Them infomercials

[Vegosiux]

Hello, I'm Vegosiux! Welcome to the show "Bringing you a better life".

Is your life all monochrome? Do you find yourself having trouble with mundane tasks like making a sadnwich, brushing your teeth or cleaning your glasses? Do those troubles make you rage, breaking knives, toothbrushes and shattering glasses, followed up by losing your will to live?

Look no further! The new Taskatron™ will change your life forever. Just listen to these few cherry-picked individuals gush on and on about how it changed theirs from monochrome to color, from constantly botching their sandwiches to sandwiches literally making themselves!

*Insert a few clips here. Make sure at least one involves a single mother with little kids.*

Still not convinced? Ah, maybe you should hear this fellow dressed up as a doctor (that may or may not actually be one) telling you that Taskatron™ is exactly what you need! He will even perform a demonstrations of the product, showing you its power at something you're never going to use it for anyway!

Taskatron™ can be yours for just three easy payments of $59.99...and one slightly more complicated payment of $37.437. Stop torturing yourself. Embrace a better life with the new Taskatron™!

But wait, there's more! If you call now, we will throw in and additional add-on for the Taskatron™ which will also let you make your bed without destroying your mattress! So what are you waiting for? Call now. Give us your money, and change your life forever...with the new Taskatron™!

*cue rainbows and ponies*

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Right, with the silliness out of the way; I've been wondering what the opinion around here on stuff like this is. Me, personally? I don't see how people are convinced, and I wish this kind of advertising would stop polluting the airwaves. Alas, for reasons, I also find myself having to watch plenty of them.

Question two, anyone bought anything via an infomercial, and if so, was it worth the investment? Honestly, in most cases I find myself thinking "What can this thing do that a person with normal hand-eye coordination can't accomplish with an ordinary fruit knife?"

So, escapists; care to share your opinion on infomercials in general, or maybe a personal experience of your own?

Captcha: Grilled Cheese. Why yes, the new Taskatron™ can do that too!

 

[bobmus]

They amuse me no end when I visit the US, not so common here in the UK so I really enjoy laughing at the low-budget style. My dad's in marketing, and likes to mock them when they come on as well - has led to many a bout of laughter.

 

[GistoftheFist]

I ordered P90X off the infomercial and yes, it was worth the investment.

 

[Revnak_v1legacy]

I think they're funny and use some of the most common marketing ploys around. However, these ploys are common for a reason and I can see how they would convince someone, they just don't work on me.

Personally, my family owns a set of miracle blades. We've never had any problems with them, though we use the "all-purpose" cutter almost exclusively for carving and bread. Chef knives are better at just about anything else and don't have awkward handles. A video review I found says they aren't actually that bad.

 

[Vern5]

Infomercials are hilarious. Of course, they are not that convincing but think about when most of them are playing. The majority of infomercials come on in the earliest hours of the morning when people are either drinking, bored, or incapable of sleep. It is in these times of weakness that people end up watching infomercials, normally by accident.

Still, some infomercials are just plain fun. Especially this one:

It's a TF2 reference.

 

[Generalzdave]

Infomercials are easy to pull off, and I'm ashamed to say that we have some of the products. The ShamWow, the Snuggie, that little net thing for deep-frying, and those little plastic segments that are supposed to add support to your couch if you put them under the cushion. That is the only one that doesn't work very well. They give you enough for 1/3 of a typical couch, and a piece of plywood will do the job much better. Simple products, however, seem to be easier to sell, probably because nobody complains when a Snuggie doesn't work, because it can't really not work. With something complicated, a lot can go wrong. And let's face it, the Shake-Weight is a bad Austin Powers joke.

I think they're funny and use some of the most common marketing ploys around. However, these ploys are common for a reason and I can see how they would convince someone, they just don't work on me.

Personally, my family owns a set of miracle blades. We've never had any problems with them, though we use the "all-purpose" cutter almost exclusively for carving and bread. Chef knives are better at just about anything else and don't have awkward handles. A video review I found says they aren't actually that bad.

We have those, too, and it isn't a great sign when we keep them in the bathroom closet in favor of some generic, $20 set that works better. Maybe they're there for that one time in all history when someone's going to get burglarized while they're in the shower. That needs to be in the infomercial.

"The All-Purpose Slicer's double-pronged end goes beautifully into your robber's general torso area, even if you're a monochrome idiot who doesn't know how to stab. And look at this! Apply a little pressure to the back of the blade, and the f*****-up cleaver-knife goes into his shoulder, and the front edge slices right through clavicle! Are you getting this, cameraman? Order now, pertaining to necessary defensive force laws in your viewing area!"

 

[RatRace123]

My favorite infomercial of all time.

I don't know what it is about this ad that I find so damn entertaining, maybe it's the fact that it really does make the thing look incredibly useful rather than something I used for about a month then threw into storage.

Oh well, despite the disappointment in the actual product, I still like the infomercial.

 

[BENZOOKA]

"And we're also throwing in This. Hey, why don't you explain what this thing does Ryan?"

"It helps dealing with baldness Colin. Let me demonstrate on you"

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

snip

I have a snuggie, but the sad thing is I never would have bought it based on the initial batch of commercials. I love it, but they advertised it as a robe that's slightly longer than usual, and still do aside from one commercial that explained what it actually was a few years back. It's really a blanket with sleeves, which is perfect for gamers, couch potatoes, readers, and anyone else who has a reason to get snuggled down under a blanket on a cold night while still needing access to their hands.

@Infomercials: They're tend to range from hilariously bad to just plain bad. Unfortunately, they make more money for the networks than syndicated re-runs, which is why they'll never go away. Think about it: a half hour or hour long paid commercial with other paid commercials interspersed, vs. cheap but still not free or money making on its own programming with a few commercials interspersed. For the studio executives, it's a no brainer. For the rest of us, it's terrible TV.

Edit: also, it came from a store, not an infomercial hot line. Pretty much all of the successful infomercial products wind up in real stores eventually.

 

[Dags90]

My mom bought a Shakeweight. I don't think she ever used it. I was surprised it wasn't motorized, then I realized it's an "As seen on TV product" and I wasn't so surprised.

 

[Vegosiux]

Infomercials are hilarious. Of course, they are not that convincing but think about when most of them are playing. The majority of infomercials come on in the earliest hours of the morning when people are either drinking, bored, or incapable of sleep. It is in these times of weakness that people end up watching infomercials, normally by accident.

Yeah, true, but I think that's more a coincidence than intent. It's just that nobody really watches TV seriously at those hours so it's a better business decision for TV companies to just let some companies buy a half-hour advertisement window.