Things to Think About

[ElephantGuts]

Why can't I have a Porsche?

 

[qbert4ever]

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

 

[Jamanticus]

Historical Vampires were foul smelling and ugly.
If you've ever seen Nosferatu, take note that how Orlok looks is how Vampires were described in history.

Modern vampires are bastardizations of the source material

Yes, we can all blame our friend Bram Stoker for all of that vampire seduction and glamorization...

....Anne Rice has just made matters worse (figuratively).

 

[electric discordian]

Why do vampires have such well groomed hair?

They don't.
Historical Vampires were foul smelling and ugly.
If you've ever seen Nosferatu, take note that how Orlok looks is how Vampires were described in history.

Modern vampires are bastardizations of the source material

I quite agree! Its hard to be well groomed with no reflection!

 

[Graustein]

Yes Adam and Eve had belly buttons, if they didn't you wouldn't. the bible says god made us in his own image including Adam and Eve so if we have belly buttons they have to have had belly buttons. unless you're implying that we evolved from them or some other such scientific drivel.

Question: Do you know where belly buttons come from?

God Duh. but seriously, they're the joining of the umbilical cord to the baby so it can get food and oxygen. I was just doing my creationist impersonation to see how good I was.

question, could you tell?

Well done. I've been Poe'd.

 

[Dogeman5]

Why do vampires have such well groomed hair?

Why doesn't Twilight become recognized for Teenage Necrophilia?

 

[Amnestic]

Why do vampires have such well groomed hair?

Why doesn't Twilight become recognized for Teenage Necrophilia?

Is it still necrophilia if they're undead? Isn't that like..Un-necrophilia?

 

[fluffylandmine]

Why does that blasted cat want a 'cheez burrger'?

Why Dan? Why?(Dan is my nemisis for your information)

Why do I have a nemisis?

If he wants a 'cheez burrger' than can I?

If I had 1 trillion monkeys with 2 trillion typewriters(just incase the first trillion break), then will I eventually get Shakespear?

Why do I ask so many question that I don't need answered?

Why don't I know all this already?

 

[Dogeman5]

Why do vampires have such well groomed hair?

Why doesn't Twilight become recognized for Teenage Necrophilia?

Is it still necrophilia if they're undead? Isn't that like..Un-necrophilia?

I thought Necro- meant the absence of corporeal life

 

[L.B. Jeffries]

So he's a Psionicist that's Grand Archmaster rank in both hammer and chisel?

Ah...I don't want to get into a s***storm over this like in the "Why All The Hate on Christians" thread. Personally, my faith is perfectly compatible with science, the Bible not being taken literally, thinking for myself, agreeing with atheists on a variety of points, and yada yada. So yeah, I'm cool with the Gnostic Gospels but some people get really upset by them.

Basically, they're a series of texts about how Jesus learned to deal with being a supreme being that were banned by bonkers Christians. Contrary to the Bible, which deals with his life after his time in the desert, the Gnostic texts are about him learning to deal with his divine powers responsibly. To this belief, Christ did not become the savior until he renounced his humanity in the desert. Before that time he was just as flawed and bizarre as the rest of us, but with super powers.

For example, at one point a teacher is yelling at Jesus because he refuses to study Latin. When Jesus recites the entire Latin alphabet and starts speaking in tongues back at him, the teacher whips him for being impudent. Jesus then, uh, blows his head up with his mind. The subsequent teacher is then promptly informed to just let Jesus doodle and not bug him. Another example is when Jesus brings a dead bird back to life and then kills it again to experiment. The Water to Wine thing is one of the few examples where the New Testament actually talks about what a crazy bastard he was before his spiritual acceptance of using his powers for good.

So yeah, he just sorta did whatever he wanted. Sorry, rambling over.

 

[fluffylandmine]

So he's a Psionicist that's Grand Archmaster rank in both hammer and chisel?

Ah...I don't want to get into a s***storm over this like in the "Why All The Hate on Christians" thread. Personally, my faith is perfectly compatible with science, the Bible not being taken literally, thinking for myself, agreeing with atheists on a variety of points, and yada yada. So yeah, I'm cool with the Gnostic Gospels but some people get really upset by them.

Basically, they're a series of texts about how Jesus learned to deal with being a supreme being that were banned by bonkers Christians. Contrary to the Bible, which deals with his life after his time in the desert, the Gnostic texts are about him learning to deal with his divine powers responsibly. To this belief, Christ did not become the savior until he renounced his humanity in the desert. Before that time he was just as flawed and bizarre as the rest of us, but with super powers.

For example, at one point a teacher is yelling at Jesus because he refuses to study Latin. When Jesus recites the entire Latin alphabet and starts speaking in tongues back at him, the teacher whips him for being impudent. Jesus then, uh, blows his head up with his mind. The subsequent teacher is then promptly informed to just let Jesus doodle and not bug him. Another example is when Jesus brings a dead bird back to life and then kills it again a couple of time. The Water to Wine thing is one of the few examples where the New Testament actually talks about what a crazy bastard he was before his spiritual acceptance of using his powers for good.

So yeah, he just sorta did whatever he wanted. Sorry, rambling over.

And people wander why I love the guy. The bible makes him out to be kind of boring in the 'holier than thou' sense it was written in, when he had a sense of humor and problems other than Jews and Romans wanting to kill him.

 

[qbert4ever]

So he's a Psionicist that's Grand Archmaster rank in both hammer and chisel?

Ah...I don't want to get into a s***storm over this like in the "Why All The Hate on Christians" thread. Personally, my faith is perfectly compatible with science, the Bible not being taken literally, thinking for myself, agreeing with atheists on a variety of points, and yada yada. So yeah, I'm cool with the Gnostic Gospels but some people get really upset by them.

Basically, they're a series of texts about how Jesus learned to deal with being a supreme being that were banned by bonkers Christians. Contrary to the Bible, which deals with his life after his time in the desert, the Gnostic texts are about him learning to deal with his divine powers responsibly. To this belief, Christ did not become the savior until he renounced his humanity in the desert. Before that time he was just as flawed and bizarre as the rest of us, but with super powers.

For example, at one point a teacher is yelling at Jesus because he refuses to study Latin. When Jesus recites the entire Latin alphabet and starts speaking in tongues back at him, the teacher whips him for being impudent. Jesus then, uh, blows his head up with his mind. The subsequent teacher is then promptly informed to just let Jesus doodle and not bug him. Another example is when Jesus brings a dead bird back to life and then kills it again to experiment. The Water to Wine thing is one of the few examples where the New Testament actually talks about what a crazy bastard he was before his spiritual acceptance of using his powers for good.

So yeah, he just sorta did whatever he wanted. Sorry, rambling over.

I don't know, I'm more of a follower of Biff [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb:_The_Gospel_According_to_Biff,_Christ%27s_Childhood_Pal] then anyone else's version of the big J's life, if only for the whole "blessed are the dumbfucks" and the story as to what rabbits have to do with Easter.

To stay on track, why do cars only explode if the good guy isn't in or around them?

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

why do people like pie so much?

Why do we need so much sleep?

Who did Jesus learn carpentry from?

 

[Souplex]

Why are you not giving me money?

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

If you go back in time and have sex with yourself, is that masturbating?

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

If you go back in time and have sex with yourself, is that masturbating?

Or does it make you gay?

 

[sneakypenguin]

Modern vampires are bastardizations of the source material

Ha this made me laugh I use that word all the time. bastardize and its brethren.

Also to keep on track why are double stuff oreos so much better than the originals?