I once had a very close friend of mine call me, at 3 A.M., to report that she had just finished a round of phone sex with her boyfriend, and then vomited because she felt so bad about having done it.
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- Thread starter sequio
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Actually, that was my exact question to her. Apparently she just felt horrible about having done it. So, after comforting her to the point that she stopped hysterically sobbing into the phone, I fell asleep, and now I always remember to turn my cell phone off before bed.handofpwn said:
1 friend, 3 short stories. The first is that he tasted his own... ejaculate... once, just because he wondered what it tasted like. "Salty" was the verdict for anybody wondering. (What was funnier still was one of our female friends disagreeing.) Second, that he jerked it in the Womens' room in the grocery store where he worked.
Third (and best in my opinion), that he was in his parents' room looking for food because they would hide it from him. Looking through his mom's dresser, he found her... "girl toy." And picked it up. And found a strap-on for it. Needless to say, we "cleverly" rewrote the song Stacy's Mom to go "Jeremy's mom has got a strap-on..." There were 2 or 3 verses. And we were hilarious for thinking of it, trust me.
Third (and best in my opinion), that he was in his parents' room looking for food because they would hide it from him. Looking through his mom's dresser, he found her... "girl toy." And picked it up. And found a strap-on for it. Needless to say, we "cleverly" rewrote the song Stacy's Mom to go "Jeremy's mom has got a strap-on..." There were 2 or 3 verses. And we were hilarious for thinking of it, trust me.
From my experience, there's a lot of young women with "Call-your-male-best-friend-at-random times-during-the-night-even-though-you-already-know-they're-asleep-like-any-normal-human-being" syndrome. They seem to flock to me actually.sequio said:
Lucky you, a majority of mine do. Also, before this topic derails completely, a friend once told me she always wondered what a guy would look like with shaved nether regions. She then offered me twenty bucks to shave mine and show her. I took the money.handofpwn said:
For the sake of your interest she said something along the lines of "Wow." with a smile. Then other things happened that I prefer not to discuss on a public forum.handofpwn said:
Yesterday at Christmas dinner, on the subject of past family doctors:
Aunt Val (Nicole's mom): I remember you switched from a guy to a girl doctor specifically.
Cousin Nicole: Well yeah, I didn't want a guy looking at my vagina.
Aunt Val: Wonderful Christmas conversation.. *awkward silence*
Cousin Nicole: Oh, except Matt of course!
Nicole's Fiancee Matt: *facepalm*
Aunt Val (Nicole's mom): I remember you switched from a guy to a girl doctor specifically.
Cousin Nicole: Well yeah, I didn't want a guy looking at my vagina.
Aunt Val: Wonderful Christmas conversation.. *awkward silence*
Cousin Nicole: Oh, except Matt of course!
Nicole's Fiancee Matt: *facepalm*
I was at my mom's house for dinner a couple years back and she had made corn dogs for dinner. As me and my lovely mother are sitting at the table eating, she starts giggling. Corn dog halfway in my mouth, I pause and ask her "Wut?" She stops giggling and says, "You know what that looks like, right?" I remove the corn dog from my mouth, look at it, look at her, look at it, and then it hit me like a freight train. "Thanks mom, i'm not hungry anymore."
As if that weren't bad enough, she then proceeded to shout "If you think THAT'S bad, I have stories I can tell you about me and your father that'd make you never want to eat things shaped like that again!" It took two months before I could buy corn dogs again.
As if that weren't bad enough, she then proceeded to shout "If you think THAT'S bad, I have stories I can tell you about me and your father that'd make you never want to eat things shaped like that again!" It took two months before I could buy corn dogs again.