Thinking about visiting Australia

[Same River New Water]

People will try to make you eat Vegemite. They will try to make you eat a piece of toast with about an inch of Vegemite on top. This is not intended to introduce you to the local cuisine but just to see the look on your face.

The correct way to eat Vegemite:

Step 1: get toast.
Step 2: apply butter.
Step 3: apply extremely thin coating of Vegemite.
Step 4: scrape off all the Vegemite.
Step 5: eat toast.

As far as places you should check out, I can't suggest much. All the obvious attractions are good: Uluru, Sydney Opera House, Canberra. Melbourne is a really nice place, but it's not spectacular; it's just a good place to live. If you'll be staying here for a month or more, definitely spend some time in Melbourne, but if you'll just be touring the country for a week then you can take it or leave it.

There's some pretty mind-blowing scenery when you get far away from the populated regions, but a lot of it's amazing for weird reasons. Like the Nullarbor Plain [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nullarbor_Plain], which is famous for being a huge, huge area of flat land with nothing in it (named for the Latin for "no trees").

P.S. Everyone makes it sound like a big joke, but you really should watch out for drop bears. They usually get people pissing on trees at night time; my sister's boyfriend's dad's brother got attacked that way. There's some good tips about how to avoid them here. [http://www.geocities.com/muirnin/db.htm]

 

[Beefcakes]

Stay away from Dalby and Nimbin, that's about all.

And why would you want to do that? People have great trips in Nimbin, people are high on life. They also sell a lovely variety of brownie. It also has lots of drugs...

Well, the only animal that may not kill you is the amateur skater, as our sheep are incredibly dangerous.

Everything else is a deadly, vicious monster read to kill ya!!

Fixed?

Australia is great though, love it know it live it.
We have floods and fires. At the same time! Lets see another country do that!
Whilst one end is flooded, the other is in drought. Woo yay us!
Nah, landscape can be breathe taking, and if done right, can change you forever...
And ever...
And ever...

 

[riftinducer]

i think i speak for all of australia when i say "look out for the dropbears"

truer words not spoken

Don't laugh, my pet kangaroo died that way.

 

[Knight Templar]

By all means come visit, its a great place.

We totaly won't kill you. All the backpack killers were locked up, at least all of the ones we know about but hey, its a big place.

 

[Bernzz]

Come visit me in Birdwood (near Adelaide), I'll be your friend...

i think i speak for all of australia when i say "look out for the dropbears"

You win at awesomeness, really.

 

[Ninja_daemon117]

Well, the only animal that may not kill you is the sheep.

Everything else is a deadly, vicious monster read to kill ya!!

...At least that's my impression. And I'm not hundred percent sure about the sheep.

You would be if you had seen the movie Black sheep

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Well, the only animal that may not kill you is the sheep.

Everything else is a deadly, vicious monster read to kill ya!!

...At least that's my impression. And I'm not hundred percent sure about the sheep.

You would be if you had seen the movie Black sheep

Please, it's only New Zealand's sheep that can go zombie.

And now I've posted in a thread about Australia for no real reason...

Well, I suppose I have been there, so here's my advice:
Don't have a New Zealand accent. Armed mobs of angry Australians will close in on you and try to rip your limbs off, then feed you to their sinister dropbear gods.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

Well, I suppose I have been there, so here's my advice:
Don't have a New Zealand accent. Armed mobs of angry Australians will close in on you and try to rip your limbs off, then feed you to their sinister dropbear gods.

Which is very ironic since most people outside of Australia and New Zealand couldn't tell the difference between the two accents.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Well, I suppose I have been there, so here's my advice:
Don't have a New Zealand accent. Armed mobs of angry Australians will close in on you and try to rip your limbs off, then feed you to their sinister dropbear gods.

Which is very ironic since most people outside of Australia and New Zealand couldn't tell the difference between the two accents.

How is that Ironic?

 

[Dr.Susse]

if your still tossing up between coming or not, watch neighbours its just like australia.
'sarcasum dosen't work on the internet'

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

How is that Ironic?

Ok, maybe it isn't.

 

[SirDeadly]

Adelaide is an alright place if you like churches otherwise it's pretty boring here. The Gold Coast is good most of the time (especially if you have family you can stay with for free accommodation ~_^ )

 

[PurpleRain]

Well, I suppose I have been there, so here's my advice:
Don't have a New Zealand accent. Armed mobs of angry Australians will close in on you and try to rip your limbs off, then feed you to their sinister dropbear gods.

Which is very ironic since most people outside of Australia and New Zealand couldn't tell the difference between the two accents.

How is that Ironic?

How ironic. He misused irony. (I'm joing in! Weeeeeee!)

Anyway, on a more serious note: I don't know where you heard we'll tear your limbs off. Ho no! Too fast. Australia Beer Torture. Which is Chinese water torture replacing water with VB.

 

[BonsaiK]

I live in Australia so here's my 10 tips for anyone coming here:

1. Don't come in February, it is too hot - it's the time we all go to your country to cool off and see snow for the first time in our lives.
2. Don't put your hand into anything that you can't see the inside of. Australia has two species of spider that can kill adult humans and another half dozen that can really fuck you over, and they all like to live in holes that your hand can fit in.
3. Don't leave built-up areas without at least 4 litres of water per person or you will die.
4. Don't go swimming anywhere on the northern half of the continent, at sea or inland. Steve Irwin thought he could handle it and he was wrong. So are you.
5. If you see a snake even if it is not that big don't try and be a hero because you will die horribly in Darwin Award-winning style. However, any lizard less than three feet long is harmless.
6. We drink more than you. Accept this fact. Do not be lured by peer pressure into attempts at bettering the alcoholic consumption of Australians (unless you are German in which case you can disregard this bit). Do not be fooled by Australian women and their charming physiques that appear to show no signs of alcohol abuse as they will also swiftly drink you under the table.
7. American accent making social acceptance tricky? Tell them you are from Canada. Or anywhere else, and say you were taught English by an American. However, if you are from New Zealand just tell everyone that you are Australian but from another part of the country, and do not ever utter the word "six" or anything that rhymes with "six".
8. A "thong" is not the article of clothing that you think it is. Using this word in public or private with an Australian could have consequences very different from what you had in mind.
9. "Australian cuisine" isn't. Eat Asian/Italian/Mexican/anything else you can get your hands on. High immigration over the years means the Asian restaurants in particular are universally high standard. But eat proper food because our fast food is the same crap you guys eat, and there's no point even coming here when you can eat that junk at home.
10. Don't pitch a tent under a tree for obvious reasons mentioned by other posters. Native animals look cute and cuddly but they will fuck your shit up if you try any of that Mickey Mouse shit, do not approach them.

 

[Ninja_daemon117]

Well, the only animal that may not kill you is the sheep.

Everything else is a deadly, vicious monster read to kill ya!!

...At least that's my impression. And I'm not hundred percent sure about the sheep.

You would be if you had seen the movie Black sheep

Please, it's only New Zealand's sheep that can go zombie.

And now I've posted in a thread about Australia for no real reason...

Well, I suppose I have been there, so here's my advice:
Don't have a New Zealand accent. Armed mobs of angry Australians will close in on you and try to rip your limbs off, then feed you to their sinister dropbear gods.

Yea I know I live in NZ

 

[The Iron Ninja]

I don't know where you heard we'll tear your limbs off.

You can't trick me into coming back with your lies.
I only just escaped with all my appendages the first time.

Ho no! Too fast. Australia Beer Torture. Which is Chinese water torture replacing water with VB.

Now that's just too horrific for words.
Y'know... other than the above seven, and these twelve words found below.

 

[El Poncho]

I went to melbourne, it was pretty good

 

[Gather]

It may sound bad but:

1) Choose a random "Around Australia" tourism deal
2) Apply for it
3) Enjoy a pre-planned vacation that takes you to a lot of the major sites you want to see

 

[PurpleRain]

I don't know where you heard we'll tear your limbs off.

You can't trick me into coming back with your lies.

Drats. So close as well. We'll get you New Zealand! And your little Kiwi too!