The Surgical Surgery Thread!

[Shoggoth2588]

Good morning everybody! Since it's 1am here it's technically morning but anyway, I just had my very first surgery yesterday! I had a double-hernia repaired and while I'm glad I've been patched up, I'm sore and paranoid about something popping out of place or outright breaking. While I'm on a painkiller it isn't exactly killing my pain and due to a lack of funds and a console being in storage, I can't numb my pain with the game of the same name (because lame jokes). I went in at a quarter-past noon, went under at around a quarter to 2 and, was back home at around 5pm. I remember nothing of the surgery which is good! I was asleep to the point that I didn't even have an awesome surgery-induced dream. My throat is still kinda hurting from the nitrus though. Like I said though, I've basically just been laying in bed since then, trying not to move too much since it feels like something huge punched me in the gut and has yet to release its pressure.

Anyway, this isn't a sympathy thread since I am a tough Shoggoth [sub][sub](who still wouldn't mind a bit of sympathy I guess, if you had any to spare, no pressure)[/sub][/sub] This is the first in hopefully-not-many 'I am bored and unable to effectively/painlessly move so lets bother the forums' threads SO...

How many of you ladies, gentlemen, anthopomorphic personifications and, Golden PC Gaming Gods have had surgery? How long did it take to recover? Any interesting surgery stories in general? Preferably light anecdotes...this kind of thread, I realize, could go really sad quite quickly.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I was on the verge of surgery once. Somebody swung the end of a hockey stick into my left eye and I KO'd me out of school for the rest of the year. Fortunately I only broke one tiny bone in my beautiful face and in time it welded itself on its own. And that's the story of how I almost had surgery.

I guess I'll have to do the laser surgery thing to heal my myopia at some point but I try not to think too much about it.

PS Get well Shoggoth!

 

[Colour Scientist]

I've never had to have surgery, luckily.

I had to get stitches in my forehead when I cracked my skull after running into a wall when I was little but that's the only hospital-worthy thing that's ever happened to me.

Edit: Oh, I forgot the sympathy part!
Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Barbas]

Get well soon!

Back when I could hardly walk upright, I am told I jumped down a flight of concrete stairs. Eyewitnesses also report that I "actually got pretty good air" before reaching the bottom head-first and cracking my skull. Ha, it's amazing I've lasted this long!

 

[IndomitableSam]

Only surgery I've had is to have my appendix out. I was 11, and it was Halloween. I'd also started my period a few months ago. So I have an upset stomach, which is normal. I am sick on the 31t but go out anyway. I only made it to a half dozen houses before I feel too ill, and go home. Mom sap a hot water bottle on me and I deal with it for a couple days. My period does not manifest, and my pain keeps getting worse. She finally takes me to the doctor. Which is agony as every little bump in the road makes me cry in pain.

The doctor takes one look at me and tells my mom to take me to the hospital. We get there... and I sit for seven hours. Finally, I get brought into a room and a young doctor comes in. He doesn't touch me, and says I have a urinary tract infection. And tried to send me home.

I don't remember much afterward because I was pretty out of it, but apparently my mother lost it on the guy and another doctor comes in, pokes my abdomen once, and I'm being rushed into surgery minutes later. It's already ruptured and is leaking, so they have to clean me out and I don't get one of those little scars. Nope. It's massive. (Now that I'm an adult and it stretched a bit as I grew, it's like 8 inches long and the scar itself is half an inch wide.)

I'm 11 at the time though, so I go home after 5-6 days and stay at home for a couple weeks, then am back to school after that.

... Hope my story was entertaining. I could make it sad by saying some kids I thought were my friends didn't even know I was gone when I got back to school.

 

[MysticSlayer]

I've had three surgeries.

The first was a foot surgery in which an implant was put in to give my right foot an arch. I had a very serious case of flat-foot, to the point where I couldn't go a single day without experiencing incredible pain, and while the issue was with both feet, my right foot was an unusually bad case. The problem is that, at that time, they had completely forgotten to test the very long-term effects of the implant, and one thing that has been discovered over the years, is that it has a tendency to crack as the person gets older, making it a horrible choice for children. My implant cracked about eight years ago, so I have a tendency to get a lot of ankle pain. The only way to stop it is with another surgery, but then I'll have to deal with the flat feet again. Personally, I'll go with occasional, serious ankle pain that I can at least lower the chances of getting with well-planned exercises rather than having constant foot pain that has no hope of going away.

The second surgery was to remove an unusually large kidney stone (1.3cm in diameter) that had basically gotten stuck. They were concerned that it was so bad that they would have to cut into my back and work their way through the kidney, which would have also had a horribly long recovery time and been much more painful. Thankfully, they didn't have to cut me up, but were able to insert and instrument to break it up through my...yeah. Unfortunately, this also meant that going to the bathroom was incredibly painful for a few days, and since they had to insert a stent to help the fluids get flowing more naturally again, having the stent pulled out basically brought all that pain back. I also apparently stopped breathing during the surgery, so they had to insert a breathing tube, which made my throat feel horrible for a few days, even with plenty of jello and ginger ale. This was also the only surgery where waking up was a struggle, and I had absolutely no energy for the rest of the day.

The third surgery was a follow up to the first kidney stone surgery. They had predictably failed to remove the entire stone (common for stones that large) and had to remove what was left. It was a very mild surgery compared to the first, and I woke up feeling reasonably well after it. Of course, it still hurt to go to the bathroom for a few days.

I also almost had a fourth surgery. After the first kidney stone surgery, I had to collect particles that came out after the surgery for them to test the chemical make-up of the stone. The thing is, they found out that it had a very unusual make-up, and they thought the reason was due to an enlargement on one of my glands. It basically would have required them to cut me open and remove the enlargement. However, after some blood work, they discovered that all of my measurements regarding that gland were normal, so we still don't know exactly what caused that stone.

 

[Eamar]

I've never had proper surgery. Closest thing I've had was getting my contraceptive implant removed and replaced a few weeks ago, but that's just a local anaesthetic job. Still, there was a scalpel involved so it totally counts

Good luck OP, and get well soon!

 

[Elfgore]

Just one, even then it was a minor one. Had to get a mole on my calf removed. It was dangerously large and actually had a different feel than normal skin. I remember I was so excited when I got it done because I could finally play Pokemon again. My mom had banned me from video games before that.

My friend also just had his appendix removed. I'm already preparing jokes to hit him with next time I see him. If you got any, I'm glad to hear them.

 

[Estranged180]

Let's see. I've had a quadruple hernia repaired, a titanium alloy implant placed in the right side of my face, to replace the shattered cheekbone and orbital bone that I suffered when I was a kid. I've had the left side of my face completely repaired after a dog (my own) bit half my face off. I've had the 3 bones in my right arm surgically repaired after a stone had gotten wedged in between the 3 of them at the joint.

I'm still alive.

The next things that, if any doctor were to look at me, would be repaired or replaced would be both knees, left elbow, and spinal repair.

By the time I'm 50, I should be full cyborg.

Hope you feel better soon OP.

 

[zumbledum]

when i was 21 i had a part of the ball joint in my thigh bone snap off a 1/2 inch bone fragment, i of course caused some majour issues with my knee. now it makes sense and is a very practical safeguard but when a doctor comes round with a magic marker asks me where the operation will be then circles that asks to see my other knee and puts a big X on it. now as sensible as this measure was i have to admit it somewhat shook my faith in the surgical team

The had to pull my leg out of joint at the knee i guess to get the bone out , filed off the sharp edges and injected some kind of silicon into it to hmm not sure make it stronger? anyway this had let my knee swell and fill with all manner of bodily gunk. the morning after the OP i have to walk on the leg to go to the bathroom, i was still a bit groggy from the meds and the painkillers i was on kicked ass so i made it to the bathroom with no trouble , did my business and was heading back to the bed when i realised i could still hear liquid splashing. fearing i was pissing myself i looked down , i saw a jet of blood spraying out a good 6 feet from my knee and splashing over the wall /floor, my knee having been pulled apart and filled with blood was now under pressure and being squashed back together, ofc the incision was the only exit and it was stitched causing a perfect high pressure multi nozzle or gore spraying mayhem. it was squirting out under such pressure no matter what the nurses tried to catch it with it just splashed off. the room looked like a slaughter house and for some reason , probably the aforementioned quality pain control meds i was on i had started to laugh. my drug addled brain was happy enough with the no rhythmic spurting so no arterial involvement. i look up to see some poor young lad who was just coming in for an op. the look of outright shock and bowel loosening terror on his face stays with me to this day.

 

[Barbas]

(Snip).

Shit, I went white for a minute after reading that. Reminds me of the time I went to the local surgery - someone had come in off the hill with a broken arm, which they were going to have taken care of in preparation for the ambulance. On the way down the corridor to the doctor's office, I passed the injured man - now in a wheelchair - and saw that he seemed relatively happy. When I passed the open door of the room in which his arm had been fiddled with, however, I noticed one of the nurses cleaning a disturbingly large pool of blood off the chair and floor. I've matured somewhat since that time, but I distinctly remember dreading my own appointment with the German doctor (a friendly and helpful chap) and having flashbacks to Wolfenstein.

Anyway, the moral of the story is probably about how the real enemy is our own ignorance or something like that.

 

[EvilRoy]

My only surgury was pretty tame compared to the stories in here. I had some wisdom teeth that were basically sideways in my jaw, so they had to come out the hard way.

The only noteworthy part of the surgery was the fact that I have an apparently high constitution when it comes to drugs. There was a really awkward 3-5 minute staring match with the fellow controlling the drug-flow as he sloooowly ramped them up before I went out. This is compared to the two people also in the room for tooth-jobs who were out in seconds when they got stuck.

I asked the nurse afterwards if it was normal for it to seem like it takes forever for the drugs to take effect, and she said no - it actually just took a lot to put me under.

 

[flying_whimsy]

I've bruised my skull in three different places, broken an arm and my wrist, bruised my hip bone to the point I couldn't walk for a day, and had to get stitches in my chin. No surgeries, though (unless you count getting my one wisdom tooth pulled). You have my sympathy, though, as close relatives of mine both had surgery over the last year.

My brother had his under bite corrected by having his jaw broken, pulled forward, and wired in place for almost two months. It was really something to see him in the hospital afterwards (all he would talk about was food), but his recovery was faster than the doctor had ever seen (granted, he has two children under the age of four and a very active, working wife; so, he couldn't just lay around on painkillers during his recovery time). He just got the wires off last week and went on a marathon to all his favorite restaurants.

My dad just finished his physical therapy for surgery to replace a torn rotator cuff in his left shoulder. All he did for about a week after the surgery was sleep. There was one point in the middle of the night during the recovery phase where one of the sutures opened a little to drain out fluid (a normal part of the process as we later found out), and he started freaking out when he woke up and there was bloody fluid all over his pillow and his back. Basically it was like a giant zit burst. It was kind of frightening at the time, but hilarious to look back on. My favorite part of the whole ordeal with his shoulder was when we first went to the orthopedic surgeon and the guy started yanking my dad's arm every which way to evaluate the damage (bear in mind it hurt my dad to move his arm even a little): I couldn't stop laughing for an hour.

Makes me chuckle thinking about it now, too.

 

[Cerebrawl]

Never had surgery but I'll need it soonish.

I've been diagnosed with Plantar Fibromatosis. Got a decent sized growth on the bottom of my left foot.

 

[antidonkey]

I've had a total of three surgeries.
1) Wisdom teeth removal. I was 18. The procedure only took about an hour for all four teeth and recovery was a maybe a week.

2) Gall Bladder removal. I was 34. Gall stones suck so much that I cannot describe it accurately to you. The procedure took a hour. Recovery was only 3 days but I wasn't supposed to lift anything over 10 pounds for 2 weeks.

3) Titanium plate inserted to fix broken wrist (my avatar is the x-ray). I was 37....this was a little over a year ago. Wrecked my Harley and broke my right wrist in two places. The procedure only took 45 minutes but recovery was long. I was out of the splint and into a soft cast/brace after a week. Two weeks after that when things were going well and I had recovered some, I entered physical therapy. That took 3 months of three visits a week. It got me about 90% of my mobility back. Rotation, up, side to side are great but down is quite limited. It still aches and hurts when the weather does strange stuff which means it's been a right pain in the ass for the last 2 months. Once March is over it I hope it starts to ache less. I highly recommend that no one break bones at a joint.

 

[Zeraki]

My first surgery was when I had my wisdom teeth removed. I was about 15 at the time. Only took a couple weeks to recover and get the stitches removed.


Then I had knee surgery almost two years ago(I was 26). I fell and ended up tearing two ligaments and dislocating my knee cap. One of my ligaments had to be completely replaced because it was beyond repair.

The recovery process afterwards was a lot harder than I was expecting it to be. You don't realize just how much you take your ability to walk for granted until you lose it for a while. It took a few months for me to finally get off the crutches and out of rehab. I probably would have gotten off them a bit sooner, but then I ended up getting hospitalized with a blood clot in my leg.

 

[Robert Marrs]

Well I had surgery when I was about a year old to fix my club feet. Can't remember any of that though. I had to have surgery to have a piece of glass cut out of my finger. Quick recovery and aside from the damaged nerve endings in my finger all is well. Also had my wisdom teeth taken out. A very quick recovery (about 2 days until I could go back to work) and no problems after.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

... Hope my story was entertaining. I could make it sad by saying some kids I thought were my friends didn't even know I was gone when I got back to school.

That would be sad but the friends I had in school at age 11 are all out of my life at this point. It must have sucked at the time though and I'm sorry about the internal-explosion.

My friend also just had his appendix removed. I'm already preparing jokes to hit him with next time I see him. If you got any, I'm glad to hear them.

Holy Moley! That was bad...and the only material I have with apendexes are just references to The Fairly Oddparents, if you've ever seen that show (there's a recurring character who is an alien whose species have nuclear-powered, planet destroying appendixes)

By the time I'm 50, I should be full cyborg.

I had no idea people could get a quadruple, Damn. Hopefully you won't get banged up that bad in the years to come though...unless you wanna be a cyborg I guess. I never asked for this.

-snip-

Geeze...that...kind of hurt to read...You must have been on some really good stuff though, to laugh off the blood pump your leg had become.

The only noteworthy part of the surgery was the fact that I have an apparently high constitution when it comes to drugs. There was a really awkward 3-5 minute staring match with the fellow controlling the drug-flow as he sloooowly ramped them up before I went out. This is compared to the two people also in the room for tooth-jobs who were out in seconds when they got stuck.

Whereas I'm a light-weight...I was down and out in seconds and still can't remember some of the prep-stuff they did before they opened me up.

Never had surgery but I'll need it soonish.

I've been diagnosed with Plantar Fibromatosis. Got a decent sized growth on the bottom of my left foot.

Ouch...I don't know what to say to that other than good luck with that.

---

Thanks a lot everyone for your horrible, gory stories! Thanks too for the well wishes! Sorry for not quoting all of you guys though.

 

[Catfood220]

I'm one of these annoyingly lucky people that no matter how hard I ding myself up, I never seem to get hurt so badly I need surgery. I expect my body to fall apart when I turn 40.

The only time I have ever spent any time in hospital for anything was when I was about 6 or 7 and had chicken pox like most normal kids do. I was covered in spots and I had one on my finger. As I was getting over it and the scabs where fading, I was doing some colouring in one night and suddenly found out that I couldn't move my hand. I found out recently that the chicken pox had actually got into my bones and affected my hand. It wasn't all that scary though, having the big needle put in my hand wasn't fun but the worst bit was the first morning in hospital when I was woken up by the beeping of the drip that they had attached to me in the night, being confused, not knowing what was going on and just being told to go back to sleep.

This story brought to you by the dream I had last night.

I suppose if you want to be pedantic, you could say that the time I had my gum sliced open and the roots to a rotten tooth removed was surgery, but it was over so quickly I never actually think about it.