Things you know how to do that you could never actually do?

[bookboy]

I know how to treat all sorts of injuries, including sucking chest wounds (turns out Saran wrap can do more than keep your sandwhich fresh!) but mine is more of a "Hope" that I never have to use that knowledge.

 

[Spleenbag]

I know how to kill people, using anything I have on hand. Not MacGyver-esque, where I use random stuff to make tools and whatnot, but by simply knowing where to stab/slice/bludgeon someone with it.

How about a bagette?

I would drop it and jab them in the throat with my hand. How on earth could I kill someone with a bagette?

Well as my experiences tell me, hollowing a portion of the baguette and using it as a crude wind instrument will often attract hordes of French ninjas to do your bidding.

 

[NoodleWoman]

I could join a strip club, change my name to a clicking sound, set fire to a box of tissues, hire somebody to repeat everything I say and make out with every homeless person I see, but I don't think I will.

Now I feel so limited...

 

[SharPhoe]

I know how to skateboard. However, the moment I put a foot on one I can only assume the Earth's gravity suddenly shifts.

You too, eh? It was even worse for me since I was voted PRESIDENT of my school's skate club for a year.

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

I know how to manufacture (and previously have) remotely-detonated explosives. Incendiary, shrapnel, concussive, take your pick.

What I would never do, however, is use them on another human being or object of significant value, barring war-like circumstances.

 

[secrethitmen]

I know how to drive the cartilage in a person's nose into their brain, and where to put the right pressure to crack someone's ribs all the way down. The odds of me ever needing those skills are just about nil, but they're fun to have.

 

[Iskenator67]

I can make homemade mustard gas.

 

[Matsu]

I worked in a video arcade for awhile, sometime back in the day. As a result I basically know how to repair the most common afflictions that plague arcade machines, monitor/video problems notwithstanding, and I also know how to build a skee-ball machine. I can fix coin jams, stuck buttons, unresponsive buttons/joysticks, sound and difficulty glitches, and load about a million free credits on any Namco game there is.

Problem is I never figured out how to pick the lock on the cabinets.

 

[sauerkraus]

I know many ways to make money without working.

But I can't......

I probably will once I move out.

 

[cthulhu257]

I know how to kill people, using anything I have on hand. Not MacGyver-esque, where I use random stuff to make tools and whatnot, but by simply knowing where to stab/slice/bludgeon someone with it.

How about a bagette?

I would drop it and jab them in the throat with my hand. How on earth could I kill someone with a bagette?

Well as my experiences tell me, hollowing a portion of the baguette and using it as a crude wind instrument will often attract hordes of French ninjas to do your bidding.

I'm no good with that sort of thing. I'd rather keep things simple.

 

[Mikaze]

Make Napalm/Mustard Gas/Plastic Explosives....

I can do napalm and I know the specifics of at least one thermitic reaction. Never use the napalm but the thermite is tempting...

~Mikaze~

 

[ace_of_something]

I learnt how to cause someone intense, imobilising pain by placing pressure on a particular point in the body (lol it's not kicking someone in the junk either), but outside a life or death situation, I'd never use it.

I use several of those every couple weeks or so. They don't actually cause any damage to body. That's why it's legally okay to do in self-defense when you work at a jail filled with weirdos.

 

[ame.kiri.yuki]

I know how to say Candlejack.

Do I win reality?

 

[SimuLord]

I know how to say [censored for safety]

Do I win reality?

Say hi to Freakazoid for me when you're in tied up in he who shall not be named's lair.

I worked in a video arcade for awhile, sometime back in the day. As a result I basically know how to repair the most common afflictions that plague arcade machines, monitor/video problems notwithstanding, and I also know how to build a skee-ball machine. I can fix coin jams, stuck buttons, unresponsive buttons/joysticks, sound and difficulty glitches, and load about a million free credits on any Namco game there is.

Problem is I never figured out how to pick the lock on the cabinets.

Back in 1987 or so I was on vacation in Florida and the hotel I stayed at had a video arcade. There was a Karate Champ machine where if you kicked it in the right place it would trip the coin-in mechanism---cue the infinite credits! No lockpicking required.

Make Napalm/Mustard Gas/Plastic Explosives....

I can do napalm and I know the specifics of at least one thermitic reaction. Never use the napalm but the thermite is tempting...

~Mikaze~

In theory, shouldn't you be able to make thermite out of ground aluminum foil and rust scrapings? I saw an episode of Brainiac: Science Abuse (every episode of series three, in fact) where Richard Hammond mentioned that thermite is "iron oxide and aluminium powder". Rust and foil, right?

 

[RikSharp]

I know how to kill people, using anything I have on hand. Not MacGyver-esque, where I use random stuff to make tools and whatnot, but by simply knowing where to stab/slice/bludgeon someone with it.

How about a bagette?

lol, death by baguette bludgeon!
now THATS a news story

 

[traceur_]

I learnt how to cause someone intense, imobilising pain by placing pressure on a particular point in the body (lol it's not kicking someone in the junk either), but outside a life or death situation, I'd never use it.

Punching the auxiliary nerve?

I think kicking the boys works fine, but my god does it suck to be on the receiving end.

 

[traceur_]

I know how to kill people, using anything I have on hand. Not MacGyver-esque, where I use random stuff to make tools and whatnot, but by simply knowing where to stab/slice/bludgeon someone with it.

How about a bagette?

I would drop it and jab them in the throat with my hand. How on earth could I kill someone with a bagette?

Well as my experiences tell me, hollowing a portion of the baguette and using it as a crude wind instrument will often attract hordes of French ninjas to do your bidding.

win. You sir are awesome.