Things that sound awful out of context

[Baby Eater]

"AHAHA FUNNIEST THING EVER!"-me laughing during a holocaust documentary(about something else mind you) right when it said how many jews died

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

"Put it in harder!"
"Put your back into it!"
"Take it like a man!"
"Just shove it in!"
"Your aim sucks!"
"We went at it all night long."

 

[p3t3r]

this is how a conversation went between my friends
guy "why do your knees hurt"
girl "cause fucking corey"

corey actually slamed her into something causing her kneews to hurt.

 

[Viper1265]

"so thats why you can't hump"
~ my mom talking about my back x-ray, by hump she meant bend my back

 

[Rolling Thunder]

"It dosen't count if you didn't bleed"

Worryingly, that comes from my current girlfriend.

 

[DoctorWhat]

Everything in this scene:

 

[Kinguendo]

"Glad I got that load of my chest" - Anytime anyone anywhere says that.

 

[GrinningManiac]

Hmmm...drawing a blank here

I remember once in pictionary my friend was drawing a "bone", but I got confused and said "Dick van Dyke"

geddit?

 

[DanDeFool]

"Hang on, let me wash the meat juice off my hands."

Said while I was cutting a summer sausage.

Yeah, I think it sounds about as bad in context as it does out of context.

 

[Plank of Wood]

"What you need is length and thickness"

I love QI.

 

[Lothae]

"so it seems I've blown my load prematurely on what was supposed to be a dry run" -Tobias Funke from Arrested Development

Funke is perhaps king of out of context awkwardness - "You're forgetting, Lindsay, that as a psychiatrist, I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first "analrapist"." and "Ooh, I can taste those meaty, leading man parts in my mouth!" xD.

 

[Julianking93]

http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/62/l_75cfc0dc832d4ff39e00a9ba7604be44.jpg
this

Wow. Thats...wow.

OT, Talking to my friend on the phone about a game that he says is too easy;

Me: If its not working for you, just make it harder.

 

[The Warden]

Nothing sounds worse than
"Mmm, stick it in."

 

[Doctor_Insano]

"and then i killed him" never sounds good to anyone evesdropping

 

[Iron Criterion]

"I kill kittens for fun and eat their bodies" oh wait...