This game SUCKS! The complainer complains about minor mistakes in great games.

[The Austin]

Mass Effect.

I just got this game used, and i'm having a hell of a time. I decided to be a sniper class, thinking it would be fun. Well that was a mistake. Turns out that you better damn well be a soldier if you don't want to die an absurd amount of time. Seriously, i'm killing this weird mind control plant, and none of the enemies ever give you medigel. Basically, you can't get hit at all, or your screwed. Not to mention this random clone appears at each node that can knock you down, paralyze you, and then sap away only your health. Your shield disappear frickin instantly, and then you get mobbed by these vomiting plant zombies that also only do health damage. I have to basically hide behind my allies. Which brings me to my next complaint, allied AI. You have to tell them to do fucking ANYTHING! Either they follow you mindlessly and refuse to run away from zombies that just stand next to them and vomit. They die way too easily, and don't use their abilities on their own. ENEMIES can use their abilities on their own, why the hell can't my goddamn allies!?!?!?!? No, they just stand there and die, leaving me open, oh and by the way, my sniper can only shoot twice before overheating. Not to mention you can't zoom in when you have low health. The wiggle when you zoom in is impossible to deal with, even at point blank. It's as if your character has goddamn Parkinson's or something.

Seriously, why don't they just tell you to be a soldier, why offer other classes at all.

Also, the biotic powers (I think) are super cheap. Seriously, being able to paralyze me and sap my health with an undodgeable attack is cheap, no debate necessary.

Finally, why is the game so goddamn vague. They don't tell you how to do fucking ANYTHING! Why can't they tell you how do do things.

Ok, this is finally the end of my rant. I have a terrible feeling I'm going about this game all wrong, but i'll be damned if the game will show me a better option.

I played through as an adept with no remarkable trouble... Maybe you need to accept that you're not that good.

Look on the bright side, Mass Effect blew anyways.(In my opinion)
You can find a better game that your good at, like Dragon Age.

 

[thatstheguy]

Oh. An angry reviewer. How original. *cough Zero Punctuation cough*

More like *cough* every other game reviewer in existence *cough*

Back on topic. In Banjo-Kazooie, every time you died or exited a level, you had to recollect all the Jinjos and music notes again. Talk about tedious.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I think the idea of zombies has been changed so many times that they can almost anything. So saying they HAVE to stumble is reduntant.

May I make one about a zombie who has been undead for 100+ years and rather than eat humans he eats animals. He could also be in love with a teenager and sparkle out in the sunlight.

Man, if they made a zombie like that I would never ever like zombies ever again. Lets hope it doesn't happen to anything else I happen to like.

OT: I wonder if that will get you flamed a lot :O I better check the thread to see.

(Are Werewolf's also dumb now, because I recall that the Captain in Hellsing had a silver-sparkle thing going on, or was that just the light reflected from his fur?)

 

[Cherry Cola]

The controls, characters, and final missions in Killzone 2.

Controls were awful IMO, characters were all assholes that I hoped would die (and the only characters I actually DID like died), and the final mission was a giant grindfest with an achievement for beating the boss in under 20 minutes.

Grrr, I hated that boss. I tried to hold my position on the balcony and have Rico take one side and I the other, but the idiot just died and died and died.

Even though Radec was generic, I seem to be the only one that liked him

 

[Cherry Cola]

well dude its not the hl2 that sucked its your mom !

What the fuck?
Are you six or something?

I think you'll feel more comfortable on Xbox LIVE, where "gay" is a really witty and cool insult to use.

snip

First of all: DOUBLE POST IS BAD.

I put it in caps and eschewed grammar because I figured it would be easiest for you to understand if someone was yelling at you.

Samurai goomba once said:

Second of all: We have a quote function. Learn to use it.

Well my friend its not the game that suck its your sluty mom

Third of all: You are an idiot.
I'm not even insulting you.
I'm just stating an obvious fact - the sooner you accept this fact, the better.
Now go get me an iced coffee.

if it sucks so much why do everybody like it

Simple answer?
"Everybody" does not like it.
Slightly more complicated (to you) answer?
HE WAS FUCKING KIDDING
I don't expect you to understand what hyperbole means, but read the opening post.

you idiot

Don't insult other users.
I know, this seems hypocritical (that word means "I do it even though I say it's wrong." Well, not really, but that's as close to understanding it as you'll ever get.) but I wasn't insulting you - Samurai Goomba is a lot of things: A dude, a Christian, an American, a secret agent, a Cowboy Beebop fan, et cetera - but he's not, unlike you, an idiot.

learn to get past small game misstakes

NEWSFLASH FOR THE SLOW: POINTING OUT MISTAKES IN GREAT GAMES IS THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF THIS THREAD, AS HAS BEEN STATED NUMEROUS TIMES.
Why do I have to yell at you to get points across?
Because you're obviously slow.

and fail or better GET A LIFE instead of bitchin on an internet

I know you'll never understand the concept of irony either, but just in case someone tries to explain it to you, this would be a great example for them to use.

you may say get a life your self to me but ha i alredy have one

No, he wouldn't.
He's too polite to tell you how stupid you are - presumably, he also has no wish to be banned.
I, on the other hand, am neither inclined to put up with your stupidity nor fearful of the banhammer - when it comes, and it will come, I will not mind in the slightest.

snip

I like mine better.

You were too nice, as predicted.

... There should be some kind of badge for that kind of domination. The little newbie didn't stand a chance.

 

[AndyVale]

Every Pokemon game on a Gameboy.

Only one save file. Fuck off.

I had a serious issue with that when I was younger. I'm writing a thread based on it right now actually. 9 years on and I'm still not over it.

 

[DigitalSushi]

So you would have preferred it if Left 4 Dead was just stumbling Zombies and a Tank?.

 

[ctrl-alt-postal]

Well, don't know if I consider it a "minor" mistake, but anything bethesda does seems lacking in quality control. I mean, seriously, great writers, artists, map designers ect, but releasing fallout 3 with a beta .net framework?? See http://www.tech-forums.net/pc/f15/fallout-3-crash-desktop-solution-here-189880/ for a list of software bugs. I have a CTD ~2hours on a clean install of windows XP (which I installed ONLY for this game, as it be buggy under wine).

On a more on-topic gameplay note, I find it amusing/unsatisfying that I snipe mutant in head, mutant next to him goes "oh well, it was nothing"!!!

The inventory system in kotor and mass effect was an exorcise in anger management, mabye it should have been marketed as "a unique puzzle-based item system".

 

[ethaninja]

I think the idea of zombies has been changed so many times that they can almost anything. So saying they HAVE to stumble is reduntant.

Indeed.

 

[Biek]

Oh. An angry reviewer. How original. *cough Zero Punctuation cough*

Let me just say. If you're going to be an overly technical reviewer, don't put a score at the end. It just makes you seem like the world's worst critic.

this basically. your insanely biased.

Just like every other reviewer ever.

 

[Stuntcrab]

The Tank is NOT over powered if you and your team work togeather and all shoot the tank he could die in 10-20 seconds, the hunter is a zombie and zombies are sometimes not that bright, what? you think a zombie is going to be SOOO SMART it knows how to kill in the best manner?

 

[Samurai Goomba]

The Tank is NOT over powered if you and your team work togeather and all shoot the tank he could die in 10-20 seconds, the hunter is a zombie and zombies are sometimes not that bright, what? you think a zombie is going to be SOOO SMART it knows how to kill in the best manner?

Yes, let's all bump a thread that nobody understood the first time around, despite the concept being so extremely simple that lack of comprehension both defies even the lowest of expectations and causes me to lose so much faith in humanity.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperbole

Oh, also you are apparently in the group of people who are incapable of understanding the combination of sarcasm and hyperbole. If anyone here has ever seen the FF7 Spoony Experiment review, this is like that! How can people still not get it after six pages of this nonsense!

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

So this thread is basically for you people to make your complaints known. Hyperbole is perfectly fine as you'll see with my review, but just let flow your own or perhaps even your first review. Mine is.....

"LEFT 4 DEAD"

Not very often does there come a zombie apocolypse game that truly startles and envigorates a community of gamers, Left 4 Dead is not one of those games. While Valve promised a zombie game, they developed another 'infection' storyline with super-fast running infected. Sorry Valve, but zombies stumble towards you slowly. They don't barrel at you. Not only that but Valve actually have the balls to call you stupid to your face.

You start the game as four individuals that are obviously immune from the 'infected' put in a room where you can choose one of three weapons that NEVER JAM and always have a gigantic pile of infinite ammunitation scattered around. Yeah, that makes sense in the zombie apocolypse (or 'infected apocolypse). Any group would just abandon a ton of ammo during that time. *rolls eyes*

You play as either the old war vet who is just as fast as the youngsters and keeps up with them as well, or the black guy who was included so Valve wouldn't be called racist, or the biker guy who hates almost everything in the game, or the attractive woman who is not much more. This was a brilliant chance for Valve to be daring and incorporating a challenge timed to the calendar setting on our Xbox's and computers. We all know that zombies/infected have a terrific sense of smell, so Valve could've made it that difficulty was based on what time of the month it was. But no, just like every other female character there must me no mention of 'Aunt Flo'.

Now for the special infected that ruin the game. The tank is actually a reasonable monster who is basically a overpowered smashing device. However shots to the face don't really register as well to this beast so that a full shotgun clip can fill it and it'll still be moving. Next would be the monster that has Valve laughing at how stupid you are. Yes, you. Because you thought of this and didn't say anything but I WILL. The Boomer is a retarded mass of crap. They actually warn you not to get hit with his bile because it attracts 'the horde', so you must push him away and shoot him. What happens when you shoot him? He explodes, which logically would send bile around the area no matter what as well as ooze near his dead corpse. But nope, you're perfectly safe after you blow him up. Sorry Valve, I guess you just expect us to understand that gas explosions would still allow for liquid to exist. The smoker is next, with a tongue that for some reason regenerates yet when shot to death cannot regenerate itself. Add that the tongue when wrapped around a survivor doesn't hold their arms forcably to their sides, which allows for the survivor to easily get away from the beast...yet they just squirm and die slowly. Followed lastly by the hunter, who can jump terrific distances even though it'd be impossible for our bodies in any condition to do such. Not to mention that the hunter won't even do the logical thing of ripping the eyes out of the survivor when it leaps upon them. No, it would rather just slightly claw at the shoulders instead.


So "Left 4 Dead", a game that was supposed to allow the many players around the world (except in Australia) to feel the reality of a zombie apocolypse falls flat to the rational people of the world who would actually like to know how we would stand up against the zombies. Valve, I understood you tried so I'm willing to give you a score of


3/10

Well for starters they aren't actually zombies and aren't referred to as zombies properly they are rightly named Infected. Infected and zombies are different it just doesn't make sense to have a separate genre for infected as they are so close to zombies. There are a couple of other fatal flaws in the "review" although I understand it is meant to be a satire I just thought that really needed to be pointed out. It could of been funnier though.

 

[traineesword]

Every Pokemon game on a Gameboy.

Only one save file. Fuck off.

THIS!

Man, this frustrates me highly! I mean, c'mon! Even Harvest Moon gives you two save files! What's the deal Pokémon????

Because you are expected to buy both the 'blue' 'red' and 'yellow' of that generation.... so thats 3 game saves... ^-^
Nintendo rip us off sometimes... and lol, harvest moon, thats the game i play once every 4 months to relieve the stress of expectation...

 

[Zedzero]

Oh. An angry reviewer. How original. *cough Zero Punctuation cough*

Let me just say. If you're going to be an overly technical reviewer, don't put a score at the end. It just makes you seem like the world's worst critic.

this basically. your insanely biased.

Keller missed the whole joke? And ninja got it, just like ZP said "How does one put their thoughts and feeling into a score out of ten even though it's their own opinion?" or something like that...