your dick in a jar of bees (as opposed to a jar of piranhas). So glad I didn't need a catheter, because I think that would have ruined my otherwise awesome day. I was a lucky boy.

 

[JEBWrench]

Here's one of my more amusing ones:

Through a combination of an extension cord, a faulty electrical outlet, and my own misplacement of a burlap sack of potatoes, I caused an explosion. I blew up a sack of potatoes.

It creates a very odd conversation with one's girlfriend when you have to put down the phone on account of "the potatoes just blew up".

 

[Pyramid Head]

Watch two seasons of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
...well there was also that time i almost drank bleach but i think the bleach would have done less permanent damage than Pinkie Pie's singing did.

 

[Lady Lucky]

So I thought it would be cool to give the cat a bath in the pool (I was 7yrs old at the time). The cat immeadiatly clung to my arm in a tornado of teeth and claws, making 3 very long gashes. He was half wet too, my dad pointed this out. My Dad also said I learned my lesson painfully. To this day I have scars and now being older I feel bad for the cat...

Poor Cleo

 

[Serinanth]

Self explanatory really.
Anything that could/did go horribly wrong with 20/20 hindsight.

For me its a toss up between tying down a model rocket which proceeded to explode.
OR
Playing with Thermite. And if you don't know what it is, its three times hotter than lava.
If you're still curious look it up.

I was a bit older when I started making thermite, at that point I wasn't playing with fire I was using it, Ok. Playing with it but with a bit more of a mind for safety. Remote magnesium starter strips ftw.

Yeah... fire. I accidentally lit my tree fort on fire back in the day (on the inside, with me in it) and in my panic I tossed a jar of boiled down gasoline on it, yeah I was a bit of a firebug. I lost my eyebrows but thankfully that was it. I managed to get out and get the hose before the whole thing went up.

There is also the time that we decided that a flaming tennis ball would be way cooler to shoot out over the lake from our spud gun. Or as we liked to call it, The H.V.F.C. High Velocity Fruit Cannon, I know, I know, they are tubers, but we did not discriminate when it came to produce.

Well we soaked the ball in gas, stuffed it down the barrel dropped a match in and then started to charge the gun. Unfortunately we ran out of O2 and went over the UEL so no boom, tilted the cannon over to check out the ignition switch on the back and molten tennis ball poured onto my leg...That hurt...a bunch.

Hmmm Oh! learning how to drink over two 1.75l bottles of Vodka plus beers in a week, on my own. Yeah super dumb, at 33 my liver isn't in very good shape. I don't drink like that any more so hopefully I wont die because of it.