The worst D&D group I ever heard of.
- Thread starter Chrono180
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Oh man, I am so glad none of my gaming group is like those guys - sure, we do stupid impulsive things sometimes, and set fire to stuff more often than is really needed, but damn. Makes for some seriously funny stories after the fact though!
Wow, this is hilarious. That group sounds more dysfunctional than The Black Hands from KODT, and that's saying something.
One nitpick, though:
One nitpick, though:
Cthulu was in the early editions of the Monster Manual. He was only taken out when TSR got sued over the character.Chrono180 said:
True, but that was 1st Edition and this was a story about 2nd - by that point he'd already been lawyered away.Owyn_Merrilin said:
True enough, but I'm pretty sure 3rd edition was the first major shakeup, so it shouldn't have taken much to import the stats. Besides, as crazy of a DM as that guy was, I wouldn't put it past him to do it regardless of how hard it was.Gildan Bladeborn said:
The AD&D book Deities & Demigods (the D&D book D&D?) has a listing of several nasties from the Cthulu universe. It's buried far deep in a remote closet not at my current address so I can't fact-check, but IIRC, it had enough relevant statistics to easily port the mythos into a 2nd edition game.Owyn_Merrilin said:
Wow, Dennis sucks and is retarded. And it seems like they never gave you the chance to have sections not filled with rules.
sounds like a friend of mine's DMing... we had a female elf bard in our party and if anyone misbehaved they threaten to off the cute little elf bard... my favourite trick as a dwarf thief was stealing the clothes people were wearing.... it rarely went well...
That reminds me a little of my first foray into DnD.
They had all chosen their characters before hand. All the other people in my group wanted to be exotic things, the opening make up of the group consisted of a Salamander, a Grey Slaadi cleric, a Dragon Barbarian and a Vampire Fighter. Bear in mind, it was the DMs first game too, so he didn't want to over complicate things by having level adjustments to these characters.
Seemed to me that the thing our party was missing most was a humanoid character. One who could go into shops and buy things without arousing suspicion. So, in keeping with the spirit of the others, I chose a Weretiger Monk. The girl playing the vampire looked at the powers that I had from that combination and decided that she wanted to be that instead. The DM said no, she sulked and didn't join in the game.
Luckily, the campaign kinda died out after one session. A combination of studies and other commitments meant that we couldn't get a regular thing going and it never took off.
They had all chosen their characters before hand. All the other people in my group wanted to be exotic things, the opening make up of the group consisted of a Salamander, a Grey Slaadi cleric, a Dragon Barbarian and a Vampire Fighter. Bear in mind, it was the DMs first game too, so he didn't want to over complicate things by having level adjustments to these characters.
Seemed to me that the thing our party was missing most was a humanoid character. One who could go into shops and buy things without arousing suspicion. So, in keeping with the spirit of the others, I chose a Weretiger Monk. The girl playing the vampire looked at the powers that I had from that combination and decided that she wanted to be that instead. The DM said no, she sulked and didn't join in the game.
Luckily, the campaign kinda died out after one session. A combination of studies and other commitments meant that we couldn't get a regular thing going and it never took off.
Believe me, he'd have been wishing for that lot back if he'd had me and a couple of my mates from school when we were kids.
1st session after making our characters we went for a trip out to the garage, me and my mate had already drunk half a bottle (only 35cl mind you) of whisky each and then we decided to smoke a coke laced spliff. I spent the rest of the day with my head on the table trying to roll a dice and my mate spent the rest of the day in the bathroom throwing up and then lying in the recovery position. We were not invited back.
Next time we attempted to play with a different group (although still containing 2 girls from the last lot) another friend of mine dared me to take some acid before the game. At the time it was a bit like daring someone to not cut off their own head. Then the mate who'd dared me to take some acid took a bit himself, having never taken it before, this was a bit of a poor move on his part. I can't really remember much of what happened but I do recall getting to the stage where I had to choose equipment when the acid hit and found the weapon table to be very confusing indeed, I could manage to stare at it and wonder what the fuck this thing I was holding in my hand was for while my ex girlfriend (can you blame her? ;P) tried to explain about the different weapons and such. I really can't recall much else save that I was left upstairs with one very paranoid first time tripper and pukeboy from the time before while everyone else sensibly decided to go and do something else downstairs. We did not play together again. Years later I found out that they had no idea we were all off our faces on LSD and thought we were just being regular grade dicks.
That was the last time I attempted to play AD&D.
1st session after making our characters we went for a trip out to the garage, me and my mate had already drunk half a bottle (only 35cl mind you) of whisky each and then we decided to smoke a coke laced spliff. I spent the rest of the day with my head on the table trying to roll a dice and my mate spent the rest of the day in the bathroom throwing up and then lying in the recovery position. We were not invited back.
Next time we attempted to play with a different group (although still containing 2 girls from the last lot) another friend of mine dared me to take some acid before the game. At the time it was a bit like daring someone to not cut off their own head. Then the mate who'd dared me to take some acid took a bit himself, having never taken it before, this was a bit of a poor move on his part. I can't really remember much of what happened but I do recall getting to the stage where I had to choose equipment when the acid hit and found the weapon table to be very confusing indeed, I could manage to stare at it and wonder what the fuck this thing I was holding in my hand was for while my ex girlfriend (can you blame her? ;P) tried to explain about the different weapons and such. I really can't recall much else save that I was left upstairs with one very paranoid first time tripper and pukeboy from the time before while everyone else sensibly decided to go and do something else downstairs. We did not play together again. Years later I found out that they had no idea we were all off our faces on LSD and thought we were just being regular grade dicks.
That was the last time I attempted to play AD&D.
Marvellously epic stuff. I played all the all the premade adventures with my friends (im the cleric) and that was pretty good, but im afraid i now have to steal several of your ideas, because they are so awespme.
Where did he find those people...? Were they, themselves, malformed creatures of the Underdark, and particularly poor stat-rollers as well? Had they not a single positive modifier for WIS, INT, or CHA among them?
As for the story...
As for the story...
That's pretty bad. It's unfortunate that the group truly believed that fellow to be a bad Dungeon Master. I do have a few stories of my own, though. Keep in mind that I ran an evil roster.
Story the first(The old cleric and the sewer pool):
We had helped some agents of the red wizards seize a town up in a northern area of Faerun. When the power base was secure, the commander of that particular force struck a permanent deal with us. If we were to collect a series of magical itesm for him, we could each take a lesser item from his collection(He was a hording lich). Our first task was to sneak into the keep of the town and take the earrings off of a powerful mage inside.
We had decided against a frontal assault and chose to use the sewers, seeing as we had heard rumours regarding a secret passage into the keep. So, we enter the sewers. After a long, slick walk filled with traps and dire mutants(Experiments gone wrong from the practicing mage of the keep), we came to a giant pool of black water. There was a thin walkway around the pool that required a balance check to cross. Our cleric, unfortunately, rolls a 1 and not only slips in but is crushed to death by the Kraken waiting in the depths.
While we are dealing with the mage, our cleric takes the deal to become a demon despite having a deity affiliation. After the quest, we hire a specialist to summon him and my mage binds him to our party. So, we lost a cleric but we gained an osyluth(I know it's a devil but I put them o nthe chart because they are just too cool).
Story the second(Play me a song, lute man):
At another time, our group was raiding an orcish hold. Being as orcs are in D&D, dire rats are a common enemy here. Our bard, Featherwind, takes a critical hit by one of the rats(It latches onto his arm and stays there, causing periodic damage and inflicting a serious infection). While he's screaming for aid, our warrior decides to take a swipe at the rat. He rolls a 1. I promptly tell him to make a strength roll(He gets an 18). He ended up removing featherwinds' right arm(Which would be grafted back on, thanks to my mages specialization in Necromancy and skill points in anatomy, surgery and vivisection).
Story the first(The old cleric and the sewer pool):
We had helped some agents of the red wizards seize a town up in a northern area of Faerun. When the power base was secure, the commander of that particular force struck a permanent deal with us. If we were to collect a series of magical itesm for him, we could each take a lesser item from his collection(He was a hording lich). Our first task was to sneak into the keep of the town and take the earrings off of a powerful mage inside.
We had decided against a frontal assault and chose to use the sewers, seeing as we had heard rumours regarding a secret passage into the keep. So, we enter the sewers. After a long, slick walk filled with traps and dire mutants(Experiments gone wrong from the practicing mage of the keep), we came to a giant pool of black water. There was a thin walkway around the pool that required a balance check to cross. Our cleric, unfortunately, rolls a 1 and not only slips in but is crushed to death by the Kraken waiting in the depths.
While we are dealing with the mage, our cleric takes the deal to become a demon despite having a deity affiliation. After the quest, we hire a specialist to summon him and my mage binds him to our party. So, we lost a cleric but we gained an osyluth(I know it's a devil but I put them o nthe chart because they are just too cool).
Story the second(Play me a song, lute man):
At another time, our group was raiding an orcish hold. Being as orcs are in D&D, dire rats are a common enemy here. Our bard, Featherwind, takes a critical hit by one of the rats(It latches onto his arm and stays there, causing periodic damage and inflicting a serious infection). While he's screaming for aid, our warrior decides to take a swipe at the rat. He rolls a 1. I promptly tell him to make a strength roll(He gets an 18). He ended up removing featherwinds' right arm(Which would be grafted back on, thanks to my mages specialization in Necromancy and skill points in anatomy, surgery and vivisection).