TMI
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My mother explaining to my sisters why the hell she and Dad started giggling when we arrived at the dock where my late grandfather kept his yacht:
"This is where your brother [a.k.a. ME] was concieved."
"This is where your brother [a.k.a. ME] was concieved."
I had friend yell, "I"M GUNNA KILL YOU TO DEATH!" while playing SSBM
Also during gears2 it was one of the guys on my team vs 2 on the other team, they were in a big shotgun battle, then one of my friends yelled, "Make the bullets shoot harder!"
Both classics.
Also during gears2 it was one of the guys on my team vs 2 on the other team, they were in a big shotgun battle, then one of my friends yelled, "Make the bullets shoot harder!"
Both classics.
I think I know that girl.darkless said:
(I do know a girl that did the very thing you describe.)
All my stories are greatly and graphically exaggerated. A story just isn't a story unless I can make the reader/listener wince or dry retch.
Like the time I had a pimple on the bridge of my nose. One of those deep, painful ones that doesn't come to a head. So I decided one day, "Bugger this". I got myself a needle, sterilised it in alcohol and stabbed myself right in the pimple. It hurt like hell and it took three stabs before I hit that rich reserve of greenish-white puss. It popped out so hard, I could actually hear the squirt of puss as it hit the window. Thinking it was over, I went and sat down. But the thing was still throbbing, so I returned to the bathroom and gave it another squeeze. Another spurt of puss came out of the thing, bigger than before. Just to be sure, I gritted my teeth and gave the thing a third squeeze, causing a final spurt of greeney white to come out, before getting ordinary blood pour from the thing.
Doused it with alcohol and proceeded to scour my skin harder from that day forth.
Like the time I had a pimple on the bridge of my nose. One of those deep, painful ones that doesn't come to a head. So I decided one day, "Bugger this". I got myself a needle, sterilised it in alcohol and stabbed myself right in the pimple. It hurt like hell and it took three stabs before I hit that rich reserve of greenish-white puss. It popped out so hard, I could actually hear the squirt of puss as it hit the window. Thinking it was over, I went and sat down. But the thing was still throbbing, so I returned to the bathroom and gave it another squeeze. Another spurt of puss came out of the thing, bigger than before. Just to be sure, I gritted my teeth and gave the thing a third squeeze, causing a final spurt of greeney white to come out, before getting ordinary blood pour from the thing.
Doused it with alcohol and proceeded to scour my skin harder from that day forth.
Well, there was that time that I was wondering what happend to a girl I (kinda) knew that vanished.
Later on I learned from my friends (and yes, I fact-checked) that she
Take it to heart ladys. Too much of a good thing does, in fact, exist.
Later on I learned from my friends (and yes, I fact-checked) that she
sliped on a broom and died. Why she couldn't use anything shorter is beyond me.
Take it to heart ladys. Too much of a good thing does, in fact, exist.
Or not. Snopes has examples collected if this particular tale from almost a decade ago [http://www.snopes.com/college/risque/broom.asp] and I've been hearing it far longer than that. Not to get TMI with the mechanics of female wanking, but girls generally do that sort of laying down (thus no slipping and falling), and even if girls did stand up to jill off, a broom is way to tall to stand over. It's not physically possible.qbert4ever said:
So there you go, fellas, a little dual lesson in female behavior as well as common sense.
Now, back on topic--
My grandfather talking about his wedding night with my grandmother: "That woman wore me out!"
when some ass tried to tell me where his medication was, I was like "piss off sicky"
never saw him after that so I guess I showed him who cares about what.
never saw him after that so I guess I showed him who cares about what.
Okay, I'll give that one a "maybe" (trust me, this is the best you could ever hope for out of me, and you should pat yourself on the back). But I do have one that I'm 100% sure happened. I'm gonna put in in a spoiler box because it is very nasty, and I don't want to give any little kids nightmares.mshcherbatskaya said:
A girl I know just went off to college and met a guy there. Long story short, they get together and she ends up giving him head. Cut to a few days later and she gets these weird sores in and around her mouth. I know what you're thinking, everybody else thought herpes too. So she ends up going to the doctors to get checked out, and lo and behold, it is not herpes. What is it you ask? Turns out, these weird sores are ones that you can only get from some type of contact with
dead bodies. Yep, turns out Mr. Awesome was having a little "fun" in the graveyard, and then gave it to her.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go throw up.
My roommate was conceived at a Bon Jovi concert, it makes me uncomfortable that I know that.
Oh and my friends mom told me she wanted to F*ck the sh*t outta me. She was inebriated and he was standing right there. Definition of awkward.
Oh and my friends mom told me she wanted to F*ck the sh*t outta me. She was inebriated and he was standing right there. Definition of awkward.