The worst books (or movies or plays or whatever) that they made you read or watch in grade school

[Ldude893]

The Beach by Alex Garland. I have to clarify this first: the book was great. It's got lots of pop-culture and Vietnam references without betraying the unsettling tone of the story. It's Heart of Darkness with a touch of Lord of the Flies, about three backpackers seeking a legendary beach untouched by the modern world, but then some crazy shit happens. I swear, I think at least one of the devs of Far Cry 3 read this book, since I found the two stories strangely similar to each other.

But then the movie. Oh GOD the movie.
The movie lacked much the unsettling tone of the book, and the whole story was less of a demonstration of human nature's darker side and more of a light vacation-gone-awry tale. They TRIED to show the more darker side of the book, but then they completely changed the ending, which was supposed to be one of the book's bleakest moments. The soundtrack [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_nV1mlvU58] didn't help either, as it gives too much of the holiday vibe that the book was trying to subvert (though I'll admit, by itself the theme is one of the best beach music I've heard in my life)

So what does this movie give us? We get a hammy post-Titanic Leonardo Di Caprio who's either making goofy tribal faces or imitating an 8-bit video game character in the earliest examples of the Leo Strut. Nothing but fanservice, and whatever atmosphere from the novel they tried to incorporate ended up botched.

 

[Raine_sage]

Great Expectation by Charles Dickens

FUCK THAT BOOK

He goes on and on like he loves the sound of his pen touching paper to spew out more mindless drivel that is boring, melodramatic and inconsequential. It made me want to ram my head into a wall. Not a book for 14 year olds.

I agree with you. I had to read it last year and it was just so boring. I usually like dickens, but with this one it felt like it would just go on and on forever.

Thirded, I absolutely hated that book. I got about halfway through before I gave up and looked up chapter summaries on the internet to bs the rest of the tests.

Funny thing though, Great expectations wasn't written as a book. Originally it was a newspaper serial where dickens was paid by the word. So not only did he make the prose kind of excessively flowery on purpose in order to stretch out his word count, but he stretched out the story so that he could keep writing it longer and therefore get paid longer. I can't help but think if we'd read it that way, say one chapter (or however long the serials were) a week in class, I might have enjoyed it more. As it was we had to cram the entire thing into a month. Not fun.

 

[Spiritmaster]

Two autobiographies:
Angela's Ashes (Frank McCourt)
I know why the Caged Bird Sings (Maya Angelou)

I kind of get why they made us read the latter, she is at least an artist (a very generous description to be sure) while Frank isn't.

 

[SgtMcgee23]

Great Expectation by Charles Dickens

FUCK THAT BOOK

He goes on and on like he loves the sound of his pen touching paper to spew out more mindless drivel that is boring, melodramatic and inconsequential. It made me want to ram my head into a wall. Not a book for 14 year olds.

Quoted for truth. This was the same book I was going to select, what a boring book.

 

[ScrabbitRabbit]

Romeo and Juliet the modern remake.
OHGOD SO BAD

Fucking this. It's one of my least favourite movies ever. The hammy acting (there was one scene where I couldn't understand a fucking word for the screaming), the horribly out of place original dialogue, the awful contrivance of having the guns be manufactured by "sword" just so the line about crossing swords still make sense (complete with a flow-breaking zoom in to the logo on the gun!) and I seem to recall some really badly placed fast motion.

Was it supposed to be a parody? If it was, I still hate it for not being funny.

 

[Mocmocman]

For reading it had to be "Taming of the Shrew". I had to read it twice, and the first time I was indifferent, but the second time I just hated it. All I got from it was that Shakespeare doesn't age well. The fact that as a comedy it was terribly unfunny, though the moment that made me realize how well it aged was when Katherine and Petruchio were having a back and forth and the play had to have a aside to explain every pop culture reference that hasn't been relevant since Shakespeare was alive.

For movies it's a tie between "North and South", which was a soap opera ordeal that for better or worse we skipped about half of in English, and "The Ultimate Gift", which we had to watch for Health, which had a terribly predictable plot, very strong Christian overtones, and somehow wasn't made more exiting by the main character getting kidnapped by the drug cartel.

On an unrelated note, the teacher that had us watch "North and South" had us, instead of reading "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow", had us watch the Tim Burton version, which was nothing similar, plot-wise. I'm still trying to figure out whether she had never read the story, and presumed that the story and movie had a remotely similar plot, or if she just decided "Fuck it".

 

[mattttherman3]

The Giver, one of the worst books I ever read, I wanted to be "released" while reading it. Even worse was a book called Le Caribou, or The Moose, about 3 guys that illegally hunt a moose via helicopter, find some gold bricks, and die trying to smuggle them.

 

[Gatx]

I don't like Shakespeare. Don't know why that guy's held in such high regard. I generally like most other things I have to read for class though, expect maybe the Scarlet Letter.

Also fuck you guys, Great Expectations is the best.

 

[Blackdoom]

A Year of Wonders. Jesus fucking christ was it a horrible book.
It was essentially a romance novel set during an outbreak of the black plague in England. I can't even remember a lot of the reasons exactly as to why it was shit apart from various historical inaccuracies and just all round horrible writing with the plot shifting tone and pacing that frequently it wasn't funny.

But by far the worst part of it was the last chapter which can be pretty much simply summarised as and then she ran away to Saudi Arabia and lived happily ever after with little to no logic or relation to the rest of the story.

Island was a series of short stories each to varying degrees of shit. The closest I can think of is if you took HP Lovecraft style of writing removed all of the talent and instead of it revealing other time something scary and essentially going and then I went insane. It tried to go and then I was sad and killed myself or and then I was sad but something nice happened which meant nothing each story was complete and utter shit the only part that I remember which I used as a quote in my exam because fuck that book was when a group of fishermen fucked a woman using a fish as a sex toy.

As for worst movie that award would have had to go to Jindabyne. Many characters were not properly fleshed out the plot meandered around for ages in the middle where not much really happened. it was apparently full of this deep and wonderful imagery which was meant to represent just about every emotion known to man. Maybe the fences on the side of the road wasn't meant to show how she was trapped in and isolated maybe the fences were on the side of the road because they were fucking their already as that is somebodies property.

 

[Erja_Perttu]

EDIT: But oh wait a sec 'I bite my thumb at you! Do you bite your thumb at me sir?' ... that stuff almost made it worth reading

That's how I was able to get through Shakespeare in school. Put up with the rest of it until you find the parts that are down right sassy.

I didn't have to read books in school, but I did have to do a module on poetry and was made to read a lot of Carol Ann Duffy.

I can safely say I am NOT a fan of Carol Ann Duffy.

 

[AngryNorwegianGuy]

"Swiftly: A novel" by Adam Roberts. Boy, oh boy, what a terrible piece of fiction. I found my copy in a bargain bin at a fantasy book story, and it is also the only book I have ever thrown in the garbage after reading.

The novel starts interestingly enough; it is set in the same verse as Jonathan Swift's "Gulliver's Travels", and deconstructs that story. Then it inexplicably turns to one hundred pages of two people exploring their fascination for feces and S & M, and this is somehow essential to the plot.

Just... Just no.

 

[Vegosiux]

Most of the SLovenian native literature they made us read. Honestly, those things suck.

Just out of curiosity, what would be the Slovenian high school must-read?

Ehm, I think not many names are known outside the country. Ivan Cankar and France Pre?eren, maybe those two are considered our greatest literary folks by the experts over here, but I simply can't stand the constant "suffering of the little man" vibe that permeates our entire literature all the freakin' time...

Then again, there's Alamut by Vladimir Bartol, which has to be the most famous book by a Slovenian authour out there, I believe, and is even decent. But that one was always just optional.

 

[Strazdas]

A 400 pages book called "Years" (Thats translation) written in dialect long dead describing to ultimate scrutiny the farm life of peasant lithuanians in 19th century. I guess the only reason i didnt go mad was because the dialect used certain words that are now just another name for penis and back then i thought it was really funny when the sentences went something like "grab your dick and go to work".

And pretty much all the books went a similar path. as i stated in the thread this antagonizes our school system does not allow good books in.

Capcha: downward slope. OH YOU.

 

[Infernai]

Remembering Babylon by David Malouf

I swear to god...this book is the worst thing i have ever EVER had to read in my whole life. It's nonsensical, boring and above all it was written as though the author had the attention span of half a second. David Malouf, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but this is a HORRIBLE book.

Judging by the lack of mention on this thread I'm assuming none of you have ever read it, to which i say: You lucky, lucky, bastards.

Brother Night comes in at a close second, if only because it managed to somehow make a medieval fantasy revenge quest completely and utterly BORING. But hey, at-least it was COHERENT if nothing else. Remembering Babylon...wasn't and i still have nightmares about having to analyse the damned mess.

 

[CleverCover]

Anything in high school related to Ernest Hemingway, Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte quickly became a NOPE. All sophomore year of English was filled with stories I wished I could have shot my teacher for making me read. The taming of the shrew? Horrible piece of work and couldn't stay awake for most of it.

Charles Dickens too, that whole "get paid by the word" led to pages and pages of absolute nonsense. Every year, around Christmas time there was one and every year I wanted to scream.

Tried to read The Scarlet Letter and the Jungle outside of class. Tried and failed. Books were dull in the first page.

In In college, The Story of Ah Q physically angered me. First book in college I truly disliked.

Movies...if I didn't like it within the first five minutes, I fell asleep. Always. So I can't remember a single movie I can say I disliked.

 

[BrotherRool]

I didn't have to read books in school, but I did have to do a module on poetry and was made to read a lot of Carol Ann Duffy.

I can safely say I am NOT a fan of Carol Ann Duffy.

I've heard horror stories from the people who've had to study her

 

[Happiness Assassin]

The Giver, for worst book. Worst thing about that book was that it was merely just so boring to me. Nothing in it was really noteworthy.

For movie, Anne of Green Gables. I have "seen" this movie two times and I fell asleep both times.

 

[Shockolate]

Lord of the Flies.

Only because I fucking hated reading those fucking kids talk.

 

[Twilight_guy]

Pride and Prejudice. It's a generic romance novel from the early 1800s. I don't like romance novels. I don't like having to read old books without historic note beyond being one of a type of book that existed at that time. I found it boring and slow and utterly pointless most of the time with very little overall happening (you could summarize the important points in a paragraph or two and not leave a whole lot out). That book makes me want to do work to prove that its not worth studying and discredit it so others don't have to read it. I don't like that book. I do not like it, Sam I am.

 

[likalaruku]

I absolutely detested John Steinbeck novels in highschool.

In Jr. high science, we had to watch a video about how our bodies are crawling with microorganisms; I think it scarred me for life.