This girl I like...

[Housebroken Lunatic]

I believe it is possible to live with no regret http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH3f9GC9ufw

Hehe, believe it all you like mate. It won't change the fact that you'll probably regret something on your deathbed. Even if it is something as simple and trivial as passing up that one fucking hamburger that got away, or not fucking with enough members of the opposite sex (or the same sex if you swing that way).

So why worry about regrets?

 

[chickenlord]

i've had your problem before...and im sure you've done this before but... just accept that shes taken, not worth it, the bad parts about a relationship, and look at the good parts about being lonely. focus on something instead of her, school work, a career, or just a hobby... or forcibly pretend that shes ugly... or that shes a *****... it might lead to some mental illnesses on your part but if you want to avoid the emotion...

 

[Lineoutt]

I've made a topic about this before, but I think a reboot may be in order.

I really, really like a girl. I have for more than a year, where my stupid crushes go on for a couple of weeks max other than this one. I try, and I try hard to kill my crushes as soon as they start, usually I can easily find a way to overcome emotion and be my normal, boring, logical, calculating self, but my usual methods don't even come close to working. I am going on record saying that I am not an emotional person at all, that most of my emotions can go fuck themselves, and I have a very pessimistic outlook on just about everything. Especially romance.

To business: My main question is, how do I just get over this? If it really can't be that easy, does anyone have any general tips or advice on how to kill this or, really, anything else I can do? By the by, she has had a steady boyfriend for several months. As if my situation wasn't shitty enough, she's taken too. Sorry if I come across as whiny.

This is ironic but I too am having the same exact problem with a boy except he is single and shy. Its illogical and I want to kill the feeling but the feeling wants to LIVE. Let me know if anything you try works and ill let you know if anything works for me >.<.

 

[diego_2112]

I believe it is possible to live with no regret http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH3f9GC9ufw

Hehe, believe it all you like mate. It won't change the fact that you'll probably regret something on your deathbed. Even if it is something as simple and trivial as passing up that one fucking hamburger that got away, or not fucking with enough members of the opposite sex (or the same sex if you swing that way).

So why worry about regrets?

I can honestly say I've led a fucked up life. Do I regret it? Hells no! Do you know WHY I dont regert it? Because every one of those fuckups, every mistake, everthing that MOST people WOULD regret, has made me the person I am today... Yes, some see me as pessimistic. Yes, some see me as jaded. Yes, some see me as "that dude that SHOULD be locked up in a rubber room," but hey, what the fuck do I care, right? It's my life! So what if I spent most of high school strung out? Big deal, it made me who I am. Yeah, my mind dont work as good as it used to, and my memory is shot to fucking hell, but it's alright, ya know? I'm over that suicidal emo crap, and I'm fine with the person I am and the choices I made.

And a HAMBURGER? Seioursly? How is that a LEGIT regret?

Stare death in the eyes, then kick him in the balls. Live life to the fullest, drink another beer. Do not believe in yourself; Believe in me, who believes in YOU!

 

[Angryman101]

1. Everyone has baggage.

Splendid, then we can both conclude that fucking and "nejoyin eachothers company" doesn't solve all of life's problems, and that it would be wrong to assume it would.

2. That is why I merely said I don't understand how nor why people quash those emotions. And no, I don't think I will understand, because I've gone through heartbreak and trying to be asexual and love, and I've come to the conclusion that if done right, romance and attraction can be beneficial to psychological health and the general sense of happiness in my life while still being productive and successful in my scholarly and economical endeavors, as have many other people I know. So don't talk down to me about it.

Im not "talking down" to you anymore than you do to the OP. Also, if you don't understand the mindset of the OP then why do you insist on giving the kind of advice that might have been more helpful to YOU than to him?

I get you might feel this empowering sense of wisdom, because you've made a bunch of realisations about yourself as a person. But that doesn't mean that your "wisdom" can apply to anyone.

Just something that might be worth considering.

3. You seem to be equating sexual attraction and love, two of the most basic, core emotions and feelings of the human condition, two things that your brain is naturally hard-wired to seek and reward you for and has been with every previous iteration of your species since we became creatures that reproduced sexually, with being an adrenaline junky; someone who has a certifiable psychological condition. Yeah, no. That is a terrible comparison.

No I didn't. Read what I wrote again and again until you get it.

Also, you're assuming way too much about "the human condition". But that's material for another thread...

1. Funny, I don't remember positing that it solves all of life's problems, nor any of them. I do, however, remember that I stated that I think it is fun and enjoyable, and, therefore, that I don't understand why some people choose to repress those activities/feelings.
2. This person is asking for advice. I gave him counsel on how best to navigate his current situation based on my personal experiences and what has best worked for me. I'm fairly certain that's actually the definition of advice.
'You'll learn in time' sounds an awful lot like you're talking down to me. I would have to say it sounds like that because it IS you being condescending, talking as if you have learned some great secret and smiling coyly as you tell me that I will learn it in time. It doesn't really matter if you didn't mean it to be, it makes me want to punch you in the face.
3. Nnnno, I'm pretty sure you were equating me thinking that sex and romance is fun and fulfilling with being an adrenaline junky (albeit indirectly) and using that as an example of differing perspectives, which is in itself a flawed argument since there is something provably wrong with those that are adrenaline junkies and their perspectives are skewed by their addiction. And I'm assuming nothing about the human condition, this has been proven again and again and again by history and fables and literature and art.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

1. Funny, I don't remember positing that it solves all of life's problems, nor any of them. I do, however, remember that I stated that I think it is fun and enjoyable, and, therefore, that I don't understand why some people choose to repress those activities/feelings.

Yes. And through your lack of understanding, you kind of belittle the OP by coming up with some shitty advice that only really applies to you and not the OP.

Your statement can basically be bottled down to this: "I don't understand you. Just fuck with a woman and it'll probably work out."

My point being: if you don't even want to TRY and understand, why bother with the advice at all?

2. This person is asking for advice. I gave him counsel on how best to navigate his current situation based on my personal experiences and what has best worked for me. I'm fairly certain that's actually the definition of advice.
'You'll learn in time' sounds an awful lot like you're talking down to me. I would have to say it sounds like that because it IS you being condescending, talking as if you have learned some great secret and smiling coyly as you tell me that I will learn it in time. It doesn't really matter if you didn't mean it to be, it makes me want to punch you in the face.

I don't really care if anything I do makes you want to punch me in the face. It's not really any of my concern.

Word of advice though: Perhaps it would do you good to work out why you suffer from sudden impulses towards physical violence from simple conversation/discussion.

I'll admit to being an anti-social prick myself, but even I don't go that far.

3. Nnnno, I'm pretty sure you were equating me thinking that sex and romance is fun and fulfilling with being an adrenaline junky (albeit indirectly)

So you're paranoid to boot?

and using that as an example of differing perspectives, which is in itself a flawed argument since there is something provably wrong with those that are adrenaline junkies and their perspectives are skewed by their addiction.

"Wrong" according to what, exactly?

And I'm assuming nothing about the human condition, this has been proven again and again and again by history and fables and literature and art.

"Proven" my ass. History, fables, litterature and art aren't disciplines of science. These do not prove anything...

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

Surpress those emotions! When you start to think about her, immediately think about something else. Get into that habit and hopefully you'll stop thinking about her in general. Try to avoid being around her so that you don't have to think about her. If you do have to think about her than quash any romantic thoughts with the above-mentioned method. It may take some time but eventually you'll just stop caring about her (in my experience anyway). Or try finding someone else to be attracted too. That may just change the object of your problem so that may not be the best method, but if its that perticular girl that is the problem it can be very effective.

 

[pretentiousname01]

Speaking as a bitter hate filled person myself I recommend

[img src="http://weston.donotdrive.com/zipcart/images/liquors/jackdaniels175_small.jpg" /img]

All in all there really isn't anything you can do except distance yourself and ride it out.

She's not gonna leave him for you. If she did leave him it would be for something that went down in their relationship. If she's holding out for something better, (read as you) then she's just gonna leave you for someone else better down the line. If they did break up you'd be best to wait some time before even doing anything due to roller coaster of emotions that comes with the whole situation.

Its just easier, drink up!

 

[Blue Musician]

Kill her and her family and move to Mexico

What if I already live in Mexico?

 

[Irridium]

Kill her and her family and move to Mexico

What if I already live in Mexico?

Kill the family and move to Guatemala.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

And a HAMBURGER? Seioursly? How is that a LEGIT regret?

You migh say that now, but impending death tend to give you a rather different perspective on things.

This because somewhere deep down inside you know that you can pass up a tasty hamburger today, becaus you know you could always get one tomorrow, and if not then, then you can get one the day after that etc. etc.

But with impending death, you come to the horrible realisation that there is not tomorrow. You won't get any more chances at anything. And suddenly you'll think back to all those trivial litle things that you should've/shouldn't have done. It doesn't matter if it was passing up the career of a lifetime, getting laied with that one special gal or passing up on that one single hamburger.

Your current internal valuesystem of these things will be completely overturned once the truth sink in that you are going to die and pretty fucking soon.

So, it's all completely relative. It might not seem like a legit regret now, but you can be damn sure you'll have a different perspective on hese "trivial" regrets when you have to face your own mortality in a conscious state.

Personally, Iäve made a deal in actually coming to terms with this fact. Thus I don't worry about regrets. They'll come when they come. I see no reason to aler my behaviour or actions just in order to avoid some hypothetical and short term regrets, because ultimately it won't matter what choices I made. I could do EVERYTHING in my life "right", but when the end comes, those "right" choices will seem completely unimportant in comparison to that one single hamburger I let slip away.

Stare death in the eyes, then kick him in the balls. Live life to the fullest, drink another beer. Do not believe in yourself; Believe in me, who believes in YOU!

Don' worry about me. You have to stare death in the eyes for quite some time to reach my conclusions.

Also you can't kick "him" in the balls. That's impossible. He's the one who kicks EVERYONE ELSE in the balls at the end.

"He's" The most epic nutbuster ever.

 

[Sacman]

Kill her and her family and move to Mexico

What if I already live in Mexico?

Kill Mexico and move to her family...

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Kill her and her family and move to Mexico

What if I already live in Mexico?

Kill the family and move to Guatemala.

Hehe. I sense a "Deep South"-joke coming on here.

 

[Blue Musician]

Kill her and her family and move to Mexico

What if I already live in Mexico?

Kill the family and move to Guatemala.

And what if part of her family lives in Guatemala?

Kill her and her family and move to Mexico

What if I already live in Mexico?

Kill Mexico and move to her family...

Hey, this one isn't a really bad idea! It's perfect! I shall put it to work!

 

[Irridium]

Kill her and her family and move to Mexico

What if I already live in Mexico?

Kill the family and move to Guatemala.

And what if part of her family lives in Guatemala?

Kill them and move to El Salvador.

Kill her and her family and move to Mexico

What if I already live in Mexico?

Kill Mexico and move to her family...

Hey, this one isn't a really bad idea! It's perfect! I shall put it to work!

Oh, this works too I guess...

 

[diego_2112]

And a HAMBURGER? Seioursly? How is that a LEGIT regret?

You migh say that now, but impending death tend to give you a rather different perspective on things.

This because somewhere deep down inside you know that you can pass up a tasty hamburger today, becaus you know you could always get one tomorrow, and if not then, then you can get one the day after that etc. etc.

But with impending death, you come to the horrible realisation that there is not tomorrow. You won't get any more chances at anything. And suddenly you'll think back to all those trivial litle things that you should've/shouldn't have done. It doesn't matter if it was passing up the career of a lifetime, getting laied with that one special gal or passing up on that one single hamburger.

Your current internal valuesystem of these things will be completely overturned once the truth sink in that you are going to die and pretty fucking soon.

So, it's all completely relative. It might not seem like a legit regret now, but you can be damn sure you'll have a different perspective on hese "trivial" regrets when you have to face your own mortality in a conscious state.

Personally, Iäve made a deal in actually coming to terms with this fact. Thus I don't worry about regrets. They'll come when they come. I see no reason to aler my behaviour or actions just in order to avoid some hypothetical and short term regrets, because ultimately it won't matter what choices I made. I could do EVERYTHING in my life "right", but when the end comes, those "right" choices will seem completely unimportant in comparison to that one single hamburger I let slip away.

Stare death in the eyes, then kick him in the balls. Live life to the fullest, drink another beer. Do not believe in yourself; Believe in me, who believes in YOU!

Don' worry about me. You have to stare death in the eyes for quite some time to reach my conclusions.

Also you can't kick "him" in the balls. That's impossible. He's the one who kicks EVERYONE ELSE in the balls at the end.

"He's" The most epic nutbuster ever.

Friend, I've stared Death in the eyes TOO many times... Hell, I just did dodge kidney failure! I'm on a fucked up diet, but hey, my kidneys SHOULD resume normal functions in the next few weeks/months.

I was living in Africa some years ago, contracted malaria while I was there. That's a NASTY sickness, wouldnt wish it on anyone. It got to the stage of things they call "Black Water Feaver," which, sparing the grizzily details, means you've got blood coming out pretty much every oraface.

The doctor ended up pronouncing me dead for a grand total of nearly a quarter of an hour (to answer the questions, yes, there was a light, no, I was NOT moving towards it. Things in the direction I was going were VERY hot...), before I came back around. No heart beat, no brain activity. It is by the grace of God that I'm here today.

Car wrecks, knife fights, getting shot, being lost in the desert, the list goes on...

I've stared Death down more than once, and will probably meet him again before my time is through... I can tell you this, when my time is up, I'm going to walk up to Death, and greet him like an old friend. Then we'll kick back in the Lounge of the Afterlife, and we'll tell stories of our exploits, and then he'll give me his scythe, and I'll be the New Grim Reaper.

I have no regrets. Nor will I when Death finally DOES catch me. IF he can!

 

[cheese_wizington]

Crushes go away with enough time, or so I'm told.

 

[Angryman101]

1. Funny, I don't remember positing that it solves all of life's problems, nor any of them. I do, however, remember that I stated that I think it is fun and enjoyable, and, therefore, that I don't understand why some people choose to repress those activities/feelings.

Yes. And through your lack of understanding, you kind of belittle the OP by coming up with some shitty advice that only really applies to you and not the OP.

Your statement can basically be bottled down to this: "I don't understand you. Just fuck with a woman and it'll probably work out."

My point being: if you don't even want to TRY and understand, why bother with the advice at all?

2. This person is asking for advice. I gave him counsel on how best to navigate his current situation based on my personal experiences and what has best worked for me. I'm fairly certain that's actually the definition of advice.
'You'll learn in time' sounds an awful lot like you're talking down to me. I would have to say it sounds like that because it IS you being condescending, talking as if you have learned some great secret and smiling coyly as you tell me that I will learn it in time. It doesn't really matter if you didn't mean it to be, it makes me want to punch you in the face.

I don't really care if anything I do makes you want to punch me in the face. It's not really any of my concern.

Word of advice though: Perhaps it would do you good to work out why you suffer from sudden impulses towards physical violence from simple conversation/discussion.

I'll admit to being an anti-social prick myself, but even I don't go that far.

3. Nnnno, I'm pretty sure you were equating me thinking that sex and romance is fun and fulfilling with being an adrenaline junky (albeit indirectly)

So you're paranoid to boot?

and using that as an example of differing perspectives, which is in itself a flawed argument since there is something provably wrong with those that are adrenaline junkies and their perspectives are skewed by their addiction.

"Wrong" according to what, exactly?

And I'm assuming nothing about the human condition, this has been proven again and again and again by history and fables and literature and art.

"Proven" my ass. History, fables, litterature and art aren't disciplines of science. These do not prove anything...

You're very frustrating to argue with because you think you're smart.
Your argument fell apart. You're just attacking me now. I half-jokingly gave him a piece of advice that has worked for me in the past without thinking too much about it until you started questioning me. I'm sorry if you think my advice is shitty, but honestly, I don't really care too much about the OP's situation and so I gave a very simple piece of advice that did not go into depth. I seriously doubt you care enough about the OP's situation to really try to understand what he should do in order to come out the happiest, since all you've been doing on this thread is trying to push your stupid ideas, as far as I can see.
I want to punch you because you are being a smarmy ****. I don't think that has any reprehensible implications, socially nor psychologically.
Wrong according to the normative psychological and chemical condition of a human being, and wrong according to biology. Those who take that kind of risk and can't function without the effects derived from participating in those kinds of risks aren't going to survive to pass down their genes, if they even felt the urge to, which in many cases they don't because it doesn't excite them anymore.
The way you worded your post made it seem as though you were comparing them, even if you didn't mean to. So no, I'm not paranoid, I merely am lacking in the psychic powers necessary to look past your words and into your mind for their true meaning, and I am sorry for that.