All my stories are greatly and graphically exaggerated. A story just isn't a story unless I can make the reader/listener wince or dry retch.
Like the time I had a pimple on the bridge of my nose. One of those deep, painful ones that doesn't come to a head. So I decided one day, "Bugger this". I got myself a needle, sterilised it in alcohol and stabbed myself right in the pimple. It hurt like hell and it took three stabs before I hit that rich reserve of greenish-white puss. It popped out so hard, I could actually hear the squirt of puss as it hit the window. Thinking it was over, I went and sat down. But the thing was still throbbing, so I returned to the bathroom and gave it another squeeze. Another spurt of puss came out of the thing, bigger than before. Just to be sure, I gritted my teeth and gave the thing a third squeeze, causing a final spurt of greeney white to come out, before getting ordinary blood pour from the thing.
Doused it with alcohol and proceeded to scour my skin harder from that day forth.
