TMI
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I got finished running the mile and went outside to cool off. Well some girls decided to do the same but payed no attention that I was there. I learned a lot of things about people I didn't realy want to know. Like this one chick would rather skip making out and just go straight to oral sex.PedroSteckecilo said:
Just because you're a dude doesn't mean you can't tell what makes other guys attractive to girls.Silver said:
Mid conversation with my mum, my BIRTH MOTHER, she turns to me and said "You know, with that long hair your exactly the kind of man I would've fucked back in Uni.".
Fortunately we were both drunk and she's never mentioned it since.
Fortunately we were both drunk and she's never mentioned it since.
That reminds me. A few years back we were preparing for our town fair. Back then, all the supplies were kept in the town pastors barn (now they're kept in a town owned loft). As me and some friends were rooting around in the way back of the barn, we found some really old boxes. Since they weren't marked, and us being boys, we decided to open it up.Mr_Cynical said:
I have to say, even though I am not a religious man, finding large stacks of Playboys in your pastors barn is a little..... Weird. To say the least. Things only got worse when one of my (idiot) friends decided to flip through one and found that some of the pages were sticking together.
Can I just say: Ewwww.
Oh, I don't rule that out. But it's better to be safe and not touch the damn things in the first place then run the risk of getting old man leftovers on your hands.Silver said:
I'm surprised people so widely disreguard the broom impaling story. I've heard stranger.
A girl came into the ER where my friend works complaining of stomach pains and cramps down south. They had a look and found it was a severe allergic reaction...to shellfish. They found small bits of shell there...she'd used a lobster as a dildo...
As for the whole death part I can definitely believe that. Guy came into the same ER with a large fishing weight stuck in his head. It had caught on something while fishing, he yanked it, it came loose hurtled towards him, smacked him in the face and went behind his eyeball. Somehow he didn't damage his eye in the process. (ok so he didn't die but you get the point if he had it wouldve made sense).
"In 1991, a 57-year-old Thai woman Yooket Paen was walking in her farm when she accidentally slipped on a cow dung, grabbed a naked live wire and got electrocuted to death.
Soon after Paen?s funeral, her 52-year-old-sister Yooket Pan was showing her neighbors how the accident happened when she herself slipped, grabbed the same live wire and also got electrocuted to death!"
See? Not so hard to believe.
A girl came into the ER where my friend works complaining of stomach pains and cramps down south. They had a look and found it was a severe allergic reaction...to shellfish. They found small bits of shell there...she'd used a lobster as a dildo...
As for the whole death part I can definitely believe that. Guy came into the same ER with a large fishing weight stuck in his head. It had caught on something while fishing, he yanked it, it came loose hurtled towards him, smacked him in the face and went behind his eyeball. Somehow he didn't damage his eye in the process. (ok so he didn't die but you get the point if he had it wouldve made sense).
"In 1991, a 57-year-old Thai woman Yooket Paen was walking in her farm when she accidentally slipped on a cow dung, grabbed a naked live wire and got electrocuted to death.
Soon after Paen?s funeral, her 52-year-old-sister Yooket Pan was showing her neighbors how the accident happened when she herself slipped, grabbed the same live wire and also got electrocuted to death!"
See? Not so hard to believe.
I got a friend who's told be quite a few things to much.
The most memorable are;
1. I was so stoned yesterday, I didn't have any food so I ate a box of butter, with a spoon.
2. I had sex in that chair last night. (The one I was sitting in, althoug this is a bit hackneyed it's true.)
3. Not really something he told me, he didn't really have to. He used to sleep on the couch in the living room, and he had a small collection of pron mags and movies lying under the livingroom table. I made sure i never had to sit in that couch, if there was no room to sit anywhere else i'd make up an exuse and leave.
Now he's grown up, stopped smoking pot and has a wife that cleans (not that i'm a sexist, it's just that he'd never do it) the house and probably satifies his sexual needs to, but I still don't sit in that couch when i'm at his house.
The most memorable are;
1. I was so stoned yesterday, I didn't have any food so I ate a box of butter, with a spoon.
2. I had sex in that chair last night. (The one I was sitting in, althoug this is a bit hackneyed it's true.)
3. Not really something he told me, he didn't really have to. He used to sleep on the couch in the living room, and he had a small collection of pron mags and movies lying under the livingroom table. I made sure i never had to sit in that couch, if there was no room to sit anywhere else i'd make up an exuse and leave.
Now he's grown up, stopped smoking pot and has a wife that cleans (not that i'm a sexist, it's just that he'd never do it) the house and probably satifies his sexual needs to, but I still don't sit in that couch when i'm at his house.
My girlfriends parents arent her real parents. Well her mam is but her dad isn't. In her mam's words, the fathers "Factory isn't open, but that doesn't mean his equipment doesn't work!"
I am still sort of afraid to look her in the eye after that.
I am still sort of afraid to look her in the eye after that.
My friend used to work at a 'Pork Farms' factory (they make pork pies & snack foods) and they had this huge block (like 6 foot square) of lard delivered, just before lunchtime.
When they went back after lunch to chop it up & take it inside, he noticed that there were some holes in the side. On closer inspection he saw some pubic hair around the holes...
When they went back after lunch to chop it up & take it inside, he noticed that there were some holes in the side. On closer inspection he saw some pubic hair around the holes...
I've had a conversation with one of my friend's Mums about penis sizes. Not my own, about other people's penises. I'm pretty sure I'm straight.
-Ricky
-Ricky
My mum has to tell me when her periods start... I know I have the damn things too but that doesn't mean I want to converse about it... She tells everyone as well, not just me.
Also when I'm not feeling too good she has to ask me if I've had a dump recently... And continues to ask me until I do go...
Yeesh, mothers...
Also when I'm not feeling too good she has to ask me if I've had a dump recently... And continues to ask me until I do go...
Yeesh, mothers...