The stupidest thing you've done.

[Twyce]

I dropped out of college. Not only did I drop out, but towards the end of the semester I also stopped showing up to classes (I was homesick and always driving home earlier and earlier in the week), so I killed what was a decent GPA. I planned to transfer to a local university, but since my grades were shit they wouldn't take me (duh). Stupidest thing I ever did. Luckily for me, I found a great job that is actually a career, but I screwed myself out of my dream career (teacher).

I've debated going back, but I don't know. I'm afraid I'll screw it up again.

A close second is when I drove my friends and I to the mall without a license or any driving practice at all (no learners permit either). I must've been 15 at the time. I nearly hit another car too...Changed lanes while taking a turn at a light. When I think back on it, I can't believe how lucky I am that I didn't get in accident.

 

[suitepee7]

i was trying to work out why my grandparents reclining chair was stuck and the footrest not coming up all the way, so i got off and stuck my hand underneath to see if something was blocking it. for whatever reason it then fully reclined, trapping my ring finger of my right hand between the metal joint and almost cutting it off. had to get my parents to push the seat down to unstick my finger.

that was pretty stupid

This one is REALLY stupid and involves that "special" part of my anatomy, so it's going in spoiler tags not to offend the sensibilities of those that don't want to read about big floppy donkey dicks.

Spoiler

So I was watching some pr0nzorz, feeling simultaneously impressed and outdone by the volume of ejaculate these guys are able to produce (I know it's mostly drug induced, but still) and I came up with the BRILLIANT idea of faking a monster cumshot by injecting a semen substitute (in this case, a creamy white moisturising body wash) down the shaft of my penis. What could possibly go wrong, right? As it turns out, urethras don't like liquids going in the wrong way - especially soapy ones. Thanks for the information, pain response!

A few hours/beers later and I needed to urinate, but instead of urine I was met with the feeling of a sharp needle piercing through my glans instead. I couldn't pass more than a drop or two without crippling agony. Not a fun position to be in with a full bladder. Then came the totally not humiliating admission to my parents that I was pissing razor blades and needed them to take me to the hospital. Yay!

Then came the super fun conversation with the doctor in order to inform him why I was pissing razor blades, followed by a pleasant physical examination. Not that I needed to impress him or anything, but it turns out that in frightening, awkward situations your penis shrivels up to the size of a 5 year old's. Lucky no ladies saw, right lads?

He prescribed me painkillers and a urine alkaliser, which thankfully numbed the pain enough to make pissing about as fun as sticking your dick in a jar of bees (as opposed to a jar of piranhas). So glad I didn't need a catheter, because I think that would have ruined my otherwise awesome day. I was a lucky boy.

i'm sorry you had to go through that, but if it makes you feel better, you made my day by sharing that story. actually made me cry a little with laughter

 

[AnarchistFish]

Got drunk and tried to climb over the side of a bridge several 10s of metres above concrete.

Got drunk and shouted at a bunch of kids claiming to have knives that I was gonna beat the shit out of them.

Got drunk in the middle of the most dangerous part of the capital of Ecuador a few days into a one month trip, had to walk back to the hostel without getting mugged and then had to hide the fact I was completely out of it for the rest of the evening fully aware (well at the time not that fully aware) that I'd almost certainly have been put on a plane home if I was caught.


Got away with it on all 3 counts.

 

[MajorTomServo]

Getting drunk and telling my best friend I had a dream that I got her pregnant.

She likes to bring it up at every opportunity, it's super embarrassing.

 

[mechashiva77]

Going down a water slide feet first (It was my first time and I didn't know any better!), and then hitting my head hard enough to get a concussion.

 

[Klumpfot]

Two things immediately come to mind: snorting ground-up steel wool on a dare, and getting so drunk on cheap imported vodka that I passed out with my foot next to (or in) an anthill.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

Well, I accidentally stapled my thumb once. Look, I was trying to get the staples out and thought I could open it from the bottom... yeah, bad idea.

 

[Rose and Thorn]

Falling in love is the stupidest thing I have done. Taking a year and a half to patch my life back together was the second.

 

[Fappy]

In middle school I road a skateboard down an extremely steep hill in my neighborhood. I ended up going way to fast to stop so I lunged forward hoping I could outrun my velocity. I ended up doing a front flip and landing directly on to my bony ass while the skateboard went flying into someone's yard. I was lucky to get out with only a few scratches.

 

[Zen Bard]

Went to a bar with a buddy of mine and had a couple of margaritas...followed by several beers

And with nothing else in my stomach except a six medium sized chicken wings, I drove home.

By some miracle I made it home safely. But my stomach let me know how angry it was by spraying its contents all over my car...twice.

Although it was a confluence of factors, I later learned that said bar made it's margaritas with Everclear (the grain alcohol, not the band).

My first clue that something was dangerously amiss should have been when the floor started moving after the second drink...

 

[Scarim Coral]

Agreed to help find my mate his swimming gear after he lost it sometime after having lunch at McDonalds WITHOUT calling our parents beforehand to look for it (when I hang out with my mate I usually tell them I be back before 5pm). Needless to say I was grounded at the next weekend and before you asked, this was before the rise of Mobile phones.

 

[Lt._nefarious]

This one is REALLY stupid and involves that "special" part of my anatomy, so it's going in spoiler tags not to offend the sensibilities of those that don't want to read about big floppy donkey dicks.

Spoiler

So I was watching some pr0nzorz, feeling simultaneously impressed and outdone by the volume of ejaculate these guys are able to produce (I know it's mostly drug induced, but still) and I came up with the BRILLIANT idea of faking a monster cumshot by injecting a semen substitute (in this case, a creamy white moisturising body wash) down the shaft of my penis. What could possibly go wrong, right? As it turns out, urethras don't like liquids going in the wrong way - especially soapy ones. Thanks for the information, pain response!

A few hours/beers later and I needed to urinate, but instead of urine I was met with the feeling of a sharp needle piercing through my glans instead. I couldn't pass more than a drop or two without crippling agony. Not a fun position to be in with a full bladder. Then came the totally not humiliating admission to my parents that I was pissing razor blades and needed them to take me to the hospital. Yay!

Then came the super fun conversation with the doctor in order to inform him why I was pissing razor blades, followed by a pleasant physical examination. Not that I needed to impress him or anything, but it turns out that in frightening, awkward situations your penis shrivels up to the size of a 5 year old's. Lucky no ladies saw, right lads?

He prescribed me painkillers and a urine alkaliser, which thankfully numbed the pain enough to make pissing about as fun as sticking your dick in a jar of bees (as opposed to a jar of piranhas). So glad I didn't need a catheter, because I think that would have ruined my otherwise awesome day. I was a lucky boy.

Aw, damn, I had my 2 dick related stories lined up. Both the one that involved a paper cut on the dick (don't fap to physical drawings!) and one that involved all foreskins, fluids and 2 lady doctors and 1 very attractive lady doctor poking around my nether regions but I you've hot me beat...

I'm going to possibly go with the time I went into a GAME with a box of glitter and sprinkled glitter on everything I bought, my friend and the spiky haired guy behind the counter... My friend eventually got sick of glitter and threw it under a car...

 

[shrekfan246]

Hm. Well, all of my trips to the hospital have been rather involuntary, so I don't think any of those would count.

I continue to eat jalapenos even though my body destroys me for it afterwards.

I bought Final Fantasy XIII for over $50.

I lent $450 to my mother.

 

[Al-Bundy-da-G]

I tried to ride a juvenile alligator as a bet once... Did not go as planned.

 

[Montezuma's Lawyer]

Walking into the woods with a strange man I didnt know.

That was a very bad decision.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

I treated my first job like some sort of optional young adult daycare rather than like what it was - a job. If I could go back, I'd slap myself upside the head for thinking I could play hooky as often as I did without it biting me in the ass. Just goes to show you can be in your early twenties and still be an irresponsible twat.

Younger, I touched a car's lighter because I couldn't believe that little thing was warm enough to light a cigarette. I spent three weeks awkwardly holding pencils with my thumb and middle finger as a result. Fun times.

I also ate through a walnut-sized chunk of wasabi sauce as a dare. The nausea. The horrendous, wrenching nausea!

 

[deehadley]

I tattooed I Love U on my dick, although if this was the most awesome thing you've ever done thread I would have said the same.

 

[LarenzoAOG]

Majoring in education.

In Louisiana.