This girl I like...

[nunqual]

I've made a topic about this before, but I think a reboot may be in order.

I really, really like a girl. I have for more than a year, where my stupid crushes go on for a couple of weeks max other than this one. I try, and I try hard to kill my crushes as soon as they start, usually I can easily find a way to overcome emotion and be my normal, boring, logical, calculating self, but my usual methods don't even come close to working. I am going on record saying that I am not an emotional person at all, that most of my emotions can go fuck themselves, and I have a very pessimistic outlook on just about everything. Especially romance.

To business: My main question is, how do I just get over this? If it really can't be that easy, does anyone have any general tips or advice on how to kill this or, really, anything else I can do? By the by, she has had a steady boyfriend for several months. As if my situation wasn't shitty enough, she's taken too. Sorry if I come across as whiny.

You've gotta just hang tight man. I used to really like gal until I found out she liked another guy and he liked her. I never get in the way of couples like that. I've never been in your kind of situation, but I know that you can't just dump some emotions, it takes time.

 

[The_Healer]

You do come across as whiney.

Question: If you are so cold and unemotional, why are you opening yourself up to the escapist? Its not like anyone here is able to magically change the way you feel.

 

[noodles loves you]

dude, when you've liked a girl with no action taken or moving on in the time period it takes for it to be worth making another thread... well, that's pretty socially backwards. face issues up front, be honest about this stuff to the people involved (this tends to clear the air and/or get you hit, something that turns people sour QUICK) or just sit there pondering about it openly to a large group of people who have proven in the past to be nowhere near the necessary level of competence to give good emotional/romantic advice.


.... okay i may be grouchy tonight

 

[Dango]

I'm confused as to why you're trying to kill these emotions in the first place. Emotions are quite invaluable assets, so ignoring them can't be very good... but as to how you go about killing these emotions, I guess you can just distract yourself.

 

[thedeathscythe]

Take her from him. I've only been able to do it once, but the girl I had was with a jerk of a guy, so I hung out with her and eventually she left him for me. Now, don't go calling me a dick and stuff, I'm not really proud of it, but I don't really regret it either. I'm just saying, if you think you can be a better man for her than he is, prove it to her. And if you are, she'll choose you.

 

[SovietSecrets]

Why not just ask her out anyways and have fun with it? If she shoots you down then you can get over. Seems like a part of you still hopes you have a chance and thats whats stopping you getting over it.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

It doesn't work that way. You can try all the ways you want to work around it, if you've got feelings for someone, then you've got feelings for them. Unrequited love sucks, but it's one of the many parts of life with which one must simply deal. Trust me on this one, by the way, I tried everything from drugs to denial to get over a girl I was crazy about after she left me, it's too years later and I still feel the same about her. And I did a lot of damage to myself in the process of trying to get over it.

They say that time heals all wounds, and really that's your only option. Just learn to live with it, you'll be surprised at the things that time can do when nothing else can.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

To business: My main question is, how do I just get over this? If it really can't be that easy, does anyone have any general tips or advice on how to kill this or, really, anything else I can do? By the by, she has had a steady boyfriend for several months. As if my situation wasn't shitty enough, she's taken too. Sorry if I come across as whiny.

Uhm, I don't know how to help you really. I just usually do what you do (kill the emotions) and eventually they go away. In fact it's even gotten to a point where I find it harder and harder to feel those emotions at all, even in situations where their prescence would be pretty appropriate. It's pretty awesome.

The only real tip I can give you is to keep on killing them whenever they show up. Eventually they'll become like a whipped dog that doesn' try to bother you too much anymore.

 

[Pielikey]

Kill her and her family and move to Mexico.

I'm really not good with this, but you know who is? <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread>BonsaiK! Gotta give him some work, we can't risk letting him loose in here.

Or this. This is probably the better option.

Really? I'd go with the first option

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

My suggestion. Get an icepick, and give yourself a lobotomy. Sure, you may lose some higher brain functions but the emotions should be gone!

What if you enjoy those higher brain functions, but simply don't wish to be bothered by pesky emotions of infatuation?

I hate being attracted to someone, but I'd never want to part ways with my brilliant intellect. It's the most fun toy I've ever owned.

 

[HotFezz8]

I've made a topic about this before, but I think a reboot may be in order.

To business: My main question is, how do I just get over this? If it really can't be that easy, does anyone have any general tips or advice on how to kill this or, really, anything else I can do? By the by, she has had a steady boyfriend for several months. As if my situation wasn't shitty enough, she's taken too. Sorry if I come across as whiny.

yeah - don't.

ok this situation sucks, but seriously mate you will regret not trying for any of those girls literally months after you stop seeing them. for fuck sake man it doesn't hurt to try!

 

[HotFezz8]

My suggestion. Get an icepick, and give yourself a lobotomy. Sure, you may lose some higher brain functions but the emotions should be gone!

...but I'd never want to part ways with my brilliant intellect...

ok fuck the original reason he needs the ice-pick-frontal-lobotomy now just for the ego.

;-p jks!

 

[Angryman101]

I've made a topic about this before, but I think a reboot may be in order.

I really, really like a girl. I have for more than a year, where my stupid crushes go on for a couple of weeks max other than this one. I try, and I try hard to kill my crushes as soon as they start, usually I can easily find a way to overcome emotion and be my normal, boring, logical, calculating self, but my usual methods don't even come close to working. I am going on record saying that I am not an emotional person at all, that most of my emotions can go fuck themselves, and I have a very pessimistic outlook on just about everything. Especially romance.

To business: My main question is, how do I just get over this? If it really can't be that easy, does anyone have any general tips or advice on how to kill this or, really, anything else I can do? By the by, she has had a steady boyfriend for several months. As if my situation wasn't shitty enough, she's taken too. Sorry if I come across as whiny.

Blah blah blah relationship problem blah blah blah.

Oh, wait. This is actually a problem I could hypothetically help with. I'm an expert at crushing emotion - although it's sometimes slipped past me with very disturbing effects. What I generally use are my own Rules of Romantic Interactions.

1) Unless explicitly proven otherwise, he/she already has a romantic partner.
1a) On the internet, unless explicitly proven otherwise, she is a man.

2) Even if they are not currently involved in a romantic relationship, they almost certainly are not interested in you.

3) Accentuate their negative traits. Talk to them, identify a feature which you find distasteful or annoying, and focus on that and how little you want to be associated with somebody with that trait.

4) If you cannot successfully identify a negative trait to focus on, accentuate your own negative traits. Find some feature of your own personality which is distasteful or annoying (but not vulgar or offensive) and accentuate that.

5) If you cannot bring it on yourself to act on Rule 4, it is not of critical importance; unless they're stalking you - in which case, you shouldn't have any moral quandries about acting on Rule 4 - they will have accentuated your negative traits for you and recognised that they are not interested in you.

If that doesn't work, there's somebody here who can give you genuine relationship advice. [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread]

My suggestion. Get an icepick, and give yourself a lobotomy. Sure, you may lose some higher brain functions but the emotions should be gone!

What if you enjoy those higher brain functions, but simply don't wish to be bothered by pesky emotions of infatuation?

I hate being attracted to someone, but I'd never want to part ways with my brilliant intellect. It's the most fun toy I've ever owned.

I've never really gotten why people choose to quash these kinds of emotions. Flirting and talking and sexing with a person whose company you enjoy is a lot of fun.
OP: Quashing your emotions doesn't do anything but ruin your enjoyment of things. Let yourself out and have some fun with this chick, even though she has a boyfriend. Subtly seduce her until she realizes that he's a ponce and you are the hairy Greek god of boning. Have fun with her, and enjoy each others' company.

 

[Lt. Dragunov]

Sorry dude but the is NOTHING you can really do about it. KNow one can kill thier emotions or control them for that fact. yous gonna have to ride it you and try to keep your sanity, easyer said than done.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

yeah - don't.

ok this situation sucks, but seriously mate you will regret not trying for any of those girls literally months after you stop seeing them. for fuck sake man it doesn't hurt to try!

Then again, we're all gonna regret something before we die. It is impossible to die without regrets, unless perhaps if you die during your own birth.

So i'd say that you'll feel a lot better if you embrace the fact that you're gonna regret things on your deathbed no matter how much you try to "live life" (you know, in that sense where you simoply have to try EVERYTHING that comes your way that's being overly hyped these days).

Quite simply, take the edge out of the prospect of regretting something and do whatever the hell one wants.

Regret is natural, so let's stop trying to deny ourselves of the feeling. In fact, even if we try to deny ourselves of it, we're probably going to regret that too at some point...

 

[BlackWidower]

I've made a topic about this before, but I think a reboot may be in order.

I really, really like a girl. I have for more than a year, where my stupid crushes go on for a couple of weeks max other than this one. I try, and I try hard to kill my crushes as soon as they start, usually I can easily find a way to overcome emotion and be my normal, boring, logical, calculating self, but my usual methods don't even come close to working. I am going on record saying that I am not an emotional person at all, that most of my emotions can go fuck themselves, and I have a very pessimistic outlook on just about everything. Especially romance.

To business: My main question is, how do I just get over this? If it really can't be that easy, does anyone have any general tips or advice on how to kill this or, really, anything else I can do? By the by, she has had a steady boyfriend for several months. As if my situation wasn't shitty enough, she's taken too. Sorry if I come across as whiny.

Been there. Actually, am there. My advice, look for, and focus on, her flaws.

This girl I like. She's a fan of Glee. God damn! That works.

 

[Talshere]

I've made a topic about this before, but I think a reboot may be in order.

I really, really like a girl. I have for more than a year, where my stupid crushes go on for a couple of weeks max other than this one. I try, and I try hard to kill my crushes as soon as they start, usually I can easily find a way to overcome emotion and be my normal, boring, logical, calculating self, but my usual methods don't even come close to working. I am going on record saying that I am not an emotional person at all, that most of my emotions can go fuck themselves, and I have a very pessimistic outlook on just about everything. Especially romance.

To business: My main question is, how do I just get over this? If it really can't be that easy, does anyone have any general tips or advice on how to kill this or, really, anything else I can do? By the by, she has had a steady boyfriend for several months. As if my situation wasn't shitty enough, she's taken too. Sorry if I come across as whiny.

Find out if she likes you too maybe? I know I know its so much easier to say then do. But seriously, girl in my A-level physics class I liked for 2 years, I found out like 6 weeks before the end of term that she'd liked for the whole time. I regret now not acting earlier though I doubt it will be the last time I make such a mistake, sadly we left it too late She when off to uni while I stayed for a 3rd year in college which kinda ended everything after she left.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

I've never really gotten why people choose to quash these kinds of emotions. Flirting and talking and sexing with a person whose company you enjoy is a lot of fun.
OP: Quashing your emotions doesn't do anything but ruin your enjoyment of things. Let yourself out and have some fun with this chick, even though she has a boyfriend. Subtly seduce her until she realizes that he's a ponce and you are the hairy Greek god of boning. Have fun with her, and enjoy each others' company.

Yeah, because people with no inhibitions who sleep around and flirt at every opportune moment are completely happy and have no emotional baggage what so ever... Right?

Don't worry, you'll learn what im talking about at some point. Time does that.

Also, do remember that what you consider to be "fun" might be supremely boring or just not very enjoyable to others.

Heck there are actually people who think that WAR is fun (im not kidding, there are people who are addicted to being shot at, killing people and seeing their comerades in arms die right before their very eyes). And we can try to label these people as "sick" or "psychotic" as much as we like, but that doesn't change the fact that perceptions about different activities vary from person to person.