Shit...shit shit shit shit SHIT!
Guys, you gotta help me. A bunch of people just tied me up and drugged me. I woke up in some weirdass place that looks like an Apple Store where everything looks clean and white and pretentious. There are security cameras everywhere, so I don't know when they're going to come get me. They just hooked me up to this weird machine and made me live the life of my ancestor, a ninja in feudal Japan who works as part of some organization that kills world leaders.
Listen, I think they're on to me. Let me tell you now, the organization that's holding me. It's Abst-