Thoughts About Getting Offended...

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

I try to live by a few things in life, one of which goes something like this:

Realize that whatever you do in life, no matter how small and seemingly inoffensive is probably offensive to someone else somewhere in the world. Realize also that the things that might offend you could be you being on the other side of the previous statement. Temper yourself, don't give in to the knee-jerk reaction and such. If you cannot state your side of things rationally, without coming off as combative or overly confrontational, its best to wait until your ire dies down. This won't always work, but give it a shot. Diplomacy is always the best policy when it comes to dealing with other humans, no matter how much you may dislike some that you run across.

This comes from years of working customer service in multiple fields, at least 50% of that is retail experience. In retail you're going to meet the worst personality types and some of the most offensive, entitled jackasses in the first world. Service with a smile doesn't mean you have to mean it, just means you grin and bear it and vent your frustrations away from the public eye.

I've found that most ire is just bluster and very little substance. A lot of folks tend to perceive that they've been wronged when in all likelihood they've just been misinformed or haven't educated themselves enough on something and their being offended is really just them realizing they're in the wrong and can't admit it. Of course thats not everyone, some people have legit complaints and have a right to be pissed off.

Everyone has a right to be offended at something, I don't deny that. You also have a right to realize that folks probably aren't going to give a rats ass whether you are or not. Reality of life is that most people won't care about you, and you probably don't really care all that much about them, so don't be surprised when people don't really want to listen to you. Just a thought.

 

[Ladylotus]

If I say to someone with a large Youtube/Twitch following "Hey that was kind of offensive to myself and no doubt several others." It's because language like that really shouldn't be normalized. As a trans* lesbian, seeing someone with millions of subscribers say the words "Dyke", "fag", or "Tranny" offhandedly will do nothing to help the LGBT+ community.

I don't say "That's offensive to me." To assholes on a train or bus. I let them be. Why? Because it's unlikely that they have the ability to influence massive numbers of people with those words. Someone in the spotlight, someone with a following, I'm going to say "hey, this language is hurtful to a large number of people, and since this is the first time you've used it could you try not using it in videos again?" (obviously not that exactly, the way I word things would obviously change depending on my mood, who the person was, etc.)

I don't go out of my way to get offended, nor am I going to start a smear campaign for "X Youtuber" because they used a word that shouldn't be normalized, but if someone in that position says something along those lines, I'm going to ask them to stop.

Am I being too easily offended? I don't think so, but others will disagree.

 

[Arctic Werewolf]

I think umbrage-taking is a tactic people use now to pressure others into agreeing with them or at least keeping quiet, and it's off the deep end these days. Ideological litmus tests are now standard for participation in websites about video games or just general interest sites. That is mega-ultra-crazy. I also think it's a social thing. Getting offended is the new gossip. In the age of trigger warnings, disinvitation and self-censorship, it's not easy to keep in mind that all this started with real social issues.

 

[StriderShinryu]

My opinion on this has always been that it's everyone's right to be offended by whatever they are offended by. It's not up to you to tell someone else what they shouldn't be offended by as being offended is based on a large number of personal aspects that you may or may not be privy to. There definitely is a point at which you could expect someone who is offended by something to start actively avoiding things that offend them, but it's important to realize that this isn't always sensible or possible. If being a jackass on the internet is considered the norm and someone is rightfully offended by that, is it really reasonable for someone to just "avoid the internet?" Sometimes those who are offended do have a point, even if you don't agree with it, and it would be best for everyone's interests to at least take them seriously. But, opinions, right?

My own experience is the the offended rarely justify their offense properly, and even rarer why the offendee should care. Taking a simple example: my Mom hates cursing, but I don't know why. Society seems to go along with this as it's still a word you can't say on network TV. Yet strangely you can say any number of synonyms, from the poetic making love, to the scientific coitus, to the still very crass banging, bopping, boning, screwing, humping....you get he point. So why is fuck offensive when words that convey the same activity aren't?

Are you joking? Fuck isn't just a synonym for sex, it's an expletive. The job of FUCK is to be offensive. We need people to be upset by it or it loses its power. By being offend your mother is giving fuck more power. Really she's doing a service to the word fuck, without her and people like her it wouldn't be able to do its job.

This is actually a very interesting point. I've always felt that cursing/swearing is meant to be offensive or, at least is intended as a sort of exclamation point. When someone who almost never swears does swear, it has impact. You are sort of taken aback and are forced to pause even in cases where no actual offense exists. When someone does nothing but swear every third word, swearing has no real power or meaning at all. It also makes that person sound, in my opinion, uneducated. If the only way you can express emphasis on something is to throw a "fuckin'" in front of it, you probably need to expand your vocabulary a little.

 

[Westaway]

Being offended is a choice. It is not an argument and it has nothing to do with ethics. Every single time someone has told me "I found that offensive", I have answered "So what? That is your choice".
The stoics understood this perfectly.