The Tower of Druaga (heroic fantasy- Started)

[NastoK]

Hey, Nastok, if you're wondering why Atticus didn't notice why Stonefuse was gone it was mainly because he thought Stonefuse was being Stonefuse. Quietly standing around waiting for something to do. I wasn't sure when the right moment would be to point this out, but then you posted your post, so at least I knew how far away Stonefuse was by that time.

Actually, it's better this way, I get to develop him faster.

 

[NastoK]

"snip"

"What do you mean by leave? The level?! We can't leave, we just got here and we actually have a goal. Stonefuse couldn't have gotten far. I'm sure he'll-...what was that about Prail?"

Atticus scanned the group and sure enough she was nowhere to be found. She must've ran off in search of that sound.

"Okay, Prail is gone too. But we're not going back! Just stick to the plan, follow the aqueducts, get to the tower, focus, find our way off the level. Prail can handle herself just fine, she's a big...thing. "Wait, does Prail even have a gender?" Atticus thought to himself.

"Yes, Stonefuse is Stonefuse. He's probably just standing somewhere waiting for something to do. "I hope the big guy is at least." Atticus thought slightly protectively. "But even with that accounted for, we CANNOT leave! We've got to get moving. This level has little to offer aside from maybe some food, but I'd rather not retrace our steps in Minalca. We locate a portal here, eventually find Prail and Stonefuse, and get on with life. Hopefully they'll run into each other." Atticus said, walking away from Zavier.

"Shall we get going?"

Am I reading it incorrectly, or were you contradictory there?

 

[hiei82]

snip

Am I reading it incorrectly, or were you contradictory there?

I read it as Atticus being caught between his desire to continue moving and finding the missing people. HE then resolved to continue moving and hope to meet the group later

 

[NastoK]

snip

Am I reading it incorrectly, or were you contradictory there?

I read it as Atticus being caught between his desire to continue moving and finding the missing people. HE then resolved to continue moving and hope to meet the group later

Huh, that actually makes sense.

 

[TheNaut131]

snip

Am I reading it incorrectly, or were you contradictory there?

I read it as Atticus being caught between his desire to continue moving and finding the missing people. HE then resolved to continue moving and hope to meet the group later

Huh, that actually makes sense.

That's actually it, though after re-reading it I can see how it may sound confusing.

Atticus is constatnly in a frantic flurry of emotions long the lines of should I do this? that? Etc. This is mainly because he's not climbing the tower for himself, but for the lives of an entire level he still has a chance at saving. However, he still has feelings and his own needs/wants. He's growing an affection towards Stonefuse and Prail's an oddity he still wants to understand. He could easily leave the two of them, even the entire group, but he's actually come to enjoy their company and the company of people.

 

[hiei82]

snip

Compared to me, your artistic work rivals Cezanne. Good to finally have an image for them in my head (aside from bipedal stegosaurus)

Edit: That said, I'm still going to be using "lizardfolk" and "lizard man" image searches to populate my posts.

 

[Mr.Ivebeenframed]

Argh, curse you school! Would someone kindly give me a quick recap of what just happened or rather how the groups were split up? I was able to gather that the group split up after Prail ran off but I just want to make sure I don't ruin anything.

 

[hiei82]

snip

also snip

So what do you think of the general look (ignoring my art ability)

Also for size if they're in line with Prail you could expect about 6-9 feet as a normal range with maybe a few extremes a foot or so either side and the tail is about as long as their height again (the scale in the picture might not show that too well).

The only problem I think It suffers from is a lack of predatory characteristics. As I understood it, the species was supposed to be individualistic carnivorous predators. Suggestions to aid it include:

You may want to consider longer, more dextrous looking finger/claws. manual dexterity is one of the more useful features for a sentient species. combine that with claws to complete the powerful predator look.

For the horns, I imagined the horns starting wide (like the are now) but closing almost to a point (the tip missing to provide the entry/exit for air/sound) creating a conic shape that more closely resembles a horn.

You may want to consider removing the pod at the end of the tail and replacing it with a longer "third" spike. The end of the tail is one of the furthest extremities and are thus one of the easiest places for an enemy creature to go for. Protecting it with another spike would give it an evolutionary edge (and physical edge it the spike were sharp enough lol)

Lastly, If you inverted the leg structure (gave it more of a raptor or large cat look) it would indicate the creature as a more of a fast, stealthy, predatory species (rather than the omnivorous hominid). As lallowens are supposed to be individual hunters, and therefore won't rely on pack tactics, the would need to be powerful, quick, and sneaky.

Which completes my analysis of predatoryness

All in all, minor suggestions.

On that note, I need to get back to writing up the next post...

 

[Redryhno]

Argh, curse you school! Would someone kindly give me a quick recap of what just happened or rather how the groups were split up? I was able to gather that the group split up after Prail ran off but I just want to make sure I don't ruin anything.

As far as I'm understanding it, we're traipsing through the jungle, most of us being together, but in closer pairs, when we run into more Prails.

Atticus and myself are one of the pairs, and no one else posted who they were pairing up with, so it's whoever you want still.

Stonefuse is off by himself knocking on some city door feeling sorry for himself. He went far ahead of the rest of us.

Prail heard something and ran off into the jungle before we started going along the road and ran into another Prail.

I think that covers it... I think.

 

[hiei82]

Argh, curse you school! Would someone kindly give me a quick recap of what just happened or rather how the groups were split up? I was able to gather that the group split up after Prail ran off but I just want to make sure I don't ruin anything.

Group went through portal

Found various ruins and a jungle

No one knows much about the level.

Ruins were covered in Prail's language (old dialect)

Word "Calgradni" was carved into a monument - Zavier is very confused by it (It will be explained soon... muh ha ha ha ha)

Aleiester and Damien can't use their fire magic

Prail called out into the forest. received response. loud roar followed.

Prail ran off into the forest chasing her brethren

Stonefuse sensed a magical aura emanating from deep in the woods - chose to follow on his own

Rest of party followed ruined aqueducts, not realizing Stonefuse had walked off and having lost Prail.

Prail found another lallow (the name of the race of lizard people)

Stonefuse found a bustling city where the source of the magic aura is, along with the magic portal to the next level

The rest of the party reached the mountain top where the aqueducts start, looked over the landscape and saw the same city. Then they were ambushed by Lallowens who are none-to pleased with trespassers.

Hope that helps

 

[Mr.Ivebeenframed]

Snip

That really helped, thanks.

 

[NastoK]

Stonefuse is off by himself knocking on some city door feeling sorry for himself.

That made me laugh

On that note, I need to get back to writing up the next post...

Hope you finish it soon, I've LARP training in the morning, and I'd like to post again before I go to sleep. Though, having to write something for all three "groups", I can understand if it takes some time.

 

[hiei82]

Stonefuse is off by himself knocking on some city door feeling sorry for himself.

That made me laugh

On that note, I need to get back to writing up the next post...

Hope you finish it soon, I've LARP training in the morning, and I'd like to post again before I go to sleep. Though, having to write something for all three "groups", I can understand if it takes some time.

wish granted (I hope)

 

[NastoK]

wish granted (I hope)

That it is.

EDIT:

its voice louder enough to make even the hardest crystals and stone of Stonefuse's corporeal form vibrate.

While this sentence is perfectly fine, I'd like to point out how Stonefuse looks like, because it's easy mistakenly imagining him fully made out of stone or crystal.

Appearance: The whole surfice of his body made out of human skin, obviously unnatural, his eyes of white marble. Wearing dirty white wool clothes.

The only change he made during the adventure so far was transforming his forarms and hands into crystals.

EDIT 2: Then again, that's only the surface. He is still made out of stone and metal inside.

 

[Redryhno]

snip

Just so you know, nothing except Damien's Words are magical. Everything else is just really advanced. He's basically a 40k Sphees Mahrine. Just so you know for sure.And everyone else. I suppose the bio didn't get the point across. sorry.

 

[hiei82]

snip

Just so you know, nothing except Damien's Words are magical. Everything else is just really advanced. He's basically a 40k Sphees Mahrine. Just so you know for sure.And everyone else. I suppose the bio didn't get the point across. sorry.

I will make the change. Thanks for the intel

Edit: change made