Things You've Learned From Red Dead Redemption...

[Venom 3135]

Spoiler: MASSIVE SPOILER DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT COMPLETED RDR

You die at the end...

 

[Flishiz]

Auto-targeting
Watch out for mountain lions
Online is fun though

 

[zombiejoe]

Shooting a women in the face dose not give the best results

 

[ArchAngelKira]

tieing women up is legal

 

[132635]

This is going to be a strange thread. At least for me, that is.

You see, I'm normally piss poor (in a personal way, my parents don't believe in allowance and I'm too damn lazy to actually get a job) but when an opportunity like what I'm about to explain arises, I can get off my lazy ass and scrounge together some cash.

See, my friend has Red Dead Redemption and the crazy bastard doesn't like it! So he's offered me a chance to buy it off him for $15.

DO. FUCKING. WANT.

Problem is that I know nothing about the game save for the fact that it's fucking awesome and as addictive as crack.

So I figured that I should turn to my fellow Escapists to help me get more acquainted with the game without actually playing it.

So here's what we're going to do:

People who own or have played Red Dead, post something about the game that has taught an "important" lesson about life.

For example: "I learned that 'X' does 'Y' when 'Z' happens."

So, without any further conversation from me; begin!

do not buy this. the ending is piss tho it teaches never to do anything, AND I MEAN ANYTHING!!!!! wrong or the government will shove old glory so far up your ass you will vomit stars

 

[Eggsnham]

do not buy this. the ending is piss tho it teaches never to do anything, AND I MEAN ANYTHING!!!!! wrong or the government will shove old glory so far up your ass you will vomit stars

Well, I'm not going to buy the game for the ending, and I generally don't pay attention to the story in games like Red Dead and GTA, so unless you have a really good reason why to not buy it, then I think I might go through with this.

 

[TheColdHeart]

People will always ask a slightly famous person passing by to help solve crime for them before asking the police.

Nothing is scarier than cougars and long grass.

All bad-ass gun slingers picked herbs and flowers in thier spare time...

 

[Scizophrenic Llama]

All hostile animals are assholes, especially cougars, and bears are fucking ninjas.

Shooting people in the face is quite entertaining due to bullets actually making a head go splat.

Anything that collides with the front of a train will become a lovely red mist.

 

[MachoFern]

I learned you can cause molotov cocktails and dynamite sticks can be used as homing rockets

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Sam Fisher holds training courses for cougars.

 

[Valkyira]

Someone, somewhere considers a glass eye to be treasure.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

if you're unlucky, running over a bunny rabbit will KILL the horse you're on.

MY WARHORSE WAS KILLED TWICE BY THOSE BEASTS!
A

That happened me today, I was so confused... but it was bloody hilarious

 

[Guest_Star]

I've learned that Rockstar don't give a shit about us PC gamers.

 

[Enigmers]

Revolver duels to the death are a perfectly legitimate way to settle your differences.

 

[FinalDream]

R* can miss the mark, badly.

 

[DeepComet5581]

I've learned that there were a damn sight more wild animals around in the 19th Century America.

 

[Ih8pkmn]

I've learned that there were a damn sight more wild animals around in the 19th Century America.

Actually, it's 1911. You're off by a few years.

Boars and Bunnies are attracted to Blood when it's used as Bait.

Cannibals were around in the old west

Dr. Moreau escaped his island with hellish animals that he was attempting to make human, and is now trying to make humans into animals (see: Donkey Lady, Bird people, Cougar man)

Snake Oil DOES help Eyesight, to a degree, but ONLY if it is Purchased from N.W. Dickens.

 

[Hippobatman]

Bears practice blood vengeance. If one of their kin dies, you will meet the rest of its family and relatives.

The west's inhabitants are crazy. Complete Stranger missions and you'll see.

Wear the right clothing and you can get away with cheating at poker.

Hats can, in fact, be shot off the owners' heads.

Great game. Good story. The ending made me furious [sub](in a good way)[/sub].

 

[Stone Wera]

...For instance: "One thing I've learned about life from Assassin's Creed, is that people in the middle ages were allergic to water."...

It's the same thing in the Wild West... But anyways, never go into the deep forest in West Elizibeth. The story's too long to text wall here, check out Ridiculous Gaming Stories thread if you want to know.