oh, and, I would like to achieve such a philosophical understanding of our universe that I cant control it to some degree.
Have you ever thought that if there was no life in the universe, would the universe ever exist?
Is the sole purpose of light to be seen by life?
We aren't in the universe, we ARE the universe. If that's true, then everything I do, you do as well. So in other words, I have already done everything that has been done in this entire universe, and so have you, and so have the aliens far out in space, and so has the sun and all the other stars in the night sky. So yes, I did sleep with your mother, and I AM your father. I discovered the laws of gravity, and I have defied them as well. I burned hydrogen and burst into flames the warm the solar system, and I was the explosion that started this big place called the universe. Usually when people say they are in the universe, they are implying that they are some sort of unwelcome guest in a stranger's home. I reject those stances, and instead I see us as a whole. We are the house.
When I think of these kinds of things, I feel invincible and immortal. Try philosophy, it's damn fun.
Yeah, so that's what I want to do before I "die", spread that kind of philosophy.