The zombies are here, and your country needs you.

[THAC0]

Three days ago, dead bodies began to reanimate and become flesh eating zombies.

The government has survived and is requesting any and all suggestions for how to deal with this new threat to be sent to them for evaluation.

while their is much that is not understood, these things are known.

- The zombies are caused by a viral infection.
- About 1 half of the population seems to be infected with the dormant virus.
- The virus normally does not become active until the host dies, at which point they become a zombie.
- Contact with the matured virus is fatal within 24 hours, and will result in reanimation.
- The presence of the virus can be detected with blood tests.
- In some rare cases the dormant virus can mature in a living healthy host.

- The military is at about 1/3 strength
- Major cities are not safe.
- The rural areas are completely cut off.
- No allies are willing to offer aid.

How should the government respond?

 

[Daystar Clarion]

They should read this Cracked.com article, then sit back and relax.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

 

[mavkiel]

Start a war? It'd kill off much of the worlds population before infection, nuclear winter will take care of more. In a hundred or so years, leave your vault and just maintain some basic security measures?

Of course, such a method above would seriously suck if your not in a bunker. Anyhow thats my Jonathan Swift type recommendation.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

I'm fucking running to Alaska. You know hell has broken lose when the Government is asking the common man for help. Just watch a fucking Romero Movie!

 

[jamradar]

I would tell them to read the cracked article and tell them not to worry.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html


EDIT:

Spoiler: damn ninjas

 

[drbarno]

They should read this Cracked.com article, then sit back and relax.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

along the lines of what I was going to say, along with a link to an awesome website!

 

[burningdragoon]

They should read this Cracked.com article, then sit back and relax.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

Well since I was ninja'd...

I'd say go with a Kamehameha. That should do the trick.

 

[L3m0n_L1m3]

There would be a tax for being a zombie, obviously.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

They should read this Cracked.com article, then sit back and relax.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

Well since I was ninja'd...

I'd say go with a Kamehameha. That should do the trick.

I think a Falcon Punch would work better...

 

[FalloutJack]

The Redeker Plan.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Wait, the GOVERNMENT is what survived?

I live in America, we're all fucked if we have to rely on the government.

Anyway, I tell them to set up safety shelters, wait till a few months and watch the zombies thin themselves out before doing a mopping up job.

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

I live in Canada, where the temperature is below zero about 90% of the time...

What should the government do? Watch all the zombies get freezer burn...

Canada, FTW...

 

[Tartarga]

Anyone who is able will be asked to pick up a gun or a weapon of any kind and kill as many of the flesh eating bastards as they can. Find a good defensive position, barricade the crap out of it and lour the bastards to you, and don't forget to have an escape plan. Just in case things turn to shit, which in a zombie apocalypse is pretty much inevitable.

 

[Evilbunny]

Can we get, I dunno, some helicopters around major cities lighting up hordes of zombies as they see them? I'm pretty sure we have the most powerful military on the planet. Even at a fraction of its strength it should be able to vaporize everything.

 

[Shock and Awe]

1. Euthanize areas that have been determined to be completely lost with air attacks.

2. Call all reserves and guard units to duty in their local areas and call on non-state militias to fight with government forces.

3. Encourage citizens to arm themselves and kill all zombies on sight.

4. Im assuming the virus is not airborne so only quarantines needed would be on areas that are truly fucked.

5. Recall ALL US military forces from overseas, no exceptions.

6. Station all recalled forces and active domestic forces in strategic locations to stop spread of quarantine zones.

7. Bring all forces to DEFCON 2.

8. Allow Canadian, UK, and Australian military forces access to US territory.

 

[KanameDarkwind]

Come on, if we made some promises to Canada and the UK, they would help us.
And really, my plan is just go to North Dakota and live in a military bunker my grandfather constructed during the cold war. (Seriously, it's freaking amazing. Thanks for the money Gov!)

Need more details. Like normal zombies would just die from lack of food and quick decay. But if someone engineered this to make the Zombies resistant to cold, heat, all predators, etc. then we would have a problem.
Hmm...I'm gonna make a "What's your Zombie plan?" thread. With tons of details. Yesssss....

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

According to the flashing road sign put up by the council they're already here. I drove past it last week and it flashed up "Zombies....Run!!!"

 

[WolfThomas]

They should read this Cracked.com article, then sit back and relax.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

From the same site that wrote this

http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html