There is a Spider on your shoulder

[MasterChief892039]

If moving means that the spider runs into your ear, squashing it or brushing it off is not an option.

Since I can't move without getting my brain eaten, I'm entirely at the mercy of whoever passes by. I only hope someone saves me before a bunch of my vital organs are eaten.

 

[there is no spoon]

I would challenge him to a game of tennis and when he least expects it my friends will ambush him from behind and capture him in a glass jar. After capturing him, he will undergo hours of intense torture until he reveals what his plans were and how many other poisonous spiders there are in my house and their locations. I will attach an electronic device around his neck that will explode whenever he disobeys what I say. I will order him to lure the other spiders out of my house and onto the tennis court where they will also be ambushed and captured in glass jars. I will then burn down my house to make sure that there are no other spiders hiding there. Every spider will have their own electronic device attached and I will train them to become my obedient minions. Firstly, they will build me a new house and then proceed to carry out my evil plans of world domination. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

O.O wow, you really took that situation and ran with it. Type A personality award goes to none other than you, good sir.

 

[Queltherio]

I'd fart and kill it with the smell.

 

[KingofallCosmos]

puff some smoke from the joint I'm holding *spider passes out* God bless our overpowered dutch weed!

 

[RatRace123]

Scream, take off my shirt and run out of my room. Then ask my mother to go squish it for me.

 

[cooperrox]

3 words
OM
NOM
NOM

 

[Jester00]

screaming and shaking.

 

[The Diabolical Biz]

Scream and have a massive spaz attack. I hate spiders.

Ninja'd. When I saw the thread name this is exactly what came to mind.

I'd probably fall of my chair as well. And headbutt the table and bleed out.

 

[Plurralbles]

Good thing I dont' have ears...

 

[helldragonX]

Scream like a little girl...then probably die....

 

[Levi93]

Stare at it until it melts of fear...... or just squish it.

 

[Scarecrow]

I know there is a spider on my shoulder. I like it there. His name is James. He is a very nice spider.

 

[Koroviev]

I actually had a spider on my shoulder once. It was summer and I was walking my dog down a concrete path at the park, which was, as it were, aligned with overgrown trees of various sorts. I was walking under one such tree when I felt something of weight alight onto my shoulder. Thinking little of it, I turned to look, only to realize that there was in fact a very large translucent spider situated mere inches from my face. My reaction was spontaneous: screaming and flailing uncontrollably. The beast eventually lost its grip, coming to rest on a nearby patch of grass.

Needless to say, I have been wary of walking under trees ever since.

 

[knight steel]

Hi how are you........dont look..... there is a spider on your shoulder.
When you move it will run to your ear and eat your brains (i think).
What do you do?
Think quickly, if you think to long the spider will become mad and it will eat one of your vital organs.

I would try to charm it with my spider talk. If that fails, it's 'do the strip in 3 seconds' where I shed all clothing at light speed. Try biting me when you're squished by my bra, sucka! ;P

 

[TheGuiggleMonster]

I would challenge him to a game of tennis and when he least expects it my friends will ambush him from behind and capture him in a glass jar. After capturing him, he will undergo hours of intense torture until he reveals what his plans were and how many other poisonous spiders there are in my house and their locations. I will attach an electronic device around his neck that will explode whenever he disobeys what I say. I will order him to lure the other spiders out of my house and onto the tennis court where they will also be ambushed and captured in glass jars. I will then burn down my house to make sure that there are no other spiders hiding there. Every spider will have their own electronic device attached and I will train them to become my obedient minions. Firstly, they will build me a new house and then proceed to carry out my evil plans of world domination. MUHAHAHAHAHA!

You have a tennis court at your house, cool.

No but I reckon that he should accept my challenge because I am at his disadvantage and the true gentlemen likes to level the battle beforehand and limit it to pure skill only with no unfair advantages.

 

[WanderingFool]

If you cant solve it by hitting it really hard, you aren't doing it right.

 

[Magikarp]

Fire my orbitary satellite weapon at it.

 

[similar.squirrel]

Use water to dislodge it. Capture it and send it to away to be identified/classified. Possibly use the fact that I have a spider named after me as a pick-up line.