To Marry an Escapist

[Fappy]

This should be fun! So it's your theoretical wedding day here on the Escapist. Who's your spouse-to-be? Who's your priest/preacher/etc? Who's your best man/bride's maid? You can skip on some of the roles if you wish, but give reasons for your choices!

Considering me and Daystar are going through a divorce right now I think I'd go for SmashLovesTitanQuest [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/SmashLovesTitanQuest] next. He seems like he'd make for good dinner conversations and raise the kids to be touch-as-nails mother fuckers! He'd probably beat me when I got out of line though. Well, nobody's perfect.

I think I'd have to go with Nasrin [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Nasrin] as our priest because she's probably got more experience moderating the community than most and this is pretty much an extreme example of that. Plus she's got blue hair and an awesome cat.

Caramel Frappe [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Caramel+Frappe] would be my best man because he'd be too nice to say anything embarrassing about me during his speech.

MiracleofSound [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/MiracleOfSound] would be the DJ for the reception, obviously.

Aylaine [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Aylaine] would walk me down the isles for sure. She is the guiding hand after all XD

And of course I'd invite all of you to the reception. I want to see some booze-fueled flame wars! Except for Daystar, sorry bro, but that'd just be too awkward. Plus, Smash might break your face out of jealously or some shit.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Well, I am missing a spuse yet, but I already have some ideas on the other roles:

Best man: matthew94, because he was the first guy I noticed and befriended on these forums.

PsychicTaco115 would be the guy I assign to take care of the bachelor party, he seems as if he knows his way around a party.

If possible, I would like Yahtzee to give a speech and Jimothy Sterling to do the ceremony.

Wedding photographer is BarryPurse, since I enjoyed his portray of myself.

And everyone is invited of course, although I would have to work on the seating arrangements.

Because I want the ceremony and reception to go smooth.
The bachelor party is gonna be where the flamestorm's at.

@Daystar: The obvious solution is either a triangle d'amour or a cage-deathmatch.

 

[Fappy]

I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

Don't bring our marriage problems out into the public you tramp!

I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

The obvious solution is to try and take him in the divorce.

You can argue a case until the cows come home. I'm hiring you as my lawyer Mortai!

 

[Calibanbutcher]

I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

Don't bring our marriage problems out into the public you tramp!

I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

The obvious solution is to try and take him in the divorce.

You can argue a case until the cows come home. I'm hiring you as my lawyer Mortai!

Then Daystar better get someone able to use the famous "chewbacca"-defense.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

Don't bring our marriage problems out into the public you tramp!

I have some bad news Fappy.

Smash is already mine.

Suck it.

The obvious solution is to try and take him in the divorce.

You can argue a case until the cows come home. I'm hiring you as my lawyer Mortai!

Mortai is also my lawyer, you can't have him.

 

[Fappy]

-Snip-

I saw him first! You always get this way about things I have that you don't! >:O

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I saw him first! You always get this way about things I have that you don't! >:O

What the hell is this? New avatar?

Stop CHANGING things. How am I supposed to tell you people apart?

 

[Marter]

Okay, I'll bite.

I get to marry Sassafrass, because then he and I can watch The Scorpion King 3 together until the end of time.

And that, my friends, is the most legitimate reason there is.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I saw him first! You always get this way about things I have that you don't! >:O

What the hell is this? New avatar?

Stop CHANGING things. How am I supposed to tell you people apart?

Exactly!

I should get first choice, because at least I've kept my avatar integrity!

Those are the rules that I totally didn't just make up.

 

[Palademon]

MadaraXIII will be all of the above, because he's the only person I have consistent relationship with on this forum, and that's only because I knew him before.

ALL OF THE HOMO JOKES.

 

[Muspelheim]

Pfft. Russia is my bride.

(May or may not have been playing a lot of Hearts of Iron 3 lately).

 

[Lucem712]

Since I'm pretty anti-romantic relations, I will consider this an evolution of platonic friendship!

For my groom, I shall choose two, cos' fuck the system.
[user]PsychicTaco115[/user] and [user]Secret World Leader (shhh)[/user] cos if you gotta marry someone might as well be to great guys with powerful connections.

 

[Rastien]

Your marrying smash off without his consent or knowlege?

 

[TheFunPolice]

Hey, hey, guise...What would I be? !

I'd quite like to marry Binnsyboy, because he and I had a nice talk about music yesterday..He and I would spend our nights, sitting romantically in a field, gazing at the stars, listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers

*Ahem* No homo...

 

[Sassafrass]

Okay, I'll bite.

I get to marry Sassafrass, because then he and I can watch The Scorpion King 3 together until the end of time.

And that, my friends, is the most legitimate reason there is.

I agree with this.
So I'd marry Marter, just so we could watch SK3 together for the rest of our lives.

The rest of you can argue amongst yourselves as to who does what, as all me and Marter need is the best film ever made.